Below Deck #5 ⚓️

[BeachBaby]

What a tosspot joe is. He was the one saying "I haven't felt like this in 7 years" "I want you to meet my family" blah blah blah all while V was thinking it was not serious and totally suckering her in. Within hours of V going, he was snogging Jizzy.
Then he had the gaul to say "we weren't in a relationship" "you obviously wanted more from this than me".
Jizzy has been through every man on the boat apart from the chef so enjoy those sloppy seconds joe. (And very possibly HSV).

 

[Pollie]

Can’t stand Mike or Alessia. Hope they both go.

 

[BoPeeps78]

Im seriously so over Mike. He needs to grow TF up. Lying to the primary? Causing drama between everyone, refusing to do what Daisy or Jenna have asked? Like come on man.....if you don't want to be a stew, then don't take a position as deck/stew.

 

[Louanne]

Absolute shit-show of a season. Struggled to find even one crew member who was likeable throughout the whole thing.

 

[Restless Native]

Lara moaning about the 7 course dinner. They asked for it on their preference sheet !

 

[Offish]

It all just feels so “off” so far. Feels like it’s way too fake now.

Yea I’ve got to be honest, I’m so close to giving up on this series and I don’t know if I’ve ever actually DNFd a series of below deck! Ellie is a cunt and I can’t bear her gurning face and shrieking voice, Alesia is a brat, Ben doesn’t have his daft sparkle, he’s just sad and everyone else is dull as ditchwater. I was at least holding out for Joao the bellend getting his kit off but alas, we’re lacking there too.
Ps Mike isn’t straight. Not sure if he’s lying to himself or to everyone else but I simply do not believe that man is interested in women.

 

[raindropsroses]

Kizzi is a mean girl, and intimidated by Cathy being a better, more experienced stew than her. Not telling Kathy she’d split her zipper was just nasty. I’m glad Josh told her.

 

[squacksquack]

Kathy and Aesha have the measure of Kizzy. She’s absolutely desperate for male validation, she doesn’t care who from. Also, did anyone else notice the chef massaging Kathy’s feet in the car? I think he seems sweet, not sure why no one seems interested in him at all.

I freaking loved how Aesha read her straight away. She’s kooky but she has her head screwed on right.

 

[jenmarks]

I think Kizzy is actually just vile. I imagine she's getting trolled a fair amount after all of her behaviour on the show.

 

[Restless Native]

Fair play to Jenna cos Eddy was dull as fuck on that date.
Ellie is deluded but Joao properly ballsed it up.
Alesia and Mike both need to go, pair of useless, arrogant, self-centred twats.

She likes Ben cos he has

 

[Lovemylists]

When she launched herself at him! If it had been the other way round - Ellie in bed being cornered by Joao - if it was a male plonking himself down, cornering a woman - it’d be seen as sexual harassment. If that makes sense. So aggressive.

And did anyone notice she looked up to see where the camera was first?? It would have been so different if it was a fella!! They would have been ruined!!
I never liked Ellie previously. She was obsessed with her being “2nd Stew” and liked fo feel important! She might be a good worker but she is never done complaining!!! Just get on with it FFS!!
Love Ben and I can see he is struggling. Hope he makes it to the end ok I’m Irish so I’m used to pet names and use them abit myself

 

[Offish]

I always feel for the deck/stew they always seem to be pulled everywhere. Alisa seemed to get away with the lack of duties she didn't do

Ya I can’t stand Mike, he’s a lazy, imo deeply misogynistic prick (and I HATE the way he keeps grabbing at Ellie to pull her in for kisses when she’s clearly brushing him off, he went for her neck the first time like wtf?!) BUT daisy was a wanker for treating them so differently about the exact same issue. Maybe alesia has a better track record but if it’s a clear ‘the boat was a shithole last night, do better’ chat, she should’ve treated them equally imo. Shes a poor manager.

 

[Justherefortittle]

I have to say RH of all places are my guilty pleasure. But purely because it’s the kind of tv I can have playing in the background and not needing to be completely invested in to know what’s going on.

Love the drama, and it plays out well in an episode where they are out for dinner etc But the idea of being trapped with them on a yacht and the drama continuing beyond the breakfast or dinner table would be hell on earth!

Credit to the RHOSL though that they had the energy to do a dramathon and fight their way through 3 days straight! That takes a certain stamina

 

[MissVanjie]

Mike is so stupid and lazy I just CANNOT.

he thinks he on Geordie Shore in his confessionals

 

[KerGlr5]

Yeah not liking the French stew who’s been on Love Island and essentially has never worked as a stew before. Clearly a plant for the drama that she’s already stirring up.

 

[Isthatso?]

If I was ever in a restaurant and saw any of the Housewives walk in to film, I’d get the bill and leave. It’s an unlikely scenario but I know exactly what I’d do!

 

[Lalala12]

Ellie is actually nuts!

 

[Ticktickmeh]

I think Kizzy is actually just vile. I imagine she's getting trolled a fair amount after all of her behaviour on the show.

I say it every season, I wish they still had reunions to hold them accountable for....

Also knowing Gael and Nathan since had a kid together, the will they wont they story line is a bit redundant.


Edit to add. I'd love to see Cathy come back as Cheif Stew once Ashea 'retires'

 

[Offish]

Wow Alesia is awful. I’m not surprised Jenna was pissed off when she came over and took Eddy to dance and then was telling him it wouldn’t work between him and Jenna I was getting annoyed! Not a fan of Ellie but did like her calling Alesia out the next day…even if it was to the wrong thing lol

I felt so uncomfortable watching Ellie get into bed with Joao. It seemed so desperate.

Totally agree with alllll of this. Also lol at Ellie calling anyone else a pick me pick-me-sia made me laugh tho
I was disappointed with Joao, he seems so completely different this season but alas, still led by little Joao I did think he seemed mega fucked off with alesia during her ‘little chat’, at least he’s got the measure of her I guess!

 

[Louanne]

Il bring this to the new thread as well. I've went right off Brianna. Not only is she a mean girl with Chinny. She's gonna break Harry's heart

I've also seen today on Tzarina's insta that she has blocked Harry and they no longer speak.
She's said she can't explain why yet, so I'm guessing there's a lot to come in the episodes left.