BanditHealer
Well-known member
Don't think I've ever read the word rimming as much in my life.
BanditHealer
Well-known member
Thank you Miss Havisham, I'll update my Tattle rimming spreadsheet.
Venuslurker
Chatty Member
Crikey some people are being pretty harsh about Michael Hutchence choosing Paula, their chemistry was clear, it's not all about looks, you love who you love and sometimes attraction is not all about who is conventionally more beautiful.
Prince Charles & Camilla vs Diana anyone??
Prince Charles & Camilla vs Diana anyone??
It's tragic that Peaches died of a heroin overdose, but I wanna know why celebs are treated differently over 'normal' people with addiction problems?
The posters in this thread mention she was getting help with managing her addiction to heroin, why were her babies in her care then, much worse, cared for by her alone?
I was a heroin addict in recovery prescribed Suboxone instead of methadone, my choice of medication as it contains naloxone which stops you getting high if you use heroin on top of your medicine, I was really committed to getting clean.
Then during this time got pregnant with my first child and was switched to another prescribed opiate, subutex as it was deemed safer for pregnancy.
Now, I had a 1-2-1 midwife the whole time, who drug tested me throughout my pregnancy, then after my baby was born I was under the care of specialised health visitors who also monitored me and my baby closely. This is even though I had never relapsed/given a positive drug test to my key worker from the drug and alcohol services I attended to get clean, who also prescribed my medical grade opiates, before I even got pregnant.
If I HAD given a positive urine sample, I would have had my baby removed from my care, and quite rightly so. Stating the obvious, I can tell you it's unsafe to be using heroin and caring for a baby!
Why do stars get away (for want of a better word) with this when us normal folks would be deemed unfit parents, it really boils my piss?!
The posters in this thread mention she was getting help with managing her addiction to heroin, why were her babies in her care then, much worse, cared for by her alone?
I was a heroin addict in recovery prescribed Suboxone instead of methadone, my choice of medication as it contains naloxone which stops you getting high if you use heroin on top of your medicine, I was really committed to getting clean.
Then during this time got pregnant with my first child and was switched to another prescribed opiate, subutex as it was deemed safer for pregnancy.
Now, I had a 1-2-1 midwife the whole time, who drug tested me throughout my pregnancy, then after my baby was born I was under the care of specialised health visitors who also monitored me and my baby closely. This is even though I had never relapsed/given a positive drug test to my key worker from the drug and alcohol services I attended to get clean, who also prescribed my medical grade opiates, before I even got pregnant.
If I HAD given a positive urine sample, I would have had my baby removed from my care, and quite rightly so. Stating the obvious, I can tell you it's unsafe to be using heroin and caring for a baby!
Why do stars get away (for want of a better word) with this when us normal folks would be deemed unfit parents, it really boils my piss?!
Thankyou. Im doing okay, im on methadone and im not abusing that anymore either (at one point i would double up on that/miss days etc etc). My family are extremely supportive. Ive also got complex mental health issues-bpd and bipolar which i think kinda explains my risk taking behaviour when it came to drugs and my impulsivity. I have just read another post where they talk about users who could be classed as functioning users who also have professional careers, and that is me and the people i used to associate with. We are not all toothless, skinny, scruffy, trainspotting type characters!
I wrongly used to assume because i was functioning- i still had a bloody good job, paid all my bills, and was a good parent, that i could handle it. Because i used to binge and sometimes i would hammer it, and then not touch it for a couple of months. But it did get to me, and its sad but it ended with me attempting suicide twice, being sectioned, being in a mental health hospital for 6 weeks. And when i came home from hospital my family pretty much kept me as a prisoner- not that they were abusing me or anything like that, but i had to get rid of my phone, completely cut off those people, and focus purely on me and my family.
I wish it was as easy to get off drugs as some people suggest it is. Withdrawing is absolutely fucking horrible, also and this might sound crazy but heroin is a lovely drug! Why else would people intitally use it? It wrapped me up in cotton wool, and i felt amazing. I know realize its because i was trying to mask my other feelings (connected with my mental health). Its a tough thing but im getting the right support and medication- both for my addiction and my mental health, and for the first time i genuinely feel present in the moment- like i dont have any outside influence or stresses, im fully present with my children and my partner.
