Alcoholism

[boomska]

I’ve decided to give Sober October a go because I definitely have an addiction to alcohol but not what I consider an alcoholic.


And omg, going cold turkey is bloody hard. I’ve gone 15 days and It feels so much loooonger!!

And I didn’t realise how much I used alcohol as a de-stresser!

My period is 9 days late and I’m putting it down to being stressed so I’m just wondering if anyone’s been in the same as me? And how other people distressed without alcohol?

 

[Drea1984]

My brother (late 40s) is an alcoholic. He hasn’t worked for 25 years hugely enabled by our parents.
Parents gone now. So has the money he relies on from them.
He lies, has stolen from me and has now called my adult daughter for money which she gave.
He will not help himself.
He doesn’t want to change just for us to carry on doling out cash like my parents did.
I hate him. I could knock him out for asking my daughter for money.
We used to be so close.
To be truthful I just want him to die now.
I cannot go on with him. My nightmare is to see him begging in our town? He had everything.
He was always the favourite, had it all and wasted it.

 

[Aliali23]

My dad died this year after downing a bottle of vodka too quickly and posioning himself. I didn't think he was an alcoholic as he could have months of sobriety but then would drink for a week straight, and im still not sure, was it a coping mechanism for MH crisis but all your stories resonate with me. We used to hunt the house with mum looking for bottles as kids. Sometimes I'd come home from school and he'd be in a pool of blood from having a fall, or I'd be walking home and find him slumped on the pavement or stumbling home after downing vodka or frosty Jack's. The longest he'd been sober was about 4 years. I miss him so much but its also a relief not to be worrying about him all the time. Xx

 

[Drea1984]

It’s the selfishness at times that gets me?
our father had a stroke which my brother missed. So our father is in a nursing home now.
I have power of attorney and have to do everything. If I ask my brother to do basic things like answer the phone he says “addicts are unreliable”.
he has admitted using food banks, being sanctioned on his benefits because he won’t work, hasn’t got a washing machine or fridge but apparently this still isn’t rock bottom? If this isn’t rock bottom what will be?

 

[Nobodyputsbabyinthecorner]

Just wondering if anyone else has struggled through ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ due to a loved one’s abuse of alcohol? It’s not the first year and no doubt won’t be the last but I have never felt as affected by it as I have this year. I’m angry and bitter - I really don’t like the person I’m becoming because of it sorry to rant I’ve just got no one to talk to about it. They’re killing me slowly on the inside

 

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

Just wondering if anyone else has struggled through ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ due to a loved one’s abuse of alcohol? It’s not the first year and no doubt won’t be the last but I have never felt as affected by it as I have this year. I’m angry and bitter - I really don’t like the person I’m becoming because of it sorry to rant I’ve just got no one to talk to about it. They’re killing me slowly on the inside

I hear you. We had a tit Christmas last year, and this year has been dire too.

It’s what has made up my mind to finish things for good. Like you, I hate the person his addiction has turned me into. I need to get out before I lose myself completely

 

[Nobodyputsbabyinthecorner]

I hear you. We had a tit Christmas last year, and this year has been dire too.

It’s what has made up my mind to finish things for good. Like you, I hate the person his addiction has turned me into. I need to get out before I lose myself completely

im sorry you had a tit time too sending you love and strength xxx

 

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

im sorry you had a tit time too sending you love and strength xxx

Thank you - and the same to you too.

It’s just so exhausting, and so utterly soul-destroying, isn’t it?

 

[Drea1984]

I’m at the point where being in their presence makes my skin crawl. I have never been a big drinker but not had one since September. I have tried and tried to help. But now I just want out. For my own sanity.

 

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

I’m at the point where being in their presence makes my skin crawl. I have never been a big drinker but not had one since September. I have tried and tried to help. But now I just want out. For my own sanity.

I’m in much the same place too. Wishing you all the strength you need to make a fresh start in 2025

 

[Poptartxo]

Just wondering if anyone else has struggled through ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ due to a loved one’s abuse of alcohol? It’s not the first year and no doubt won’t be the last but I have never felt as affected by it as I have this year. I’m angry and bitter - I really don’t like the person I’m becoming because of it sorry to rant I’ve just got no one to talk to about it. They’re killing me slowly on the inside

This time of year is awful every year for us. The drinking ramps up around the beginning of December, and by actual Christmas time it’s out of control. He drank 2 bottles of wine and a whole bottle of Baileys the other night, and that’s the only night I’ve been able to actually work out how much he’s drank. There is no point in mentioning it as he just gets sneaky too - we’ve had gin bottles filled with water and stuff over the years so I didn’t think he had drunk it all. It’s always the same pattern too, he will then stop on New Years Day and give up until his birthday several days later, those days will be awful as he will be really down, then he will in a misery on his birthday drink loads again.

 

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

I’m so sorry that there are so many of us going through such an awful time just now. Sending love to you all

 

[Drea1984]

I’ve just been reading that there is a tablet that can be taken which is called “ozempic for alcoholics”. It apparently enables people to drink “normally”. I don’t feel this would be a long term solution for my brother who has a rolling programme of addictions that he alternates. Gambling, prescription drugs, under eating, over eating, over exercising etc. we have had them all on rotation over the last 30 years. However it does make interesting reading.

