Books #36

[Foxvint]

Really enjoying this. It's not surprising he can write about the lives of gay men so well but I'm awed he can write middle aged women so well. He's gorgeous on mums & sons and the assumptions made around generational divides too.

 

[LaBlonde]

Really enjoying this. It's not surprising he can write about the lives of gay men so well but I'm awed he can write middle aged women so well. He's gorgeous on mums & sons and the assumptions made around generational divides too.

picked this up over the weekend and really
looking forward to reading it! glad you’re enjoying

i’m reading what is sure to be one of my favourite reads of the year - the great believers by rebecca makkai. so far, an absolute emotional knockout of a book that i keep having to put down because i need to take a breath while reading it.

 

[ToxicPony]

No. Books and book shops should be temples of critical thinking. The patronising tiptoe approach to difficult subjects does us all a disservice. We're all alive today because our ancestors suffered unimaginable difficulties so we can definitely handle uncomfortable texts that agitate against our values. Humans are wonderfully resilient. Trigger warnings spilled over from academia, they shouldn't be adopted by publishing. Just avoid a book if you're not up to a particular subject.

Of course you're entitled to your own opinion here, but I'm curious as to what you think trigger warnings ARE, if not a way to help people avoid the book like you say?

For full disclosure, my personal interest in trigger warnings relates to my own OCD. OCD is one of many mental health conditions, in this case incurable, that can be severely triggered and leave someone spiralling for months in a pit of debilitating mental health issues. For example, I spent months barely able to sleep or eat because I came across an episode of television relating to rabies, one of my personal triggers. Now I'm not suggesting books should have trigger warnings for rabies - it's far too specific and we can't set up the whole world for one person to never come across it. But broad and known to be very commonly upsetting topics like suicide or child loss? I just don't see why not to do that.

 

[LydiaDeetzHat]

Of course you're entitled to your own opinion here, but I'm curious as to what you think trigger warnings ARE, if not a way to help people avoid the book like you say?

For full disclosure, my personal interest in trigger warnings relates to my own OCD. OCD is one of many mental health conditions, in this case incurable, that can be severely triggered and leave someone spiralling for months in a pit of debilitating mental health issues. For example, I spent months barely able to sleep or eat because I came across an episode of television relating to rabies, one of my personal triggers. Now I'm not suggesting books should have trigger warnings for rabies - it's far too specific and we can't set up the whole world for one person to never come across it. But broad and known to be very commonly upsetting topics like suicide or child loss? I just don't see why not to do that.

My goodness.. i was once chased by a dog that had rabies as a child but I'm with the OP here.. Also a grape victim.. Life goes on . Stuff happens and when i grew up we didnt have these trigger warnings all the time. As humans we all have memories and things that remind us of other things. it's a part of every day life, I don't have months of sleepless nights or completely break down because books and films are not real. Everything reminds us of something else , we simply cannot avoid everything all the time.. I get sad every time i see mention of NY for example because it makes me miss my partner who lives there. All manner of things cause me pain because it reminds me of my childhood and how I have had everything in my past thrown away by my family. It makes me cry for a second and i move on. It's important to learn how to deal with feelings - all kinds of feelings. I think any therapist would say that.

Also surely I can't be the only one who finds that with some topics like grief etc its good and helpful to read about it and others experiences of it in fiction and non fiction because it makes you realise you are not alone..

Also if you do think anything might trigger you, we have the internet and it's pretty easy to look up things like films or books if you think they might upset you.

Probably used bad examples here n i do get the feeling my point isnt coming across well. OP put it very well iMo.

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

Of course you're entitled to your own opinion here, but I'm curious as to what you think trigger warnings ARE, if not a way to help people avoid the book like you say?

For full disclosure, my personal interest in trigger warnings relates to my own OCD. OCD is one of many mental health conditions, in this case incurable, that can be severely triggered and leave someone spiralling for months in a pit of debilitating mental health issues. For example, I spent months barely able to sleep or eat because I came across an episode of television relating to rabies, one of my personal triggers. Now I'm not suggesting books should have trigger warnings for rabies - it's far too specific and we can't set up the whole world for one person to never come across it. But broad and known to be very commonly upsetting topics like suicide or child loss? I just don't see why not to do that.

