God he's such a twat
God he's such a twatAlfies latest vlog: I CAN'T SHOW YOU YET.....
- Alfie: "The comment section is ridiculous, the most positive lovely space. That's not down to me that's down to you" --- No Alf, its down to the fact you mute "negative" comments
- Alfie: "I feel we are at the peak of the best community we've ever had on YouTube, the views aren't the highest they've because I don't do these crazy challenge videos or clickbait" ----- Title of this video???? Not clickbait
- Alfie: "What I feel was a little, jokey, shitty segment in the vlogs and I rinsed myself being 26 and growing sea monkeys is actually pretty sick" ----- Nah Alf, it's pretty pathetic
- Alfie talking about it being sun and the UK on lockdown "I feel the world is giving us the best weather and thanking us for not driving as much, no flights, not polluting the earth as much as we usually are" --- US? WE? Alf you mean you and your beanie baby loser gang
- He then did the Instagram #Send10 push up challenge. It REALLY annoyed me when he said "its when you see someone on social do 10 pushups you have to" ---- SOCIAL? Is he trying to make that happen? Because its NOT GOING TO HAPPEN
- He did the #Send10 and ask his viewers to send him videos. Pretty pathetic. It shows he knows he doesn't have 10 friends who would do it. They should ignore his shitty DM.
- Mentioned the celebrity Q&As and of course our boy Alfonso had EXCUSES GALORE
"I didn't want to launch it without having a few ready to go"
"I took the weekend off"
"MY DOG ATE ALL MY CELEB FRIENDS" -- OK he didn't say the last, but might as well
- Made a pizza for lunch for Zoe, who as usual IS ILL --- alluding that she might have coronavirus
- He is back on stealing money from his viewers. Tie dying "merch" --- TWAT
- Alfie talking about the fact he and Zoe don't have enough food in the house
"Its midnight and I tried to order a food shop and there's no deliveries for March or April" -- I don't know why this annoyed me, but it did. Is he that far fucking removed he thought he could stroll onto Ocado and Waitrose in the middle of a global fcking PANDEMIC and he would get his honey comb on the bride delivered tomorrow????!!!!
- Alfie talks about his dumb key chain and how other Youtubers are selling merch because "they bring happiness and joy and value"
- He said he was "torn" and said his viewers should comment what he should do. HE KNOWS THEY WILL SAY LAUNCH IT.
Eeeeuuuwwww it looks like he's pleasuring himselfView attachment 99525
From his insta....is this his thumbnail?! Cos it’s effin awful!!!
What is he doing with his face?View attachment 99525
From his insta....is this his thumbnail?! Cos it’s effin awful!!!
Why does he need another new pool he bought one last year, also isn't there a apple mac in Zoe's office cant he use that?New vlog: You Asked Me to Talk About It
- Starts vlog telling is he hasn't brushed his teeth (Guess because mummy Zoe is ill noone reminded him)
- Thanks everyone for the nice comments
- Shows those stupid sea monkeys
- Heads upstairs with Zoes yogurt and his cereal so he can play Animal Crossing, then gets distracted as he forgot the tie dye in his office
- Jumps on his stupid trampoline which must be mucky AF
- Alfie "I dont know how I use to daily vlog and edit my videos. Its 2.47pm... I haven't even brushed my teeth...I always brush my teeth first time" --- As I said because mummy is ill
- He shoes the tie dye --- looks like merch to me --- the orange looks particularly shit but I know he will still sell it "it's kinda weak but I like it"
- He moaned his laptop switched off because its 4 years old and he keeps putting off buying a new one ----- hes a god damn millionaire!!!! He can but a drone, the latest iphone, a skate ramp but not a laptop for his job
- He did a mini Q&A. Not the celebrities one that would require effort. In this we learnt:
1. Zoes 30th holiday was for only Zalfie. (I bet Alfie is secretly over the moon they can't go)
2. His tips of anxiety: keep busy
3. How do you keep the relationship alive? Alfie said "Being open, you're 2 individuals and you're deciding and choosing to spend time...your living together, but that doesn't mean every second. We both understand we have different hobbies, different things we want our of lives, different goals....but overall we get on very well together and it works"
---- the love is definitely GONE! Just a business transaction at this point
He then added "If I felt the relationship with Zoe wasn't going right I'm probably not giving her the right amount of attention and love and everything that she should be getting from her partner therefore I'm not right for her either"
