Annoying things your work colleagues do all the time? #3

[Ensay]

This happened at my husband's old job. The MD (small business) employed a 'random' man into a management role that didn't previously exist. They had a different surname so for months, noone knew. Until someone found out the guy was the MD's son in law!! With no appropriate qualifications for the role He was hopeless (but never called out on it), and noone trusted him or the MD after that.


Ugh I feel for you. I got lumbered with written warning once for daring to mutter to a colleague about a project not working (it was a shambles). Apparently I was being negative and impacting morale. All I had done was utter an opinion to a colleague I thought felt the same but they effing shopped me. I managed to get it down to a verbal warning as they tried to skip several HR stages just to harass me. It would have been a different issue if I had shouted it to the whole room but it was literally only a frustrated whispered moan to a colleague after a very challenging day. I looked for a job after that. Workplaces need to allow for some feedback or allow employees to have a private moan with colleagues. We are human. Places that stamp on you for having a discreet opinion are the worst.

Christ, that's so bad getting a warning just for being honest! I know I sometimes rant about my workplace but I've never heard of anyone getting a warning for that. In fact, one of my colleagues once said -- and I quote -- "This project couldn't deliver a bleeping parcel". I just laughed as he was usually plain speaking and he was right on that occasion.

Pretty sure he'd have been frogmarched out the building if he worked at the same place as you!

Thing is, it's obvious when people are told off for "being negative" they know you've got a point. If they didn't agree, they'd take more of an interest as to why you felt that way.

 

[emmer_moans]

Christ, that's so bad getting a warning just for being honest! I know I sometimes rant about my workplace but I've never heard of anyone getting a warning for that. In fact, one of my colleagues once said -- and I quote -- "This project couldn't deliver a bleeping parcel". I just laughed as he was usually plain speaking and he was right on that occasion.

Pretty sure he'd have been frogmarched out the building if he worked at the same place as you!

Thing is, it's obvious when people are told off for "being negative" they know you've got a point. If they didn't agree, they'd take more of an interest as to why you felt that way.

Yep, annoying thing was I was hitting all my targets and more in that job, whilst others had (I don’t blame them) given up. Yes that one comment (which was hearsay because the manager didn’t hear it themselves!) they tried to get me in front of HR for without so much as a verbal warning. That was my first job out of uni and it broke my soul! I’ve been both unlucky and lucky in my jobs.

Your last point is spot on, if employees are feeling overloaded or have genuine feedback, it shouldn’t be a punishable offence. They should be listening in order to improve things.

Nowadays I pretty much keep my thoughts at work to myself, there’s always a jobsworth to stab you in the back otherwise.

 

[Ensay]

Yep, annoying thing was I was hitting all my targets and more in that job, whilst others had (I don’t blame them) given up. Yes that one comment (which was hearsay because the manager didn’t hear it themselves!) they tried to get me in front of HR for without so much as a verbal warning. That was my first job out of uni and it broke my soul! I’ve been both unlucky and lucky in my jobs.

Your last point is spot on, if employees are feeling overloaded or have genuine feedback, it shouldn’t be a punishable offence. They should be listening in order to improve things.

Nowadays I pretty much keep my thoughts at work to myself, there’s always a jobsworth to stab you in the back otherwise.

Yeah I can definitely understand why you'd feel that way. It's a once bitten, twice shy kind of scenario.

Any business that doesn't welcome staff feedback isn't going to be a good place to work IMO. We have regular staff feedback surveys and when they started I thought it was just management paying lip service. But as the scores are published, they can't get away with sweeping it under the carpet and you can tell management actually does at least try and do things to address some of the feedback. It's not perfect, but it does increase staff morale.

 

[HoGi]

Yeah I can definitely understand why you'd feel that way. It's a once bitten, twice shy kind of scenario.

Any business that doesn't welcome staff feedback isn't going to be a good place to work IMO. We have regular staff feedback surveys and when they started I thought it was just management paying lip service. But as the scores are published, they can't get away with sweeping it under the carpet and you can tell management actually does at least try and do things to address some of the feedback. It's not perfect, but it does increase staff morale.

I work in public sector and we have an employee survey annually.

The scores are published and duck all is ever done about it.

At a team level changes are made but at a higher corporate level nothing changes.

