Children with Extra Needs

[Gingercream]

My middle boy is 3 and on the pathway for an autism diagnosis. He is non verbal and delayed in all areas apart from massively ahead in gross motor I caught him climbing into the fridge earlier!

He’s a massive sensory seeker and is constantly climbing, spinning, tapping to make noises. He will only eat crunchy food so his diet consists of dry cereal, crisps and crispy oven chips.

He’s at an amazing nursery and has 1 to 1 there which is really helping. He has speech and language therapy there too and a specialist teacher from the council has just taken him into his caseload too to help us - he’s starting to use PECS to communicate but we need help with it. They’re going to start applying for an EHCP for him this summer to make sure it’s sorted for when he starts school next September.

I didn’t realise there was a link with hyper mobility! I’m hyper mobile and my husband is always saying he thinks I have ASD I struggle with social stuff but am good at masking and then am knackered and can barely function when I get home.

 

[Devondoll]

Any advice for picky eaters?
My 3 year old will 100% eat plain pasta.
Sausages, chips, waffles, chicken, nuggets, meatballs all stand a 50/50 chance of being eaten. Anything else not a chance.
I currently operate on a "go ahead and starve" method.....

Oh no I'm not sure we have limited meal choices here too, but in all honestly hes not too bad. He likes fish fingers and fish (battered birds eye), loves broccoli, pasta, spag bol, chicken korma. If we have roast he will have broccoli, carrots, cauliflower and the meat. He actually doesnt have a bad range of foods he will eat but hes extremely reluctant to try new things.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Any advice for picky eaters?
My 3 year old will 100% eat plain pasta.
Sausages, chips, waffles, chicken, nuggets, meatballs all stand a 50/50 chance of being eaten. Anything else not a chance.
I currently operate on a "go ahead and starve" method.....

My advice would be don't stress. My eldest went through a phase of only eating fish fingers, yogurt and chocolate for years. We were advised not to worry, he won't stave and "If he wants chocolate, give him chocolate". Basically a calorie is a calorie.

It can be so stressful though. One of my younger ones is now really picky and has been known to only have a slice of bread because he won't eat what I've cooked.
I've re-worked snack vs sitdown meal amounts of food now so they have a lot to eat when they get in from school, then a smaller portion for tea with a pudding, then they are allowed another snack after their bath. I found this takes the pressure off them and they seem to eat more over the course of a day. I'd also recommend carrying on getting them to try a new food item and really praising them for trying something even if they don't like it.

 

[Sayitso]

Any advice for picky eaters?
My 3 year old will 100% eat plain pasta.
Sausages, chips, waffles, chicken, nuggets, meatballs all stand a 50/50 chance of being eaten. Anything else not a chance.
I currently operate on a "go ahead and starve" method.....

No real advice, my oldest only ate ham sandwiches and custard creams, could never get any help, because he was never Ill, I gave up, I figured he wasn’t hungry eating those things, he’s 23 now and although still limited he does eat a few things like pizza, chicken, rice, and bacon.
if I had any advice it would be to pick your battles.

 

[mummy2under2]

My advice would be don't stress. My eldest went through a phase of only eating fish fingers, yogurt and chocolate for years. We were advised not to worry, he won't stave and "If he wants chocolate, give him chocolate". Basically a calorie is a calorie.

It can be so stressful though. One of my younger ones is now really picky and has been known to only have a slice of bread because he won't eat what I've cooked.
I've re-worked snack vs sitdown meal amounts of food now so they have a lot to eat when they get in from school, then a smaller portion for tea with a pudding, then they are allowed another snack after their bath. I found this takes the pressure off them and they seem to eat more over the course of a day. I'd also recommend carrying on getting them to try a new food item and really praising them for trying something even if they don't like it.

