Anna Mathur

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I did used to really like Anna, but the book thing has pissed me off.

She curated a whole feed around being a down-to-earth, busy mum, running a house with three kids while her husband works away during the week. Relatable! I'm just like you! Blah blah blah.

Turns out the whole bleeping time she was writing a book! She definitely didn't do that without massive amounts of behind the scenes help. Why couldn't she just be honest? I thought she was being real with us, when in truth she's been upstairs writing from 9-3 while the nanny was looking after the kids and whipping the hoover round. Not as relatable is it?

The way she announced it was like: 'oh I just knocked out a book in between cooking chicken nuggets and doing the night feeds'. It's a lie. And it's lies like that which make women feel inadequate.

'If she managed to write a book while single-handedly looking after three pre-schoolers during the week, why can't I? I can just about manage to blow dry my hair in the morning and remember which day to put the bins out. Why am I so crap? I feel a failure.'

Because it's balls.

We could all churn out 300 pages of mediocre mum-lit if we had six uninterrupted hours to ourselves every day.
This is exactly what turns people off influencers. You articulated it perfectly.
 
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I honestly have never got the impression from her that she tries to say she ISNT priviliged?

& just because she is fortunate enough to have help (definitely jealous!), doesnt mean she doesnt still get stressed & flustered like other mums? Surely as she is addressing anxiety, shes right to say if shes feeling all over the place? Even the most priviliged people feel depressed or anxious sometimes. I was due to become a social worker and it was discussed so often that its often seen as a positive when people have experienced hardship themselves as it offers an insight that someone unaffected doesnt have. Isnt this the same?

(Ive recently started following her again so its interesting to see how shes been perceived)

I'm not sure if you have noticed but her tone is very passive aggressive? For example instead of saying her husband is looking after kids in the garden which is a blessing and great help, Anna would say Tarun has been in the garden all day, not sure what's wrong with him, he has been there whole quarantine and it still doesn't look that great.

Another example Anna would not mention how she is so lucky to have an amazing house and lovely children and they went for holiday for Florence's birthday instead it would be a long winded post on Florence's birthday moaning about how hard it was to be on holiday with 3 kids and everyday was manic and chaotic and horrible and has triggered her anxiety. It's just how negative she is constantly that you constantly feel awkward watching her stories.

Anna never mentions how she is so lucky in life to have so many nice things. Has she even done a post on it? She is constantly talking about her life giving her anxiety in some form of other. Have I missed stories or posts where Anna has mentioned her gratefulness for her life?

I also think she doesn't mention anything nice about her life because it would made others feel bad because her page is focused solely on anxiety and feeling down about yourself that a little bit mention of her privilege might trigger something.

Anyway the bottom line is that Anna is a business not your friend. She is not on Instagram to make friends, she is there to sell her book and services. You shouldn't think that reading her posts would cure your anxiety. You need to see a therapist albeit it may be Anna. An Instagram post is not your solution to happiness.

Also are you Anna because you really like her and are somehow found your way on her gossip forum lol? Only joking
 
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She screams privilege but that doesn't get her followers or praise. So instead she very carefully and stealthily creates scenarios of stress and chaos (messy kitchen, unmade bed, teary selfie, kids being annoying, struggling on alone during the week). This then allows her to preach to us about all the feels and write her lengthy captions about anxiety, depression, worry, motherhood, pnd and any other ailment commonly associated with motherhood. I've seen this tactic a lot and was able to recognise it from the start but so many doesn't and now she's applying emotional pressure on her followers to buy her book. I'm the early days it was the overpriced cards. She's a complete charlatan.

It's the fake, contrived creation of real life scenarios mums face that is the most disingenuous... do you worry about being a mum? Fed up of the kids? Need a good cry? Feeling anxious? Struggling with juggling? All thesequestions make her seem relatable, but sadly for her the facade is dropping now. We are in a pandemic and have zero interest in lining your already very filled pockets anna.

The reality is she a wealthy, white rich woman who wants to make money from a vulnerable and already massively exploited demographic.
 
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I'm not sure if you have noticed but her tone is very passive aggressive? For example instead of saying her husband is looking after kids in the garden which is a blessing and great help, Anna would say Tarun has been in the garden all day, not sure what's wrong with him, he has been there whole quarantine and it still doesn't look that great.

Another example Anna would not mention how she is so lucky to have an amazing house and lovely children and they went for holiday for Florence's birthday instead it would be a long winded post on Florence's birthday moaning about how hard it was to be on holiday with 3 kids and everyday was manic and chaotic and horrible and has triggered her anxiety. It's just how negative she is constantly that you constantly feel awkward watching her stories.

Anna never mentions how she is so lucky in life to have so many nice things. Has she even done a post on it? She is constantly talking about her life giving her anxiety in some form of other. Have I missed stories or posts where Anna has mentioned her gratefulness for her life?

I also think she doesn't mention anything nice about her life because it would made others feel bad because her page is focused solely on anxiety and feeling down about yourself that a little bit mention of her privilege might trigger something.