So the big ticket whinges I.e pay, not enough staff, workloads too high, not recruiting, too much red tape etc. Nothing ever changes

Instead we just get 100 emails a week about wellbeing and screen breaks.

 

[Ensay]

I work in public sector and we have an employee survey annually.

The scores are published and duck all is ever done about it.

At a team level changes are made but at a higher corporate level nothing changes.

So the big ticket whinges I.e pay, not enough staff, workloads too high, not recruiting, too much red tape etc. Nothing ever changes

Instead we just get 100 emails a week about wellbeing and screen breaks.

Ah okay, I'm private sector but I have friends who are in the public sector and they say similar things to you. It must be pretty demoralising.

At our place they do presentations where they compare recent scores to previous scores and say what measures have been put in place, or are being considered, to address the feedback. So saying "we scored the same or worse and have done naff all about it" won't wash. It didn't always used to be that way, I think it was all kicked off when we had a new MD. Of course, I'm sure they do quick wins and ignore some of the feedback, but it's a start at least.

 

[HoGi]

Ah okay, I'm private sector but I have friends who are in the public sector and they say similar things to you. It must be pretty demoralising.

At our place they do presentations where they compare recent scores to previous scores and say what measures have been put in place, or are being considered, to address the feedback. So saying "we scored the same or worse and have done naff all about it" won't wash. It didn't always used to be that way, I think it was all kicked off when we had a new MD. Of course, I'm sure they do quick wins and ignore some of the feedback, but it's a start at least.

Yeh our scores are published with a comparison to last year and the public sector benchmark. They will ignore the fact that 40% of people are unhappy about something and focus on the fact we are 3% above benchmark or the one question that has gone up 15% that will be something like "we get enough communications on wellbeing". Neglecting the fact that communications about wellbeing don't equate to good wellbeing.

 

[Pesky Tarian]

Yeh our scores are published with a comparison to last year and the public sector benchmark. They will ignore the fact that 40% of people are unhappy about something and focus on the fact we are 3% above benchmark or the one question that has gone up 15% that will be something like "we get enough communications on wellbeing". Neglecting the fact that communications about wellbeing don't equate to good wellbeing.

I could have written this myself. However last year my company linked the results to our bonuses and suddenly everything was peachy .

 

[HoGi]

I could have written this myself. However last year my company linked the results to our bonuses and suddenly everything was peachy .

Wow talk about incentivising people to lie!

 

[Mamacita]

I could have written this myself. However last year my company linked the results to our bonuses and suddenly everything was peachy .

Wtf how does that even make sense, what's even a point of doing a survey then

 

[TheGlossy]

When people only give you information on 1/3 of what they actually want from you and then come back to you saying: "XYZ is missing". Well, it wouldn't be missing if you had specified you needed it as well. I don't have crystal ball.

I am working on this project and was told to provide some confirmations / information. However, it was not specified in what format this was to be provided. Therefore, I provided the information in its original format and the person came back saying: "The Excel is missing". Excuse me - Excel, what Excel? It was never specified the information had to be included in an Excel. It is there, just not in an Excel format. If you want it in an Excel, then specify it at the start.

They basically want me to transfer lines drafted in bullet points in Word to Excel. Smh.

 

[Heidi88]

I'm currently planning on moving jobs and have a few interviews lined up. I sometimes feel I over analyse or exaggerate issues in work as the company i previously worked in was a dream.

Part of this questioning comes from my manager as i sometimes feels she is gaslighting me. She withholds vital info and there is definitely gatekeeping on her part in terms of info that would make my job easier. She minimises tasks, freaks out any any mistakes (we are a start up so mistakes/issues are going to happen) and expects massive system implementations to be seamlessly implemented and implemented yesterday and that they should have no impact on day to day. When IT screw up their part of the implementation and we are delayed its my team she gives out to. All issues she has comes back to my team. I called her out on a few things a few months ago particularly her treatment of my team and her negativity. I was professional but our relationship has soured even further since.

Yesterday I was talking to a colleague about a suggested improvement. Only 3 of us in the office incl my manager. Both of us report to my manager and we are both managers ourselves. We chatted for around 3 mins on this improvement when she then proceeded to say "get back to work x report is due today". It was directed more at my colleage as he has the deadline not me. I rolled around in my seat and turned back to my desk but I felt like a child being told off my my mother.