I completely see what you mean, and some would argue that in the end i was not functioning at all because it ended with me attempting suicide twice, being sectioned and in a mental health hospital, and then being treated like a child by my family- not being able to go out, they would look after and give me my meds so i couldnt double up, not being able to have a phone etc etc.I will hold my hand up and say I am completely oblivious to functioning addicts as in I’m aware they exist I’m just not aware of any I know. Close people in my life completely obliterated themselves on this drug, so the only firsthand knowledge I have of it is from watching them and how their lives fell apart, one is dead. I don’t meant to insult anyone with my views, I’m speaking from ignorance not intent. I applaud you for staying sober
I personally feel that the idea of functioning comes down to money. The rich people who used heroin never ever had to struggle to get the money to get hold of it, they never had to steal or lie to obtain their funds. I guess on a superficial level i could probably be described as functioning due to me going to work, paying bills, i took care of myself in terms of hygeine and looks. But on the inside- it co-existed with my mental health and was so so damaging to me and you could argue it very nearly destroyed my life. I also look back now and almost feel scared at how i used to use it after a period off it, It wouldnt matter to me that i hadnt took it for 2 or 3 months, i just used it as i would have used it had i been hammering it. And that is why my drugs worker always used to tell me- i was at more of a risk of an overdose than someone who would use it every day, and yet i didnt care. But now i realise i was trying to escape from my mental health issues.
Sorry for waffling on xx
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Idontevengohere
Chatty Member
I read an article about Bob and how angry he was at the system for child custody after he and Paula separated. He was saying how unfair it was towards fathers, that he was separated from his children after having seen them almost every day of their lives up to that point and how if he walked out taking them he would be arrested whereas the mother could and it would be fine. He, I believe, was very outspoken on improving the rights of divorced fathers. He sought custody and was eventually granted it because he wanted to protect the girls from the chaos that had become Paulas life. I find it hard to believe that he would then just ignore his children. The damage was undoubtedly done to those girls during the bitter divorce and custody proceedings and all the trauma surrounding the deaths of Michael and Paula herself. Bob maintains that he was blindsided by her leaving him. She cheated and left him and somehow he is the bad guy because he didn't roll over. Also took on tiger lily and treated her as his own and as has been said, she was the result of that terrible betrayal. I don't really like Bob Geldof, honest 
, but he imo did the best with the shitty hands he was dealt.
, but he imo did the best with the shitty hands he was dealt.
Badirene
VIP Member
That's the thing in circumstances like this what is the "right" thing to do, keep all the kids together with Bob ( even though he was hated by Michael) or send one child to Oz to the Hutence family ( that was hated by Michael) DNA means nothing in these cases you act in the best interest of the child. I also think the Hutence family may not have protected Tiger from press interests and would have sold stories and photos of her.
I also don't truly believe that Bob was an absent parent to Tiger, I remember when Bob's father died and the family came here to Ireland for the funeral, there was pictures in the papers of Tiger clinging to Bob as she was so upset at losing her grandad, apparently Bob's dad doted on her, she was the apple of his eye, that doesn't fit with a distant and absent Bob that didn't make that little girl a part of the family. I think the whole separate flat for the kids is overblown too, how many parents have a playroom or treehouse for their kids, this is just the wealthy version of that, a space for the kids to hang out that is their own, you wouldn't accuse Brenda down the road of being a negligent mother because she turfed her kids into the playroom when they got too loud and boisterous.
Now I have to have a wash for partway defending Sir Gob Geldof.
blueberriesarenice
Well-known member
Must be fucking epic to be a young man these days. Nothing off limits and all centred around porny acts for the male gaze and if the girls not up for it she’s the weird one.
missjagger
Active member
im not sure he is but those pants are full
---
I had my first baby in 1994. I bought this wonderful little book called ‘parenting girls’ or something similar. I had no parents, no family so this book became my little bible really. It was written by Paula Yates. She’ll always hold a special place in my heart for being there in that time of my life. My daughter is one subject off her Masters degree in Mental Health nursing so hopefully it means this inexperienced, overwhelmed Mum did something right
It's about class like everything else. The poor go to prison, the posh go to therapy. If she hadn't died that night, if it was just an OD she was hospitalised for do we think social services would've been involved breathing down her neck and assessing her living conditions? Not a chance. If the news got out and they couldn't spin it as a private medical emergency it'd be turned into a nice little earner with 'my drug hell' articles. Maybe a tearful turn on a talk show couch.