 

[Shoequeen91]

Had to write this somewhere - posted something on the rant thread because honestly I find this entire thing embarrassing, draining and just so soul destroying. My Dad is going from bad to worse. Each year I don’t think it can get any worse and then it does. I don’t know a week where he isn’t drinking until he blackout drunk or verbally abusive. I feel like we enable him because we take him places when he does stop drinking (for two days maximum at a time) and we sort his food out for him, but tonight he’s just been so unnerving on the phone that I really think I need to formulate a plan to leave where I live. It’s too much. I feel like my body is in a constant state of stress. I feel like I’m not going to be able to switch off and I’ve had such a long day when it comes to my job (5.30am wake up to go a conference in London) that all I wanted tonight was to get home, relax and sleep soundly and it’s just not going to happen. I feel like the worst is always going to happen and I have absolutely zero control in any of this. I feel like I can’t let anyone in cause this whole thing is so bleeping embarrassing who is going to want to deal with someone who has tit like this going on in her life. It’s stunting my growth with relationships. I thrive elsewhere (even if it’s exhausting sometimes trying to paint a perfect picture of my father being okay. I don’t know how my mom was married to him for so long and living this tit day in and day out) but letting someone in is a massive no. I don’t even think I can articulate myself properly because my head is so frazzled. It’s bleeping tit. Either way I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I wanna stop caring but the guilt I know I’m going to feel when he eventually dies because what if I could’ve done more, it’s going to haunt me forever. I just know it is.

 

[Rose28454]

Had to write this somewhere - posted something on the rant thread because honestly I find this entire thing embarrassing, draining and just so soul destroying. My Dad is going from bad to worse. Each year I don’t think it can get any worse and then it does. I don’t know a week where he isn’t drinking until he blackout drunk or verbally abusive. I feel like we enable him because we take him places when he does stop drinking (for two days maximum at a time) and we sort his food out for him, but tonight he’s just been so unnerving on the phone that I really think I need to formulate a plan to leave where I live. It’s too much. I feel like my body is in a constant state of stress. I feel like I’m not going to be able to switch off and I’ve had such a long day when it comes to my job (5.30am wake up to go a conference in London) that all I wanted tonight was to get home, relax and sleep soundly and it’s just not going to happen. I feel like the worst is always going to happen and I have absolutely zero control in any of this. I feel like I can’t let anyone in cause this whole thing is so bleeping embarrassing who is going to want to deal with someone who has tit like this going on in her life. It’s stunting my growth with relationships. I thrive elsewhere (even if it’s exhausting sometimes trying to paint a perfect picture of my father being okay. I don’t know how my mom was married to him for so long and living this tit day in and day out) but letting someone in is a massive no. I don’t even think I can articulate myself properly because my head is so frazzled. It’s bleeping tit. Either way I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I wanna stop caring but the guilt I know I’m going to feel when he eventually dies because what if I could’ve done more, it’s going to haunt me forever. I just know it is.

My hubby was a really bad alcoholic and reached a rock bottom when within a year he ruined our sons graduation by damaging our hire car so by the time we got to the celebration it was over then got drunk at dinner that night and our son was so upset that he stayed at uni 2 more days rather than come home as arranged.
a few days later after a row with son about it he locked himself in the bathroom and slit his wrists.
This type of thing continued for about another 2 years until it finally reached breaking point and I left with my teenage daughter and told him to find somewhere else to live. He did and sobered up and lived somewhere else for 10 years. He’s been sober for 18 years.
however he’s never said sorry to me for what I went through ( poverty extreme debt and constant worry ) but is on good terms with his children
Try to think of yourself please

 

[Shoequeen91]

My hubby was a really bad alcoholic and reached a rock bottom when within a year he ruined our sons graduation by damaging our hire car so by the time we got to the celebration it was over then got drunk at dinner that night and our son was so upset that he stayed at uni 2 more days rather than come home as arranged.
a few days later after a row with son about it he locked himself in the bathroom and slit his wrists.
This type of thing continued for about another 2 years until it finally reached breaking point and I left with my teenage daughter and told him to find somewhere else to live. He did and sobered up and lived somewhere else for 10 years. He’s been sober for 18 years.
however he’s never said sorry to me for what I went through ( poverty extreme debt and constant worry ) but is on good terms with his children
Try to think of yourself please

I’m really sorry you had to go through all of that and the shine was taken off your son’s moment. It’s really the worst. I don’t live with him and we left a long time ago but things don’t really seem to get better - he lives on his own so it’s constant hounding by the phone sometimes. He phoned the following day and said he was “unwell” and didn’t want anyone to go his this weekend. He’ll sulk all weekend like a child now. I’m convinced it a control problem because everyone is grown up and adult. I managed to put it out my head and finally get some rest. Can’t let it ruin the rest of my weekend, he’s an adult and anything he does is a reflection on himself and not me. Drives me mad because people are willing to help him but he plays victim and apparently no one supports him. It’s ridiculous but I’m absolutely still considering leaving the country entirely at some point to build a life for myself elsewhere.

 

[rosie]

My brother's drinking got so bad that every family gathering felt like we were pretending nothing was wrong. For years my coping mechanism was distance, but all that did was make me feel guilty and powerless.

What shifted things was learning that I could set boundaries without abandoning him. I encouraged him to get help, and eventually he went into treatment at the Legacy Healing Center. Seeing him get real therapy for the shame and patterns behind the drinking reminded me that coping doesn't mean carrying it all on your own, it means pointing them toward the right help while still protecting your own peace

 

[If i told you …]

For anyone who is struggling but likes to see figures and motivation. This is a great free app

 

[Cbgpcd]

I was thinking of getting the tablets that make you ill if you drink. Has anyone had them?

 

[Bezzzz]

A friend of mine has and says they really helped.