Wondering if there are any autistic people on here or people who think they might be autistic that want to chat about experiences and difficulties. I guess like a vent thread?
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Hello! I’m not diagnosed but I think my daughter is ASD and I see a lot of her in myself and completely understand where she’s coming from….if that makes sense
Hi I am not diagnosed but it's something I looked into before being diagnosed with ADHD back in Feb. However it still plays on my mind so I might try and save for a private assessment.
I mainly have difficulties with social situations, I can just about cope at work but it feels forced and like I'm acting so it's quite exhausting
I mainly have difficulties with social situations, I can just about cope at work but it feels forced and like I'm acting so it's quite exhausting
My friends think I have autism. I have struggled for a long time but I just always assumed that’s who I was but I get told I’m not normal all the time, I think it’s got worse since lockdown.
When I have done those online tests they come back as highly likely but I feel silly approaching a doctor about it.
When I have done those online tests they come back as highly likely but I feel silly approaching a doctor about it.
Same! But my drs are pretty terrible in terms of everything being a tick list rather than actually listening to you.
So my plan is to go for a private assessment it’s around 1900
You mean £1900, as in that being the amount charged for the assessment?
Sorry, yes.
Thank you for all replying! I didn't think anyone would 
I am absolutely useless with my peers. I just go mute a lot of the time and feels like the words are stuck in my throat.
I have the same issue. So in work I'm not so anxious cause I feel like I know the "rules". I know customer service and I know professional relationships but I can't manage outside of work. I can't go on work nights out cause I don't know the rules then. I also find the environment of work a struggle. It's bright, it's noisy, the uniform is uncomfortable. At the end of the shift I feel like I cannot speak at all.
I am absolutely useless with my peers. I just go mute a lot of the time and feels like the words are stuck in my throat.
This thread couldn’t have come at a better time. My friend approached me yesterday with concerns my daughter has something developmental going on, maybe Asd. She’s a bit controlling,throws whooped tantrums screams and has a few quirks but they go as quick as the appear
Anyway obviously I went down a rabbit hole reading articles and my god so much cuts so close to the bone.
I dread some
Social gatherings , although not all, I have a few close friends , I’m not great at small talk; I’ve had episodes of anxiety during big changes like starting secondary school, starting college x2 , spent the day today wondering if I actually make eye contact with ppl!
Anyway obviously I went down a rabbit hole reading articles and my god so much cuts so close to the bone.
I dread some
Social gatherings , although not all, I have a few close friends , I’m not great at small talk; I’ve had episodes of anxiety during big changes like starting secondary school, starting college x2 , spent the day today wondering if I actually make eye contact with ppl!
if it helps, I make 'eye contact' but I find it really uncomfortable so I always try and distract myself. Realistically though, I make eye contact cause I was told as a kids that it's the thing to do. It's not something I do naturally and I have to actually think about making eye contact cause I won't otherwise
This post couldn’t have come on a better day! My friend approached me about my daughter yesterday. She’s quite controlling of me in particular; throws whopper tantrums , although they’re getting better , screams when it’s not going her own way like I’ve never heard, some idiosyncrasies like licks things at the mo, but this is new, loves to rub skin (ears) and used to purposely avoid eye contact but that’s stopped , used to bite her arm also stopped . We’ve also just had a baby recently plus Covid so anxieties are high.
Obviously went down a rabbit hole researching asd in girls. Very hard to see what’s really a red flag and what’s toddler behaviour. Likes she’s just two and otherwise developmentally sound ! Anyway reading articles hit so so close to the bone
I often dread social gatherings, but not always. I am terrible at chit chat. I’m havefew close friends, never in with the in crowd or lasted very long (but also moved schools a bit for other reasons ) I’ve had episodes of high anxiety around big changes like secondary school and colleges, but they had two babies for married n bought a house with none. It so confusing but I spent half the day today wondering if I actually make eye contact with ppl , and then forcing myself to do it today! I’m so confused now
Sorry for the reposting , and re writing, phone froze!!