This sounds exactly like my eldest.
Hes the fussiest eater I've ever known. Currently surviving off custard, dry shreddies and bread.
He's very reluctant to try new foods and is hypersensitive so won't pick up or touch anything new or eat things that come from certain packets.
He's also non verbal but we're getting there slowly with communication.
Currently going through the headbanging stage, gets very frustrated when he can't communicate and bangs his head on walls, floors, cupboards... Anything really.
Awaiting an autism diagnosis, been on a waiting list since he was 16 months old for various things. OT, SALT, MENCAP... Just a drawn out process and bloody Corona hasn't helped at all.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

This sounds exactly like my eldest.
Hes the fussiest eater I've ever known. Currently surviving off custard, dry shreddies and bread.
He's very reluctant to try new foods and is hypersensitive so won't pick up or touch anything new or eat things that come from certain packets.
He's also non verbal but we're getting there slowly with communication.
Currently going through the headbanging stage, gets very frustrated when he can't communicate and bangs his head on walls, floors, cupboards... Anything really.
Awaiting an autism diagnosis, been on a waiting list since he was 16 months old for various things. OT, SALT, MENCAP... Just a drawn out process and bloody Corona hasn't helped at all.

I dread the sound of headbanging. Middle one used to do it as a toddler, the slate floor was his favourite place. He's done it a few times at school over the last year too.
Randomly my eldest has started doing it during meltdown, just in the last few months too.

I really hope things progress with the diagnosis for you soon. It's so slow at the best of times though. If it helps, when I last spoken to my son's Paed she said they are still working through the appointments as best they can.

Has anyone watched The A Word tonight? There was a line in it that made me spit my drink out. An autistic lad (Mark) had got a job and Paul asked him why he hadn't mentioned he was autistic. He replied that it's because he isn't anymore:

Paul: "and when did you realise this"?

Mark: "When I stopped banging my head off the wall and breaking my mum's furniture".

I've not laughed so much for ages.

Sorry if no one watches it and you have no clue what I'm on about!

 

[LittleMy]

I dread the sound of headbanging. Middle one used to do it as a toddler, the slate floor was his favourite place. He's done it a few times at school over the last year too.
Randomly my eldest has started doing it during meltdown, just in the last few months too.

I really hope things progress with the diagnosis for you soon. It's so slow at the best of times though. If it helps, when I last spoken to my son's Paed she said they are still working through the appointments as best they can.

Has anyone watched The A Word tonight? There was a line in it that made me spit my drink out. An autistic lad (Mark) had got a job and Paul asked him why he hadn't mentioned he was autistic. He replied that it's because he isn't anymore:

Paul: "and when did you realise this"?

Mark: "When I stopped banging my head off the wall and breaking my mum's furniture".

I've not laughed so much for ages.

Sorry if no one watches it and you have no clue what I'm on about!

I love The A Word. Just finished the third series tonight, it’s just so well made and very relatable.

My son used to head bang a lot when he was younger when he struggled with communication. He’s verbal now and rarely does it these days. One of his main stims is repeatedly cannonballing on the couch. He’s so active and can barely sit at peace for a minute. His little brother is the same, only he runs in circles mostly.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I love The A Word. Just finished the third series tonight, it’s just so well made and very relatable.

My son used to head bang a lot when he was younger when he struggled with communication. He’s verbal now and rarely does it these days. One of his main stims is repeatedly cannonballing on the couch. He’s so active and can barely sit at peace for a minute. His little brother is the same, only he runs in circles mostly.

Might sound daft but have you considered buying an exercise ball? Like birthing ball size. My friend has just bought one because she's due soon and her daughter with autism has half inched it, just loving life rolling back and forth.

ETA, I sobbed my way through every episode of the first series of A Word. It was like some sort of weird catharsis. It is very well written, so subtle in places.

 

[Devondoll]

Does anyone else have friends who are forever trying to self diagnose their kids? Honestly it boils my p*ss. Its all 'oh they had a meltdown over x,y,z'....no they had a tantrum because they didnt get their own way. Or 'they are obsessed with wearing this outfit' yes most kids go through a phase like that. I find it offensive when they try and compare their kids and 'diagnose' them. Theres so much more to autism than the stereotypical traits. I cant even discuss it with my cousin as she then repeats what I've said about my child but says her child is doing it

 

[mummy2under2]

I dread the sound of headbanging. Middle one used to do it as a toddler, the slate floor was his favourite place. He's done it a few times at school over the last year too.
Randomly my eldest has started doing it during meltdown, just in the last few months too.

