Yeah, wonder if the wee troglodyte is reading here?! Hope so because we tell the truth.Jo Malone, Instafuckas, Tony Almond, Hinch, cuntwashings, the app snaking him, Dereks work the cunts, his clients, the people he shares the high footfall with, and much, much more importantly, hopefully us
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Is that fanny still ill??All them jabs and still keeps getting ill 
the bleeping moron.
the bleeping moron.
We're now buying bleeping gift tags a year in advance, I can't do this anymore ma lovelies
Also why does Derek need one for this year and then one for next year, is she so hard of brains that she doesn't realise wood is reusable?
Also why does Derek need one for this year and then one for next year, is she so hard of brains that she doesn't realise wood is reusable?
People who have no friends do that....!
What a surprise heās not feeling Christmassy.
Iāve got a Christmas party this Friday for work, kids nativities, a winter wonderland thing, then another work Christmas lunch, Christmas shopping and market day with the hubby all still to come in the next two weeks, before actual Christmas Day doing Santa pressies for the kids and then seeing family over Christmas week.
He thinks itās all about how many cheap decorations he can squeeze into his flat, while he scrolls āChristmas reelsā watching kids Christmas films stuffing his face, without ever leaving the house except for work. Thatās not what itās about Maz! Heās so sad.
Notice he never goes to any work Christmas parties or even just for a wee drink with any pals over Christmas
Iāve got a Christmas party this Friday for work, kids nativities, a winter wonderland thing, then another work Christmas lunch, Christmas shopping and market day with the hubby all still to come in the next two weeks, before actual Christmas Day doing Santa pressies for the kids and then seeing family over Christmas week.
He thinks itās all about how many cheap decorations he can squeeze into his flat, while he scrolls āChristmas reelsā watching kids Christmas films stuffing his face, without ever leaving the house except for work. Thatās not what itās about Maz! Heās so sad.
Notice he never goes to any work Christmas parties or even just for a wee drink with any pals over Christmas
Mario's face when he realised we all know he sent that advent calendar back 
That sleigh was gifted I believe, so stop with ''bought myself'' crap.
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How isn't his spiel an advert? He can't remember how he ordered them. Can he hear himself? Is he broken?
He'll be looking like a giant bleeping polony in those pink lassies ski pants he wears so lets hope it snows for him. Paisley not in New York. Also.
He'll be looking like a giant bleeping polony in those pink lassies ski pants he wears so lets hope it snows for him. Paisley not in New York. Also.
Didn't realise he had posted a video all aboot him.
Can spot them a mile off. lol
Can spot them a mile off. lol
Canāt wait for the temperature to hit 12 degrees in Paisley at the weekend your prayers for ice and snow havenāt worked ya fanny
your prayers for ice and snow havenāt worked ya fanny
Heās done it !! 13th December & heās shot his Christmas load !! He has no Christmas spirit left, aye cos youāve been banging on about it since August ya great big pillock !! Whoās gonna tell him that Christmas spirit doesnāt come from films, hot chocolates, snacks & sweets !! Absolute grade A walloper. Factual. Also.
I don't think we'll ever understand this man. He loves Christmas so much blah blah blah, but he's now on a downer?!.
Mario will never be happy or fulfilled with his life, so l thank feck that prick isn't a real friend or family member of mine
Derek, do yourself a favour mate and bin the miserable bastard while you can.
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Had to take this screenshot for a new profile pic. Ugly critter!
Mario will never be happy or fulfilled with his life, so l thank feck that prick isn't a real friend or family member of mine
Derek, do yourself a favour mate and bin the miserable bastard while you can.
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Had to take this screenshot for a new profile pic. Ugly critter!
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I couldnāt work out if he said āalliterateā when he meant āelaborateā. One thingās for sure, heās bloody hard of English and the more he tries to talk to impress, the worse he gets.Did he really just say "I'll illiterate" instead of "I'll reiterate"
And what the actual duck is going on with his hair. Does he realise how ridiculous he looks? Nathan isnāt doing him any favours at all.
Hair's looking on point 
My god who's pissed on his cornflakes today. Stupid little troglodyte. You don't get Christmassy by watching films and other people's tree reels you absolute wanker. Christmas spirit is a feeling, the warmth and cosiness of the season, surrounded by people you love. It's your own fault there is very little love in your life, thats because you're a friendless miserable fucker who everyone hates.
He has the weirdest hair ever.
If he didnāt put his tree up early November he wouldnāt be feeling like this, if he has waited then he would be feeling all those vibes of #stinkofchristmas. He took week off November or early December to do Christmas stuff or left it to now or next week he also wouldnāt be feeling like this.
Literally no sympathy for him. He would love it snow and be snowed in because means wouldnāt need to go to work and not because it would give him all those nostalgic vibes, but he would also moan about that because then he couldnāt go to b&m, home bargains etc.
Donāt know about youse but it was a nice day cold, dry and little sun so donāt know why he is saying it was awful weather was driest day weāve had in a week or so.
If he didnāt put his tree up early November he wouldnāt be feeling like this, if he has waited then he would be feeling all those vibes of #stinkofchristmas. He took week off November or early December to do Christmas stuff or left it to now or next week he also wouldnāt be feeling like this.
Literally no sympathy for him. He would love it snow and be snowed in because means wouldnāt need to go to work and not because it would give him all those nostalgic vibes, but he would also moan about that because then he couldnāt go to b&m, home bargains etc.
Donāt know about youse but it was a nice day cold, dry and little sun so donāt know why he is saying it was awful weather was driest day weāve had in a week or so.
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