Been thereDid anyone ever come across a colleague who can't do enough for everyone, says all the right things, gets involved, smiles and is positive but you just don't trust them and their vibe seems off despite everyone else's seeming to rate them highly?
I sometimes think there are people with who are good at their job etc. and with whom there’s no real problem, but who can be really difficult when you have to work with them in the wrong context. As an example, a few years ago I ended up managing someone who applied for a role and didn’t get it, and I did. They were very well thought of and did good work, but my God they were a challenge to manage because they resented me for being where I was. Literally everything I said or did was an issue or a problem and was met with muttering, huffing and eye-rolling, and tbh, it got to the point where their behaviour bordered on bullying - and it didn’t help that senior managers thought the sun shone out of their backside.The reason I ask is the ex colleague I mentioned upthread who was overly competitive and blocked my chances for advancement reached out to me on LinkedIn. She was gushing about how glad she was to see me doing well elsewhereI clicked on her page to see what she was up to and I see she managed a successful project and all my ex colleagues were telling her what an asset she is. I should feel indifferent as I've long since moved on but all I feel is bitter and resentful. Sure she's good at her job and alot more upbeat and forthcoming than I am, but she's only a great colleague to those who pose no threat to her. She certainly wasn't an asset to me, meddling in my workload and excluding me from meetings and events. It got me thinking that having a persona and being overly peppy seems to get you further than keeping your head down but working hard.
I can totally see how your situation would be difficult to navigate if your subordinate was acting out and refusing to accept your role. In my case, I didn't report to this person but she was a grade higher in an adjacent role and she wanted to manage role so she could control it. She had my card marked as one to watch from the day I started, so was cold and aloof with me and warm and personable to everyone else. She officiously meddled in my work load (having a more strategic insight attending higher level meetings) she would exclude me from meetings and events where she felt I'd have visibility from senior managers. She'd piggyback on my comments in meetings and go away and expand on my ideas. Whatever I did she was always one step ahead of me. It was also a case you could construe as bullying except she was so savvy that she always towed the line of professionalism. I felt it would be twisted if I raised if with management as she was SO highly regarded and made herself indispensile. In the end i didnt feel our horses were even running in same race, so I kept my head down, did my work and moved on - except I can't really forget that she tried to pigeon-hole me because she felt a tinge of threat about me. That's not what a would be leader should do.I sometimes think there are people with who are good at their job etc. and with whom there’s no real problem, but who can be really difficult when you have to work with them in the wrong context. As an example, a few years ago I ended up managing someone who applied for a role and didn’t get it, and I did. They were very well thought of and did good work, but my God they were a challenge to manage because they resented me for being where I was. Literally everything I said or did was an issue or a problem and was met with muttering, huffing and eye-rolling, and tbh, it got to the point where their behaviour bordered on bullying - and it didn’t help that senior managers thought the sun shone out of their backside.
I have no doubt that if we in a situation where we were peers and I wasn’t perceived as competition we would have got on fine and worked well together, but it was just the context of our work relationship and a bit of a lack of maturity on their side. Not a lot I can say in terms of managing it - my philosophy is work is work, it is not prison sentence and if something doesn’t work for me, I move on.
Not quite the same but a bully boy slipped through my radar, and I am usually very good at sussing people out.
Sweet KarmaI worked in a project team a few years back that had a lot of vendors sitting in with us.
There was a woman who worked for one of the vendors, who gave me a very bad feeling from day one ... just the sight of her sent a shiver down my spine. She was incredibly sweet - sickly sweet - but I would often catch her giving people the evil eye when she thought they weren't looking. A couple of times when we were both working late, she'd let rip and tell me how she hated her job and would start listing what was wrong with each and every one in the project team. It was so bizarre - very Jekyll and Hyde-ish.
We sat with our backs to each other and a couple of times I would feel her watching me, which would be proven to be the case when I spun around. I'd ask politely if she needed me for anything, and she'd just grunt.
