Hi!! I've just found out about this thread recently and have been binging all of it so I have done my due diligence in catching up
Finally I've reached a new thread where I can chip in my thoughts!! hehe
I live in a developing country and yes, I'm not brought up with the knowledge of "basic etiquette". It's more of a be clean, be neat etc. Nothing specific and more of learning it yourself as you go. I admit that I'm from a "rough" and patriarchal community and finances have always been a burden. That's what drew me in Anna's earlier message; I was tired of seeing my stay-at-home mum not respected by my father. It is emotionally taxing to grow up hearing and watching arguments about not enough money; Anna's message to me was life changing. And i naively thought she was nice.
I religiously followed her videos on YouTube as I did learn a few things or two. It was nice until she started her new course which I didn't purchase, because it's so obviously is a scam. But i did attend the three free workshops she held to hype the course and saved the videos; never watched it again
it's all the same thing she repeated in her YouTube videos anyway.
My reason for liking her at first was I am very insecure of this whole "femininity" concept. Growing up, I always hung out with the boys, did martial arts, very opinionated and have no problem calling out others (all "masculine energy"). In my first year at uni, I felt very sad to see other ladies more feminine than me! I started comparing my attitude to them, why don't I walk gracefully like them? This insecurity combined with believing Anna to the tea (dumb me didn't question who she was as I had zero knowledge how to be feminine and she claimed she does) caused me so many issues
I was commuting to campus by public busses (at worst a total of 2 hr 30 min) and I watched her "elegant" shoes video and couldn't buy a pair of white sneakers (unfortunately even a knock off made in china pair is expensive to me) so i settled for her next best option, something that resembled the Chanel flats. Oh how dumb i was to prioritize "elegance" over practicality! I got a wart for straining my feet so much from walking long hours in uncomfortable shoes and I quickly learned my lesson.
About this time as well I was dating a very nice guy. It was my first time dating someone considerably more well off than myself and his family had status. Middle class for sure but to a humble me, I was overwhelmed. His generousity also blew me away; watching how my father was stingy to my mother and seeing how he would never let me raise a finger (or a wallet!) during our dates, made me feel so special and loved. Unfortunately, I was too deep in Anna's spell to realize I was doing much MUCH better than Anna. I was being provided and cared for, and she wasn't.
In my second year, I broke off things with him because I wasn't used to being provided and I felt really bad. I didn't know whether I loved him for him or for his generousity. And I didnt enjoy the feeling of "using" him. Plus, I especially didn't enjoy his family alluding that I was chasing their son when it was the other way round; he was committed to me but because of my background, I was labelled a gold-digger. This really did not sit right with me, and I'm glad I ended things. I was being fair to myself and to my ex.
I realized in the "pursuit" of being "feminine" to get a "provider", I needed to feel my best emotionally and had something to bring to the table, not just my looks.
After reading you ladies' threads, I understood how I got a loving provider unknowingly. I was just being my true self. And I guess whatever my spark was, (mind you, my looks are NOTHING lol. My skin is acne ridden and I'm still looking for solutions that wouldn't break the bank, and I'm short and stumpy) my ex loved it enough to pamper me emotionally and materialistic. (Anna, I was wearing JEANS when he gifted me a diamond ring!) (lmao it's nothing expensive but I'm assuming that's more than she ever gets anyway)
TLDR, her earlier YouTube videos are good if you're a troglodyte like myself who have 0% knowledge on these things, don't buy her course; her website and three day free workshops are painfully obvious a scam, you CAN find a loving provider even if you're not elegant enough, just be yourself!! don't hop into a relationship if you don't love yourself.
Now, I'm currently doing my undergrad thesis and not actively looking for anyone. You ladies made me realize that my degree and honing my skillset will take me further than Anna ever could. Thank you so soo much! x
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