We have what we call a soft opening, at the moment that means my daughter goes in and does her physio first rather than jumping straight in to schoolwork, it’s working so far.
We have what we call a soft opening, at the moment that means my daughter goes in and does her physio first rather than jumping straight in to schoolwork, it’s working so far.We aren't there yet with secondary (currently arranging to view our local ones) so I really sympathise with you. My son has always hated school and often refuses to go. He literally has to be dragged in by his head teacher. No advice I'm afraid as we still haven't found a solution.
Sorry for late reply. In the end we had no electricity for 9 days! How are you?You're not waffling! I totally understand and can't thank you enough for taking time during a really stressful period in your life to offer kindness and support to a stranger on the internet!
We have tried two types of medication. Equasym XL which we have tried sprinkling in a variety of things; milkshake, yogurt, squash, chocolate spread etc and recently it was swapped to a liquid form of Strattera. He managed four days before complete refusal and we tried giving it straight with sour sweet chaser, mixing it in milkshake, mango juice and orange juice. He just can't cope. He does manage to take Slenyto occasionally which helps. Like you, we take medication breaks during school holidays. We did with the eldest too. Although at one point, when he would take it, we did get him to have it when we went away on holiday because it made life more bearable for everyone (I hope that doesn't come across as too awful but he has siblings who are really struggling to cope with his behaviour).
Something has changed somewhere and I can only think it's anxiety due to Secondary transition because for the bits of year six that he was at school (Covid not school refusal) he took his medication without issue. The anxiety ramps up his sensory difficulties.
We are going to ask for a referral for CBT from CAHMS which I think could be helpful, especially as he has OCD traits as well (they won't diagnose it as a stand alone condition until he's older).
I'm away for work next week and I've realised that I feel guilty. I started a new career earlier in the year, full time, as oppose to working from home part time like I was previously and I feel like I'm failing him by not being around more like I was for the eldest. I need to work though. Not just financially but for my own well being. I also really love my job. I was unwell for a number of years and waited a long time to be able to be physically well enough to work full time.
Sorry, I'm waffling now! x
9 days without electricity! You poor things!!Sorry for late reply. In the end we had no electricity for 9 days! How are you?
I totally agree with you it's really hard to get your child to take medication when they absolutely refuse. Def push for a referral for CBT. It doesn't come across as awful at all as we also give our son medication if we have a day out at the weekend because it calms him down and keeps him level.
I know it's hard but don't feel guilty about having a career as you do need something for you. You're being a great role model for your children and gives you a break from the kids.
Sorry to hear you've been unwell for a number of years, hope you're ok now?
I've booked my son in at the barbers on Sat. This is monumental! He absolutely refuses to let me near his head now because I shaved his head a couple of years ago with clippers and he hated the feel of it against his scalp. My husband had to hold him down while I finished it off. Traumatic for him and me. His hair is long now and told me yesterday he wants a hair cut but not by me. I'll let you know how it goes.
Take care x
My heart goes out to you and your family. The amount of worry and stress you are under is just awful. Sorry you are going through this, it is just relentless.9 days without electricity! You poor things!!
Things have unravelled a bit here. He had two days in last week, with the new measures in place but the last day went very badly wrong, more class truanting, definance and rudeness etc. This meant that a mere 24 hours after being told the school would definitely not apply for an EHCP, they were on the phone telling us we may need to "re-visit" the idea. (Works for us!)
Unfortunately last weeks events have caused total and complete school refusal and has led us withdraw him from school for the rest of the term on medical grounds (with the support of his Dr). The anxiety is making him really very unwell. The CAT team are meant to come into school at some point soon and fingers crossed things might improve a bit from January if the break over Xmas helps reduce the anxiety.
However...we've aleady pretty much decided that if return to school doesn't go well then we are going to find a school that's better suited to his needs because this situation isn't sustainable long term. It's absolutely awful seeing him so distressed and the resulting behaviour difficulties (volatility, more meltdowns, attacking siblings etc) are seriously impacting us as a family. If the school are happy to apply for the EHCP then that's great but if not we will do a parental application.
Hope the hair cut goes well! x
Thank you.My heart goes out to you and your family. The amount of worry and stress you are under is just awful. Sorry you are going through this, it is just relentless.
In my experience having an EHCP for my son gave us more of a voice for my sons needs to be met at school. I think going through the process of applying for your son is such a positive step and will benefit him so much.
I think it's the right decision to look for another school so your sons needs are met. Research schools when you get a chance and visit them in the new year and start the ball rolling, don't wait as it can take time. Hopefully the break over Christmas will reduce his anxiety.
If you don't mind me asking how old is your son?
My son is now 15, had the stress of primary schools (3 different ones) got the current stress of secondary school and I'll have stress next year for college.
Take care x
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