zanna van dijk : Most liked Posts

Next thread title suggestion: Zanna Van Dijk #6 - deleting Instagram comments is what I do, haven't you heard I'm 6 foot 2.

KM857 said:

I just can’t get my head around the photo outside A&E. It is literally an ‘accident’ and ‘emergency’ dept. It is intended for people who are acutely unwell, in severe pain, experiencing a mental health crisis etc. If you have time to get your partner to pose and smile outside the hospital sign for a photo then that tells me you probably shouldn’t have been there. She could have seen a dr the same day with her private medical insurance. But also, why the actual fuck is Ant agreeing to take a photo?? If my partner was so unwell we had to go to A&E then there’s no way I would be stoping and smiling for a photo.

Click to expand...

Clearly Zanna thought A&E is an abbreviation for Attention and Engagement..

Well I cracked. Oops. I’m a long time follower of Zannas. And then met her when we were on our big UK/Europe trip last year. I also helped her with lots of tips when she came to NZ. I thought she was so lovely and down to earth. But the last year, what the actual fuck. From the outside looking in, it’s pretty terrible to see her live the life she is living when this is taking a toll on her people and country.

Hi.... Long time tattler lurker

I first met Zanna whilst at uni in Sheffield and only in recent years I've noticed friends follow her. I've checked in every now and again on here and on her profile to see what she is about now. All I can say is wow, she wasn't pleasant then and has only gone downhill further.

The reason I've finally decided to post on here to showcase/expose her "hikes" this weekend. Being local we walk in the peak district on a weekly basis, but when I saw her "hikes" this week I died inside a little. I can't believe she is seriously hyping these up and feel I need to expose how misleading she is all for just a photo opportunity

Hike 1... Bamford Edge... 10 min walk from where they would have parked the car.
Hike 2... Mam Tor... Credit it's about a 3-5km loop and uphill, but the WORST place to visit, it's usually heaving and as someone who says they care for the environment. Mam Tor and the Great Ridge and the surrounding environment and ecosystems has been seriously damaged by the number of "hikers' over recent years
Hike 3... Winnats Pass, the most polluted place in the Peaks and not even a 5min uphill walk from the carpark.
Hike 4... Curbar Edge.. 2 min walk from the he carpark.

If anyone does want some real peak district reccs I'm more than happy to provide a real travel guide!

The chip time IS your time.
The day you get married IS your wedding day.

She struggles with the most basic facts...

Hi guys! Just Zanny Zanna here checking in. I’ve been up since 5am working hard while you’ve been asleep. I’m just so super productive! Made sure to get my work out in this morning by driving to an expensive local gym, sometimes you’ve just got to mix it up ya’know and my home gym is quite small (which is funny because I’m so tall!).


Like you all, I’m finding Winter so tough… It’s been at least a week since I’ve been on holiday and I’ve been working so hard I’ve been thinking about a weekend break away as I really deserve it. If you have any suggestions that are perfect for a tall girl please let me know, especially if you’re a brand and would like to gift me the stay. It’s great exposure and I’d love to do you that favour.

This morning I’ve been working really hard. I’ve filmed myself looking at the Daily Mail and Tattle from behind my laptop so that it looks like I’m working hard. I’ve also moved from my dining-room, to my sitting-room, to my other sitting-room because although I do have a study, I’m just sooooo random and I love the change in scenery! Plus moving around the house is a great way to stretch my really long legs.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how to tackle my ageing followers and the fact my engagement is going down, so I’ve decided to become a financial expert! (A very tall one).


I gather I’m so inspiring living in the Gifted Nest that I’d love to help all you gals out to show how I’ve done it. Only problem is I don’t actually own it and I live here mortgage free thanks to Teeny-Tiny-Ant (have I mentioned that I’m so tall I need to be careful not to step on him because he’s just so tiny?!). So I’ve decided to do undisclosed adverts for a financial investment company that I don’t really know much about. It doesn’t matter though because I’m now an expert thanks to the my degree at Google University.

Anyway please send me a message with any other suggestions you might have on what content I can make for you! I can’t think of anything myself. In the mean time here’s another reel of me showing just how much taller I am then Ant, because I really don’t care about it and just want you to know I don’t care about being taller than him. It’s so annoying how much people mention how tall I am when I never do.

Anyway, I’ve got a zoom meeting to film myself on now, so I’ll be back later!

Thanks to @littlewonder for the thread title

GUYS.

