Alfie Deyes #15 I wanted to finish this title but got distr

[coconochanel]

New thread thanks to @GossWhore for the winning title suggestion which is a nod to Alfie failing to finish ANYTHING!

Anyway recap for anyone who cares.....

Alfie has decided to strip things back this year and take things slowly aka hardly do any work unless its an AD or shilling his non-merch!
He is still flogging his over priced not-merch futureself 'garments'
He is also now selling futureself coffee- people do your futureself a favour and don't spend your money on his shite!
He is also back in his gym (again) getting the best body of his life (again) for his 30th birthday in September. Well we will believe it when we see it alf!

other boring things to note....

he is back doing his veg patch
he is still Ottie's main career
He still hasn't proposed to his GF Zoe.

 

[Ellewoods]

Hey GOIYSH

 

[RosaLux]

Hey GOIYSH

Hahahahaha

 

[coconochanel]

Love how Alfie always has hot blondes promoting his futureself shite aka what he wanted in Zoe but got a boring slob instead.

 

[jammy]

Nobody has bothered to leave a review for any of the products on futures elf coffee.

 

[Lilykins]

Nobody has bothered to leave a review for any of the products on futures elf coffee.

Parents drinking all his unsold stock

 

[jammy]

Futures Elf t-shirt has a horrible crinkly seam around the collar.

 

[Susspicious]

Every single book this man has recommended or mentioned sounds like the shittest, most pretentious load of wanky bollocks you’ve ever heard. I wish he couldn’t read.

 

[coconochanel]

Can someone screenshot a pic of Alfie's body now so we can compare it when it gets to his birthday

 

[squacksquack]

Can someone screenshot a pic of Alfie's body now so we can compare it when it gets to his birthday

I could but then I’d have to bin my phone to get rid of the image

 

[Antacids]

I’m surprised no one has posted this gummy pic yet.
---

 

[Lilykins]

Hope Zoe has her mum on hand, she can hardly be expected to look after Ottie with Alfie being away.

 

[coconochanel]

Hope Zoe has her mum on hand, she can hardly be expected to look after Ottie with Alfie being away.

Dont worry I'm sure Tracey is babysitting the child....and Ottie.

 

[kyrag2803]

*works out once and eats a salad*

 

[GossWhore]

Sorry I didn't even know my title was picked looool. That's how boring he is


And this #AD he made was shite.

 

[kyrag2803]

Sorry I didn't even know my title was picked looool. That's how boring he is


And this #AD he made was shite.

That’s major ick I just know he practiced that

 

[squacksquack]

That’s major ick I just know he practiced that

Oh he definitely did! I mean, at least he put some effort into it. Zoe could never.

 

[coconochanel]

Ottie got up an hour earlier, yes well thats what kids do FFS!

 

[GossWhore]

Alfie would rather go to Dubai and get ab surgery than propose to Zoe

I

 

[kyrag2803]

I think it’s genuinely mad that they’re not married makes me think they’ve had conversations about it and it’s something we don’t know obviously like a reason for it. It might just be they don’t want to which is fine but like why not just say that