Anyway the bottom line is that Anna is a business not your friend. She is not on Instagram to make friends, she is there to sell her book and services. You shouldn't think that reading her posts would cure your anxiety. You need to see a therapist albeit it may be Anna. An Instagram post is not your solution to happiness.

Also are you Anna because you really like her and are somehow found your way on her gossip forum lol? Only joking
Sat in my crappy cramped house and feral kids, definitely not anna 😂 I just like to see the discussion and how people get different things from people 🤐

I dont think anyone HAS to publicly acknowlege their privilege to that extent (generally).. but I do see how it comes off as contrived when shes selling her serviced as a therapist. Definitely agree no one should be viewing her as a friend or a cure via instagram. She is marketing a product, a service, and shes just adding her human side to it.

She screams privilege but that doesn't get her followers or praise. So instead she very carefully and stealthily creates scenarios of stress and chaos (messy kitchen, unmade bed, teary selfie, kids being annoying, struggling on alone during the week). This then allows her to preach to us about all the feels and write her lengthy captions about anxiety, depression, worry, motherhood, pnd and any other ailment commonly associated with motherhood. I've seen this tactic a lot and was able to recognise it from the start but so many doesn't and now she's applying emotional pressure on her followers to buy her book. I'm the early days it was the overpriced cards. She's a complete charlatan.

It's the fake, contrived creation of real life scenarios mums face that is the most disingenuous... do you worry about being a mum? Fed up of the kids? Need a good cry? Feeling anxious? Struggling with juggling? All thesequestions make her seem relatable, but sadly for her the facade is dropping now. We are in a pandemic and have zero interest in lining your already very filled pockets anna.

The reality is she a wealthy, white rich woman who wants to make money from a vulnerable and already massively exploited demographic.
Yeah thats well put. Mothers definitely have been monetised and exploited. Those cards of hers were rit, werent they? Never saw the attraction with them. Thefatfunnyone even tried to sell them. Nah.

I dont know though, Im a soft rit, and always lean in when someone talks about stresses and depression etc. She definitely wouldnt share the same stresses I have, but doesnt mean hers arent valid or (always) contrived? I did personally resonate alot with her about PND and a second child etc. Im not an avid follower anymore, shes there but I dont watch all her stories anymore. Maybe I will so I can see if I spot these things you guys have said.

Lockdown has also totally frazzled my head and im missing discussions, and people to talk to 😂🤐 i never usually post so much!
 
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Anna you are on this thread and you are good at trying to hide your true persona.

I wish you well in your sales job but please stop bleeping patronising us all.

How many Instagrammers have written books now and they've all tanked. I for one am glad the pandemic has curtailed the shameless exploitation somewhat.
 
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Yes I completely agree that Anna is on this thread and is constantly engaging with feedback here.

I agree that no one has to declare their privilege so much on social media but then again no one has to moan and complain about their problems on social media so much. Remember don't complain, don't explain.

Anna is constantly complaining and hence the constant need to explain with messy kitchen and home and messy face.

She is a very privileged white woman with no financial worries, her children are healthy and lovely, husband who is lovely and looks after her so much. My point is that she is not in the same boat as the audience she targets. People are so naive and it's easy to exploit them with their vulnerabilities and problems.

What I want to say is Anna is not in the same situation as the Karen who is buying her cards.

If buying her cards really helped anxiety and reading her book really helped anxiety, then why does Anna still have anxiety? All the books in the world can't cure anxiety. You have to work on it everyday little by little and being negative, passive aggressive and whingy all day is not the way to do it!!!

I hate when all these privileged influencers and celebrities say we are all in the same boat. No we are not in the same boat!!! We may be in the same storm but our boats are very very different.

Alot of mums in this country can't even provide more than necessities for their children and have anxiety and post natal depression but they are not in the same boat as Anna.

I really really think that your circumstances in life really play a part in your personality, mental health and lifestyle in general.
 
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I really really think that your circumstances in life really play a part in your personality, mental health and lifestyle in general.
Of course, thats what builds you as a person. Generally I actually agree with you guys, just abit soft when it comes to MH stuff. Hadnt given enough thought to how it is actually exploitative though. Its easy to kind of blank that out when its a subject like mental health & when its from a professional. Tbh, my depression has creeped back so ive clearly just seen what I wanted to see and have generalised 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
I still find her posts useful, shes helped me understand my anxiety better. I generally skip her stories now as they are a bit gamey. But I cant get my head around how she can be privileged but not have troubles and anxiety? Shes never hidden the fact they are well off and I've always assumed shes had a nanny or something because it's a bit unrealistic to expect someone to do her job and work from home with kids roaming free. Is there an assumption someone has a nice co.fortable life they cant show it or try and sympathise and understand how other people feel? You can have all you want in the world and still be miserable.
 
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Of course privileged people can suffer from anxiety. But that doesn't give them the right to exploit others with their superiority out feeling and understanding. I always wonder why these women don't target women like themselves. But then it's so much harder to exploit rich, white, wealthy, slim women. Less insecurities to feed off. She's a vulture and it's all done under the guise of her being a bona fide hcp.
 
