Being Ghosted

[petra23]

I was dating a guy when I was 17, I had just learnt to drive and was travelling around 25 minutes to go and see him. He was 3 years older than me and looking back on it, a total man child. I used to pay for us to go on dates and drive us around on my Saturday job wages. He then decided to go to uni, I was super supportive and pleased he was doing something to further himself. The night he moved up there he blocked me on everything I was devastated for a few months then realised what a twat he was. 5 years later he sent me a message request on Instagram telling me I was the one that got away and how he hadn't been able to have a meaningful relationship since... It felt very good being able to block him back

 

[Meh]

Ladies, this thread makes me realise what shits men can be.

I’ve been with my guy for a long time but I honestly think if we were to split right now I would just accept spinster hood. At 32. Because online dating terrifies me. All the rules and games- who has time for that?!

IMO if a “man” ghosts you then he was just a wee boy playing dress up and pretending to be a man for a while.

 

[NosyCat]

I got ghosted last summer and it has honestly scarred me for life. I was seeing what I THOUGHT was a lovely boy for about 6 months. Legit I thought I was set for life haha. It was long distance so a bit tricky but fine. We went for weekends away, phoned loads, sent me flowers for my birthday, just a nice guy. One weekend in July he came over to mine and I spied Tinder on his phone. I wish I had challenged him about it then but I had had bad news during the week (which he had been super sweet about) so didn’t really have the energy to get aggy and cry. So a few days later I messaged to ask if he was on dating apps because I wasn’t and I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page, he said this was a face to face chat and we could talk about it later... and that was that! I think I replied to that message and then again a few days later to say could he call me but I heard nothing from him ever again!! Weirdly he never unfollowed me on insta or anything so I just blocked him after a week or so

At first I was angry and then just really upset. I don’t think I’m fully over it even now to be honest.

I’ve been ghosted after a date/few dates but I’m less bothered about those and get over it pretty quickly. It’s so rude though!

 

[Sunflower91]

A guy slid into my dms once and we got chatting and arranged a date. First date when great and for the second date he wanted me to come over to his for dinner. Now my flat mate and my sister both reckoned going to his meant he wanted to sleep with me. I naively went along and it was still a good date but I wasn’t about to put out on date two. We met another couple of times for lunch and were arranging another date. Then he vanished - no explanation. A few weeks later he added me to LinkedIn and then seemed to be in a relationship with another girl He still likes all of my pictures to this day and also likes all of my LinkedIn changes. Men baffle me.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

This is kind of olden day ghosting.
I had a teenage boyfriend who i had known most of my life. Our fathers were business partners on some projects over the years and despite him being a few years older, we were close friends then dated (all innocent until i was 16). We dated seriously for a couple of years and i was madly in love.
When i was 18 we were going to paris for a weekend and i had just started an internship in london so we were going to meet at a train station after my work on the friday. 3 hours i waited!
I did not hear from him for ages. He buggered off to australia where he originaly came from. I ended up getting together with one of his friends who emotionally supported me afterwards (who i have now been married to for 15 years, so he did me a favour really).
Next thing i know, like six weeks later, he is in the paper marrying some aussie chick he literally had jusy met (he was locally famous in our county so they ran a piece). They divorced as quick as they married.

I saw him a few years later and the excuse he had for ghosting me was he wanted marriage and a family but i was "too young". Ironically when he told me this was at my wedding when i was (unknowingly) pregnant. How he had made the biggest mistake of his life and regretted it all. Blah blah blah.
He is consistent tho, he still to this day tells everyone he is not living his best life because i 'got away'..... Erm, idiot, you abandoned me. He is currently married to my lookalike. He and my husband have done business together over the years but my husband acts with caution. He even said to my husband "you are living the life i was supposed to have"!!!!
We moved away, we are very happy in australia now and he is still back in england married to my lookalike (who has a hell of a temper)!
I am thankful he did ghost me as he has not aged well haha!!!

