Autistic (undiagnosed or not) Adults Thread

[Eeyore147]

Hello, I though I’d update, I had the AQ-10 assessment and scored quite high which triggered a referral. I’m currently awaiting an appoint for assessment

Wishing you lots of luck and I hope the wait isn’t long.

 

[Roastielover]

I have an adhd test coming up soon, if anyone has had one please can you let me know what happens as I’m starting to get quite nervous about it!

 

[ElectricDreams]

New to the thread
I was just wondering how many of you that are undiagnosed and on the spectrum, are self employed and how you handle it?
Undiagnosed, not sure if I’m on the spectrum or not but do feel I have some common traits.
I have really good days running my little business (the past few have been amazing) but then others are really overwhelming, I can put some things down to being anxious, but I’m really conscious of how I’m talking, what I’m saying, I also find myself zoning out when working with clients and then I can’t remember what they’ve said to me? Anyone else?

I know exactly where you're coming from, I feel exactly the same and have been both employed and self employed. For me, being self employed helped a bit because I could retreat when I felt overwhelmed, but I have the same feelings either way. I gave up self employment 6 months ago and got a regular job but if I'm honest I find it just as difficult and face the same issues!

 

[Millennial Pink]

I recommend the YouTube Olivia Hops. When I was researching autism she came up on my YT recommendations and I related to literally every trait she listed

Ooh, I'd not heard of her. I quite like Paige Layle(?) and Purple Ella.

 

[Sheabutter]

IT systems improvement- loads of us are neurodivergent.

This sounds like something I would enjoy. Do I need a computer science degree?

 

[dancingqueen5678]

This post couldn’t have come on a better day! My friend approached me about my daughter yesterday. She’s quite controlling of me in particular; throws whopper tantrums , although they’re getting better , screams when it’s not going her own way like I’ve never heard, some idiosyncrasies like licks things at the mo, but this is new, loves to rub skin (ears) and used to purposely avoid eye contact but that’s stopped , used to bite her arm also stopped . We’ve also just had a baby recently plus Covid so anxieties are high.

Obviously went down a rabbit hole researching asd in girls. Very hard to see what’s really a red flag and what’s toddler behaviour. Likes she’s just two and otherwise developmentally sound ! Anyway reading articles hit so so close to the bone

I often dread social gatherings, but not always. I am terrible at chit chat. I’m havefew close friends, never in with the in crowd or lasted very long (but also moved schools a bit for other reasons ) I’ve had episodes of high anxiety around big changes like secondary school and colleges, but they had two babies for married n bought a house with none. It so confusing but I spent half the day today wondering if I actually make eye contact with ppl , and then forcing myself to do it today! I’m so confused now

Sorry for the reposting , and re writing, phone froze!!

So I posted above about eye contact but I will re-post here.

"if it helps, I make 'eye contact' but I find it really uncomfortable so I always try and distract myself. Realistically though, I make eye contact cause I was told as a kids that it's the thing to do. It's not something I do naturally and I have to actually think about making eye contact cause I won't otherwise"

also in regards to the babies and the house and no anxiety, it could have been cause you had control over it. I upped my whole life and moved abroad completely alone with no anxiety at all but that's cause it was me who was in control, I chose where to live, I chose the job etc.

 

[Forallthoseasking]

Hi, can I ask where you're located?
In Ireland there are very few, if any, public assessments, and children would be separate to adults, so you wouldn't be taking the place of a more needed person (although really if you find it is affecting you then I would say your equally in need, you might not have as high support needs as others, but it is impacting your life not in a totally positive way at the minute) I can help if you're in Ireland in suggesting what next, as it's private options. Hopefully someone else can help if you're in the UK

Hey! I'm actually originally from N.Ireland but I now live in England so I imagine it might be different? I had a look online at some things but there seems to be a lot of information about private assessments not always being NHS certified or whatever and not so much about finding private proper doctor referrals? Unfortunately, I've seen autism become a bit of a bandwagon over here and with that, lots of these "Are you autistic? Pay £200 to take our online quiz and get a certificate!" type sites pop up

Also, thank you for your message

 

[maytoseptember]

What I do in this circumstance is go on google maps and use the little yellow man to look at the street it's on. Sounds a bit weird but it feels more familiar for me then cause I recognise it

Oh don't worry I was one step ahead of you. Obsessively scrolling up and down the street, studying junctions etc. Also comparing Google Maps directions vs AA routeplanner directions and being annoyed that they were different. And then worrying some more as I looked at the step-by-step instructions and found that "take first exit at the roundabout" in text was actually the second exit/straight ahead on the diagram, aaaaargh! Not just once but twice. Seriously can't deal with this

 

[Millennial Pink]

I get driving anxiety too, and usually if I need to drive somewhere it's somewhere I've never been before. I've been known to park up at a car park 15 mins away from my intended destination to avoid having to find street parking. I have no sense of direction and have been known to take wrong turns even with a sat nav XD

 

[shadowcat5]

For those who don't want to go to the doctor, see if you can go through the Integrated Autism service in your area. it's a self referral with forms that you print off, send them in, they get back to you with a test, send that off, they get back to you with a referral acceptance and then will ring you for an appointment.

 

[Dollenganger]

Sorry not career adviser proof reader was what I meant, lol.

