23 is too young to be a parent?

[Whatever123]

I don’t think it’s too young at all. I’m all for people having them when they’re ready however I really dislike the encouragement of women actually waiting until their 30’s.

I’m mid 20’s, in a stable long term relationship and would love to have a baby but pressures of people telling us we’re too young are definitely a contributing factor to why it isn’t on the cards right now.

I will be devastated if I leave it too late and have trouble conceiving when I could have had babies in my prime with no issues.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

It’s a personal decision. For many 23 will be too young but for others it was the right time for them. I can see the argument for having life experiences and waiting a little longer but you can do fine as a parent without that too with the right support and maturity. I had my first at 21 and I don’t feel I was too young and that I’ve taken motherhood in my stride. Many of my friends haven’t had any kids yet at nearly 30 because they just aren’t ready or don’t want kids at all and that’s fine too.

I just feel when it comes to a woman getting pregnant everyone suddenly becomes an expert and you’re either ‘too young’ or ‘too old’ with a handful of reasons why on either side. Women shouldn’t really pay any attention to it and should focus on what’s best for them because everyone and their circumstances is different. Even before I got pregnant people said I was too young and tried to tell me what I should do with my life instead. They may have meant well but it was a waste of their time lol.

 

[XXSJPXX]

I’m mid 20’s, in a stable long term relationship and would love to have a baby but pressures of people telling us we’re too young are definitely a contributing factor to why it isn’t on the cards right now.

im really surprised people think you’re too young, even with your stable relationship. I’m starting to think it’s because more women are having babies much later in life now than ever before, it makes having a baby in your 20’s seem “too young” to some people, that’s my theory anyway!

 

[Tor88]

I don’t think it’s too young but in today’s world I think it is. I’m 25 and just think I’ve got a Lot of living left to do. There’s no pressure to
Marry and have kids like the 80s/90s. It was common to be 23 with kids then but now women have a few more options with life, careers, degrees, travelling. So yeah personally i think 23 is young to have children. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been broody for 3 years but I know now isn’t my time. I’ve seen people at 23 happy with kids and I’ve seen people at 23 unhappy and palming their kids off to Mam and dad every Saturday because they thought they’d lived their life.

 

[Whatever123]

im really surprised people think you’re too young, even with your stable relationship. I’m starting to think it’s because more women are having babies much later in life now than ever before, it makes having a baby in your 20’s seem “too young” to some people, that’s my theory anyway!

I think you’re right. Although I have bought a home etc with my partner and people around us still seem to think we have ‘so much living to do!’
I also think being from London is a big factor. people I know who live in more rural areas seem to have children a lot younger despite financial circumstances etc, it’s just quite a normal thing to do

 

[SusanBoobson]

Sorry if this is better suited for a parenting forum but i hate them so I'm posting it here lol

So Dani Dyer from Love Island has announced her pregnancy and I was reading the comments on the Daily Mail article about it and quite a few people are saying 23 is too young to be a parent. She is young but i personally don't think it is "too" young to be a mum but then i did have my first at 24 and i never felt too young.

At what age would you say someone is "too young" to be a mum/dad? How old were you when you had your first child?

Forgot to mention Dani is 23

I’ve been with my husband since we were 14, had our first unplanned at 18 and at 23 our 2nd came along.
In all honesty it’s not her age that’s important it’s the short length of time she’s been with her boyfriend. That’s not to say they won’t be together long term but at that young age and that soon into the relationship they have a higher chance statistically of breaking up due to the pressures of parenthood.
I do wish I’d waited till my late 20’s early 30’s to have mine, mainly because I had to watch friends enjoy their Youth whilst I dealt with all the grown up stuff and now my friends are enjoying little newborns I’m dealing with a 15 yr old and a 10 year old going through puberty and having mood swings.
It really all depends on what you want for your life and how strong your relationship is. A lot of people divorce in their 40’s because they’re suddenly challenged with having young adults who they can’t send to bed early, which effects their sex life and ultimately their relationship. They’re all sweet and lovely to begin with and I think people forget that in the blink of an eye they’re teenagers and that stage lasts a lot longer then the baby stage and has a much bigger impact on your alone time too.

 

[kadykal95]

Each to their own but I wouldn't have had a child at 23 personally. I was too selfish, wanted to go on nice holidays, progress in my career and have a social life. I also had barely any life experience, relationship experience, job experience or financial stability.

 

[Onthehop]

Each to their own but I wouldn't have had a child at 23 personally. I was too selfish, wanted to go on nice holidays, progress in my career and have a social life. I also had barely any life experience, relationship experience, job experience or financial stability.

