Tbh 3-5 is as good an age as you can get for these things to happen. They grow up with it being very normal for their parents living separately and in the case of a 3 year old will likely not actually remember parents living together after a little while, unlike say a 12 year old who will have more memories of living with both parents and more cognisant of what's going on. 'This is our house now' etc is perfect, if asked why then just something like 'Mum and Dad aren't happy living together anymore' is fine, not putting the blame on either parent (as difficult as that might be where cheating is involved). Try to keep routines the same in each home to avoid unsettling them, reassure if child starts asking e.g. 'does Daddy not love me anymore' that it isn't about them and ensure quality time with Dad.
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Stupidly, I took him back after this.
But once again, I'm now done- and for good this time. I feel mostly relief but also very sad even though I know it's the right decision.
I've gone through so much difficulty in the last few months and he's been on the periphery rather than supporting me.
I feel like I've been having a relationship with myself. I've got a lot going on at the moment and the last straw was me texting him and him taking about a week to reply, only to be like 'yeah yeah I'm here'.
No, you do not get to do that to me
I started this thread last July and this is exactly my feeling too, even now 6 months later! It won't feel like it now but I promise, you get so much clarity once you're apart and it makes you realise how tit their behaviour has been once you have some distance.
Not every day is easy but I promise it gets better
I agree. I'm six months post split too and I initially thought I'd never recover but it does get better. You just need the time, that's the only healer.xxI started this thread last July and this is exactly my feeling too, even now 6 months later! It won't feel like it now but I promise, you get so much clarity once you're apart and it makes you realise how tit their behaviour has been once you have some distance.
Not every day is easy but I promise it gets better
Awwww Queen Amber! Thank you so much - yes I re-read your post the other day. Thank you so much for the support and encouragement.I started this thread last July and this is exactly my feeling too, even now 6 months later! It won't feel like it now but I promise, you get so much clarity once you're apart and it makes you realise how tit their behaviour has been once you have some distance.
Not every day is easy but I promise it gets better
It's not the worst I've ever felt after a breakup. Taking it very easy.
Thank you very much! My friends have been rallying round. Glad to hear things are getting better for you xxx
This is how I feel about myself and I have been terrified recently of staying a shell of myself forever.
That's why I made the decision to let go.
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My fiance broke up with me on Sunday. We have been having a hard time for a while now and I have been struggling with my mental health and he has been quite unsupportive despite me moving mountains to help him when he was down and that was right at the start of our relationship. Now we are 2.5 years in and it's too much for him to help me out. I feel lost. I feel like a failure. I feel numb. He said he will call me at the weekend and we will talk but I just don't know what to think. Is there a chance we can reconcile and try to make it work or is he just going to call me and say its definitely over. I feel even worse because we have a really expensive holiday booked on my credit card for April and if we can't reconcile I either have to think about selling the holiday, or I could go with a friend but I will be out of pocket £1200 which is his share and i would just feel misersble knowing that I should have been there with him.
I feel like my life is in such a mess ans i just dont know how to feel better. I know time heals but its so hard when things go from everything you ever wanted to so hard and difficult in a short space of time and then you're trying to cling on and make it work but i feel like i was the only one trying.
He said im the best thing that ever happened to him and i am an amazing woman but he thinks to break up is the best because im not happy. If i was so amazing he wouldn't be leaving me. He would be trying with me tk fix things.
I feel like my life is in such a mess ans i just dont know how to feel better. I know time heals but its so hard when things go from everything you ever wanted to so hard and difficult in a short space of time and then you're trying to cling on and make it work but i feel like i was the only one trying.
He said im the best thing that ever happened to him and i am an amazing woman but he thinks to break up is the best because im not happy. If i was so amazing he wouldn't be leaving me. He would be trying with me tk fix things.
Correction: If HE was amazing he wouldn’t be leaving you. He’s not trying to fix things because he thinks he can’t. He’s not willing to be there for you. maybe he thinks it’s him making you unhappy but to give up without trying to change that? No one can make you happy but someone can make you unhappy.
Truth is fixing things takes both parties but if he’s not willing to meet you half way then that’s on him, not you.
