Child’s first day of nursery/school/day care nerves

[Notgonnalie]

Just thought it might be a good idea for a thread for everyone nervous about their child starting school or nursery!

My little girl (4) starts her first ever day at nursery school in 2 weeks and I am ridiculously nervous! I always knew I would be. I’m the clingy, helicopter mum that everyone rolls their eyes at no doubt lol. I’ve never left my kids for a sleepover or anything. The most I’ve gone is for 2 hours and I worried the whole time thanks to my anxiety!

is anyone else nervous or is it just me? Any tips for making the first day smooth for both of us? She’s really excited and she knows I won’t be with her and understands she’ll be with her teacher who she’s met and meet lots of new friends etc so I’m not worried that she won’t adapt I’m more worried about myself

the nursery she’s going to are amazing I’m really happy with them we’ve had a tour and zoom calls and I feel like she’s going to be really well looked after so that helps massively! But my nerves are through the roof!!

 

[Motherofpugs]

My son started nursery in July and I was nervous for him but he took it all in his stride and settled in very quickly much to my surprise. He LOVES it there! And I feel like he’s getting so much out of it, especially as lockdown has been all he’s known. I’m so glad we decided to send him.

My only advice would be that even if you feel anxious at handover, try to put on a cool front and save any emotions for afterwards. If you are confident at handover, your child will feel more confident going in. My nursery has an app where you can see what they get up to which really puts my mind at ease. They do so many fun things there I really don’t think my son gives me a second thought anymore

 

[Notgonnalie]

My son started nursery in July and I was nervous for him but he took it all in his stride and settled in very quickly much to my surprise. He LOVES it there! And I feel like he’s getting so much out of it, especially as lockdown has been all he’s known. I’m so glad we decided to send him.

My only advice would be that even if you feel anxious at handover, try to put on a cool front and save any emotions for afterwards. If you are confident at handover, your child will feel more confiden going in. My nursery has an app where you can see what they get up to which really puts my mind at ease. They do so many fun things there I really don’t think my son gives me a second thought anymore

Awwwww that’s so reassuring thank you for your reply!! I think ours has the app too!! I’m so excited to see her doing things with other kids and getting to enjoy life a bit more it’s like their childhoods been robbed from them the past 18 months so it really must be so lovely seeing them doing normal things Thank you for the tip I will defo try and look cool and confident and save all my tears for the car after 🥲 she told me while she’s in nursery I should go and get myself a coffee dear love her

 

[Motherofpugs]

Awwwww that’s so reassuring thank you for your reply!! I think ours has the app too!! I’m so excited to see her doing things with other kids and getting to enjoy life a bit more it’s like their childhoods been robbed from them the past 18 months so it really must be so lovely seeing them doing normal things Thank you for the tip I will defo try and look cool and confident and save all my tears for the car after 🥲 she told me while she’s in nursery I should go and get myself a coffee dear love her

Aw how sweet! I think every child has a settling period - some longer than others, but ultimately I believe it is all worth it in the long run and it’s good preparation for school too. I will say though, prepare for a lot of germs in the beginning! It’s all good for their immune system though, especially these days.

 

[rainbowlemon]

What about transitional objects for the both of you?

Something she can hold to if she needs comfort?

I used to keep a lego mini figure.

Transitional Objects: How Your Child’s Favorite Stuffed Animal Promotes Social Emotional Development

babysparks.com

.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

My 11 year old is starting secondary school in September and I am so worried she is autistic and thinks everything is going to be amazing which im going along with as I dont want to show her im worried and im telling her it will be great.

But she doesn't really talk to people so im worried she'll be picked on or will get lost and not be able to ask anyone the way etc

 

[rainbowlemon]

Have you manged to talk to the school coordinator? The school should be offering extra support.

I've heard of others offering students time out of classes if they get too overwhelmed.

 

[bubbadabut]

My 4th and final child started nursery in March. She is the only one who has started nursery with me being unable to enter the premises (due to Covid). The result? Went in with no problems whatsoever, she absolutely loves it and has asked me every day during the holidays as to when she can go back. I actually think it's worked out for the best that parents can't go inside. It's never nice for parents or children to hear all the screaming kids and seeing them clinging onto their mums.

My daughter's class could just be a more settled group of kids compared to my other children's peers when they all started, but I do think the 'Covid kids' have really adapted well and seem to just want to get on with it.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Have you manged to talk to the school coordinator? The school should be offering extra support.

I've heard of others offering students time out of classes if they get too overwhelmed.

The transition days were cancelled due to covid but the school is only open to year 7 on the first day and they have assured me that there will be people outside school waiting to help so I can hand her over so to speak.

My worry is the second day really. am I supposed to just leave her and expect her to remember where her tutor group classroom is

 

[Notgonnalie]

What about transitional objects for the both of you?

Something she can hold to if she needs comfort?

I used to keep a lego mini figure.

Transitional Objects: How Your Child’s Favorite Stuffed Animal Promotes Social Emotional Development

babysparks.com

.

Love this idea thank you so much

My 11 year old is starting secondary school in September and I am so worried she is autistic and thinks everything is going to be amazing which im going along with as I dont want to show her im worried and im telling her it will be great.

But she doesn't really talk to people so im worried she'll be picked on or will get lost and not be able to ask anyone the way etc

Awwww big hugs that sounds so scary! I hope she has the best time and is surrounded by kind people who will always help her feel comfortable safe and loved. It’s such a big deal isn’t it and it must be even more worrying because you want to make sure her needs are met too Kids can be so cruel at times but there are definitely a lot of kids with compassion especially during lockdown they seem to be making more of an effort to really be inclusive and kind to each other so hopefully if she does get lost someone will make all the effort to try and help her

keep us posted on how she and you are getting on with it! It’s nice to have a place to vent about it all!