 

[Peakyblinders]

Exactly! Ive found it has been from people from online dating too - I was seeing a guy for 3 months he was head over heels (waaay more than I was) then one day he just stopped replying! I chased him a bit like a mug because I wanted an answer but nothing! Then he started liking all my facebook pics about 3 months later then sent me a big apology - I forgave him and a couple weeks later he did it again

 

[Bhunaluna]

Usually a lurker on here but thought I’d add my story....
So my best friend tells me her boyfriends best friend is also single after I left my ex of 6 years. He slides into my dm’s and we start chatting, he FaceTimes me and invites me to this ball and I was literally besotted with him for some strange reason as he didn’t do anything nice for me.
So we’re texting I say what you up to and he says I’m at the ball...alright ok didn’t want to take me then!
Should’ve left him then but we’re dating (well I thought we were) for a good 4 months and we’ve met while I’ve had the kids etc. Then he just starts to ignore all my messages...I go out for a night out and I get a snapchat off him...my friend read it and she said it was really mean saying he’s upgraded and telling me to F off etc. Told my best mate the next day and she had a go at him but no explanation apart from his mate apparently sent that message. Just blocked me on everything and I was proper gutted!
Worst part is my best friend is getting married next year I’m maid of honour and he’s best man....might be a bit awkward

 

[Victoria sponge cake]

I’ve been ghosted by the same guy a few times. Over the last 4 or so years we’ve spoken on and off for a a couple of months at a time, the first time we started speaking we’d plan to go on dates and stuff and he’d always bail on the day. So any time after that, we’d just meet up for sex (lol don’t judge was living my best life). Clearly that’s all he wanted because he’d ghost me not long after, then 6-12 months would go by and he would unblock me off every social media, we’d get back in contact and rinse and repeat, until I asked him why the fuck does he always ghost me, to which he said “he’s embarrassed because he can never fulfill my needs” lmao. I’m now in a happy relationship and have been for a year, no contact with the ghost guy until a few weeks ago where he adds me on Snapchat completely out of the blue, I ignore the request because FUCK HIM. Some men ain’t shit, but the good guys always come around.

 

[cakebytheocean]

Had this happen to me, was in a relationship with what I thought was an amazing guy for about 4 months. We saw each other near to every day, had so much in common and thought everything was great until one night he went a bit quiet so I asked if everything was okay....... next thing I know I have been blocked on every form of contact there is - phone, whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, even LinkedIn. 6 months later he gets back in contact to say that he freaked out and didn't know how to handle the situation so he thought is the easiest thing to do was just block me, never did get an apology!

 

[Rainbow1]

I wrote one incident on another thread but this one tops it!

Was seeing this guy for a few months should of got bad vibes straight away when a mutual friend said I was wasting my time
We went out a few times etc then one day got in touch and said he was super stressed at work and we should just leave it
A few months later we ended up texting again and he asked me round his for dinner, we were watching tv on sofa then his phone rings, he storms into kitchen answering it then without saying anything to me literally RUNS out the front door and drives off?!
It was one of those surreal situations where you’re not quite sure what on earth is going on or doesn’t feel real!
I’m looking out window and see a car parked outside, I’m calling/texting him asking what’s going on
30 mins later he eventually texts me saying his ex girlfriend is sat outside and I should probably leave she’s a nutcase
Oh yeah great advice...
He eventually comes home over a hour later and basically orders me to leave cos the ex will be back she’s got a key and probably go mental at us (me logically thinking but I’m doing nothing wrong??)
So I end up leaving though as I’ve had a few drinks I had to end up sleeping in my car
Never heard from him again even when I stupidly tried chasing it up for a explanation!

probably a good thing!

Edit- to add mine probably has a reason but it still felt bizarre at the time for him not to explain to me as I had actually done nothing wrong

 

[User_name_100]

I was dating a guy when I was 17, I had just learnt to drive and was travelling around 25 minutes to go and see him. He was 3 years older than me and looking back on it, a total man child. I used to pay for us to go on dates and drive us around on my Saturday job wages. He then decided to go to uni, I was super supportive and pleased he was doing something to further himself. The night he moved up there he blocked me on everything I was devastated for a few months then realised what a twat he was. 5 years later he sent me a message request on Instagram telling me I was the one that got away and how he hadn't been able to have a meaningful relationship since... It felt very good being able to block him back

Something I've noted is that the majority of these men will end up trying to worm their way back in after a while, as if we're going to want to entertain that idea!

 

[User_name_100]

I was dating a guy when I was like 19 or 20 and he ghosted me suddenly after a few months of dating. I was distraught and didn't understand why he had suddenly disappeared without a word. Around six months later he randomly sent me a text saying he was sorry. I told him to 'fuck off' (I was a little mouthy back then!!)

