Has anyone ever done it? It’s starting to look like I may have to this year and I feel physically sick at the thought of it. I’m already crying and anytime I see anything Christmas related I want to curl into a ball and not wake up. Please help.
Christmas on your own
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I may be on my own to and dont know what or how to feel atm since my grandma and my friend (who adored xmas) passed over 4 years ago it hasn't been the same anyway and i spend the period coming up to it wishing it to be over and i kind of just go wherever went to my other grans 2 years ago to make sure she weren't alone and my cousin went last year and that would of been my plan this year but poor love broke her wrist eariler this year so not sure what she's gonna be up too both my parents will be working I'm currently avoiding shops as much as i can I'm really sorry it's not nice i don't know what i can suggest really 
think im gonna spend the day in my pjs watch crap telly cook my fav dinner have my favourite snacks and maybe go for a walk
think im gonna spend the day in my pjs watch crap telly cook my fav dinner have my favourite snacks and maybe go for a walkThanks for your reply. I just feel so sad as the only family member I have (my mum) literally doesn’t care. I messaged her to say how upset I was and she didn’t even reply. Like how can you not even reply to your own daughter? I have no siblings, grandparents, dads out of the picture, no aunts/uncles. Never have - just my mum and she’s always been distant but has had me over for Christmas. Now she’s found a new family, and will be having a huge get together and I’m not invited? And she didn’t even reply when I said it was upsetting. Just can’t believe my life is like this. I struggle with every occasion - Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays, Easter - always on my own but this just feels so much worse. I really thought I’d have my own family by now but the trauma I’ve dealt with during my childhood has made that difficult. Gosh this is hard.
This will be my first Christmas on my own in 67 years. I will be in a Premier Inn as I have to take my grandson who lives with me to work on Christmas Day as there are no trains. Same again Boxing Day. I can’t go to my daughters as her other half has barred me for me telling him what I thought about the way he treats her. My other son is going away for Christmas and another one lives in the other side of the world. To be honest it sounds as if you’re better off without your mother. An idea for you would to see if you could help one of the charities that feed the homeless at Christmas. The clips I’ve seen of people doing it looks like there are lots of fun and laughter going on. Hopefully it would make you feel better about yourself. Sending big hugs x
Christmases that I've spent on my own have been the best. No pressure from people, no pressure to eat a massive meal, no silly presents, no silly games. You can make the day whatever you want, just consider it a day off life.
The whole period is a complete invention for people to spend money, so if you avoid the hype you don't get that massive downer people seem to go on after the day is over. It's good to be able to enjoy your own company also.
If I had to do it for the first time I'd be very tempted to book a little off-grid cabin or cottage somewhere in the middle of nowhere, take a stack of books, ingredients for delicious warming stews and really settle into being on my own doing exactly what I wanted to. It's just another day and it is what you make it. You could either sink into it or embrace it.
I’ve never done Christmas Day on my own, but I know a few people who have. They all say the same thing, “It’s just one day”, and I think that’s the way to look at it. Christmas isn’t always how it looks on the TV or on social media. Not everyone has big families, lots of friends, etc. It can be a real crappy time for so many. Have a you day, do things that you like doing that you might not always get time to do. Stay in your PJs, watch films, have a long bath, read a book, go for a walk. Like someone else said, there’s no pressure to do anything when you’re on your own. A friend of mine volunteered to help out at a Christmas lunch for the elderly with no family last year and she loved it. It kept her busy and she’s doing it again this year. Do you have twitter? There’s the #JoinIn that Sarah Millican started years ago. That’s for people on their own and it’s meant to be a great way of talking to others in similar situations over Christmas. 
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Haven’t done it myself however a close friend has. For various reasons she chose to be. She had a lazy morning, great breakfast then helped out at her local homeless shelter. Had a great day amongst like minded people & felt like she truly helped. Came home, had a lovely dinner of her choice & went to bed feeling v fulfilled indeed.
At end of day it’s a day how u make it & whilst it’s a shame how ur mum is, sounds like she won’t change so best to draw a line, remove any expectations & spend these days on how YOU SEE FIT
At end of day it’s a day how u make it & whilst it’s a shame how ur mum is, sounds like she won’t change so best to draw a line, remove any expectations & spend these days on how YOU SEE FIT
I've never been on my own on Christmas Day but I have always felt a sense of disappointment in the day as I always do what is expected of me, I spend all the day preparing meals and rushing about whilst others enjoy the day, and I have guests that I don't really want to invite but feel I have to as the woe is me messages start right about now. I guess I think that if I spent it on my own I'd be able to do just what I wanted to, and not what others wanted, and not have to clean, shop, cook, dress, feel pressure and it might actually be quite nice to eat when I want, what I want and just watch tv. For the record, I really hate Christmas dinner.
However, I appreciate that some love the company so I feel for you. If you don't have family to go to, or friends you could see, would you find it fulfilling to maybe volunteer at a crisis shelter or something so you have company but you also do something that changes how others spend Christmas? Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure a lot of us will check in here, so you're not alone. Keep on talking.
However, I appreciate that some love the company so I feel for you. If you don't have family to go to, or friends you could see, would you find it fulfilling to maybe volunteer at a crisis shelter or something so you have company but you also do something that changes how others spend Christmas? Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure a lot of us will check in here, so you're not alone. Keep on talking.
I was going to suggest volunteering..... I'm sure there are many places crying out for help on Christmas Day.... you'll be with others and be doing something worthwhile.....Haven’t done it myself however a close friend has. For various reasons she chose to be. She had a lazy morning, great breakfast then helped out at her local homeless shelter. Had a great day amongst like minded people & felt like she truly helped. Came home, had a lovely dinner of her choice & went to bed feeling v fulfilled indeed.
At end of day it’s a day how u make it & whilst it’s a shame how ur mum is, sounds like she won’t change so best to draw a line, remove any expectations & spend these days on how YOU SEE FIT
I'd love to spend it on my own, I usually go to family on Christmas Eve through to Boxing day but this year having Christmas Eve on my own at least. Make myself some nice cocktails, get in all my favourite food from M&S, light a candle, stick the TV on. Bliss.
Find a soup kitchen or homeless refuge to volunteer at.
At the end of the day, it's just one day in a very long year
At the end of the day, it's just one day in a very long year
Christmas is all about people gathering together. A large proportion of people are excluded for varying reasons but as far as I can see this issue is ignored, as if it doesn't exist which is frustrating. I would like to see it addressed and solutions offered for people who don't want to be alone for Christmas. I know it's addressed on a small scale but big organisations need to get involved.
It sounds like it’s not the day so much as the fact that your mum has left you out and isn’t acknowledging how hurtful that is to you. All I can say is she truly does sound as if you are better off not spending the day with her, if that is how she can treat her own daughter.
I know it’s hard when you see pictures on social media of everyone enjoying themselves all together but remember that’s just an image that doesn’t show what is often a really difficult time for lots of people, stress of the cost, family tensions and arguments so it’s not all rosy, please don’t feel bad that you’re missing out.
Think of the things that make you feel happy and try and do those for the day if you can. Otherwise I think volunteering for the day might keep you busy and you’d be with other people
I know it’s hard when you see pictures on social media of everyone enjoying themselves all together but remember that’s just an image that doesn’t show what is often a really difficult time for lots of people, stress of the cost, family tensions and arguments so it’s not all rosy, please don’t feel bad that you’re missing out.
Think of the things that make you feel happy and try and do those for the day if you can. Otherwise I think volunteering for the day might keep you busy and you’d be with other people