Annoying things your work colleagues do all the time? #4

[Emsie]

I would say this too! Most part time mothers have a very well choreographed childcare/work balance so that they can actually come out with some £££ at the end of the month after childcare has been paid for. For me, 9/10 times I’m asked to work overtime, the extra childcare would cost more than I’d get paid for working because you generally get offered a few extra hours at work, but you have to pay your childcare provider the cost of a full day/half day, most places won’t let you pay by the hour. So for an extra 3 hours in the morning I’d earn £33, but it would cost me £70 to put my 2 kids in nursery for an extra morning.

Haha, you can tell I’m used to explaining this to managers if you don’t have kids in childcare you wouldn’t know though!

Also, you generally can’t get extra hours at such short notice!

I actually hate this idea that because part time parents won’t work overtime they’re being lazy. The reality is, we would love the extra money, but it’s not attainable for us!

Yesssss!
And to add... I'm lucky my childcare costs are low now thanks to 30 free hours. But I enjoy my time off with my kids on my nwd and don't want to give that up to work extra hours.
The insinuation that parents are poor and desperate for overtime and should be grateful for a few crumbs gets on my nerves.

 

[TheGlossy]

Are the comments anonymous like my 360s are because if you make the comment but try to keep it general so you’re not obviously identifiable.
Could you put something like needs to work on constructive feedback with key points or ensure praise is given where applicable as this helps team morale.

No, they’re not anonymous unfortunately.

We have the anonymous option, but it seems she didn’t select that one. She can therefore identify who gave her feedback.

I was thinking about saying that she needs to tailor the delivery style of constructive feedback to the audience (polite words to say she needs to check her tone).

However, someone advised me against it because I’m two levels below her and it’s ‘not my fight to fight’. Except I was the direct recipient of that horrid tone. I should be able to express it in a polite manner.

If the point is to just give her nice feedback because I’m too ‘junior’ then I might as well not give any.

 

[sassylash]

One of my colleagues is like this. We rarely get a chance to speak much on our team. But when we do, I or someone else might ask her how her weekend went, for example, and she’ll launch into a monologue for a good 10 minutes about herself and her family.
Won’t ask anyone about themselves or what they’ve done. Never comments if anyone is wearing something new or has a new hairstyle, yet launches into another speech about her hair/weight loss when you’re polite enough to comment on anything she’s had done.
It’s an awful atmosphere generally.
I’ve been there 2 years now, and I honestly think only one of my team knows anything at all about me - and that’s only that I’m married with 2 kids!
Honestly the strangest place I’ve ever worked in.

monologue is the best way to put it

 

[ChastityDingle]

Speaking of emails, and words or phrases used - I worked with a bully a couple of years ago. He was the head of our team, unfortunately.

He used to end emails with 'Tks' and to this day I shudder if I see it on an email or a text, because of him.

 

[JustmeKC]

The company provides the option for the requestor to request either anonymous or identifiable 360 feedback. It’s up to the requestor or to pick their preference. There’s no company restriction in this regard.

My manager voluntarily chose the non-anonymous option.

Luckily, no random person asked me. Some people are over the top with these feedback requests.

That’s so rubbish. Declining to participate sounds like the best of bad options.

 

[Jane Porcupine]

We had to cancel a meeting today as the organiser is off sick. Someone attending the meeting messaged me asking if it's going to be rearranged and that they can 'only do 4-5pm on Friday'. Yeah right.

 

[lightningmurray]

We have an older chap who comes in a few times a month to manage our accounts and he does my fucking head in.

He insists on fiddling with the numbers on the invoices I have already sent, and resending them, this obviously just makes more work for me because the customers then want to know why they have 2 bills for different amounts.

He is not very tech savvy, so doesn't realise I can see the revision history on each one so I know it's him. i am in a senior role and quite a bit younger than him, and he is very judgemental of how I manage certain things so I think he does it to try and belittle me in front of our boss/ clients tbh.

I don't really want to make it 'a thing' and cause problems but what would others do? would you say something to him? I have already mentioned it to our boss as I do have a good relationship with her but she is a bit of a pushover

 

[TheGlossy]

I went for coffee with someone who was supposed to give me advice on certain things. It was our first time meeting and they spent their entire time talking about themselves. I couldn’t even place one word. It was 45 minutes of monologue. I ended up checking out and nodding as they spoke.

Also, they gave me the worst advice ever. I was told don’t ask the same question twice because it will show you’re not listening. I don’t mind people asking me the same question twice because sometimes it doesn’t sink in. More than twice, fine, it may be too much but twice is fine if the topic is complex or if it’s been a while since last discussed.

Some people talk for the sake of being heard.