Obviously went down a rabbit hole researching asd in girls. Very hard to see what’s really a red flag and what’s toddler behaviour. Likes she’s just two and otherwise developmentally sound ! Anyway reading articles hit so so close to the bone
I often dread social gatherings, but not always. I am terrible at chit chat. I’m havefew close friends, never in with the in crowd or lasted very long (but also moved schools a bit for other reasons ) I’ve had episodes of high anxiety around big changes like secondary school and colleges, but they had two babies for married n bought a house with none. It so confusing but I spent half the day today wondering if I actually make eye contact with ppl , and then forcing myself to do it today! I’m so confused now
Sorry for the reposting , and re writing, phone froze!!
So I posted above about eye contact but I will re-post here.
"if it helps, I make 'eye contact' but I find it really uncomfortable so I always try and distract myself. Realistically though, I make eye contact cause I was told as a kids that it's the thing to do. It's not something I do naturally and I have to actually think about making eye contact cause I won't otherwise"
also in regards to the babies and the house and no anxiety, it could have been cause you had control over it. I upped my whole life and moved abroad completely alone with no anxiety at all but that's cause it was me who was in control, I chose where to live, I chose the job etc.
That’s very true, half notes that as I typed it. Are there good reputable resources or website. I find so much info and it varies but I wonder about the sources. I know it’s a complex issue but I find it hard to know what’s fairly normal but maybe not to everyone versus what’s a real symptom
if you google autism in girls, a lot of articles come up about it. There's one by the Autism and Aspergers network (https://www.aane.org/women-asperger-profiles/)
To be honest, I read a lot of them and related but the main thing that solidified it for me was seeing videos put out by autistic women on YouTube. One of them was something like "10 signs of autism I had as a kid" and the whole video I was like "Yes, yes, yes, yes".
I think the difference between normal vs a symptom is the reaction. Everyone has idiosyncrasies but it's how those affect you? like most people can live normally if their routine is disrupted, they'll be frustrated but it's okay, whereas I get really stressed and anxious if my routine is disrupted and I will be emotional, angry, can't focus, berating myself and everything else. Like it's such a strong reaction compared to someone else who would be like "well that's annoying".
I could talk for hours about it. I remember once before I was diagnosed, I was telling a friend how stressful I found nightclubs and the day after I was basically down and out like I had a hangover despite not drinking at all and she said that the day after she would get really tired and it was probably that but I knew that it was tiredness. It was more like I couldn't function. Couldn't speak, couldn't focus, would be anxious and on edge. Now I understand that I was sensory overload and that's why I felt so rough the next day.
I could go on forever about things that other people seemingly deal with that I struggle with.
that makes complete sense! I think that is true for a lot of women in adulthood.
I was the same way. All my friends would just know me as someone who was different and it was obvious there were things about me that were different to them. I also think I got worse in lockdown. I lived alone abroad and then came home to live with my parents again and that really was difficult. I don't think I realised how much other people upset me with things they do unknowingly (like noises, certain foods, etc) until I got back
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I don’t think I qualify as neurotypical mainly because I can’t detect when someone else is operating with guile. Also audio processing can be a pain and a half. I am always turning on closed captioning these days and it’s like hearing aids for a deaf person or glasses on a vision impaired baby. A lot of other things that I think could be symptoms could also just as easily be the outcome of a very strange and confusing childhood.
This is actually an issue that came up with my therapist. I had a lot of trauma in childhood and we’ve discussed at length was I autistic or was I traumatised or was I traumatised because I was autistic so trauma affected me different than it maybe would another kid. It’s like a what came first the chicken or egg kind of scenario
I think when googling about ASD if your a women allllllllllll research out there is based on boys/men.
So that’s how we get missed or mis-diagnosed.
Girls present differently to boys which professionals don’t always get
.
So as girls we learn to fit in we learn what’s ‘right’ and how not to look like the weird ones.
Then at home where it’s our safe place and we can be us that’s when we break down that’s when the meltdowns come and the ‘crying over nothing’ because we are exhausted from masking all day and fitting in.
I’m constantly told I’m very blunt. I have to watch for peoples expressions or their body language and sometimes I can’t read them so I over apologise for being rude, there’s times where before I say what I need to say, I’ll say I’m sorry if this comes across as being rude I’m not meaning to be.
It’s incredibly draining.