 

[Tree_]

Go in cheerful. It'll fly by and then youll be able to be proud and have loads of cuddles

 

[Tublet83]

My 4th and final child started nursery in March. She is the only one who has started nursery with me being unable to enter the premises (due to Covid). The result? Went in with no problems whatsoever, she absolutely loves it and has asked me every day during the holidays as to when she can go back. I actually think it's worked out for the best that parents can't go inside. It's never nice for parents or children to hear all the screaming kids and seeing them clinging onto their mums.

My daughter's class could just be a more settled group of kids compared to my other children's peers when they all started, but I do think the 'Covid kids' have really adapted well and seem to just want to get on with it.

My youngest daughter is starting school nursery in Sept I delayed her due to covid (naively thought it would be over ), and school have decided to keep not have any settling in etc and just throwing them in together like last year because it worked out better.

Personally all for it because both mine prefer structure, but they said they would do individual settling in for anyone that needs it.

Mine is really excited and despite her being in private nursery full time since 10 months old I will still be crying my eyes out when I leave her She’s really excited to be grown up, and I’ve glad I delayed her starting she’s v.ready now.

 

[Notgonnalie]

It’s so interesting all the different approaches each place is doing! Ours said they’ve made there’s a bit different than usual to help children get used to it so for us they are introducing 4 kids at a time so on my daughters first day it’ll be her and 3 others for 2 hours and then they’ll gradually over the first few weeks bring in more kids until it builds up their class of 16. They said they will take it case by case for each child on how many hours they have them in for so one child might be in 9-12:30 while another child might still be in 9-11 so I feel like that will really help me break in I have no doubts my daughter will settle I think she is definitely ready for it we have had her in so many different groups and activities from she was just months old so she loves being around other children I think it’s gonna be me whose the issue

Im so glad it’s not just be who will be an emotional rollercoaster!! Well have to all check in and see how our little ones are getting on, hopefully they’ll all smash it! This past 18 months has definitely taught us how resilient they are 🥲

 

[peachhes]

Ooo following this thread My little one is due to start nursery early next year and I’m already worrying like crazy

 

[Sally1993]

I just dropped mine off for the first time. We talked about it all week, so they knew what would be happening. Still, the panic in their little faces was horrible, and my legs were shaking as I turned away.

They’ll be fine after a few sessions, I’m sure.

 

[FakeSmile]

My 3 year old started preschool last September and is going into reception in a couple of weeks time. He isn’t 4 until the end of this month so will be one of the youngest and is really shy and struggles to settle. In fact he was still clinging onto me when I dropped him off at preschool up to and including the last day!

So far he’s quite positive about ‘big school’ but I know dropping him off those first few times at least will be absolute hell. I’m dreading it

 

[Niamhm]

My little boy is 2.5 and is starting nursery in September! Only 2 mornings a week but I'm so nervous. Besides me and his dad, he's only ever been looked after by my MIL so it's a big deal to me. But he's more than ready and loves playing with other kids so I just keep thinking it's for him, not me and to just be really positive about it all.

 

[Notgonnalie]

How’s everyone coping have your little ones started yet?

My little girl started nursery today! She settled in quite well no tears and hugged and kissed me goodbye and told me to go and get a coffee! When I picked her up the teacher said she done really well she did get a bit tearful half way through the day they think she was overwhelmed but she settled back down again. They said she didn’t really speak much to them other than to say “yes” and “no” words but they heard her chatting with the children so they don’t feel there’s any concerns there but just wanted to check that she’s chatting at home ok, and she is - she never shuts up at home but it’s made me a bit worried. Is it normal for kids to be shy? I mean I assume it is normal it’s her first day meeting new teachers she can be quite reserved with strangers so I’m not obsessively worried but my anxiety is making me kind ofquestion should I be more worried! I guess I just want reassurance anyway hopefully she’ll open up a bit more tomorrow and the days that follow when she feels more safe! Tomorrow’s session has been extended by an hour as they felt she coped quite well today! So I guess that’s a good sign?

 

[sassylash]

My girl starts next week a little later than the rest of the school as she is going into reception for the first time. I think i’m going to cry tbh!!! Last one standing at the school gates

 

[Motherofpugs]

How’s everyone coping have your little ones started yet?

My little girl started nursery today! She settled in quite well no tears and hugged and kissed me goodbye and told me to go and get a coffee! When I picked her up the teacher said she done really well she did get a bit tearful half way through the day they think she was overwhelmed but she settled back down again. They said she didn’t really speak much to them other than to say “yes” and “no” words but they heard her chatting with the children so they don’t feel there’s any concerns there but just wanted to check that she’s chatting at home ok, and she is - she never shuts up at home but it’s made me a bit worried. Is it normal for kids to be shy? I mean I assume it is normal it’s her first day meeting new teachers she can be quite reserved with strangers so I’m not obsessively worried but my anxiety is making me kind ofquestion should I be more worried! I guess I just want reassurance anyway hopefully she’ll open up a bit more tomorrow and the days that follow when she feels more safe! Tomorrow’s session has been extended by an hour as they felt she coped quite well today! So I guess that’s a good sign?

Sounds very normal to me. I think your daughter did great for her first day! My son still chats more at home than at nursery but he’s starting to talk there more now.