Just wanted to drop a few lines here and give kudos to myself for surviving an all-expenses paid (by my rich boyfriend) trip to paradise on Earth, where I did absolutely nothing, and didn't have to worry about a single thing, including that pesky little thing peasants call a job. Like, I could have stayed there for another month, year, life and nothing would have happened because my entire existence is completely inconsequential and the only living being that'd miss me would probably be Jojo, since she'd stop sucking money off me (Ant, really) for filling our (his) house with cheap tat. My cat hates me, my parents can't stand me anymore, my sibling hates that I share EVERYTHING online and wants to be private (what a bore). My friends despise me because all I can do is brag about being so tall and thin and get botox. Okay, maybe tiny minuscule Ant would miss me, he would not be able to reach the granola I've put on the top shelf without me. And he might need to get a dominatrix for his weird kink where he enjoys being publicly humiliated.

ANYHOOOOO (insert weird hand motions that I think are quirky in a cute way but make me look like a drunken racoon). So proud of myself. Like, how was I able to cope with having two weeks of absolute paradise and holidaying and seeing MY FAVORITE SHARK? I just... I can't even tell you how proud I am of myself, how happy I am to be this STRONG human, no professional help at all in two weeks. I had some wobbles, but luckily I am so tall, nobody noticed them.

I hope you have a bloomin' beautiful day.

Love,

Zanna "Cuntiest Wanker" Van DICK.

Zanna Van Dijk
Bandana Van Hogan

Zanna Van Munchausen

Absolutely buzzing that I beat her by just under a minute. Unlike the world's tallest lady of leisure I had to fit my training in around a very demanding full time job, and I had no fancy app to tell me what to do.
Didn't spot her during the race but I was just focusing on staying alive

Also - she needs to get whoever touches up her photos to be a bit more consistent - which is it, cleavage or abs??

Honestly if that cat sits still long enough it will be ‘panelled’

Massive mug of Yorkshire teeth must be the next thread title

You just know she’s going to try and make the wedding so unique and quirky that it will end up being the most basic of basic. There will be loads of staged “out takes” of her doing stupid dances, lunges and pulling stupid faces to show that she’s not like other brides. Her speech will start with making the doctor from the Maldives stand up and then she’ll pretend to be all choked up and say that they’re only there because of him. She and Ant will have learned some naff choreography for the first dance that at some point involves them doing the Dirty Dancing lift but it’ll be her hoisting up MLT. At some point he’ll also slide across the dance floor on his knees with a tie around his head after eating too much sugar. There will be a photo booth where people have to replicate Zanna’s best hilarious weirdo faces with a banner in the back saying “why am I like this??”
And when it’s all over, she and Ant will settle down with the guest book and a plate of slop and as they turn the first page, they see a message from the guest of honour, the man who saved her life, saying…“I can’t believe all I got was a pack of fuckin biscuits”

It's taking her a long time to make up the questions for her "ask me anything" isn't it?

I'm going to have a guess there will be:-

Q. Do you have a date planned for the wedding?
A. We're hoping to fit it in next year as I've got a lot of holidays to fit in and need to give myself some time to blag as many freebies as possible first.

Q. How does it feel being engaged? Love the ring by the way
A. It feels just the same as before really because I'm not like other girls! I would have been just as happy not having any ring at all !

Q. I was thinking of going for a hike somewhere. Do you have any guides?
A. Yes!! I've got tons of guides on my website that I've copy and pasted that no-one wants and no-one ever reads! Enjoy!

Q. How's your mental health lately?
A. This is by far my most asked question. I'd love to say that everything is all back to normal, but there's still sooo much crazy going on in the old noggin. I'm definitely not through this and I will definitely be playing on it when I feel the need for sympathy and attention.

Time stamp: 5:23am

Hey guys! Zannnnnnna here again!

It’s been a whole three months since I’ve updated here and as you’ve probably seen, a LOT has happened in the world.

The most important thing is of course that me and my Dad finally got to go on our DREAM HoLIDaY I know I go on holiday literally every weekend, but this was different guys. This one gave me DREAM insta content of cute animals and my long body in the same shot. Perfect! *cheff kiss* I even managed to claim costs back by getting my Dad to take photos of me in Stay Wealthy Swim so it was actually a work trip!

Oh I’ve just realised I’ve gone about 100 words without mentioning it, but FYI I’m SUPER tall. And not at all hung up about that.

Oh. My. GOD! you guys I can’t tell you just how incredible it was. I’m so glad that I got to go and show off to you guys just how: a) rich I am b) annoying I am c) tall I am and d) privileged I am that I can ignore a literal war in Europe that’s displaced over 2 million people and counting while seeing my fave shark hahaha.


Back to my virtue signalling: It’s actually quite annoying. I came home full of beans because I’ve been having a rest from exercise (it only counts if you’re in a gym gals!) and everyones upset with me. Just because I haven’t mentioned how distressing it is that childrens hospitals are getting bombed.

