23 is too young to be a parent?

[tialin]

I had my first at 15 (obviously way too young, not matured, no clue of adult life, etc) but once my little girl was here she changed everything and I’m now 21 and going on 40 maturity wise! I had my second baby, a little boy, when I was 20 and we have a stable life and my children never go without. I’ve managed to get myself a degree in social work so I have a proper career behind me. I don’t think there’s every a right age to have a baby, as long as you have the means and maturity to look after your little ones and do the best for them I think that is all that matters.

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I think it's all individual. People age differently

 

[Sosig]

My best friend fell pregnant at 21 and shes the mother of the happiest toddler I've ever seen. My friend has absolutely smashed it.

I'm 27 and plan to start trying in the next 2 years or so as I think I'm too young .

I'm so broody lately though so hoping Mr Sosig might give in and say let's start now

 

[watermelon sugar]

depends on the age. I had my first a few months ago at 24 and I felt ready to be a Mum. But there are others my age who aren't mature enough to be a parent

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I had my daughter at 19. I’m 30 and she’s off to secondary school. Worked out perfect.

 

[Tor88]

I don’t think it’s too young but in today’s world I think it is. I’m 25 and just think I’ve got a Lot of living left to do. There’s no pressure to
Marry and have kids like the 80s/90s. It was common to be 23 with kids then but now women have a few more options with life, careers, degrees, travelling. So yeah personally i think 23 is young to have children. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been broody for 3 years but I know now isn’t my time. I’ve seen people at 23 happy with kids and I’ve seen people at 23 unhappy and palming their kids off to Mam and dad every Saturday because they thought they’d lived their life.

 

[Gembo]

I think the most important thing is their ability to parent and their maturity. Age is just a number. Personally I think it’s good to live a little before having kids but I am sure there are 17 year olds who are better parents than some people in their 30’s. I wouldn’t have wanted kids at 23 just because I’ve done a lot of travelling and just enjoyed going out with friends and having my freedom but if someone that age is ready to put a child first and really wants that child then I think that’s not a bad thing and they are more likely to be around to see their grandchildren and great grandchildren one day

 

[Bogwoppit]

I had my first at 16, had to prove I was a good mum to very judgemental people, my eldest is now 23, has a full time job, passed her driving test at 17, she is now a mum herself & has a home of her own, I have 3 other kids, my family is complete & glad I’m not getting up with a baby anymore, my youngest is 9, some of my friends are only just starting out having their kids. I suppose it’s up to the individual really.

 

[Gossipmongers]

I am 25 and don’t yet have children, I would say myself and my partner (30) are definitely mature enough and in a stable 8 year relationship etc but as someone who had a young mum (she was 17 when she had me) this has made me more cautious to having children early in life. She wasn’t really ready to be a mother to me until she was in her late 20s/early 30s which is when we built more of a relationship. On the flip side most women are amazing mothers at the same age as my mum was but my experience as a child has effected my feelings towards having children soon.

We will be getting married, buying a house, going on some luxury holidays and saving up before we start trying just so we are in the best position possible for starting our family, I am someone that needs to be prepared and have a plan

 

[Here4thecomments]

I was 19

So was I and I did and still do an amazing job

 

[Thetruth123]

I was 17 then 20 and now just had my third at 32. I’m so fortunate that my fiancée and I are still together! So many couples have babies in their teens thinking they are grown up but in reality they are not. My Fiancée still lived his youth and often left me alone to care for our first 2babies. It was me that was the mature one. The money stresses etc is enough to split any couple up. I did resent him for many many years how he reacted and treated me. I definitely think I was too young .....but we managed and coped in the end. So much so that our relationship is stronger than ever, we are more in love than ever. Own together and run a successful business (turning over 500k plus) I’m proud we are not another teenage statistic but it can go either way so quickly.... today’s generation don’t persevere with relationships they are so disposable. I did persevere and knew I had to want it and work at it and it payed off..... 23 in the z list world and not married I’m doubtful It will last hate to say it but it’s reality

 

[Katielle13]

I’m 20 and currently pregnant. Just about to start my 4th year at uni for primary teaching and am so nervous. I’ve always known I wanted kids but just not so soon, however I am so excited as well! It’s just the house issue that’s stressing me out as myself and my boyfriend are still living at home! I am a bit young but have a lot of faith in myself to do well

 

[HowlOwl]

My husband became a father at 22. (I had my first child at 44 (not the same child!)) - but he doesn’t feel he was too young. He was working, married, and they went on to have four more children.

 

[Hello Kitty]

I think it's defintely down to the person. I wouldn't say 23 is too young, though I did think she was about 26.

I know someone that is 28 with 2 children and she is incredibly immature and is helped out by bank of mum and dad for things. I know younger people with children who are great parents.

 

[Pixipoppy]

I’d say it’s too young yes - but she has had a very different life to most of us. I just can’t see how by 23 most people would have had a stable long term relationship, reached where you want to career wise, have a house etc - not to mention having enjoyed your youth and travelled where you want to go.

Though this is coming from someone who, at 31, feels a potted plant it too much responsibility .

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

It’s a personal decision. For many 23 will be too young but for others it was the right time for them. I can see the argument for having life experiences and waiting a little longer but you can do fine as a parent without that too with the right support and maturity. I had my first at 21 and I don’t feel I was too young and that I’ve taken motherhood in my stride. Many of my friends haven’t had any kids yet at nearly 30 because they just aren’t ready or don’t want kids at all and that’s fine too.

I just feel when it comes to a woman getting pregnant everyone suddenly becomes an expert and you’re either ‘too young’ or ‘too old’ with a handful of reasons why on either side. Women shouldn’t really pay any attention to it and should focus on what’s best for them because everyone and their circumstances is different. Even before I got pregnant people said I was too young and tried to tell me what I should do with my life instead. They may have meant well but it was a waste of their time lol.

 

[Zenchick101]

It's complicated but I think you have to consider how mature you are, how financially stable you are and perhaps how relationally stable you are. Some people don't have those things done and still make it but I personally think most will have a much harder time.

 

[Jaybtee]

I was 19

 

[Loopypappy]

I was 21 when we had our first child - she is now 25 and our son is 20 (husband and I have been together for 28 years) but I have mixed thoughts on the age thing. If my eldest said she was pregnant at 21/22 I honestly don’t know how I would have reacted really. Rightly or wrongly, but with honesty, I do think she’s still a little girl so it’s a tough one. I mention at every family get together that I don’t want to be a granny before I’m 50 please and then sit back at watch the eye rolls

 

[Whatever123]

I don’t think it’s too young at all. I’m all for people having them when they’re ready however I really dislike the encouragement of women actually waiting until their 30’s.

I’m mid 20’s, in a stable long term relationship and would love to have a baby but pressures of people telling us we’re too young are definitely a contributing factor to why it isn’t on the cards right now.

I will be devastated if I leave it too late and have trouble conceiving when I could have had babies in my prime with no issues.