BF Query

Caffeine Fiend said:

We have separate finances, no joint accounts at all, but I know how much my partners salary is.

I think its v weird that 4 years in you have absolutely no idea about his finances at all?!? Its not a new relationship. Are there really people out there living together who hide their salary from each otherm

Who pays if you go out for food or an activity? Does his contribution cover his share of the utilities / tv subscriptions etc and food?

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standupsitdown said:

Does he have a strong minded nature? Maybe it’s a stubbornness/control thing. As in the more he senses you want to know, the more determined he becomes to hide it from you.

Either way it’s not cool, you’re kind of in a catch 22 - if you insist you look nosey and interfering (which you’re not), if you keep your mouth shut it will eat away and damage your relationship.

Maybe you could insist on an honesty meeting - you bring your financial info and he brings his. Explain the openness and transparency is important to you. That seems fair and reasonable. You’re not demanding to read his diary, phone or internet history after all. If you love someone you comply with what matters to them, surely?

If he refuses I would reconsider your relationship.

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BallsBurst said:

If he had a strong minded nature I'd nearly understand. He literally is happy for me to organise absolutely everything between us. I know there is assertive men out there but this guy couldn't be any more laid back.
I really don't think he will ever volunteer this information and although I don't think it's something worth breaking up over its obviously at the back of my my mind thinking what is it he's not telling me. When I asked him his answer is 'I tell you everything'. When I reply 'no you dont' his response is 'what do i not tell you'. 'I don't know what you don't tell me dude' it goes round and round until the next time

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BettyCrockerr said:

Just ask him outright - ask him what he earns, ask him what he saves, ask him if he’s in any debt, ask him if he’s worried about money etc

i can tell you now - he’s trying to keep something from you.

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