Ashley James #35 Poor Alf and Ada, Mum’s a dick and Dad’s got no balls
Thread title by @kiraaarrrr
Lots of self-pity from Ashley in the last two weeks, mostly because of the Maternal mental load. Thinking about pumping is hard work, especially when you keep leaking or spilling milk (Elvie must be THRILLED) so she had a discussion with Tommy about what else he could take on.
You know, on top of working full-time, parenting Alf alone, doing all of the tidying up and the cooking, and meeting Ash in London because she can’t manage alone. Come on Tommy, can’t you step up and breastfeed Adeline too?
Alongside complaining about pumping, and the cost of childcare, she dropped both kids at the childminder to go and do Pilates with Tommy!
In her mum era Ashley is ‘bored’ and in bed at 7.30pm but misses ‘my evenings’. Shame all those Jewish and Muslim friends of hers have actual real-life worries, isn’t it.
Ash understands though surely, as she herself was too scared to travel to London. Except for ear piercing (that she couldn’t even have), and took the kids to Battersea to the park (because there aren’t any parks in Brentwood).
Pamela Anderson is her new idol, for going out without make up (said Ash in make up).
Her skin is apparently great because of no gossiping and no negative energy. (We tattlers are fucked then!)
Bingo to every single tattler who predicted crying selfies, because she hates this stage of parenting with Ada.
World Mental Health Day was ‘All About Ashley’ with absolutely no consideration for mentioning self-harm or intrusive thoughts or signposting to support services.
Steph’s Packed Lunch has been cancelled, which Ash hasn’t mentioned, because she’ll probably be devastated that the only exposure she’s had is no more
A trip to the local book shop was a let down because they had no pumpkin books. You know, that super popular story theme for children.
We were treated to her long-awaited screen time reel!
Alf just doesn’t have his iPad now because tv and phones don’t count.
It also doesn’t count in the changing room at swimming, or at the park in London.
Or if it’s Miss Rachel, Bounce Patrol, Super Simple Songs, Lion King, Bluey, or a Julia Donaldson adaptation.
We certainly were glued to our screens at the absolute tit she spouted!
A gas leak, and no heating or hot water (she’s ‘booking’ a carbon monoxide alarm
) which was only detected because Nana smelt it. Pizza in the freezing garden was the answer!
A fabulously terrible how to wear coats reel, which she must have returned because she still needed to accept a freebie from Regatta.
The #gifted content in the last thread:
Abbot Lyon advent calendar
Tiba and Marl snowsuits
Regatta coats (Ash and Nana), puddle suits (Alf and Ada), wellies (Alf, despite TNB having bought him some literally days earlier).
Hamleys
Maybe Paultons’s Park and a hotel (with Nana, obv, because Ashley couldn’t parent alone!)
But don’t worry, it’ll all be better when she’s back in London. Even the tube difficulties, escalator vs. double pram, fear of going to London, cost of childcare, and the fact Tommy doesn’t do enough.
I’m sure I’ve forgotten some horrors, so feel free to add any key moments.
Lovely day x
Thread title by @kiraaarrrr
Lots of self-pity from Ashley in the last two weeks, mostly because of the Maternal mental load. Thinking about pumping is hard work, especially when you keep leaking or spilling milk (Elvie must be THRILLED) so she had a discussion with Tommy about what else he could take on.
You know, on top of working full-time, parenting Alf alone, doing all of the tidying up and the cooking, and meeting Ash in London because she can’t manage alone. Come on Tommy, can’t you step up and breastfeed Adeline too?
Alongside complaining about pumping, and the cost of childcare, she dropped both kids at the childminder to go and do Pilates with Tommy!
In her mum era Ashley is ‘bored’ and in bed at 7.30pm but misses ‘my evenings’. Shame all those Jewish and Muslim friends of hers have actual real-life worries, isn’t it.
Ash understands though surely, as she herself was too scared to travel to London. Except for ear piercing (that she couldn’t even have), and took the kids to Battersea to the park (because there aren’t any parks in Brentwood).
Pamela Anderson is her new idol, for going out without make up (said Ash in make up).
Her skin is apparently great because of no gossiping and no negative energy. (We tattlers are fucked then!)
Bingo to every single tattler who predicted crying selfies, because she hates this stage of parenting with Ada.
World Mental Health Day was ‘All About Ashley’ with absolutely no consideration for mentioning self-harm or intrusive thoughts or signposting to support services.
Steph’s Packed Lunch has been cancelled, which Ash hasn’t mentioned, because she’ll probably be devastated that the only exposure she’s had is no more
A trip to the local book shop was a let down because they had no pumpkin books. You know, that super popular story theme for children.
We were treated to her long-awaited screen time reel!
Alf just doesn’t have his iPad now because tv and phones don’t count.
It also doesn’t count in the changing room at swimming, or at the park in London.
Or if it’s Miss Rachel, Bounce Patrol, Super Simple Songs, Lion King, Bluey, or a Julia Donaldson adaptation.
We certainly were glued to our screens at the absolute tit she spouted!
A gas leak, and no heating or hot water (she’s ‘booking’ a carbon monoxide alarm
) which was only detected because Nana smelt it. Pizza in the freezing garden was the answer!A fabulous
The #gifted content in the last thread:
Abbot Lyon advent calendar
Tiba and Marl snowsuits
Regatta coats (Ash and Nana), puddle suits (Alf and Ada), wellies (Alf, despite TNB having bought him some literally days earlier).
Hamleys
Maybe Paultons’s Park and a hotel (with Nana, obv, because Ashley couldn’t parent alone!)
But don’t worry, it’ll all be better when she’s back in London. Even the tube difficulties, escalator vs. double pram, fear of going to London, cost of childcare, and the fact Tommy doesn’t do enough.
I’m sure I’ve forgotten some horrors, so feel free to add any key moments.
Lovely day x
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