I've never said I've never left my children before. It's not a wind up. My 5 year old is still my "baby" .
Christmas day
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As an ex nursery nurse I will say quality time spent together is better quantity but you are obviously in a 'rock and hard place' situation so whatever makes you feel happier and less stressed will be better for your little ones.Also if some celebrations need to be on another day your children get an extra day of celebration, fun and love.
Could you take the kids with you in the car to collect him and sing along to Christmas songs on the way & make it part of the day? He might be delighted that you brought the kids to collect him too and the kids might enjoy it too. You can always arrange a lift back for him with your partner or a taxi if he’s comfortable with that. It’s only one day and as someone who lost their dad before he could meet my child I’d say I hope you find a way to make it work so you all so you all have a lovely day together 
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You've asked for advice about your dad before from what you've said previously I'm not sure why Christmas day is any different you must have picked him up multiple times before and you have him stay with you all day
If you're husband is picking his dad up and goes past your dad's home why isnt he picking him up to?
It honestly sounds like you want to be told its ok for you to not host your dad at all on Christmas day
If you're husband is picking his dad up and goes past your dad's home why isnt he picking him up to?
It honestly sounds like you want to be told its ok for you to not host your dad at all on Christmas day
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It’s gone from 40 mins each way (1hr 20) to 3 hours of driving? Which is it?
From what you’ve written in comments so far, you are being selfish, yes..
From what you’ve written in comments so far, you are being selfish, yes..
I nearly lost my dad this year and as much as I love my kids, every special occasion together is a gift. I'd drive 12 hours to have him there with me on Christmas day. You're talking 3 hours out of a whole day in order for your poor dad not to be alone. Christmas is about families being together, your kids will survive a few hours and you'll teach them a valuable lesson in putting others first and having empathy. Theres plenty of options available to you to make this work however, you sound a bit spoilt and selfish and your husband a bit of a fool.
Maybe you should just admit that you don't want to have him on Christmas Day rather than make being away from your children the excuse? It's a valid reason if he's too demanding.You've asked for advice about your dad before from what you've said previously I'm not sure why Christmas day is any different you must have picked him up multiple times before and you have him stay with you all day
If you're husband is picking his dad up and goes past your dad's home why isnt he picking him up to?
It honestly sounds like you want to be told its ok for you to not host your dad at all on Christmas day
You’ve got several options here
1) put your foot down and tell your husband to collect him in the morning and you’ll drop them off later so you both have to do the same thing, or you pick them up and he drops them off, then it’s fair
2) pay for a taxi for your dad both ways
3) don’t host him as you can’t be arsed and don’t want too but deal with the consequences
4) do pick and drop off with your kids for your dad
5) drive to pick him up without your kids and give your sanity a break and have some alone time
If you don’t want your dad there then that’s sorted but it’s not a big conundrum tbh you just have to deal with the consequences but really I suspect this is part of a longer term issue which I’d suggest you speak to a professional about
1) put your foot down and tell your husband to collect him in the morning and you’ll drop them off later so you both have to do the same thing, or you pick them up and he drops them off, then it’s fair
2) pay for a taxi for your dad both ways
3) don’t host him as you can’t be arsed and don’t want too but deal with the consequences
4) do pick and drop off with your kids for your dad
5) drive to pick him up without your kids and give your sanity a break and have some alone time
If you don’t want your dad there then that’s sorted but it’s not a big conundrum tbh you just have to deal with the consequences but really I suspect this is part of a longer term issue which I’d suggest you speak to a professional about
You had this problem before...
Why is it always 9 hours 
Have him up on Christmas eve or boxing day instead?
I thought that a out the driving time but realised she'll have to do it twice pick up/drop off?
It's 40 mins each way so Ill have to driven 160 minutes all together so that's nearly 3 hours unless I can't count . I'm only asking for advice. I'm not selfish. I just hate being away from my babies, yes I work but I can't imagine being away from my babies on Xmas day and yes I know plenty of people do for example nurses, military etc
Could your dad help with a taxi payment? Even if you went to collect him but he got a taxi home to cut the cost of a taxi and driving time for you? Or if your husbands collecting his dad from closer to the care home could your dad get a taxi to your husbands dads house to arrive at the time your husband will be picking him up? That way your husband doesn't have to do anymore driving and a cheaper taxi ride
There's a lot of advice here, if you just want to leave your father at the care home then do so, but most people will not think that it's a great thing to do. And it's just bizarre that your husband is picking up his dad but refusing to pick up yours, despite the care home being on his way.
IF you want your dad with you, you either get a grip and make the drive yourself or have a talk with your husband about why he's leaving you in a difficult spot like this. I honestly can't wrap my head around his objection, especially when you're hosting.
Are you sure you want advice or do you actually want to ease your conscience? This is getting weird lol.
IF you want your dad with you, you either get a grip and make the drive yourself or have a talk with your husband about why he's leaving you in a difficult spot like this. I honestly can't wrap my head around his objection, especially when you're hosting.
Are you sure you want advice or do you actually want to ease your conscience? This is getting weird lol.
Could do you do the trip really early so you're not missing out on the main part of the day? Leave the kids with the husband until you get back. Then also if you take him back a bit later the kids would be asleep anyway.
It's 40 mins each way so Ill have to driven 160 minutes all together so that's nearly 3 hours unless I can't count .
They were just asking a question, much like you. Now we are all understanding. Tbh I was confused too.
I'm only asking for advice.
Yes and you have been given multiple replies with great ideas of what to do yet you aren't accepting any of them. Why is that?
I'm not selfish.
Nobody said you are.
I just hate being away from my babies, yes I work but I can't imagine being away from my babies on Xmas day and yes I know plenty of people do for example nurses, military etc
You explained that and people are very understanding of it. You have been given plenty ideas of what to do in order to help with this. Yet you seem to be ignoring all of them as you haven't mentioned any of them.
Your options are:
They were just asking a question, much like you. Now we are all understanding. Tbh I was confused too.
I'm only asking for advice.
Yes and you have been given multiple replies with great ideas of what to do yet you aren't accepting any of them. Why is that?
I'm not selfish.
Nobody said you are.
I just hate being away from my babies, yes I work but I can't imagine being away from my babies on Xmas day and yes I know plenty of people do for example nurses, military etc
You explained that and people are very understanding of it. You have been given plenty ideas of what to do in order to help with this. Yet you seem to be ignoring all of them as you haven't mentioned any of them.
Your options are:
- Order a Taxi for you Dad to and from
- Take kids with you in car to collect and return you Dad
- Do a mix of both above options
- Tell your Dad he can't visit you this Xmas
- Get your Husband to assist with pick up/drop off
Perhaps this is what your dad thinks about you
Can just imagine it..’well Dad, I’ve asked for advice about this on a forum and they’ve said I’m not selfish to not want you here on Xmas day and that I’m right to not want to leave my babies to spend 3 hours picking you up and taking you home because your selfish son in law said he won’t pick you up’,
‘So yeah thing is Dad according to these anonymous forum members I’m right to not have you here on Xmas day, so sorry about that but that’s the advice I received and that’s how I make all my life decisions on the advice or strangers.
Have a good Christmas in the Care Home Dad
but might as well let you know now that I won’t be able to have you next year either or any Xmas actually as my babies will still be babies forever more.
‘So yeah thing is Dad according to these anonymous forum members I’m right to not have you here on Xmas day, so sorry about that but that’s the advice I received and that’s how I make all my life decisions on the advice or strangers.
Have a good Christmas in the Care Home Dad
but might as well let you know now that I won’t be able to have you next year either or any Xmas actually as my babies will still be babies forever more.- Status