When I took leave, she made an appointment with my line manager (who didn't sit with us, nor did he have any sort of involvement with her as a vendor) to express an interest in applying for my job if I ever decided to leave! She also made out to him that I was extremely unhappy. This was all lies - I kept my conversations with her to a minimum and never expressed dissatisfaction with my job. I only found out she'd said all this when he invited me out for coffee and said he had made some initial progress with getting me a transfer to another project. I was absolutely furious and told him that I thought she was untrustworthy and out to cause trouble. His response was to ask if I was jealous of her because she was younger; I honestly could not believe he asked that, especially as I'm someone who is very appreciative and respectful of rising talent.
I moved on - to a new organisation - a few months later, joining a project manager I'd previously worked for at this place (who couldn't stand our line manager). At that point, the vendor woman did take up my old role but was let go after a few weeks for telling porkies in an effort to cover her butt on something quite major! She'd also been acting like a complete bitch to a couple of the project assistants, dumping work on them at the 11th hour and blaming them for her mistakes. #Karma. My former line manager asked if I would come back and admitted he should've listened to me, but I had great pleasure in telling him to take a hike (nicely, of course).
Can you suggest a 15 min phone catch up twice a week around what needs to be done?Could I ask for some advice on an annoying colleague related issue?
This lady, who I have never met, works in a similar, yet different department to me. We need to communicate, which is fine but at the moment she keeps replying to emails, which I am copied in to telling me it is one for me to sort or can you do this etc. This woman is not my manager, and although I understand she wants these things done, I am a grown adult capable of reading my own emails and taking action. Is there a polite way of telling her to stop it? My inbox is so confusing because I will deal with an issue, and then have her a few emails up sending me a 'can you do this please' message for no reason
Perhaps tell her you're trying to avoid double handling so please can she not forward anything you've already been cc'd in to.Could I ask for some advice on an annoying colleague related issue?
This lady, who I have never met, works in a similar, yet different department to me. We need to communicate, which is fine but at the moment she keeps replying to emails, which I am copied in to telling me it is one for me to sort or can you do this etc. This woman is not my manager, and although I understand she wants these things done, I am a grown adult capable of reading my own emails and taking action. Is there a polite way of telling her to stop it? My inbox is so confusing because I will deal with an issue, and then have her a few emails up sending me a 'can you do this please' message for no reason
That's so annoying. Tell her in a polite email that you are trying to reduce unnecessary/unproductive email traffic as a way of working more efficiently, and that you would appreciate not being forwarded emails that you've already been copied in to.Could I ask for some advice on an annoying colleague related issue?
This lady, who I have never met, works in a similar, yet different department to me. We need to communicate, which is fine but at the moment she keeps replying to emails, which I am copied in to telling me it is one for me to sort or can you do this etc. This woman is not my manager, and although I understand she wants these things done, I am a grown adult capable of reading my own emails and taking action. Is there a polite way of telling her to stop it? My inbox is so confusing because I will deal with an issue, and then have her a few emails up sending me a 'can you do this please' message for no reason
If she isn't effectively dishing out work to you over and above your normal and just reminding you of your job then I'd send her an email something likeCould I ask for some advice on an annoying colleague related issue?
This lady, who I have never met, works in a similar, yet different department to me. We need to communicate, which is fine but at the moment she keeps replying to emails, which I am copied in to telling me it is one for me to sort or can you do this etc. This woman is not my manager, and although I understand she wants these things done, I am a grown adult capable of reading my own emails and taking action. Is there a polite way of telling her to stop it? My inbox is so confusing because I will deal with an issue, and then have her a few emails up sending me a 'can you do this please' message for no reason
I could get my friend to hurl a mouse at her ? lolCould I ask for some advice on an annoying colleague related issue?
This lady, who I have never met, works in a similar, yet different department to me. We need to communicate, which is fine but at the moment she keeps replying to emails, which I am copied in to telling me it is one for me to sort or can you do this etc. This woman is not my manager, and although I understand she wants these things done, I am a grown adult capable of reading my own emails and taking action. Is there a polite way of telling her to stop it? My inbox is so confusing because I will deal with an issue, and then have her a few emails up sending me a 'can you do this please' message for no reason
She sounds concerningly illiterate for someone working in a classroom.She shouted at me 'THE PINK PAPER IS FOR BEST!'.
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