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cj_ii

Well-known member
I agree. I don’t think people actually have a problem with BF. It’s completely normal.

However I really find it uncomfortable when women post pics of them BF or do it in public. It’s awkward. I don’t want to see a strangers big veiny boob being flopped out. And I think that’s how others feel. It’s not that they think BF is wrong it’s the fact they don’t want to see it.
Seriously? It’s just a baby having a feed. Society has no problem with displaying breasts for a sexual nature but if they are used for the intended purpose it’s wrong. It’s hard enough being a new parent to get out and about without being shamed for the way we choose to feed our child? Would you rather all breastfeeding mothers stay indoors alone until the baby is weaned?
 
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AmberSpyglass

VIP Member
I have had 3 babies and breast feeding just didn’t work for me.

I had big bruisers ,9lbs+ and I couldn’t produce enough milk to satisfy any of them , bottle milk immediately satisfied and settled them after a week or so of hell.

Let’s face it , they all eat McDonalds and crap as teens regardless of breast or bottle.

Im really pro breastfeeding - fed my daughter until she was 2 and 13 months in with my son. What no one really tells you is the total exhaustion you will suffer feeding a new born baby every 2 hours around the clock. What I find really frustrating is the number of women I’ve met who seemingly just use “I didn’t produce enough milk” as an excuse. It’s supply and demand - the more you feed/express the more milk you make. Honestly in real life I’ve not even met a single mum who has actually been honest and has said I just didn’t want to breast feed as it’s always veiled with an excuse.
I find your comment a bit shit really, we’ve all been there feeding our babies all night, some of us found it harder than others.

I’m glad you weren’t my friend to tell me you found my ‘excuse’ was frustrating for you.
 
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LauzD

New member
BF is normalised though? The stigma is all in your head. It will never be normal (no matter how many celebs do it) to share a picture of you breastfeeding you baby.


Correct, some of us love the attention and some of us don’t. It’s definitely an excuse to get your tits out in social media 😂. BF has been happening for millions of years and couldn’t be any more normalised if it where trying to be.

I agree. I don’t think people actually have a problem with BF. It’s completely normal.

However I really find it uncomfortable when women post pics of them BF or do it in public. It’s awkward. I don’t want to see a strangers big veiny boob being flopped out. And I think that’s how others feel. It’s not that they think BF is wrong it’s the fact they don’t want to see it.
 
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MamaD

VIP Member
Fed is the minimum. Fed is best is the shittest line ever. Anyone can feed their baby how they want- but it’s scientific fact that breast milk is best. Sucked in by advertising bottles they are lapping it up.
Wow! I know exactly the kind of person you are by that comment. Carry on with your Mum shaming. Your attitude is exactly why some Mums suffer from PND. You almost sound like a health visitor who has no compassion.
 
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BettyCrocker

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Im really pro breastfeeding - fed my daughter until she was 2 and 13 months in with my son. What no one really tells you is the total exhaustion you will suffer feeding a new born baby every 2 hours around the clock. What I find really frustrating is the number of women I’ve met who seemingly just use “I didn’t produce enough milk” as an excuse. It’s supply and demand - the more you feed/express the more milk you make. Honestly in real life I’ve not even met a single mum who has actually been honest and has said I just didn’t want to breast feed as it’s always veiled with an excuse.
You are out of line. Some of us actually DIDNT produce enough milk. It’s not excuse.
You feed your kids as you see fit, you are lucky that your body is doing what you want it to do. Some of us just can’t. No excuses- just bad luck.
As long as the baby is fed and healthy who cares?
I’d rather a fed, healthy, happy baby and a happy mum than an exhausted mother who’s getting broken sleep due to the pressure of feeling like she has to breast feed because god forbid she doesn’t want to/chooses not to/isn’t able to.
There are a million more other more important things to worry about than sodding breast feeding. Honestly! 🤷🏼‍♀️
 
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Chinese_whispers

VIP Member
I agree. I don’t think people actually have a problem with BF. It’s completely normal.

However I really find it uncomfortable when women post pics of them BF or do it in public. It’s awkward. I don’t want to see a strangers big veiny boob being flopped out. And I think that’s how others feel. It’s not that they think BF is wrong it’s the fact they don’t want to see it.
Would you eat your dinner in the toilet?
 
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Definitelyme

VIP Member
I agree. I don’t think people actually have a problem with BF. It’s completely normal.