Me too. I would have felt trapped at 23. I was still enjoying my youth then... out and about. I had my first at 31.

 

[Zenchick101]

It's complicated but I think you have to consider how mature you are, how financially stable you are and perhaps how relationally stable you are. Some people don't have those things done and still make it but I personally think most will have a much harder time.

 

[HowlOwl]

My husband became a father at 22. (I had my first child at 44 (not the same child!)) - but he doesn’t feel he was too young. He was working, married, and they went on to have four more children.

 

[Bogwoppit]

I had my first at 16, had to prove I was a good mum to very judgemental people, my eldest is now 23, has a full time job, passed her driving test at 17, she is now a mum herself & has a home of her own, I have 3 other kids, my family is complete & glad I’m not getting up with a baby anymore, my youngest is 9, some of my friends are only just starting out having their kids. I suppose it’s up to the individual really.

 

[Thetruth123]

I was 17 then 20 and now just had my third at 32. I’m so fortunate that my fiancée and I are still together! So many couples have babies in their teens thinking they are grown up but in reality they are not. My Fiancée still lived his youth and often left me alone to care for our first 2babies. It was me that was the mature one. The money stresses etc is enough to split any couple up. I did resent him for many many years how he reacted and treated me. I definitely think I was too young .....but we managed and coped in the end. So much so that our relationship is stronger than ever, we are more in love than ever. Own together and run a successful business (turning over 500k plus) I’m proud we are not another teenage statistic but it can go either way so quickly.... today’s generation don’t persevere with relationships they are so disposable. I did persevere and knew I had to want it and work at it and it payed off..... 23 in the z list world and not married I’m doubtful It will last hate to say it but it’s reality

 

[Hulahoopsfromthe80s]

Nope but it does depend on the person..
I had my first at 19 and second 12 months later. Best thing I ever did.

My youngest was an oops pregnancy and I was 29 and I felt abit old I'm 36 now and wouldn't want any more. Ever.

Oh and we've been together since I was 17 so nearly 19yrs now

 

[Justhereforthebants]

I had my first at 22, most people I know had kids around that age. I went on to have a set of twins at 27. I definitely didn’t feel too young and my husband and I provide a decent and stable life for them. However, now when I see girls in their early twenties with babies I do think they look too young and now realise that’s what people probably think about me too. I don’t regret having my kids at all but if I was to give someone younger life advice I would say to wait a bit, late 20s/early 30s.

 

[Loopypappy]

I was 21 when we had our first child - she is now 25 and our son is 20 (husband and I have been together for 28 years) but I have mixed thoughts on the age thing. If my eldest said she was pregnant at 21/22 I honestly don’t know how I would have reacted really. Rightly or wrongly, but with honesty, I do think she’s still a little girl so it’s a tough one. I mention at every family get together that I don’t want to be a granny before I’m 50 please and then sit back at watch the eye rolls

 

[Pambo]

Dani's 23yo i.e. a full blown adult. There seems to be this idea in recent years that adolescence extends up to your 30th birthday, for why, I don't know.

That's if folks can make up their mind. I have to laugh at the "me at 16", "me now" memes I see on social media, especially when "me now" is never older than 25 lol.

Then there's the "me trying to adult" stuff... from folks well into their 30s. At 20 that's funny. At 35, not so much.

And then there's the feminist take in which we're all strong, empowered, independent women. Except when we're not and need told by these older feminists on how we should be living, because we're doing it wrong if we decide being a stay at home mum is what actually makes us happy in life.

So I say, if you're 23 and feel ready, have a child. If it's not what you want, then don't.

However, don't get to 45yo and then piss&whine about not being able to get pregnant because you can't have it all the ways.

 

[Kim Mild]

No , 23 is within the 'average ' I would say. I think it is just recently that the age of first time mothers has increased

 

[Pippa M]

Like most other posters here I think it depends on the people involved.How much are they willing to give up to have a baby... it is a 24 / 7 job for some years,if you dont farm baby out to someone else to bring up. Hard work but worth it.

 

[VomitCulture]

It was the norm back in the day but nowadays I think it’s too young

 

[hnoz]

I don't think it is universally too young, but it is on the younger side imo it definitely would have been too young for me. I was working and with my husband at 23, although not married yet, so the practical sides were ticked in a way but for me my 20s are for me. Once you have a baby you are devoted to them for life and I wanted a period of time when I made my own money to focus on myself and my own dreams or goals.