Being Ghosted

[vodkandcokeplz]

When a man shows you who he is, believe him. Don't lower yourself to reply to someone who can't make time in their day to even send u a text. Nah....... Next. Block that mole and hold your head high.

Thank you. I feel like such a mug thinking of reasons why etc

 

[Damntruthful]

Thank you. I feel like such a mug thinking of reasons why etc

That's the MO of men like that, break you down and push the boundaries to see how much they will get away with. Guaranteed of you ignore him he will have a bruised ego and be texting galore. Don't fall for it, he has shown you his true self, you deserve so much better.

 

[vodkandcokeplz]

That's the MO of men like that, break you down and push the boundaries to see how much they will get away with. Guaranteed of you ignore him he will have a bruised ego and be texting galore. Don't fall for it, he has shown you his true self, you deserve so much better.

I know, thank you!

 

[ChloChlo]

I don't mind being ghosted by people I don't know so well, like guys I only went out with a couple of times, or acquaintances. At that point it's not personal, and I've done it several times too.

What hurts the most is when people that have foundation in your life ghost you. I was ghosted by an ex after a year of being together, and I was ghosted by my best friend of seven years. Those are difficult to get over because there's no closure. The best friend especially. I thought of her at all my landmark moments in life: graduation, my wedding, the birth of my child... All the things I would have loved for her to have shared with me. I would have loved to have been there at her landmark moments as well. She was like a sister to me.

I spent the first few years thinking that if she ever reaches out, I'll forgive her, I just wanted her in my life. I'm the opposite now. The window is closed. I don't want to fill my life with people that don't want to be in it.

Definately!

My two experiences of it I used were a bit past the talking stage and they already happened to be in relationships. Put me off dating apps full stop. I met the latter one on POF. I cant say I've ever had a good POF experience. With being ghosted by someone you're dating, although it can knock one confidence, it is something you can probably expect to happen at some stage. And duck, I've even ghosted people myself in the dating stages.

Being ghosted by friends though is a whole other ball game and more hurtful as it isnt something you expect to ever happen. I had never had a friend ghost me before until recently and I agree it is worse. I became particularly close to a girl a few years ago, we had never fallen out but noticed I was blocked during lockdown. No explanation. She hadnt blocked my partner and was still regularly liking pictures of our child he would post. I dont even want to cause an issue about it or be all beggy asking why! Even though I am curious, I dont want to degrade myself by acting like I'm arsed when she clearly isnt arsed about me. I would like to know what causes friends to ghost one another?

 

[ChloChlo]

Wikipedia says being ghosted is having contact stopped suddenly by a 'partner, friend or similar individual'. So, not just something that is exclusive to someone you are seeing. In my day, it used to be called 'being sent to Coventry' for some reason!

So, has anybody any stories of friends or family members doing this (not just the flaky blokes who haven't got enough respect to finish a relationship properly)?

My nan is terrible for it, I mentioned an aunt in the Toxic Relatives thread who since my mum died 11 years ago has taken it upon herself to act as a gatekeeper to my mums side of the family, it is almost like every conversation that she doesnt hear, she has to be filled in about, or she throws a strop, she went as far as walk past me and my siblings on my MUMS funeral, handing out flowers to everybody to throw on her coffin but us declaring "these are for family only". As I had an argument with her prior to my mum passing. However this aunt of mine seems to be able to sway my entire maternal family into sending me to Coventry. Including my own grandparents. My nan has straight up ignored me. My uncle (my mums brother) will block me from everything and my cousins wont speak to me. It really is odd, but it only happens when my aunt takes umbrage with me. She is very toxic and evil. Quite frankly she is known for being a bit of a twisted bleep.

 

[Facehugger]

My nan is terrible for it, I mentioned an aunt in the Toxic Relatives thread who since my mum died 11 years ago has taken it upon herself to act as a gatekeeper to my mums side of the family, it is almost like every conversation that she doesnt hear, she has to be filled in about, or she throws a strop, she went as far as walk past me and my siblings on my MUMS funeral, handing out flowers to everybody to throw on her coffin but us declaring "these are for family only". As I had an argument with her prior to my mum passing. However this aunt of mine seems to be able to sway my entire maternal family into sending me to Coventry. Including my own grandparents. My nan has straight up ignored me. My uncle (my mums brother) will block me from everything and my cousins wont speak to me. It really is odd, but it only happens when my aunt takes umbrage with me. She is very toxic and evil. Quite frankly she is known for being a bit of a twisted bleep.

Bless you, I'm sorry you have to go through that. Families are so strange at times & the old saying is so true, at least you can pick your friends. This is why I was interested to know if it happens not just in relationships. Take care & stay strong, you're worth more than her nonsense it sounds like x

 

[Blondie]

Been ghosted by ‘friends’ in the past. This one woman in particular, we hit it off on a parenting site, our kids were around the same age and eventually we became fb friends, we had a fair bit in common and I really had started to consider her as a real friend. We had even talked about meeting up one day. Talked regularly for a good few months and I didn’t notice anything off, until one day I realised she’d blocked me on everything. No idea why, was weird and it hurt a bit considering friends are hard to make in your adult years, but you move on from stuff like that. A while later she unblocked me, only realised because she popped up on the ‘people you may know’ thing, thought it was weird that she would unblock me as that would have been a conscious decision, but I didn’t really care enough to get in touch and find out why.

I have had that with a friend too (I say friend but she probably wasn't a real friend) . This one woman, known for years, kids get on so well. Actually at school together. We got on well too, similar personality and parenting style. One day she deleted me off all social media. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat. I had no idea why as I haven't done anything wrong. She then goes round asking people why I am ignoring her
I haven't spoke to her about it and she has had plenty of opportunity to clear the air and speak to me about whatever her issue was but she hasn't so I've just been carrying on as normal. It's a shame some women can be so childish and not have a talk when something annoys them or whatever. We could have had a good friendship. Or so I thought. Looking back it was alway quite one sided, as in me making the effort.

 

[ChloChlo]

Families are weird. Especially when there are fall outs, you are made to almost pick a side and I think that is why it can happen. Certainly as is the case in mine anyway!

My sister and brother both happen to be gay and stopped talking to them long ago when certain members of my mums family were so cruel over it. Theyve been unhappy I've let them back in time after time. But my grandparents are getting really old now see and I'd hate for one of them to pass not speaking to me, just because there is a sociopath in the family!

 

[Lalla]

Happened to me a few times...

In the olden (pre dating sites) days I met a guy on a night out. Dated for about 3 weeks, spoke most days, then out of the blue he stopped calling. Left him a couple of messages, never heard from him again.

Another one was a guy I had known for a while as we all drank in the same pub. He'd always liked me but I was with someone else. About a year later bumped into him, we were both single, and he asked me out. Made all the arrangements (he was picking me up from mine) and he never turned up.
6 months later I heard from him, when he'd told me he was single he actually was only 'on a break' from his girlfriend. They split up for good a few weeks later but it took him months to pluck up the courage to contact me! In the end we went out for about 8-9 months. He was a tit boyfriend though and I ended up dumping him by text

I met a guy on a dating site who was an odd one...we had 3 dates in about 10 days, he was super keen then I text him to arrange a date and he said he was 'busy'...and then stopped replying. A few months later heard from him again, same thing. All in all I think I saw him about 12 times over the course of a year with massive gaps in between.

I would agree usually it is because they are dating loads of different women at the same time; or sometimes because they already have a long term partner and are just looking for a bit of side fun, get caught out and go to ground.