However I really find it uncomfortable when women post pics of them BF or do it in public. It’s awkward. I don’t want to see a strangers big veiny boob being flopped out. And I think that’s how others feel. It’s not that they think BF is wrong it’s the fact they don’t want to see it.
If they don’t want to see it they don’t have to look. I don’t want to see ignorant twats in public, but they are everywhere clearly. So I’ll just use the power of moving my eyes to not look at them. If you don’t want to see a strangers “big veiny boob” then stop bloody looking! If I’m offended by someone’s face I don’t ask them to cover it up just because I don’t like it. I just look away!
Let’s remember a woman’s right to breastfeed is protected by law, and nowhere does it say she has to cover up.
 
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Suzesnooze

VIP Member
Honestly for me it’s felt like the opposite, that I’m almost embarrassed to say I breastfeed, as there’s so much on social media etc emphasising how we have to stop guilting those who choose (or don’t have any other choice) to formula feed and it doesn’t matter etc. It feels like it’s swung the other way. Too emotive a subject it seems to be neutral.
I agree. I never see any support in the media for breastfeeding it’s all negative comments on the subject.

I was attempting to breastfeed my firstborn after the birth when a midwife came in and said ‘I’ve got people complaining about your baby crying, can I give it a bottle’. I found that so upsetting. I refused and said no I wanted to breastfeed.

Second child I was the only one on a ward of 6 who was breastfeeding. They used to stare at me feeding as if I was a freak. One asked ‘but how do you know when the baby is full’? I was asked by my Health Visitor to attend her baby group and help her promote breast feeding as I live in a deprived area where breastfeeding is uncommon.

I told my sister in law I was going to breastfeed. She had bottle fed and so pulled a face. I said ‘didn’t you want to try breastfeeding’ she said ‘urgh no, it’s disgusting’!
 
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AmberSpyglass

VIP Member
I don't "lecture"just because I have a different opinion , I'm stating facts and expressing misunderstanding at why people don't chose to give babies the best.
And horror at opinions like yours which are damaging.
My needs are certainly not being met - no sleep or time to myself, but it is a worthy sacrifice to give my baby the best start. His needs come first.


Giving the baby the best also includes the baby having a happy mum who isn’t mentally and physically stressed.

Breast or bottle feeding is just one small aspect of raising a happy healthy child whichever method is chosen.
 
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Definitelyme

VIP Member
No one actually said it shouldn't be done in public, nor that women should cover up.
I think it's pretty obvious that what was meant was that just like people have to accept that it's something natural which happens without a schedule, it is also ok to not feel comfortable with it.
Have you thought that maybe this whole speech also affects women who do want to cover up? There are clothe lines which have extra flaps so that women can comfortably breastfeed in public because guess what: lots of them don't want to have their boob out in public, but also don't want to go to the bathroom or something.

This is supposed to be a dialogue where people listen to both sides.
No one said babies shouldn't eat, and it's not fair to compare it to eating with a blanket on your head. I understand both sides, and when I see a woman breastfeeding, I actually find it very endearing and sweet (no, I don't stare. but sometimes it's just right in front of you). But I also understand that some people (both mothers and non-mothers) do feel uncomfortable.
But people don’t have to say they are uncomfortable. If you are, just don’t look and move on. I really don’t understand why there is even a discussion around it as if anyone’s opinion, other than that of the feeding mother, actually is important. You said in a previous post there has to be a middle ground. No, there absolutely doesn’t. If I want to flap both boobs out and adorn them with diamantés to breastfeed my baby in public, I will because NOBODY ELSE’S OPINION MATTERS. If that makes people uncomfortable, that is their issue. By saying we have to acknowledge some people are uncomfortable it implies that a bf mother is in some way responsible for other people’s feelings. It’s crap.
The only thing a bf mother is responsible for is ensuring she and her baby are happy. We owe nothing to anyone but ourself and our baby.

If I were a small minded idiot I might find it uncomfortable to see people with a disability. Does that give me the right to say it? Nope.
If I were a small minded idiot I might find it uncomfortable to see people with blonde hair. Does that give me the right to say it? Nope.
If I were a small minded idiot I might find it uncomfortable seeing same sex couples holding hands in public. Does that give me the right to say it? Nope.

See where I’m going here? We don’t have any right to voice our discomfort over what someone else chooses to do with their body. If you don’t like it, that’s absolutely fine! You don’t have to! It’s not you doing it!

It all comes back to the issue that when a woman gets pregnant she becomes public property. People think they have a right to discuss her body and her choices.

And anyone who says “I support breastfeeding BUT…” doesn’t really support breastfeeding at all.
 
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Good routine? Freya shouldn’t need feeding in the night at her age. I have twins who have slept through from 5-6 months. Dream feed yes, but she absolutely does not need feeding in the night at her age and size.
Fake news. 🙄 Babies, especially breastfed, may still need/want feeding at night at this age. I mean, great for you that yours didn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️ but other babies might so stop making other mothers feel like they’re doing something wrong.
 