The colleague asked me on IM for us both to bring it up with her together. I said No as my last conversation with my manager on how she treats us made things worse and the comment was also directed more at him not me. He brought it up and she said "i needed that report".

This is tip of the iceberg in terms of how she treats us but given we were talking about work I feel like we are treated like kids.

She also constantly listens in to everything we say so despite the fact she is sitting on the other side of the office and I am on a call with a member of my team going through their questions as they are new she buts in. As a result more junior team members are terrified to speak as they are afraid of saying something wrong. Today I just mentioned one new client while on the call and she jumps in about them but I had all the info. I had headphones on and was speaking to my colleague and as she couldnt hear my manager she was confused when I spoke out to her and I had to say I was on a call. This has also been brought up to her and she just said that she gets frustrated if she hears people say something wrong but she does it even when its not a correction. I feel like I am constantly being watched.

As I said some of this is tip of the iceberg. She has very blatantly lied to me about a work thing which made it sound like my team arent utilising a temp resource and then threatened to remove this resource from us. She had said a colleague told me this resource was giving out about a lack of work but i know this colleague over 10 years and trust them and he said this didnt happen. She has thrown documents at people. She has very obvious favourites and me and my team are not part of that group.

I suppose besides ranting I want to know of people think this is normal behaviour? As i said my last office was a dream place to work.

 

[emmer_moans]

I'm currently planning on moving jobs and have a few interviews lined up. I sometimes feel I over analyse or exaggerate issues in work as the company i previously worked in was a dream.

Part of this questioning comes from my manager as i sometimes feels she is gaslighting me. She withholds vital info and there is definitely gatekeeping on her part in terms of info that would make my job easier. She minimises tasks, freaks out any any mistakes (we are a start up so mistakes/issues are going to happen) and expects massive system implementations to be seamlessly implemented and implemented yesterday and that they should have no impact on day to day. When IT screw up their part of the implementation and we are delayed its my team she gives out to. All issues she has comes back to my team. I called her out on a few things a few months ago particularly her treatment of my team and her negativity. I was professional but our relationship has soured even further since.

Yesterday I was talking to a colleague about a suggested improvement. Only 3 of us in the office incl my manager. Both of us report to my manager and we are both managers ourselves. We chatted for around 3 mins on this improvement when she then proceeded to say "get back to work x report is due today". It was directed more at my colleage as he has the deadline not me. I rolled around in my seat and turned back to my desk but I felt like a child being told off my my mother.

The colleague asked me on IM for us both to bring it up with her together. I said No as my last conversation with my manager on how she treats us made things worse and the comment was also directed more at him not me. He brought it up and she said "i needed that report".

This is tip of the iceberg in terms of how she treats us but given we were talking about work I feel like we are treated like kids.

She also constantly listens in to everything we say so despite the fact she is sitting on the other side of the office and I am on a call with a member of my team going through their questions as they are new she buts in. As a result more junior team members are terrified to speak as they are afraid of saying something wrong. Today I just mentioned one new client while on the call and she jumps in about them but I had all the info. I had headphones on and was speaking to my colleague and as she couldnt hear my manager she was confused when I spoke out to her and I had to say I was on a call. This has also been brought up to her and she just said that she gets frustrated if she hears people say something wrong but she does it even when its not a correction. I feel like I am constantly being watched.

As I said some of this is tip of the iceberg. She has very blatantly lied to me about a work thing which made it sound like my team arent utilising a temp resource and then threatened to remove this resource from us. She had said a colleague told me this resource was giving out about a lack of work but i know this colleague over 10 years and trust them and he said this didnt happen. She has thrown documents at people. She has very obvious favourites and me and my team are not part of that group.

I suppose besides ranting I want to know of people think this is normal behaviour? As i said my last office was a dream place to work.

Ugh, it definitely sounds like she is the problem. In my previous job one of my managers acted a bit like this, very snippy, always interrupting, always criticising, and then tried to be saccharine mother hen to us, but then scold us and treat us like children. She is exactly the reason I took an internal transfer to another department within that company at the time. Your boss needs to trust you and the other colleague to do the job, and stop with the micromanaging and interruptions. Does she have a boss?

 

[CatCafe234]

I work in public sector and we have an employee survey annually.

The scores are published and duck all is ever done about it.

At a team level changes are made but at a higher corporate level nothing changes.