I did use my platform to help someone though as I’m such a humble person. I raised money for a middle aged white man who can afford a spenny £10K holiday plus all the diving trips before that to do this holiday who idiotically decided he was invincible and didn’t need to buy £7 holiday insurance. I don’t get it. I thought everyone only helped people they knew rather than trying to better the world in general :S Not sure why everyone is so mad at me, he’s 60 yet still not actually dead in a retirement home! He deserves our recognition.

I am providing a wholesome service for my loyal followers. I’m a safe space to avoid anything mildly upsetting happening in the world because by watching my stories you can see how having money gives you the privilege to not worry about silly things like nuclear war and a major cost of living crisis.

Plus as you know I was on an A.MAZ.INGGGG holiday and tbh I didn’t want the news to get in the way of my bloomin’ incredible content for you guys! Telling you how to help the people who’ve lost their whole worlds would have spoiled the vibe I was going for. It’s not perfect dream holiday vibes now is it?

And you shouldn’t be coming to me for news anyway as I know nothing about Ukraine or Russia.

Anyway now I’ve shared a donation link you all saw two weeks ago, here’s an ad about Crypto currency that I also know absolutely nothing about. It’s okay to post this to you guys though, and give my opinion because I’m getting paid to do it. And that’s really all I care about

*jumps into a new outfit* I’m so tall!! And quirky!

So anyway this has taken me about ten minutes to write so that’s my whole work day done! I need to spend the rest of the day eating brunch at a London cafe, catching up with someone who has a load of followers as I’m only “friends” with people who can give me something in return. I might also give some thought to the fact I don’t want children and how I can monetise that. If you have any ideas let me know!

Plus these holidays aren’t going to book themselves are they?! Tall Gal Checking Out!

Credit to @thatdeafcow for the title!

So, for anyone skipping thread #32 (who could blame you?!), here’s the condensed storyline of Zanna’s life — a carefully curated loop where she is permanently exhausted, endlessly busy, yet somehow always available for a weekday coffee, a long walk, and a reflective moment about how hard everything is. Burnout is constant, but so is the content. Funny how that never seems to take a day off.

We then move into the emotional arc — something serious has happened (details pending, always), which brings us the classic sequence: vague caption, crying selfie, “this has been really hard,” followed by a resilient comeback narrative. Cue the flood of DMs, sympathy, validation… and another reminder that she is coping so well. Perspective occasionally wobbles — especially when others around her are dealing with far heavier realities — but the spotlight remains firmly fixed. As designed.

Ant exists somewhere in the background — working in London, rarely seen, yet seemingly responsible for keeping real life afloat. Bills paid, house sorted, life admin handled… all while maintaining a safe distance from the day-to-day content circus. He appears just enough to confirm his existence, but not enough to interrupt the narrative. A mysterious, financially supportive extra who may well be the only one quietly keeping things running.

Milestones arrive loudly and are then immediately softened. 500K followers? Huge achievement. Also, somehow not a big deal. Until engagement dips, and it’s back to giveaways, “comment below,” and not so gentle nudges (begs?) for interaction. But yes, a completely organic and thriving audience.

Then there’s the injury. The long-running, life-altering, deeply limiting sciatica saga… which coexists beautifully with hiking, scrambling, cliff-jumping, and an aesthetically pleasing trip to Oman — timed, impressively, alongside rising global tensions. It’s a careful balance: too injured for normal life on British soil, perfectly capable for adventurous travel. Add in the full arsenal of money-can-buy solutions — private physios, Pilates, specialist treatments — and yet, the issue lingers. Much like the skin concerns that conveniently lead to a rotation of Harley Street treatments, also with lasting results pending. Almost as if unlimited budget doesn’t always equal resolution.

And just when you think the plot couldn’t stretch any further, we get the Lonely Planet ambassador era — specifically, for London. A city she doesn’t actually live in, having upgraded to Surrey life, yet somehow finds endless reasons to “pop back” into. The resulting borough guides? A greatest hits compilation of places everyone already knows, delivered with the enthusiasm of a fresh discovery. Lonely Planet, indeed — though arguably less about hidden gems and more about a slightly detached orbit around the obvious.

And throughout it all, the main themes remain forever unchanged: pushing through, staying strong, earning rest only after visible struggle, and maintaining that carefully crafted relatability — “vino,” casual plans, “just figuring things out” — all while operating in a reality that feels slightly… elevated.

Overall, it’s a masterclass in consistency: controlled vulnerability, flexible hardship, and unwavering main character energy. The details shift, the aesthetics improve, the treatments get more expensive — but the storyline? Exactly the same, every time.

The world’s tallest carbon footprint gets my vote, it is absolutely hilarious