Cleaning With Mario #2

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I thought the door knocker chair was hideous. I didn’t think he could actually beat it then he got this mirror. I can’t breathe
It was honestly like driving home for christmas seeing that monstrous thing then coming here to see what everyones thoughts were I thought the door chair couldn't be topped but this is brilliant
 
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Ha! He is ‘really good at choosing Christmas presents‘, he really does have a very high opinion of himself. Is there no end to his talents? You chose some half price toys from Argos ffs, you didn’t get a bespoke gift flown in from overseas, you twat.
 
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It’s usually sausage you put in for stories
He’s actually cut up square sausages not corned beef , your meant to boil sausages separate to get rid of the fat then add them to veg ,it must have been swimming in grease
 
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Martin has a spare hour, so he’s doing a Q&A. I’m pissing myself at some of his answers. He fancies himself as an interior designer? And his real name is actually Mario, he says. There are some gems amongst those answers. He works at Debenhams (which we all knew) in merchandising/delivery - he kept the delivery bit quiet! Does that mean he is a product replenished? They don’t even let him loose with the customers?! There’s absolutely no shame in being a delivery person or a shelf stacker - but he so makes out that he’s more than that!
Oh Martin. You cock waffle.
 

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I actually don’t mind him sometimes. But one thing that annoys me is how much he contradicts himself.
so when he was well under 10k followers he said “for his own safety” he would never reveal where he worked.
yet he’s nearly on 80k and putting that he works in Debenhams in capital letters.
Also, he would never be able to go abroad because he can’t leave his cat for over a week.
He’s just been to Blackpool for 5 days so where’s the difference? He’s still left his cat regardless of where he has been!
FYI, myself and my partner regularly go abroad for a few days and not a week.
I can’t understand his logic.
I do find, maybe it’s because I’ve followed him since he was a very small account that things he has piped on about he has changed his mind about or contradicted himself.
 

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P
I'm sorry if this convo has done the rounds before but is he actually called Martin?????? I'm crying
 
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So he went to Blackpool and left Rayn on her own for 5 days?
No wonder she did a dirty protest as soon as they walked in the door.
Do they not have catteries/pet sitters/friends/family where you live Mario?

Why not just say, we can't afford to go abroad/we prefer to holiday in the UK/I haven't got a passport because that would reveal my true identity....MARTIN.
 
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Yes , he really enjoyed that , no wonder it’s his “ fav “ subject himself .
Derek seen in his journal that he had written I am not good enough so Derek told him he is shining bright . I think he makes half of this stuff up so all his brain dead mafia will start giving him an ego boost . Nobody loves Mario more than Mario himself

That wreath he has been #gifted looks like something Becky would make and guess what ? .... the woman who made it is just so really really nice . He got it free so everyone go over to the sellers page and buy it to pay for his freebie . It looks ridiculous . I actually started laughing when I seen it . I would be laughing if I was his neighbours .
 
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To die for? I'm dying laughing. Stunning can you imagine if she spelled "hello my lovelies" the way he spells stuff.

Wonder if he gave her the wrong address like he did the crystal girl?

Also....he doesn't mention the wax melts very often. WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT? The fanny mentions them all the time on his stories.
 
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That wreath is perfect for him it matches the rest of his wee flat perfectly , hideous and tacky and looks so cheap , no danger of anyone up his wee Council tenement block stealing that off his door !!!!!!!!
 
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Sweet baby fucking Jesus.

That wreath

FUCKING HIDEOUS!

And it's not even fucking Christmas themed! WTAF?!?

I can't even begin on that monstrosity leaned up against his bedroom wall. I just can't.
 
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Ha ha! That wreath! Look at the wee acorns he says, showing us a fir cone. Martin, you’re an idiot.
 
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He's really good at make up too.... Oh and eyebrows... and fake tan....
 
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You can tell that, despite the bravado, he is pure RAGIN' that he had to buy a copy of Hinch's colouring book. And then she sent him a freebie after he'd made a point of having to buy it. Talk about salt in the wound
 
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