Alcoholism

[Happyvalley]

That’s lovely that you have children and they can appreciate what an incredible mum you are! Does that ever help distract you on the day? It’s so hard and I almost want everyone to not post anything for my own benefit but that’s silly Last year I still wrote out a card for her and put flowers in her room and also got my nan a card and gift instead, she’s been like a mum to me since I was born. But you’re so right

Ahh that’s nice that you still did that. Yes they definitely distract me and my husband knows I find the day really hard so they do spoil me, I’m very lucky. But I think I’m just always so relieved when the day is done for another year!

 

[babbling brook]

Hi everyone, I’ve posted before about my husbands heavy drinking. He has cut back from 3-5 days a week to once a week (sometimes less) and I’m really happy about that, despite that one night a week being a binge session.

However, I know that desire to drink is still there most of the time. It bothers me when he makes throwaway comments about needing a drink to take the edge off, because I know if he could he’d probably down as much as possible. He is also depressed and doesn’t handle stress very well. He has come a really long way in the last few months to cut back. His drinking was his decision but my reactions are in my control so just wondering if anyone has any advice or suggestions on how I can react to those comments about needing a drink (most days). Thanks

 

[Annie101]

Has anyone heard of the Sinclair Method? My friend is signing up to it.

No - please share

 

[37BBL]

@37BBL sending you loads of love. That feeling when you hear something that makes you suspect the drinking has begun again is horrendous. Like a black hole inside you, and (for me) it them consumes almost every thought for a few days. Fingers crossed that since she has been doing well lately your sister is still on that path. Im sorry you won’t get to see your mum as you move in to tier 3, hopefully it will be a short time before restrictions are eased for you.

Thanks hun. Just a bit of a crap week I think. All the chocolate for me this weekend and I'll be fine. Just have to keep reminding myself everyone has a choice and this is what she chose. X

 

[Ladyinred]

That is just so awful, I’m so sorry for you and your family x

There was only going to be one outcome at the end of the day, the amount of time I went home and opened the door and the smell hitting me and I’m just thinking is this going to be the day I find my dad dead. It was something we all prepared ourselves for, but it was a shook when it actually happened. Mum had walked out on him about 7 years beforehand as she’d had enough but was still there for him as a friend, just couldn’t live with him.

my dad was never ever a violent man and was the sweetest man when not on the booze, sadly I thing he had mental health problems that he self medicate with booze!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

My partner has a massive drink problem (all day every day but functioning). I haven’t left because our relationship is still good, but I feel like if he doesn’t change I will need to soon.
It’s so sad and frustrating. I’ve tried AlAnon but felt like I didn’t belong there as he’s not abusive and I don’t have kids with him so could walk away any time.
I realise I should but the good/bad ratio is still in his favour. For now. I dream about his death sometimes which is horrible.
he got referred but they basically weren’t interested as he has a job etc and just check his bloods and tell him to reduce but don’t seem to have offered any actual support.
Have read about detaching with love and try hard not to enable but suppose the fact I am still there is probably enabling in itself.

Does he recognise that he is an alcoholic? Does he accept that he needs help? Does he know how you feel and how close you are to leaving?

 

[Raininvain]

I am not an expert but ive gone through some shit. Living with an alcoholic is emotional abuse. One you start isolating because he is drunk, afraid to invite friends over, when he loves alcohol more than he loves you, the list goes on.....years go by and you lost all that time.

How is your husband doing now? I'm glad he finally got himself some help.
Sorry for anyone who is going through this with a loved one.

 

[Definitelyme]

In a more distant situation, I have a friend whose mother is an alcoholic. Does anyone have advice for how to support my friend? I am one of the only people aware of the situation and I can see it really affects her to worry about her mother and everything that addiction brings to a family.
How can I support her?

Checking in on her, asking how the situation is and giving her space to talk about it, but also maybe taking her for coffee or a walk or whatever and not talking about it to take her mind off it. These are the things that help me, I’m in your friend’s situation.

 

[Flowergirl14]

I’m so sorry she made you feel like that. You deserved to have all the attention and loving support you deserved! And also someone to help you in your time of need. You’d think giving them something to be happy about would make them feel better? I’m so sorry about your mum

Thank you so much