Showing off his lipgloss while sitting about in his Kat Slater pyjamas 
what an old fat tart he is!
what an old fat tart he is!
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But surely working indoors in a police station it would be air conditioned, right?? And is he saying he has it harder than the officers he works with that go out all day in their uniforms and protective gear all day long?
Have youse left your home town ma lovelie, that's the secret #soayeI awoken up this morning gutted I'm still not a blue tick wanker
Uni is free for Scots, he could do an access course, or do open university around his work and that app. Its so easy to improve your life, he chooses not to.
I, Martin get too hoat when ah'm cleaning truncheons 
Does the fat toad no realises if she draps that extra 3 stone she’s put on in the last year (courtesy a castelvecchi and McDonald’s) then she widny be so done in by this heat?
imagine wit the sweat under her man titties smell like. BOKE
imagine wit the sweat under her man titties smell like. BOKE
Bet he gets the half moon sweat on his blouses.Does the fat toad no realises if she draps that extra 3 stone she’s put on in the last year (courtesy a castelvecchi and McDonald’s) then she widny be so done in by this heat?
imagine wit the sweat under her man titties smell like. BOKE
Probably doesn’t help that he doesn’t own any natural fibres. Everything is polyester
He probably never buys anything cotton or breathable (it'll all be cheap polyester crap), never drinks any water or considers trying to drop a bit of the weight he's put on in the last year. It's not even that hot! If I can survive commuting to and from the City of London on a train with no air con in the middle of a summer heat wave (it was pushing 40c on my train for weeks!) while 8 months pregnant, then I'm sure he can survive a couple of hours doing some light cleaning in an air conditioned building. He's such a bloody complainer it must be exhausting to be around him. How on earth is he going to survive on a summer holiday? And how will Deek survive a week or two with the bastard without yeeting him straight into the ocean??Does the fat toad no realises if she draps that extra 3 stone she’s put on in the last year (courtesy a castelvecchi and McDonald’s) then she widny be so done in by this heat?
imagine wit the sweat under her man titties smell like. BOKE
Hark at you living that London Life hen. Keep you power!
He considers himself to be the centre of the universe- no one gets as hot as him, no one has as sensitive skin, regardless of your job no one works as hard as Mario the cleaner who’s shift seems be be 11-2 most days , other folk apply for Instagram ticks but he just gets his from the “powers” because he read the secret and just manifested it…..he’s such a deluded egomaniac
, other folk apply for Instagram ticks but he just gets his from the “powers” because he read the secret and just manifested it…..he’s such a deluded egomaniac 
If youse need help handling 'London Life' be sure to slip intae Mario's closed inbox. He's quite the city gurul these days.
He buys cheap polyester PJs and bedding. There is no airflow because there is tit shoved everywhere! FFS he sleeps on a bed which has little airflow anyway given the style of the frame, but has then proceeded to fill it to bursting with plastic and polyester tat. You cannot moan about the heat in bed whilst ensuring it cannot escape 
.
And more fool him and his 4.5tog duvet! I found and bought a 1tog!
And the champion of small business...Dunelm, Home Bargains, Lookfantastic, Amazon (repeatedly because of his desperate aff links now he's clearly not worried about his security being compromised). So much small business support
.And more fool him and his 4.5tog duvet! I found and bought a 1tog!
And the champion of small business...Dunelm, Home Bargains, Lookfantastic, Amazon (repeatedly because of his desperate aff links now he's clearly not worried about his security being compromised). So much small business support
Smell the wealth Hen
I can’t believe my ears… he’s just spent more stories moaning about the heat and how tired it’s made him, and then said he’s not going to complain because it’s been lovely What a dick!
What a dick!Just realised The Little Mermaid has been out nearly a week now. Did he go see it after banging on about it? Nah, course not. Because as usual he's all talk
He’ll probably watch it on that pirate amazon stick he has. Then pretend he went the pics.Just realised The Little Mermaid has been out nearly a week now. Did he go see it after banging on about it? Nah, course not. Because as usual he's all talk
Always reminds me of when the bleep filmed the end of Toy Story 3 on his stories. Spoiler alert ya fat slag!
Wt actual f is going on with Marion ‘s nose!!! Its like hes gone few rounds Tyson Fury its all bulbous n mis-shaped.
Those lips are absolutely shite and nae debates. There’s lumps migrating all over the top lip to beneath his hooter area and the bottom is already mis shapen. Suppose that’s what you get what you blow your cost of living on a Groupon filler offer like a pyoor idiot.
In other news he will probably end up spritzing that hair spray all over his face #ifyounoseyounose
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