I agree with you. It can be cause for a mental health spiral for me. So Ive not to read ever because I should just be resilient?

People can be recovering from eating disorders, suicide attempts or anything. The same way
recovering alcoholics often cant enter a pub I think it makes sense to know if a book is going to cover a triggering topic for you.

Of course not everything can be covered and I don't think anyone is pretend or insinuating it could be.

Edit - its not about pain, its about self harm and the consequences of a trigger. If you dont need a trigger warning, ignore it. I cannot see why you'd begrudge someone else it.

It also does not correlate to a reader being unable to do any sort of critical thinking. They are two separate paths.

 

[Pinkii]

WTH book is this so I don't read it

Daddy’s little toy

She tried to defend the book by saying the romance part was all consensual as the girl was older by the time romance started but the premise is disgusting.

 

[LydiaDeetzHat]

Daddy’s little toy

She tried to defend the book by saying the romance part was all consensual as the girl was older by the time romance started but the premise is disgusting.

my lord who greenlit that one??

 

[Pinkii]

my lord who greenlit that one??

no idea, potentially self launched?, luckily its been removed from amazon and good reads now.

 

[LaBlonde]

Of course you're entitled to your own opinion here, but I'm curious as to what you think trigger warnings ARE, if not a way to help people avoid the book like you say?

For full disclosure, my personal interest in trigger warnings relates to my own OCD. OCD is one of many mental health conditions, in this case incurable, that can be severely triggered and leave someone spiralling for months in a pit of debilitating mental health issues. For example, I spent months barely able to sleep or eat because I came across an episode of television relating to rabies, one of my personal triggers. Now I'm not suggesting books should have trigger warnings for rabies - it's far too specific and we can't set up the whole world for one person to never come across it. But broad and known to be very commonly upsetting topics like suicide or child loss? I just don't see why not to do that.

i completely agree. also an ocd sufferer here and also have very niche personal triggers that could never possible be covered in a list. BUT i can’t see how anyone would begrudge a page covering broader and more common triggers at the front of a book ESPECIALLY if it’s not clear from a synopsis. let people make an informed decision then. if you don’t want to read the list then skip it

i’m thinking in particular of lessons in chemistry here which has a very brutal assault scene at the start that isn’t signposted or made clear in the synopsis. i remember thinking then that there should have been a trigger warning, given how completely unexpected it was in how the book was marketed, how the cover looked etc.

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

I’ve enjoyed reading the different thoughts about TWs. I think it’s interesting to point out - as it’s my point that sparked it - this is the description for The Wedding People on Goodreads. Nothing on that would say that it has themes of suicide or child loss . It’s definitely things I didn’t expect in it which is simply why I mentioned it in case another reader wanted to avoid.

 

[anniemouse]

Daddy’s little toy

She tried to defend the book by saying the romance part was all consensual as the girl was older by the time romance started but the premise is disgusting.

Even that title is sick

 

[ToxicPony]

My goodness.. i was once chased by a dog that had rabies as a child but I'm with the OP here.. Also a grape victim.. Life goes on . Stuff happens and when i grew up we didnt have these trigger warnings all the time. As humans we all have memories and things that remind us of other things. it's a part of every day life, I don't have months of sleepless nights or completely break down because books and films are not real. Everything reminds us of something else , we simply cannot avoid everything all the time.. I get sad every time i see mention of NY for example because it makes me miss my partner who lives there. All manner of things cause me pain because it reminds me of my childhood and how I have had everything in my past thrown away by my family. It makes me cry for a second and i move on. It's important to learn how to deal with feelings - all kinds of feelings. I think any therapist would say that.

Also surely I can't be the only one who finds that with some topics like grief etc its good and helpful to read about it and others experiences of it in fiction and non fiction because it makes you realise you are not alone..