 

[knickerless]

Please tell me someone on here works nightshift and can relate. I have two colleagues who do this and it puts my back up every time it happens.
We all work permanent nights, 12 hour shifts in healthcare. At times we have paperwork to do and maybe be with a client if they need us, which is often the case. At these times we will be sat down talking just general chat and these people will blatantly sit and speak to you with their eyes closed!! Sometimes feels like working with some druggies. I understand we get tired, when I do I go for a walk or have a coffee. I’ve Tried suggesting both of these and have even opened a window to drop the hint. Anyone else had this or are you a nodder off talker too maybe??

 

[OmgObsessed]

It just hit me, managers are the equivalent of landlords at work. They don't want to do their *job*. They lie and make up shit. Similar to landlords blaming renters. They want praise for the bare minimum. They'll bother everyone on their day off because someone called in. The manager couldn't possibly fill in like they're suppose to so they'd rather bother others.



I honestly feel like I'm just not cut out for work. I can't stand their constant BS. I can't hold in my thoughts when they think it's okay to be snarky. Even my parents wouldn't act this way. Wtf makes them think they can??!


I'm hoping this is just a low IQ thing. I really hope once I switch to a job that requires at least a Masters, there will be less BS.... I know it's likely similar though

 

[flutternutter]

Skivers. We can all do it but at what point do HR actually do their job?

 

[TheGlossy]

Can you not ask your colleagues for a copy of the form, and send it anyway

Unfortunately, I can’t because the request or initiates the form on Workday and picks recipients who will receive the form directly in their Workday inbox. He knows what he is doing - cowardish move. He was out here asking for “no sugar coated feedback” lol. If that’s truly what he wanted, he would have sent it to everyone.

 

[Black.bird]

Thanks for that and will get that sorted when I'm able to do so! I can't edit it at the moment, but hopefully can do it soon!
---
Reuploaded to remove some information so hopefully it's okay!

I've got this new coworker and he is a bit of a troublemaker already. One of the ladies who I work with used to babysit him or something like that and apparently he is not changed since he was four.

He is mid-twenties, the same as me, and he is new to the department. He has been working for the company for a month or two, and with us for a few weeks. I don't know if part of it is him trying to make a good impression on the managers as he is convinced that he is going for a management training program or he is trying to get himself in favour of the department and trying to be a part of it. He is also very open online and to co-workers about his mental health and how he has struggled and tried to harm himself. I am very supportive of mental health and I don't want to be accused of not being so, especially when I have my own family with MH problems and I've had to have a caring role with my dad to an extent because of his.

He has this habit of making up lies about people as well and telling management about them such as 'so and so said this,' or 'I was told that...' He has been bitching about the people who he works with to other people in the department. He told my coworker C that I had apparently given him a headache as I said the same thing about one hundred times when she asked how he was. I have not really spoken to him and I don't know if it was me speaking to the customers as it is a shop we work in and I do follow the same 'script' when I speak to them. C had told him off it and cut him down before he started bitching about me and mentioned that I'm autistic in an attempt to stop him before he makes any more comments about me. At work, my colleagues in the department know about it and it has helped me feel supported in the shop among them as we are a close-knit team.

I don't know why he has a problem with me as I've not really spoken to him as we are a busy shop and there are a lot of customers. When I have, I've been polite to him and I've been helping him out on the till when the shop is busy when I've been doing other jobs. I don't know if I come off as a bit strange because of my autism or if he decided that he doesn't like me as I had to tell him not to block a fire door before. I'm a bit worried about working a shift with him in the next few weeks as I'm worried he might say something that is made up to a manager about me and he is going to get me into trouble even if I have done nothing wrong to him. I do have the feeling that he is going to use the mental health card as a weapon as well in the future, I just get that feeling about him. A few other coworkers have said the same thing about him.

Any advice for dealing with him as I'm a bit worried about the shift that I have with him in the upcoming weeks? I don't know if he is doing this to be on the side of the managers or if he thinks that by moaning about colleagues to others, he is trying to bond with them, but it makes work feel very hostile and I feel like I have to be on the best behaviour with him all the time when I am with him and I feel like I'll be walking on egg shells around him.

He sounds like trouble - even if you keep to yourself (remain pleasant to him but don't chat with him about anything), he'll likely make something up about you anyway! If it was me, I'd confide in a manager what is happening - just to alert them to it - but don't go so far as filing a formal complaint (yet). People like this do eventually trip themselves up - sometimes it will take years, but in my experience it does eventually happen.

Meanwhile, just smile and nod when he talks to you and don't engage.

 

[Heidi88]

I forwarded one person an email yesterday asking for 5 min call today to go through something. My manager asked me to contact her when I asked him a question.

Then she sent me a whopper email and bearing in mind I am new and she is in a very different role 50% went of it went over my head. She then included two other people and its obvious this is more complicated than my manager thought.

One of the two others came back and hasnt a clue and asked me what someone else in another dept said and I havent a clue. This is their area. I set up a call to discuss rather than multiple back and forths which could all have been avoided if the first person I emailed just had a call with me in the first place to find out who I should contact.

