Awkward Work Situation

[Youre a wizard Harry]

As a team leader and fellow anxiety sufferer, I had to comment to say that is awful. I would never have told another employee the reason for holiday, I would have just told the new team member what the booking procedure was (e. Submit your request x amount of time beforehand, you cant have time off at the same time as xyz).
It sounds like you’ve handled it well, and hopefully she will reflect on her actions.

 

[actuallyeducated]

I would agree not to go to HR if you feel she’s apologised but definitely say when you leave. I recently learned the hard way, I would have never ever complained about a boss or someone at work for the fear of how it would make me look but my current boss broke me last year in tears every day spent every lunch hour on the phone to my mum and poor partner crying my eyes out and I went to the company about her and they basically went and told her and made me sit in a room with her and talk to her (which I ended up walking out crying cause it was so uncomfortable) sadly I am still in this job but every single day I want to quit and it’s been awful dealing with her when she knows I complained about her.

 

[Laur91]

I would agree not to go to HR if you feel she’s apologised but definitely say when you leave. I recently learned the hard way, I would have never ever complained about a boss or someone at work for the fear of how it would make me look but my current boss broke me last year in tears every day spent every lunch hour on the phone to my mum and poor partner crying my eyes out and I went to the company about her and they basically went and told her and made me sit in a room with her and talk to her (which I ended up walking out crying cause it was so uncomfortable) sadly I am still in this job but every single day I want to quit and it’s been awful dealing with her when she knows I complained about her.

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that! That’s exactly the situation I was worried about and I’m sorry they dealt with that so badly. At the end of the day though you did the right thing & she will also have to deal with that on her conscience. Is she behaving better now??

 

[JD-Morgan]

It's gross misconduct for a start and could result in disciplinary action

I'd take her all the way

 

[littlepup]

Her reason was that the colleague had asked what the process was for approving leave as they’d seen I’d booked time off and instead of answering like a sane person and saying she reviews it and approves she was like ‘well they have anxiety so I accommodate their leave requests’

I was horrified at first but this explanation Does make it sound as though she’s really stupid rather than a gossip.
She should have said ‘health issues’ or individual circumstances’. If you’d been getting IVF or having recurring gyno issues would she have also shared? It’s a bit much!
I’d also ensure that you aren’t actually entitled to this time off as sick with pay and while you may find it easier not to ‘rock the boat’ or ‘make a big deal’ or ‘be a nuisance’ etc you’re actually saving the company money by dealing with it the way you do. It wouldn’t hurt to point out you expect a reciprocal respect (and imply that if you don’t get it, you’ll happily take the sick pay and holiday instead)

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Years ago I had Shingles and was off work for a few weeks. I had to bring the doctors note to give to my manager when I got back as that was standard procedure after being absent for more than a few days. Anyway, I gave the note to my manager and thought no more of it.

Until a few days later, someone handed me the cert with my name and "herpes zoster" written on it. Turns out my manager had left my note lying on the ground and someone picked it up. I was fuming, especially as herpes zoster was on it and obviously not everyone will know that that's shingles. So careless! I can't stand when managers are careless about peoples private info, and in this case it's worse as it wasn't an accidental drop of a cert on the ground (still careless). It was deliberately giving away your info

 

[Laur91]

I was horrified at first but this explanation Does make it sound as though she’s really stupid rather than a gossip.
She should have said ‘health issues’ or individual circumstances’. If you’d been getting IVF or having recurring gyno issues would she have also shared? It’s a bit much!
I’d also ensure that you aren’t actually entitled to this time off as sick with pay and while you may find it easier not to ‘rock the boat’ or ‘make a big deal’ or ‘be a nuisance’ etc you’re actually saving the company money by dealing with it the way you do. It wouldn’t hurt to point out you expect a reciprocal respect (and imply that if you don’t get it, you’ll happily take the sick pay and holiday instead)

Oh yeah it was just stupidity and lack of a spine - she could have done her job as a line manager and said that it’s none of the other persons concern!

The stupid thing was I didn’t even book THAT day off for mental health reasons haha I was just having a day with my mum! I think she’d just assumed! Daft cow.

Everyone’s comments on here have been SO kind and supportive though like there’s not been one comment that hasn’t made me feel better about it all so thank you all so much!

 

[HelloStereo]

Oh yeah it was just stupidity and lack of a spine - she could have done her job as a line manager and said that it’s none of the other persons concern!

The stupid thing was I didn’t even book THAT day off for mental health reasons haha I was just having a day with my mum! I think she’d just assumed! Daft cow.

Everyone’s comments on here have been SO kind and supportive though like there’s not been one comment that hasn’t made me feel better about it all so thank you all so much!

I hope you had a lovely day with your mum and that you've felt comfortable back at work since .