 

[Sandyclaws]

Sorry for the long, messy post but my head is fried and I don't know who to talk to about this

So I've got a lot of life experience with autism. My brother was diagnosed when he was a toddler in the 90s and went to special needs schools so we had a lot of family friends through that network with autistic kids. We have also been convinced for years that my mum is autistic after many "really? Is that not normal? But I was like that as a child?" moments during my brother's diagnosis but she has never seen the point in getting an assessment as she doesn't want to take a place from a person in real need.

During a teenage mental breakdown I went from pillar to post in CBT sessions as they concluded I wasn't "depressed" as I apparently "had too much fight in me for a clinically depressed person" but I was also suicidal so I had an elaborate mix of CBT/anger management and counselling all bundled up into a "we don't know what is wrong with you but if this helps?"
Eventually I did feel better but only after moving country for university and basically adapting to my own little life (and a lot of uni partying).
I've since built a career and done really well for myself. I've got an amazing partner who is better than I could have wished for. We moved in together right before covid hit.

Since living with him and with covid and life generally changing in every way possible, I've found it harder to mask those worries that I had kept at bay with my little way of doing things. I used to have "ipod time" as a teenager where I listened to emo music at full blast on my ipod nano whilst pacing the upstairs landing in the dark. My family understood this completely and would simply flick the light on when it was time for tea or whatever. In times of extreme stress, I still go back to ipod time as an adult. It is my ultimate comfort blanket. My partner tries to understand but doesn't quite get this and other things I do to calm. When talking to other people, they don't tend to either.

There's lots of other little things like this that I could list off but overall, the only people who seem to understand these traits are my family (1 confirmed autistic person and 1 highly suspected) and one of my colleagues, who was diagnosed with autism and ADHD a few years back after a mental breakdown very like the one I had over a decade ago.

This in addition to many articles etc that I am relating too way too much are now causing me brain fog with the "am I? Aren't I?" Thoughts. I would love to get diagnosed and find out if I am or not. I don't really care either option it would find to be honest, I just want clarity to stop my brain twisting things.

Does anyone know of any private referrals that are actually assessments and not a glorified online quiz? Like my mum, I don't want to take the place of a kid like my brother was who really needs it but I am anxious.

Thank you if you got this far

Hi, can I ask where you're located?
In Ireland there are very few, if any, public assessments, and children would be separate to adults, so you wouldn't be taking the place of a more needed person (although really if you find it is affecting you then I would say your equally in need, you might not have as high support needs as others, but it is impacting your life not in a totally positive way at the minute) I can help if you're in Ireland in suggesting what next, as it's private options. Hopefully someone else can help if you're in the UK

 

[Abby lockhart]

So I posted above about eye contact but I will re-post here.

"if it helps, I make 'eye contact' but I find it really uncomfortable so I always try and distract myself. Realistically though, I make eye contact cause I was told as a kids that it's the thing to do. It's not something I do naturally and I have to actually think about making eye contact cause I won't otherwise"

also in regards to the babies and the house and no anxiety, it could have been cause you had control over it. I upped my whole life and moved abroad completely alone with no anxiety at all but that's cause it was me who was in control, I chose where to live, I chose the job etc.

That’s very true, half notes that as I typed it. Are there good reputable resources or website. I find so much info and it varies but I wonder about the sources. I know it’s a complex issue but I find it hard to know what’s fairly normal but maybe not to everyone versus what’s a real symptom

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Same! But my drs are pretty terrible in terms of everything being a tick list rather than actually listening to you.

So my plan is to go for a private assessment it’s around 1900

You mean £1900, as in that being the amount charged for the assessment?

 

[unidentified]

I am absolutely sick of hearing about the self diagnosing not being taken seriously. Yeah, there are always some numpties with everything but this is different.
My nephew is autistic but we never thought anything else until I had my then 10 year old daughter assessed for dyslexia and she mentioned she felt there was some autistic traits. I looked into it in girls and EVERYTHING made sense. I’ve never got anyone to take me seriously in it because she can make eye contact I’ve told them that I can tell she is often vaccine behind that though. I’ve had school back me up about things, she was seen by a local charity therapist for a year and he wrote a statement for the paed and still nothing. My sister has since been diagnosed in her late 40’s and as we were going through her form I could see so much of myself and my daughter in it. So much makes sense about who I am and why I really struggle with things at times. Unless you are autistic, no one can really understand just how that overwhelm can feel at times. I have been laughed at for being unsociable at work but it’s too much. I can do 1-1 ok but if there’s a group I hate it. There’s a lot more to it but I’ve definitely accepted that I am autistic and I’ve become ok with that. Wasn’t easy and the conversations I’ve had with my daughter haven’t been easy but now she’s reading how it effects girls she can see herself in the literature too.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Can I ask what job you do?

I work as a domestic in a care home. I've never really fitted in there though.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I'm not sure, I certainly have some characteristics. I feel very awkward in social situations, I find it difficult to make eye contact with people I don't know. I struggle to fit in, especially in the job I'm doing.

Can I ask what job you do?

 

[Leelah]

The waiting lists are a joke. Currently on one for ADHD, I imagine this one will be long as well although I do suspect I have both.

 

[Dollenganger]

What does everyone do for work? I’m looking to branch out

I’m a beauty / massage therapist. I find it quite frustrating that I can’t go back to work because I have had a really bad back and slipped discs since 2015. I have to do something that doesn’t involve too much talking with others, or I burn out and have to quit.

My friend is a career advisor and she thinks I should do a course to become a career adviser.

 

[unidentified]

I’ve been apprehensive about going to the doctor about myself but I think I’m going to put on my big girl pants and go for it. Our doctors have an online form so I’m going to submit the request that way