I've got great sympathy for the trauma with the loss of her mum but she chose to perpetuate that cycle. Doing drugs with a baby in your care is reprehensible. If she lived in a council flat in Rochdale she'd have been called all the scummy mummies in the news story comments. There's 2 different standards based on bank balance.
I've got great sympathy for the trauma with the loss of her mum but she chose to perpetuate that cycle. Doing drugs with a baby in your care is reprehensible. If she lived in a council flat in Rochdale she'd have been called all the scummy mummies in the news story comments. There's 2 different standards based on bank balance.
lalalanded
VIP Member
Soooo bit of a long post here and I did not know her at all so this is just all observational but about fifteen years ago I was really into a certain London scene (strictly for the music but the partying was sometimes off the scale) and there was a notorious online forum which I joined to find out what would be going down on any given night. Peaches was a member and posted under her own name so everyone there knew who she was. This forum was notoriously unmoderated and absolutely brutal. If someone said something daft they would take no prisoners. So you can imagine how well a teenage Peaches went down. Looking back she was just a kid trying to hang with the cool crowd but she was pretty daft and annoying. Like I said, the forum could be brutal but there were also a lot of incredibly witty and hilarious people and I would often spend time just howling at their antics. The humour was dark though. They would do things like start a pile on and mercilessly go after people. If Peaches did a magazine article and the comments were left open it was open season. Tbh, her writing was piss poor so I never really felt bad for her.
The scene was pretty hard living but I was on the older end of the spectrum, had a full time job etc so while I probably overdid it at times I was still pretty level headed just massively sleep deprived! But there were really, really young kids on that scene and I was shocked that the recreational drug of choice was smack. When I was their age it was party drugs and even they messed people up. But smack as a party drug? Big problem. Sadly, most of the young ones that started messing with it ended up in huge trouble. Peaches was obviously one of them. I saw it coming when she was about 16 and DJing in a venue in Whitechapel that was notorious for smack being done in the toilets etc. It was really messy. Both her and Pixie were rich girls slumming it and could be rude and entitled. They expected to get in anywhere for free. I didn't like either of them.
No one has mentioned here the amount of work she had done either. She was quite chubby with messed up teeth back in the day so I was surprised when she was reinvented as an earth mother as she was very slim with pearly whites and big lips. She never used to look like that. She was chubby when she was using so I personally don't think it was the drugs. I think she had a hell of a lot of work done including a lap band or weight loss surgery. She honestly looked like a completely different person at the end of her life. Without wanting to sound too mean, I think the husband and babies was just another phase she went through. I don't think it was possible for her to be a good mother and someone else was probably looking after them most of the time.
The scene was pretty hard living but I was on the older end of the spectrum, had a full time job etc so while I probably overdid it at times I was still pretty level headed just massively sleep deprived! But there were really, really young kids on that scene and I was shocked that the recreational drug of choice was smack. When I was their age it was party drugs and even they messed people up. But smack as a party drug? Big problem. Sadly, most of the young ones that started messing with it ended up in huge trouble. Peaches was obviously one of them. I saw it coming when she was about 16 and DJing in a venue in Whitechapel that was notorious for smack being done in the toilets etc. It was really messy. Both her and Pixie were rich girls slumming it and could be rude and entitled. They expected to get in anywhere for free. I didn't like either of them.
No one has mentioned here the amount of work she had done either. She was quite chubby with messed up teeth back in the day so I was surprised when she was reinvented as an earth mother as she was very slim with pearly whites and big lips. She never used to look like that. She was chubby when she was using so I personally don't think it was the drugs. I think she had a hell of a lot of work done including a lap band or weight loss surgery. She honestly looked like a completely different person at the end of her life. Without wanting to sound too mean, I think the husband and babies was just another phase she went through. I don't think it was possible for her to be a good mother and someone else was probably looking after them most of the time.
bracrumbs
Chatty Member
This thread has been really interesting. I have a couple of thoughts.