Also if you do think anything might trigger you, we have the internet and it's pretty easy to look up things like films or books if you think they might upset you.

Probably used bad examples here n i do get the feeling my point isnt coming across well. OP put it very well iMo.

I respect your opinion and experiences totally and am sorry to hear of the things you've gone through in the past. I think we're talking about different things though. I won't keep writing essays but for me 'trigger' is distinct from 'something that upsets you' and it's hard to explain if you don't have them.

 

[Brightlycolouredbowels]

my lord who greenlit that one??

The editor was getting an awful lot of abuse but then came out and said the author had left out parts of the book when it was sent for editing or something similar. I googled it at the time when the tit first hit the fan because a lot of people on socials were talking about the ‘DLT book disaster’ and I was trying to find out what they were talking about. I’m guessing it was self published and the author hired an editor themselves. No publisher would ever dare, surely.

 

[Brightlycolouredbowels]

Thank you @Caffeine Fiend @Booklover @anniemouse @AllieBee @SaintLeo @mindlessness for your suggestions for my Book Club books. They are always so impressed with the variety of suggestions I have. I always let them know that you’ve all helped me!

I love the Rosie Clarke shelf pic @Hannahebee do you think we could post more shelf pics on here? Love a pic of someone’s shelf or book pile!

 

[ToxicPony]

Back on topic, I just finished Butcher and Blackbird and I need to remember that I am nearly 36 and stop trying to read what the cool youths are into.

 

[CommentBelow]

i completely agree. also an ocd sufferer here and also have very niche personal triggers that could never possible be covered in a list. BUT i can’t see how anyone would begrudge a page covering broader and more common triggers at the front of a book ESPECIALLY if it’s not clear from a synopsis. let people make an informed decision then. if you don’t want to read the list then skip it

i’m thinking in particular of lessons in chemistry here which has a very brutal assault scene at the start that isn’t signposted or made clear in the synopsis. i remember thinking then that there should have been a trigger warning, given how completely unexpected it was in how the book was marketed, how the cover looked etc.

I think the expected element is key in this trigger discussion.

I wouldn’t say I have any triggers but imagine being blindsided by something is 10x worse.

One of my friends tends to use me as any anti anxiety plot canary - it helps she doesn’t mind spoilers - but has oftened messaged to ask if I think she’ll be ok with something on her TBR. Often she’ll still read the book because she can cope better when she’s expecting XYZ.

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

Back on topic, I just finished Butcher and Blackbird and I need to remember that I am nearly 36 and stop trying to read what the cool youths are into.

Was the ice cream a step too far?

 

[CommentBelow]

Back on topic, I just finished Butcher and Blackbird and I need to remember that I am nearly 36 and stop trying to read what the cool youths are into.

I was thinking similarly about Silver Elite.. my hand was reaching to it in Foyles the other day but stopped myself after a moment of ‘I am not gen z, I read divergent when it came out etc’.

 

[ordinaryjelly]

I went from being fully mobile to paraplegic in the space of 24 hours. For a while I was in a real woe is me phase, I couldn't read anything that was about disabilities/disabled people. That is my issue and I own it. I certainly wouldn't expect to be mollycoddled by a book seller. And where do you draw the line? I was dive bombed by a seagull for my chips on Bournemouth beach when I was 8, we are now well over 30 years later and I remember it clearly. Can we please get a seagull trigger warning?

I think people need to take personal responsibility and if you are triggered by xyz there are a lot of self help strategies that you can have in the background to help you through a tricky situation, paced breathing, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 5 minute feelings and so on.

Being triggered is horrible, but equally we are all unique with our own set of triggers. Just for Tattlers alone Waterstones have written 16 postcards for one book.

 

[LaBlonde]

Back on topic, I just finished Butcher and Blackbird and I need to remember that I am nearly 36 and stop trying to read what the cool youths are into.

this was me reading binding 13 if that tiny girl had fallen into one more muddy puddle i was out. still intend to read the rest of the series

i also just finished our infinite fates this week and felt much the same. too old for this nonsense.