I've had it a few times after a date or two with guys. Everything seemed to be going well them bam, nothing.

It's horrible but I am finding people can be cowards and would rather disappear than actually admit they don't fancy someone.

 

[Damntruthful]

This is my life right now. Started talking to a guy online. For a solid week he’s saying how I’m perfect blah blah. Wants to meet up soon etc. Then started to drop off over the weekend.

Then he comes back blowing hot and cold all week. Other day he didn’t speak for 2 days then sends me a ‘hello’ this morning... he still hasn’t replied to it so why even say hello? feel free to give me advice I’m so confused.. is he just keeping up appearances

When a man shows you who he is, believe him. Don't lower yourself to reply to someone who can't make time in their day to even send u a text. Nah....... Next. Block that asshole and hold your head high.

 

[ChloChlo]

A few times and I must say it really knocks my confidence but I've in my personal experience found it to be for sordid reasons like having another, more than likely on-off relationship on the go. My partners brother is often on the likes of Tinder and POF chatting with all the ladies and will completely come off of all social media whenever he gets back with his on off girlfriend.

was chatting to a guy, led to us meeting, having sex frequently then boom out of the blue blocked me. Months down the line I saw him in town with another girl pushing a pram - he was a cheeky bastard because he was in my inbox that same night explaining himself and wanting to know if we can meet up. I walked away from that circus.

Even though I didnt know he had a pregnant girlfriend, karma caught up with me BIG STYLE.

Another guy I had been speaking some time. Ended up having sex a few times. I'm blocked. No reason whatsoever. A couple of weeks later, despite being on contraception I find out I'm pregnant, so my friend got in contact with him on an urgent basis, he told her he has a family, his fiancee had not long given birth to his 2nd baby girl, he doesnt really want to be involved but will make sure we didnt go without and not to tell his girlfriend because of Sob Story A and B.
I'm a coward because I felt so alone and got an abortion. I regretted it instantly. 4 years ago I'm still hurting over it.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

Been ghosted by ‘friends’ in the past. This one woman in particular, we hit it off on a parenting site, our kids were around the same age and eventually we became fb friends, we had a fair bit in common and I really had started to consider her as a real friend. We had even talked about meeting up one day. Talked regularly for a good few months and I didn’t notice anything off, until one day I realised she’d blocked me on everything. No idea why, was weird and it hurt a bit considering friends are hard to make in your adult years, but you move on from stuff like that. A while later she unblocked me, only realised because she popped up on the ‘people you may know’ thing, thought it was weird that she would unblock me as that would have been a conscious decision, but I didn’t really care enough to get in touch and find out why.

 

[HankMcPrank]

I was gutted in March this year.
I’m over it now but it killed me. Everything was perfect, fine... no reason

 

[Norfolking Good]

I got chatting with a guy on Match who it turned out lived about an hour from me. We got on quite well over the phone and text so I agreed to meet him in the town he lived for lunch. The day before I got radio silence, when he’d been quite quick to respond. I didn’t turn up due to this and about a week later he magically appears on text but wouldn’t really explain why he had vanished.
we agree to meet again and lo and behold he vanished again! After that I sent him a message saying how childish he was and thanks for wasting my time and blocked him. Dick.

 

[Kandy floss]

I got ghosted a few years ago by someone I met on Tinder

I was in my final year of university and had recently broken up with someone I’d been with for over 2 years who’d been abusive to me.

We got on great and eventually met and had been seeing each other for about a month when he suddenly started messaging me less during the day, but when I just didn’t bother messaging again due to the vibes I was getting, he’d eventually message me again. That kept on until one day he never messaged me back and we haven’t spoken since.

I was gutted but now I don’t care because if we’d developed into anything more I’d never have met who I’ve been with for the last 3 and a half years

 

[Damntruthful]

I’m so glad I’ve found this thread as I was about to start one. I posted a bit in another thread but I realised I’m really still not over it.
I’m still struggling after being ghosted last year. I was dating a guy for a few months and everything seemed to be going really well we met online and he was 10 years older than me. He was also the first person I had been with in THAT way. Although I have dated other guys before it hasn’t worked out so it doesn’t go that way.

Anyway so he has his own business and said that he needed to get things done and we could see each other in a couple of weeks. So I text to check in see how things were etc and he would read them and not reply. I asked about meeting up and he left me on read I noticed he watched all my stories still followed me even now on ig, still on the Dating app but just never responded.