Before going somewhere new I have to google the place where the toilets are, where there’s food how far away my car is parked. An then I’m anxious the whole time. Because I can’t relax, it’s new and I don’t like it.
I over think. Constantly over think. I hate the way some clothes feel and it’s like I can’t think straight so I need to remove those.
The list is almost endless of things I do. As a child I had a routine where I had to go through a process of checking things, my parents tried to say it was because I was trying to get of sleeping. When all I wanted was to sleep. I later learned that was OCD when I’m stressed I feel those thoughts slowly creeping back in.
Life is hard without masking and pretending, and thinking about back then and now, I 10000% don’t want my daughter to go through any of that.
what does that mean, sorry? Operating with a guile?
So that’s how we get missed or mis-diagnosed.
Girls present differently to boys which professionals don’t always get
.So as girls we learn to fit in we learn what’s ‘right’ and how not to look like the weird ones.
Then at home where it’s our safe place and we can be us that’s when we break down that’s when the meltdowns come and the ‘crying over nothing’ because we are exhausted from masking all day and fitting in.
I’m constantly told I’m very blunt. I have to watch for peoples expressions or their body language and sometimes I can’t read them so I over apologise for being rude, there’s times where before I say what I need to say, I’ll say I’m sorry if this comes across as being rude I’m not meaning to be.
It’s incredibly draining.
Before going somewhere new I have to google the place where the toilets are, where there’s food how far away my car is parked. An then I’m anxious the whole time. Because I can’t relax, it’s new and I don’t like it.
I over think. Constantly over think. I hate the way some clothes feel and it’s like I can’t think straight so I need to remove those.
The list is almost endless of things I do. As a child I had a routine where I had to go through a process of checking things, my parents tried to say it was because I was trying to get of sleeping. When all I wanted was to sleep. I later learned that was OCD when I’m stressed I feel those thoughts slowly creeping back in.
Life is hard without masking and pretending, and thinking about back then and now, I 10000% don’t want my daughter to go through any of that.
what does that mean, sorry? Operating with a guile?
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I think I could chase my tail in endless circles trying to figure that out. On top of everything else that happened, my family is mostly comprised of engineers. Silicon Valley is becoming self aware of the social consequences of so many engineers in one place.
Someone saying something misleading for selfish purposes.
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Girls really do mask to fit in! I also think that a lot of the time, girl's will have "special interests" that are typical of other girls, like horses or gymnastics which I think is why a lot of girls go unnoticed.I think when googling about ASD if your a women allllllllllll research out there is based on boys/men.
So that’s how we get missed or mis-diagnosed.
Girls present differently to boys which professionals don’t always get
So as girls we learn to fit in we learn what’s ‘right’ and how not to look like the weird ones.
Then at home where it’s our safe place and we can be us that’s when we break down that’s when the meltdowns come and the ‘crying over nothing’ because we are exhausted from masking all day and fitting in.
I’m constantly told I’m very blunt. I have to watch for peoples expressions or their body language and sometimes I can’t read them so I over apologise for being rude, there’s times where before I say what I need to say, I’ll say I’m sorry if this comes across as being rude I’m not meaning to be.
It’s incredibly draining.
Before going somewhere new I have to google the place where the toilets are, where there’s food how far away my car is parked. An then I’m anxious the whole time. Because I can’t relax, it’s new and I don’t like it.
I over think. Constantly over think. I hate the way some clothes feel and it’s like I can’t think straight so I need to remove those.
The list is almost endless of things I do. As a child I had a routine where I had to go through a process of checking things, my parents tried to say it was because I was trying to get of sleeping. When all I wanted was to sleep. I later learned that was OCD when I’m stressed I feel those thoughts slowly creeping back in.
Life is hard without masking and pretending, and thinking about back then and now, I 10000% don’t want my daughter to go through any of that.
I am the same with facial expressions. I can tell if someone is happy and that's it. I only know by tone of voice how someone is feelings which for years I thought was normal.
I am the same way. I eat at the same restaurants, if I go away I stay at the same hotels usually a budget hotel that are the same everywhere you go.
Same with sensory issues! Clothes are a nightmare, I can't buy online cause I need to see and feel the material