I really hope things progress with the diagnosis for you soon. It's so slow at the best of times though. If it helps, when I last spoken to my son's Paed she said they are still working through the appointments as best they can.

Has anyone watched The A Word tonight? There was a line in it that made me spit my drink out. An autistic lad (Mark) had got a job and Paul asked him why he hadn't mentioned he was autistic. He replied that it's because he isn't anymore:

Paul: "and when did you realise this"?

Mark: "When I stopped banging my head off the wall and breaking my mum's furniture".

I've not laughed so much for ages.

Sorry if no one watches it and you have no clue what I'm on about!

Ahhh bloody hell, slate floor... Of all surfaces
Terrifies me sometimes, he knows his own strength but sometimes he shocks himself when he misjudges how hard he's banging.

Ahh that's reassuring, thank you.
Was thinking of calling them soon but don't want to bombard them.

 

[LittleMy]

Might sound daft but have you considered buying an exercise ball? Like birthing ball size. My friend has just bought one because she's due soon and her daughter with autism has half inched it, just loving life rolling back and forth.

ETA, I sobbed my way through every episode of the first series of A Word. It was like some sort of weird catharsis. It is very well written, so subtle in places.

Yeah, I still have my birthing ball from when I was pregnant with him. I had it out when pregnant with youngest and he loved it then. He used it more than I did

 

[mummy2under2]

Does anyone else have friends who are forever trying to self diagnose their kids? Honestly it boils my p*ss. Its all 'oh they had a meltdown over x,y,z'....no they had a tantrum because they didnt get their own way. Or 'they are obsessed with wearing this outfit' yes most kids go through a phase like that. I find it offensive when they try and compare their kids and 'diagnose' them. Theres so much more to autism than the stereotypical traits. I cant even discuss it with my cousin as she then repeats what I've said about my child but says her child is doing it

Yeah I've experienced this a lot.
Sorry your having the same battle.
Its tiring and draining sometimes.

There's a huge difference between meltdowns and tantrums and unless you're in the position of dealing with a child with additional needs, they really have no idea or way they can compare.
I honestly never knew how broad the spectrum was and how wide the traits and symptoms are.
I remember when my son was around 16months and I knew something wasn't quite right. I mentioned it to a friend but because he doesnt stereotypical stim at all, it was completely disregarded and I was 'overreacting'.
He does stim, but for him it's putting everything (but healthy food) in his mouth.

 

[LittleMy]

Does anyone else have friends who are forever trying to self diagnose their kids? Honestly it boils my p*ss. Its all 'oh they had a meltdown over x,y,z'....no they had a tantrum because they didnt get their own way. Or 'they are obsessed with wearing this outfit' yes most kids go through a phase like that. I find it offensive when they try and compare their kids and 'diagnose' them. Theres so much more to autism than the stereotypical traits. I cant even discuss it with my cousin as she then repeats what I've said about my child but says her child is doing it

I think those type of people are just looking for excuses for their children’s bad behaviour. I guess it’s easier to self diagnose than to admit you might’ve gone wrong somewhere as a parent. It is insulting though, because they really don’t know the half of it and you’re right, there’s more to it than the usual stereotypes everyone knows.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I've some how managed to avoid people who do this. I do have quite a few mates, probably a disproportionate number actually, who have children who are autistic (even ones who I knew from years ago before we even had children) as well as a few whose children have autistic traits but at a sub diagnosable level. I was at a birthday get together recently (Nov, pre Covid!!!) and out of ten of us, seven have children either diagnosed or in the middle of the diagnostic process.