 

[ChastityDingle]

manager counts as colleague right?

Most of the time I like her but she never accepts when she is wrong and always tries to pass off any wrong doings as someone elses fault

Told me this morning that a charge i made for a customer was completely wrong, as the account was set up wrong so therefore it has messed up her report for finances and i need to look into ALL the accounts i have created to ensure this doesn’t happen again

She wasn’t happy when i went back to her to inform her, i didnt set up the account, SHE did and i just charged what she had told me per the attched email- she still mumbling and trying to pin something on me

She always does this, not just with me, but everyone!

Oh yes! I had similar with the one I mentioned in my previous post. Could you change the font to such and such on the document... You would do that and next time around it would be wrong, according to her.

She was whining to me one day about something SHE had to update because I didn't do it. I looked at it and said that is my wording. . Which it was and I could have proved it, if needed. She wasn't at all happy.
What a sad sad way to live.

 

[Sheeeet]

Is there a thread to talk about how we hate our jobs and need to escape?

Here it is!

Does anyone hate their job? #2

Old thread: https://tattle.life/threads/does-anyone-hate-their-job.14624/ I am on special leave at the moment and absolutely not looking forward to returning but I haven't got a clue about my return date so I've blocked work out of my mind for the time being. 🤣

tattle.life

 

[no-no]

Not my immediate colleagues, but people across the business have to be chased to the nth degree and I still don’t have what I need from them. I’ve had this as a customer the past few years, too. It seems like everyone only wants to signpost and not do their job.

 

[TheGlossy]

I flew out for this project and this stakeholder I’ve been working with for two years saw me for the first time. After an hour, he said “Oh, are you so and so I normally work with?”. Then he was like “I didn’t recognize you at all, I only recognized you when you started talking because you have a rather distinctive voice”.

Then one of my colleagues started laughing. What is that supposed to mean lol? I don’t know how I should take these comments. Now I’m going to be self-conscious about my voice and face since I clearly don’t look like my group directory picture taken at a photo booth (no retouching therefore). Lol.

 

[emmer_moans]

Was he hot at least??

I sometimes despair at the pics some people at my work put as their outlook/teams photo. It's not bloody Instagram

One of my colleagues has put a cartoon avatar as theirs it's not professional.

 

[mee43]

I would appreciate some perspective.

I posted about how I joined a new team a few months ago. A few days ago, I was asked to do a presentation in front of 70 people. My manager knows I’d never done this and public speaking terrifies me. Fast forward, I do the presentation and the manager wasn’t in attendance.

All good. People apparently loved it. At around 5.30pm when I’m about to log off, I get a ping from my manager asking me to talk. I dial in and they go on a tangent about how some people did not like that I didn’t have my camera on! They said it wasn’t good, that I should have had my camera on and the team culture is one of collaboration.

I explained that my camera was on and if it appeared off when I shared my screen, I apologize but I’m pretty adamant I had it on. Then she goes on a tangent saying she doesn’t want an apology and that she wants to know why my camera is occasionally off (during weekly team meetings with roughly 100 people on and where I’m not a speaker!) I said it’s for personal reasons and I shouldn’t give such justification. Then she goes on a tangent about how she’s not asking for justification. What? You just asked me ‘why’.

Anyways, I apologize, say it was an oversight (even though I 100% had my camera on and maybe turned it off for a second to drink water) and she kept going on a tangent.

At that point, I had enough and I started crying which she quickly gathered and she says ‘this is not a formal reprimand that will go in your performance record, if that’s what you think’ . I go silent because my anxiety went through the roof and she ends the call.

Fast forward, the following day, I log in, no trace of her asking me even as much as an ‘are you OK’. Nothing. I got an email asking for a deck, nothing else.

I was honestly so happy with my presentation and some people even asked me to join their project with leadership as a result of it. She tore it all apart right after. I’ve been feeling distraught ever since because I’ve been in the industry for 8 years, had disagreements with managers, but never cried in front of one and this one pushed me to tears over something so petty.

I‘m genuinely contemplating resigning next week without any other job lined up because I’ve never seen this my entire career and God knows my previous team was awful.

So sorry to read this.
People are truly awful sometimes
Clearly this person feels envious and threatened. Focus on the brilliant feedback and pity someone who has to use negativity to bolster themselves.
It’s a pity you can’t call their bluff by sending a group email to everyone at the presentation saying you understand that it appeared your camera was off and you hope it didn’t affect the presentation too much.
You could copy old jealous features in, and let them see all the positive replies you get back.
Or, (if you’re not as petty as me ) you could focus on all the brilliant feedback you got, polish up your CV, and look for a job elsewhere. When you land one, smile a dazzling smile and talk about how excited you are to be progressing