4. He said he has enjoyed not doing anything "I enjoy doing less" ----oh hun, you been doing less for a long long time
5. What trait do you want your kids to have from you and Zoe --- LOL Alfie said "Zoes head size" "Zoes teeth"
6. Talked about perhaps getting a NEW pool. Yes Mr my laptop is broken will buy a new pool!
7. He wants to have kids in the next 5 years. So he will be 31 and if hes still will Zoe because they "work well together" she will be 36! Not old but Zoe wanted kids at 30.
8. He said he didn't stockpile
The video ended abruptly, his camera died and he edited the video at 2am
Bloody check = 10
The laptop, camera, drone and hinting for companies to send a free one is one of my major gripes. He can buy it through the business and write it off as an expense so doesn’t even come out of his pocket.New vlog: You Asked Me to Talk About It
- Starts vlog telling is he hasn't brushed his teeth (Guess because mummy Zoe is ill noone reminded him)
- Thanks everyone for the nice comments
- Shows those stupid sea monkeys
- Heads upstairs with Zoes yogurt and his cereal so he can play Animal Crossing, then gets distracted as he forgot the tie dye in his office
- Jumps on his stupid trampoline which must be mucky AF
- Alfie "I dont know how I use to daily vlog and edit my videos. Its 2.47pm... I haven't even brushed my teeth...I always brush my teeth first time" --- As I said because mummy is ill
- He shoes the tie dye --- looks like merch to me --- the orange looks particularly shit but I know he will still sell it "it's kinda weak but I like it"
- He moaned his laptop switched off because its 4 years old and he keeps putting off buying a new one ----- hes a god damn millionaire!!!! He can but a drone, the latest iphone, a skate ramp but not a laptop for his job
- He did a mini Q&A. Not the celebrities one that would require effort. In this we learnt:
1. Zoes 30th holiday was for only Zalfie. (I bet Alfie is secretly over the moon they can't go)
2. His tips of anxiety: keep busy
3. How do you keep the relationship alive? Alfie said "Being open, you're 2 individuals and you're deciding and choosing to spend time...your living together, but that doesn't mean every second. We both understand we have different hobbies, different things we want our of lives, different goals....but overall we get on very well together and it works"
---- the love is definitely GONE! Just a business transaction at this point
He then added "If I felt the relationship with Zoe wasn't going right I'm probably not giving her the right amount of attention and love and everything that she should be getting from her partner therefore I'm not right for her either"
4. He said he has enjoyed not doing anything "I enjoy doing less" ----oh hun, you been doing less for a long long time
5. What trait do you want your kids to have from you and Zoe --- LOL Alfie said "Zoes head size" "Zoes teeth"
6. Talked about perhaps getting a NEW pool. Yes Mr my laptop is broken will buy a new pool!
7. He wants to have kids in the next 5 years. So he will be 31 and if hes still will Zoe because they "work well together" she will be 36! Not old but Zoe wanted kids at 30.
8. He said he didn't stockpile
The video ended abruptly, his camera died and he edited the video at 2am
Bloody check = 10
The 87000 packages and deliveries they order might still be the culpritDo they both think Zoe has the coronavirus? She’s been self isolating since 2017!! The occasional outing when Mark is there... ffs! Any excuse for her to stay in her pit. Play animal crossing. Eat and fuck all else!
Don't forget the hired help - assistants, cleaners, gardeners, the guys that come and clean their car, etc.The 87000 packages and deliveries they order might still be the culprit
Probably Alfies mum.Bet she has someone to come and blow her nose for her and disinfect her whole house!
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