Ah so he's doing you a favour by braking up with you? ... To make you happy?
. Honestly what a coward. You know what they say.. of you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best.
You need someone you can depend on, who will catch you when you fall. Sounds like you have done all the heavy lifting and keep having to do it when it's his turn.
Can you not get a refund on the holiday?
I hope you feel better X
This is a strange on and to be honest I’ve told him I don’t want him back in that way. He’s deleted me/blocked me of everything he had me on but occasionally would unblock me on WhatsApp. He’s added my mate on Snapchat and she’s intentionally posted pics of me and sent them to him to see if he would remove her but keeps her and asks about me. If i message it’s ingnored and then i get blocked about. It’s obvious he’s still with his girlfriend. This has been the pattern the last 18 months.
anyway I’ve had the worse week of my life a shocking family bereavement similar to one that happened years ago to someone I was very close too and then I was involved in a crash and it’s really getting to me how emotional I’ve been and how out of nowhere all I want to do is message him over it for comfort I know it’s wrong and I know I should I’m literally forcing myself not to but all I want is to just talk to him after all this
anyway I’ve had the worse week of my life a shocking family bereavement similar to one that happened years ago to someone I was very close too and then I was involved in a crash and it’s really getting to me how emotional I’ve been and how out of nowhere all I want to do is message him over it for comfort I know it’s wrong and I know I should I’m literally forcing myself not to but all I want is to just talk to him after all this
I know. It is just really sad for me right now. I thought I'd found my forever.
I have checked and it looks like I possibly can cancel the holiday if needed and just lose a percentage of what was paid so that is better than the other options I was thinking. I hope we can somehow figure things out though and go and have an amazing time together on holiday. I'm trying not to get my hopes up because it will only hurt me more in the end if I do and it doesn't pan out how I want.
Thanks for your kind words. Hopefully I will feel better soon one way or another.
Struggling a bit today. Feel sad that this is really the end. I haven't actually spoken to him about it...one of my friends is of the view that I needn't bother and that just as he ignores me and treats me as an inconvenience, I should and can do the same. I can't bear to have a conversation where I tell him how hurt I am and how he doesn't care only to have him basically agree with that and reinforce that he really doesn't want me at all.
I genuinely don't understand how some people can carry on a relationship they're not into - especially when the other person is so obviously in love with them. I have only dumped a couple of people in my life and while it was awful and traumatic, I did it as soon as I started having doubts as I couldn't have lived with myself to carry it on just for sex or whatever.
I feel numb and exhausted.
I genuinely don't understand how some people can carry on a relationship they're not into - especially when the other person is so obviously in love with them. I have only dumped a couple of people in my life and while it was awful and traumatic, I did it as soon as I started having doubts as I couldn't have lived with myself to carry it on just for sex or whatever.
I feel numb and exhausted.
We spoke a bit today after the dust had settled. I wanted to end things on positive terms as I really did (do) love him and felt it was important to acknowledge that. I've realised from previous breakups that carrying around anger is really unhelpful and really corrosive. One of my friends has been great at creating space for me to just vent and air my thoughts but a couple of others were like "Noooo he's done you dirrrtttyyyy"... and I'm like - that's just not true. He may not have done the 'right' thing but I have to accept that I may not have done either by not taking him at his word because he did say that it could never be more than it was (I just felt his actions said different.)
I'm trying to go with my gut now at all times and it felt so wrong not to end it by reiterating how much we did mean to each other so I am glad we both took that mature approach.
It's about accepting that we were both responsible and we have both acknowledged our part - him in that he could have seen things more from my point of view and I his. The lesson is definitely to communicate better in future and to really listen to what the other person says they want/desire. I feel totally broken and exhausted and ill and sad. I know it takes time but I just wish I didn't feel like this.
I'm trying to go with my gut now at all times and it felt so wrong not to end it by reiterating how much we did mean to each other so I am glad we both took that mature approach.
It's about accepting that we were both responsible and we have both acknowledged our part - him in that he could have seen things more from my point of view and I his. The lesson is definitely to communicate better in future and to really listen to what the other person says they want/desire. I feel totally broken and exhausted and ill and sad. I know it takes time but I just wish I didn't feel like this.