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😴😴😴😴😴😴 "ignorant" or not, Hun. Its my opinion, to which I am entitled without a boring lecture from you. Perhaps Mumsnet would suit you better?? Off you toddle now xx
So it's your opinion that as soon as a baby gets teeth it's primary and the best source of nutrition on this planet for him should be removed and replaced with a below par alternative?? 🤔
Educate yourself.

😴😴😴😴😴😴 "ignorant" or not, Hun. Its my opinion, to which I am entitled without a boring lecture from you. Perhaps Mumsnet would suit you better?? Off you toddle now xx
You are of course entitled to your own opinion but this one is probably best kept to yourself, it's embarrassing.
 
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Loevly

Active member
Just because she did at the start doesn’t mean she would be able to for longer. I hate these posts debating what type of feeding she’s doing. It’s no ones business but hers. And that’s coming from someone who finds it very annoying and rude when someone asks if I’m bf. What’s it got to do with anyone
Honestly, no one cares if she breastfed or not. The point is, she’s a liar. Contradicts herself all the time.
 
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Foobar

Member
Honestly for me it’s felt like the opposite, that I’m almost embarrassed to say I breastfeed, as there’s so much on social media etc emphasising how we have to stop guilting those who choose (or don’t have any other choice) to formula feed and it doesn’t matter etc. It feels like it’s swung the other way. Too emotive a subject it seems to be neutral.
 
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Gillybean42

VIP Member
She said something about “can’t breastfeed”? Funny that, she said a while back that she breastfed for the first 5 weeks 🤔
 
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MrsD33

VIP Member
Whatever she chooses feeding wise I hope it’s not gonna put too much pressure on her cult to do the same (ie feeling like a bad mum if they can’t breastfeed should she choose that)
IMO she should keep how she’s feeding him private. There’s no need at all to share that unless she’s making money out of it 🤷🏽‍♀️
 
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Foobar

Member
What I find unnecessary here is this insinuation that because someone chooses to breastfeed that they’re some sort of hippy dippy earth mother who will co sleep and breastfeed till their kids are teenagers etc. 🙄

I had trouble at first and it was a really emotional issue so I can understand why mothers might keep trying even if to outsiders it might seem ‘selfish’. I did end up giving some formula in hospital as my baby had a medical requirement but I kept trying to feed as well and it worked out. But if it hadn’t I would have just used formula. Just my own strong preference was to breastfeed if I could as to me it’s pretty cool that our bodies can do that.
 
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CatHun

VIP Member
No, she shouldn’t just give up and put Grey on a bottle because she’s finding it difficult and it’s comments and views like that which result in the low breastfeeding rates in the UK. Breastfeeding can be difficult, it can be agony, it’s tiring and it’s all on YOU. Good on her for continuing even though it’s difficult, she’s had mastitis in the first month and I’ve been there (7 times now actually) and the pain is horrific, I’d rather have the pain of labour than mastitis tbh. So, please stop putting her down over her feeding choices, it’s unnecessary.
A million times this!!

The lack of support in the uk is laughable and comments like ‘just put her on the bottle’ are exactly why the rates are so low.

Breastfeeding is hard, nobody shows you how to do it, no classes can prepare you and there is nobody there in the middle of the night to support you. I’ve had mastitis too, and agree I’d rather give birth again than have that, the pain was unreal.

As for the question why do you do it if it’s so hard? Because it’s by far the best thing you can do for your baby. Simple as that. If it’s not your choice to breastfeed then it’s not your choice and that’s completely up to you and to be honest I can see why people give up, it’s really really difficult.

I agree with the other poster, I’m stubborn and I wanted to breastfeed him and was determined to make it work. One day it just clicks and it’s the easiest thing in the world.
 
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M

Member 4330

Guest
Out of personal interest, not for those who can’t breastfeed or have tried to and it didn’t work out, what would be the reasons that made your decision to formula feed before you baby has been born?
Agree with the comment above me. I just didn’t want to... the thought of it made me feel really uncomfortable and that’s the only way I could describe it.

Also after going through a tough pregnancy, I felt like it was my body and I wanted it back / wanted to feel myself again. My mum bottle fed five of us and we’re all grown up and healthy - maybe that was on my mind 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
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CarrotTop87

Chatty Member
I’m part of the fed is best crew but advertising baby formula is a no (I’m also not a fan of pushy midwives/mums who make any mum who can’t/doesn’t want to breastfeed feel like a failure). In fact I wish all baby mums would keep their kids feeding/nappy schedule off Facebook/insta. Too much over sharing on what should be private moments!
Fed is the minimum. Fed is best is the shittest line ever. Anyone can feed their baby how they want- but it’s scientific fact that breast milk is best. Sucked in by advertising bottles they are lapping it up.
 
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