So the big ticket whinges I.e pay, not enough staff, workloads too high, not recruiting, too much red tape etc. Nothing ever changes

Instead we just get 100 emails a week about wellbeing and screen breaks.

Ahhhh, the well-being emails. Workload too high? Well have you tried a bubble bath? Bullying at work? Try taking a nice long walk. Recruitment freeze impacting your team’s morale? Maybe you should take up yoga. Worried about being able to afford food? Sign up to this scheme where if you drop £100 on a supermarket gift card they’ll give you an extra £2.50! It’s not a pay rise but it’ll sure feel like one!

In the meantime, you can also talk to one of our ‘highly trained’ (don’t laugh) Well-being Champions*.

*known workplace gossip and brown-noser who wouldn’t hesitate to shop anyone in if it meant a promotion.

 

[mee43]

I'm currently planning on moving jobs and have a few interviews lined up. I sometimes feel I over analyse or exaggerate issues in work as the company i previously worked in was a dream.

Part of this questioning comes from my manager as i sometimes feels she is gaslighting me. She withholds vital info and there is definitely gatekeeping on her part in terms of info that would make my job easier. She minimises tasks, freaks out any any mistakes (we are a start up so mistakes/issues are going to happen) and expects massive system implementations to be seamlessly implemented and implemented yesterday and that they should have no impact on day to day. When IT screw up their part of the implementation and we are delayed its my team she gives out to. All issues she has comes back to my team. I called her out on a few things a few months ago particularly her treatment of my team and her negativity. I was professional but our relationship has soured even further since.

Yesterday I was talking to a colleague about a suggested improvement. Only 3 of us in the office incl my manager. Both of us report to my manager and we are both managers ourselves. We chatted for around 3 mins on this improvement when she then proceeded to say "get back to work x report is due today". It was directed more at my colleage as he has the deadline not me. I rolled around in my seat and turned back to my desk but I felt like a child being told off my my mother.

The colleague asked me on IM for us both to bring it up with her together. I said No as my last conversation with my manager on how she treats us made things worse and the comment was also directed more at him not me. He brought it up and she said "i needed that report".

This is tip of the iceberg in terms of how she treats us but given we were talking about work I feel like we are treated like kids.

She also constantly listens in to everything we say so despite the fact she is sitting on the other side of the office and I am on a call with a member of my team going through their questions as they are new she buts in. As a result more junior team members are terrified to speak as they are afraid of saying something wrong. Today I just mentioned one new client while on the call and she jumps in about them but I had all the info. I had headphones on and was speaking to my colleague and as she couldnt hear my manager she was confused when I spoke out to her and I had to say I was on a call. This has also been brought up to her and she just said that she gets frustrated if she hears people say something wrong but she does it even when its not a correction. I feel like I am constantly being watched.

As I said some of this is tip of the iceberg. She has very blatantly lied to me about a work thing which made it sound like my team arent utilising a temp resource and then threatened to remove this resource from us. She had said a colleague told me this resource was giving out about a lack of work but i know this colleague over 10 years and trust them and he said this didnt happen. She has thrown documents at people. She has very obvious favourites and me and my team are not part of that group.

I suppose besides ranting I want to know of people think this is normal behaviour? As i said my last office was a dream place to work.

Sounds like a complete nightmare and a control freak. I hope you have success with your interviews.
The only way people like that learn, in my opinion, is when they lose all their good staff.

A colleague let my boss know yesterday that I’d not (they thought) done something I was supposed to do.
I was able to prove that I had, and it turned out that it was them who’d not known how to check it properly. But I hate that kind of behaviour. If I think someone has simply overlooked something when I pick it up, I quietly get on and do it. I don’t agree with nitpicking and grassing on every little oversight.
I was subjected to yet another lesson in how to do something by my boss, before I was able to get a word in edge ways and prove I’d done it properly in the first place.
Then it was all brushed over and labelled as good for us all to have a chat about procedures !

 

[Timz]

Sounds like a complete nightmare and a control freak. I hope you have success with your interviews.
The only way people like that learn, in my opinion, is when they lose all their good staff.

A colleague let my boss know yesterday that I’d not (they thought) done something I was supposed to do.
I was able to prove that I had, and it turned out that it was them who’d not known how to check it properly. But I hate that kind of behaviour. If I think someone has simply overlooked something when I pick it up, I quietly get on and do it. I don’t agree with nitpicking and grassing on every little oversight.
I was subjected to yet another lesson in how to do something by my boss, before I was able to get a word in edge ways and prove I’d done it properly in the first place.
Then it was all brushed over and labelled as good for us all to have a chat about procedures !