I need to move on from it cause I’mdriving myself crazy and my friends because I really should be over it already it sounds silly but it’s knocked me and my self esteem because I just don’t know what I did or need to change about myself in order to not have this happen again. I havent really been able to date again I wanted to try again this year then Coronavirus happened. I haven’t brought myself to block him purely as I’m just wanting to know was it for someone else? What does he want / what does anyone else he’s with have I don’t or what can I do.

First off YOU did absolutely nothing wrong and don't ever think any differently. The fault lies with him. When a man shows you who he is.... believe him. You've had a lucky escape and I hope that you grow from the experience and learn your worth. No man who makes you question your own self worth is worth a second of your time, the right guy will shower you with attention and love. Block that bastard, hold your head high and I wish you nothing but health and happiness.

 

[Peakyblinders]

I’m so glad I’ve found this thread as I was about to start one. I posted a bit in another thread but I realised I’m really still not over it.
I’m still struggling after being ghosted last year. I was dating a guy for a few months and everything seemed to be going really well we met online and he was 10 years older than me. He was also the first person I had been with in THAT way. Although I have dated other guys before it hasn’t worked out so it doesn’t go that way.

Anyway so he has his own business and said that he needed to get things done and we could see each other in a couple of weeks. So I text to check in see how things were etc and he would read them and not reply. I asked about meeting up and he left me on read I noticed he watched all my stories still followed me even now on ig, still on the Dating app but just never responded.

I need to move on from it cause I’mdriving myself crazy and my friends because I really should be over it already it sounds silly but it’s knocked me and my self esteem because I just don’t know what I did or need to change about myself in order to not have this happen again. I havent really been able to date again I wanted to try again this year then Coronavirus happened. I haven’t brought myself to block him purely as I’m just wanting to know was it for someone else? What does he want / what does anyone else he’s with have I don’t or what can I do.

Sorry to hear this - I was ghosted by a guy last year who I was seeing for a few months and was way more into me than i was him - sending me flowers etc, telling my friends on a night out he wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend etc then one day he just stopped replying to me TOTALLY out the blue. I sent a million messages/voicemails etc (i see now how desperate it looked but all i wanted was an answer) and thats what I kept asking for, NOTHING. Then about 2 months later he randomly started liking my pics on facebook - then would send me messages early hours of the morning (drunk) apologising saying I didnt understand etc then I would (stupidly) reply and he would ghost me again. Left it a month or so with nothing and I randomly got this message one sunday morning basically apologising so much saying he struggled with his mental health and just cut me off for whatever bullshit reason - saying I was perfect hes lost the best thing that has ever happened to him. I stupidly again believed this, met up with him, heard him out forgave him for everything and then a week later he did it AGAIN! And I have never heard off him since. Absolutely understand why it has affected you so much as its the not knowing that gets to you. I would just try to move on, he will probably come back but trust me he will probably do it again! x

I’ve had to semi-ghost someone before, I felt awful for it but he wasn’t getting the hint!

Our mutual friend had set us up and we went on a double date, got on well and agreed to go out just the two of us. He was quite full on before the date, and we were both just coming out of long term relationships, so I said I wasn’t looking to jump straight into something serious and wanted to take it slow, which he agreed to. After our date, it was his birthday the following week and I suggested going out for drinks with out mutual friend and his girlfriend, to which he said no, because he was hoping I’d come to his family meal and meet his parents, grandparents, sister and cousins . I said I wasn’t ready for that and maybe we should cool things off a bit if he is. He said no it’s fine, let’s just take it slow.

Fast forward a week later and he’d planned this elaborate, full day date, and was mad that I said I’d want to go home and change/spend some time alone between going out for brunch and a fancy dinner. It was at that point I realised it wasn’t going to work, called him to explain, he took it surprisingly well. Then I realised he hadn’t actually got the message properly and was still asking me out on dates.

THREE separate occasions I told him I didn’t think we should see each other any more and we wanted different things. Each time I thought he got it and then almost immediately asked me out again.

Eventually I had to block his number/social media etc because we were just going round in circles. I still feel awful about it though!

No thats totally fine as you explained numerous times and he still didnt get the hint!! I have done something similar before as he just wouldnt leave me or get the hint so i had to just delete him!