 

[Sayitso]

Does anyone else have friends who are forever trying to self diagnose their kids? Honestly it boils my p*ss. Its all 'oh they had a meltdown over x,y,z'....no they had a tantrum because they didnt get their own way. Or 'they are obsessed with wearing this outfit' yes most kids go through a phase like that. I find it offensive when they try and compare their kids and 'diagnose' them. Theres so much more to autism than the stereotypical traits. I cant even discuss it with my cousin as she then repeats what I've said about my child but says her child is doing it

Or those ppl that say ‘ she doesn’t look autistic’ that drives me mad. And the staring when they are having a meltdown in public. ‘Oh you should be tougher’ ‘ooh if you don’t put a stop to that behaviour you’ll regret it when she’s over’
I’m quiet abrupt with ppl now if they say something when they say something, but yrs ago when it was my first I felt so bad and like I was being judged because I was @ young mum

 

[Staveyavb]

I messaged the teacher on Wednesday, told her I was really struggling with home schooling, how he seems to be afraid to even try doing anything for himself despite me telling him it doesn't matter if he gets it wrong.... She's been fabulous, told me not to worry about the school pack and then sent me a load of work sheets that will be easier for him to do and focus on letter and number formation.

 

[bexgreen1983]

Hi everyone, I have a 4 nearly 5 year old who has additional needs although nothing been diagnosed yet. She is behind as to where she should be for her age and we also have challenging behaviour from waking up super early to pinching / scratching and throwing things if she doesnt get her own way.

I'm finding lockdown extremely challenging as she just wants to do 0 school work so feeling like a bit of a failure

 

[Devondoll]

Hi everyone, I have a 4 nearly 5 year old who has additional needs although nothing been diagnosed yet. She is behind as to where she should be for her age and we also have challenging behaviour from waking up super early to pinching / scratching and throwing things if she doesnt get her own way.

I'm finding lockdown extremely challenging as she just wants to do 0 school work so feeling like a bit of a failure

Mines 8 and we have achieved less than 4 days worth of the work that's been set so far. Sometimes i only have to mention school work and he throws himself on the floor screaming. It ruins the day if we start with a meltdown and honestly I'm not dealing with it. I spoke to his teacher and she tries to be understanding, then turns around and says 'have you tried doing topic as well as english and maths?' Um no because we're struggling with just english and maths!!

He also lashes out, alot. Punching, kicking, hitting, biting etc. Its worse atm as he cant get away from his younger brother and I think they're sick of the sight of each other tbh. I'm just going with the flow right now as in about 6 weeks we're having another baby so that'll turn his life upside down too! At age 4/5 it's mostly learning through play anyway so I wouldn't stress about school work. Xx

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Hi everyone, I have a 4 nearly 5 year old who has additional needs although nothing been diagnosed yet. She is behind as to where she should be for her age and we also have challenging behaviour from waking up super early to pinching / scratching and throwing things if she doesnt get her own way.

I'm finding lockdown extremely challenging as she just wants to do 0 school work so feeling like a bit of a failure

You're not a failure!
It is so hard isn't it. Just concentrate on stuff like reading stories together. As Devon Doll said it's mainly learning through play at this age.
Have you got any sand or rice that you could draw letters in to practice them? Or transferring water between different containers to measure more/less?
I did an activity with my youngest (year 1) where he compared the weights of different toys. Anything that is more fun rather that obvious learning.

I know it's difficult to find the enthusiasm though, especially when you're not getting enough sleep. One of mine decided to get up to play at 2am the other day and woke two siblings up to join him . We are also having difficulty with challenging behaviours. My youngest one is hitting the others quite a bit, partly to deliberately wind them up. He's being rude and making random sqwarking noises in response to being asked to do anything, even simple things. It's very draining.

 

[marlaxo]

My little boy has just turned 5. We had a traumatic pregnancy and he was 3 1/2 month early and on oxygen til he was 18 months old. He has had a bad stammer and speech issues and we have finally now got support from a SALT team who visit him in school weekly (and have trained a TA to do daily activities with him). Since 3 1/2, we have also suspected autism and his preschool did too, and we were just starting the formal assessment process when lockdown started. He is struggling so much with home schooling so we basically havent done it. We ended up buying a printer and pretending that his teacher brought it round, and we print worksheets off and say that Miss S has just sent one through, but each time it just ends up with raging fits of tears, running off and hiding, and punching and kicking. He had a school fire drill in January and since then he has become hyper aware of fire alarms (every where we go, be it relatives, restaurants, shops) he has to know where the fire alarm is and asks us when i was last tested. It makes me so sad that it is always on his mind.