That’s also happened to me recently. A colleague (who should really retire -and doesn’t come in office anymore) was pushing me for something to be done on Friday’s which is my contracted day off. She put something in our IM chat which peeved me first thing on a Monday morning as I’ve had my workload increased having to find invoices she could not be bothered to search for - considering it was her POs, a thankless task! Anyway, our boss picked up on the tense chat and booked random 1:1 and team meetings. The colleague who’s been ignoring me said “oh it’s good to have a regular meeting like this and pick up little things” (lol as we’ve gone through doing the same how-to’s x many times on screen, when we’ve not had an in-person meeting this year!). Now all of a sudden with micromanaging, we are subjected to weekly Monday team meetings

So, when I come back from my leave I just know they will have decided things without me. However, I can point out they’re making decisions without when it’s a “team objective” lol elephants don’t forget

 

[Heidi88]

Ugh, it definitely sounds like she is the problem. In my previous job one of my managers acted a bit like this, very snippy, always interrupting, always criticising, and then tried to be saccharine mother hen to us, but then scold us and treat us like children. She is exactly the reason I took an internal transfer to another department within that company at the time. Your boss needs to trust you and the other colleague to do the job, and stop with the micromanaging and interruptions. Does she have a boss?

Ya, she has two bosses really but one isnt based in our office and the other is rarely in as they travel a lot. I wouldnt say anything to them and i think one of them would find nothing wrong with what she does.

I find myself so unmotivated at the moment because of her so tasks are taking longer and its a vicious circle that I feel myself questioning my ability but I know its her. At least i hope it is. I never had this before. She has made snide references fo the fact most companies arent like my last one as I sometimes make reference to them.

 

[Chels91]

I’ll apologise in advance for my rant but i am so sick of being singled out at work just because I have children I’m a single parent & this seems to infuriate my manger a lot as it’s frown in my face at every opportunity! I purposely only booked a weeks leave in 6 weeks holidays while other staff members have had 2-3 weeks. I have asked to book a day off for a funeral & been told there’s concerns over how much leave I am am taking at the moment (Iv had 5 days off) I get comments in my 1-1 all the time how I put my kids first like I am the only parent on earth to ever do that

 

[StephenTJackson]

I’ll apologise in advance for my rant but i am so sick of being singled out at work just because I have children I’m a single parent & this seems to infuriate my manger a lot as it’s frown in my face at every opportunity! I purposely only booked a weeks leave in 6 weeks holidays while other staff members have had 2-3 weeks. I have asked to book a day off for a funeral & been told there’s concerns over how much leave I am am taking at the moment (Iv had 5 days off) I get comments in my 1-1 all the time how I put my kids first like I am the only parent on earth to ever do that

If you only use your allowed holiday allowance, give required amounts of notice, they can't reasonably stop you. If it carries on there is probably a lawsuit avenue, because they can't stop you using your holidays you are contractually allowed.

I've got a manager who moans about people taking holidays, and one of the team is actually scarred to ask him to book holidays off, she asks me or the other supervisor instead. It's bullshit.

 

[petitspois]

I’ll apologise in advance for my rant but i am so sick of being singled out at work just because I have children I’m a single parent & this seems to infuriate my manger a lot as it’s frown in my face at every opportunity! I purposely only booked a weeks leave in 6 weeks holidays while other staff members have had 2-3 weeks. I have asked to book a day off for a funeral & been told there’s concerns over how much leave I am am taking at the moment (Iv had 5 days off) I get comments in my 1-1 all the time how I put my kids first like I am the only parent on earth to ever do that

This is all kinds of wrong. I'd suggest making specific notes about what was said and when and taking it to your line manager's manager. Hopefully, your Manager will get their wrist slapped and treat you with kid gloves from then on.

 

[Chels91]

This is all kinds of wrong. I'd suggest making specific notes about what was said and when and taking it to your line manager's manager. Hopefully, your Manager will get their wrist slapped and treat you with kid gloves from then on.

iv tried this before when comments were made about contraception at my return to work following a miscarriage & a few out of line comments in the same meeting I went straight to her manager and was told she means no harm and was just looking out for my well-being I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall half the time