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Suppose with the rich, they can afford all the therapy (or vices) they need. They dont look to people like influencers for help 🤦🏻‍♀️
 
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I still find her posts useful, shes helped me understand my anxiety better. I generally skip her stories now as they are a bit gamey. But I cant get my head around how she can be privileged but not have troubles and anxiety? Shes never hidden the fact they are well off and I've always assumed shes had a nanny or something because it's a bit unrealistic to expect someone to do her job and work from home with kids roaming free. Is there an assumption someone has a nice co.fortable life they cant show it or try and sympathise and understand how other people feel? You can have all you want in the world and still be miserable.

You are right that anyone can be privileged and still have anxiety but has Anna ever said this? Has she ever mentioned that you can have every in the world but still have anxiety? Has she said you can have anxiety regardless of your gender, age, profession, background? Her target audience are weak new mums or underprivileged mums or less wealthy women. Her audience is not men who also suffer anxiety btw. You can have the perfect life and still not be happy but that's not Anna's message. Her feed revolves around anxiety surrounding mums and women with children. Alot of her anxiety also revolves around managing housework, jobs, children. She did a whole post about people pleasing and although it may not express but it was targeted towards women.

When has she ever said that you can be wealthy and be positive and may overcome anxiety by being grateful for everything everyday.

Suppose with the rich, they can afford all the therapy (or vices) they need. They dont look to people like influencers for help 🤦🏻‍♀️

Exactly I doubt Michelle Obama or even Boris's girlfriend will look at Anna's feed and think wow I must really use her services. It's more likely going to be Sharon down the road who can't afford therapy and will think how about I buy Anna's cards instead to work on my mental health. It's a cop out for people who can't afford expensive therapy to use her cards and a £20 book than pay £200/session or whatever the rate is
 
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Those mums are the ones that fall through the net and need the help though.. but as basicbasic said, its also then exploiting them 🙃🤦🏻‍♀️ maternal mental health is a field that gets duck all real attention, its how I slipped through the net and had to beg and beg for help 🙄

Exactly I doubt Michelle Obama or even Boris's girlfriend will look at Anna's feed and think wow I must really use her services. It's more likely going to be Sharon down the road who can't afford therapy and will think how about I buy Anna's cards instead to work on my mental health. It's a cop out for people who can't afford expensive therapy to use her cards and a £20 book than pay £200/session or whatever the rate is
And those who cant get help on the nhs 😔 Ive never felt she was relatable to me (she is afterall, a wealthy middle class white woman. Im a working class plastic paddy lol), but i definitely resonated with things she said around PND and having another child (what I went through). I couldnt get help anywhere for all my begging, so these people offer that hope.. and whilst I wouldnt pay her for it, others more desperate would. Which is abit icky really when I think about it
 
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My problem with Anna's feed and Instagram business is that she tried to relate to her audience. Anna's message is that look at me I'm just like you. Look at me my life is similar to yours. Look at me out problems are the same. Now go buy my book, also it's on discount so pre-order it. It is professionally unethical.

Also, there is a global pandemic and if you read up online then lots of families have lost jobs and struggling to feed their children. People have been made redundant and everyone in this country is being mindful of their finances. Is it reasonable and morally polite in such circumstances to force people to buy your beg? Remember her audience are not wealthy people.

Her message should be I'm a healthcare professional and certified psychologist and if you wish to use my expertise and knowledge then please feel free to buy my book.
 
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What are your feelings on the unmumsy mum? One could argue she started the whole thing and although all she ever sold were books (not psychological) help, it's the same thing. I really dont see how shes targeting anyone, there are lots of people out there doing far worse. All the cleaning insta stars selling people worthless tat, ex reality tv wannabes flogging get rich quick or win a grand if you follow me rubbish. What happens if someone pays for her services or buys her book and finds it useful and it genuinely helps? Getting referred for any type of help on the NHS is a postcode lottery and some people dont want to wait or are maybe to embarrassed to go to GP. Maybe shes good inbetween or makes them think about it more?

As I say, maybe I'm just not seeing it because i generally skip her stories now but her posts to me have helped. I've never felt I've had to buy her stuff either.
 
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I bought the unmumsy book and it did the job; made me laugh, made me nod along. I actually like now that shes not been as full on with it all. She had a comment from someone ages ago, who saw her when she was out along the lines of "your kids were playing nicely but you were too busy looking at your phone", she took it really well and agreed she was missing out.
 
I just find her content so contrived, she’s just rehashed the pink crisps thing after saying it a few months ago. And all of a sudden her bedroom is a mess after it’s been spotless for years? Just as her book comes out to show how relatable she is? Ok Anna.
 
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I used to love Anna but could never get to grips with just how much she stories, she talks to her phone more then she talks to her kids and i feel is more into her looks lately too. I think ive said it before but my grandmother would laugh at these influencers and their advice books. It's as if mums are a new thing
 
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A healthcare professional in clinical psychology doing it properly and professionally and still maintaining an insta profile is Michelle from_the_other_chair previously Dear Orla. Obviously she works in different fields but miles apart from the gimmicks and showboating of Anna.
 
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