(1) people are critical of Bob’s parenting. But whilst I’m not a SW, I have worked with lots of parents trying to raise kids with additional needs. And those girls had the additional need of two traumatic events in their lives (plus the bit before where no doubt they were being told they were going to Australia but Big Bad Bob wouldn’t let them etc) and it’s deeply unfair but it’s not enough to be a good parent, you have to be on your a-game all the time. It’s exhausting. And Bob is of a generation like my own dad where you tell kids what to do and they do it. Any variant from that is too much. And god, teenagers are hard work. My own son has led a charmed life by all measurements and yet he was awful to be around from about 12 to 14. He’s come out the other side now and holds his hands up that he was pretty mean and nasty to us. But during? You’re just praying they do come out the other side.
2000 isn’t now, therapy was still not really for the everyman, ideas around psychological trauma and its effects weren’t as well-known. The sending the girls into school the next day is exactly what a lot of people did. I can remember my own grandad telling me he went into work the day after his mum died because it’s important to keep routines (and, it has to be said, it’s not the worst concept about keeping the brain busy but we have a different viewpoint nowadays about letting ourselves actually feel things)
(2) on a completely different and perhaps shallow note, it’s almost joyful to watch things from the 90s and see people looking like people. Paula in that 60mins clip has a thin top lip and a wrinkle in between her eyes and her face moves. And she’s still beautiful. I hadn’t quite realised how prevalent and just accepted it is now that a woman in her late 30s would have full lips no matter what and a completely smooth face.
(1) people are critical of Bob’s parenting. But whilst I’m not a SW, I have worked with lots of parents trying to raise kids with additional needs. And those girls had the additional need of two traumatic events in their lives (plus the bit before where no doubt they were being told they were going to Australia but Big Bad Bob wouldn’t let them etc) and it’s deeply unfair but it’s not enough to be a good parent, you have to be on your a-game all the time. It’s exhausting. And Bob is of a generation like my own dad where you tell kids what to do and they do it. Any variant from that is too much. And god, teenagers are hard work. My own son has led a charmed life by all measurements and yet he was awful to be around from about 12 to 14. He’s come out the other side now and holds his hands up that he was pretty mean and nasty to us. But during? You’re just praying they do come out the other side.
2000 isn’t now, therapy was still not really for the everyman, ideas around psychological trauma and its effects weren’t as well-known. The sending the girls into school the next day is exactly what a lot of people did. I can remember my own grandad telling me he went into work the day after his mum died because it’s important to keep routines (and, it has to be said, it’s not the worst concept about keeping the brain busy but we have a different viewpoint nowadays about letting ourselves actually feel things)
(2) on a completely different and perhaps shallow note, it’s almost joyful to watch things from the 90s and see people looking like people. Paula in that 60mins clip has a thin top lip and a wrinkle in between her eyes and her face moves. And she’s still beautiful. I hadn’t quite realised how prevalent and just accepted it is now that a woman in her late 30s would have full lips no matter what and a completely smooth face.
coffeeandwine
Chatty Member
Paula was a victim of child sexual abuse at aged 12. Her losing her virginity at that age has always been framed by the media as consensual. It is not. That is a child being taken advantage of. Look at a 12 year old! I think, unfortunately, she felt from a very early age that sex was her 'value'. Paired with a neglectful childhood, I think she really needed to feel wanted and sex was one way of getting that.
Notredamn
VIP Member
Mitch Winehouse is a foul, foul man who thrived on his daughter's spiral and notoriety to the extent of talking her out of seeking proper help. That man is still using her name to benefit his own self.
Also there is a real lack of understanding of both drug addiction on this thread (by some worryingly claiming to work in the system of service users), and the idea that not everyone processes their experiences in the same way as people are all different. And that people aren't walking drug addictions defined by drugs and nothing else. I know some people who would fit the heroine user stereotype, I also know 'fully functioning members of society' who use and hold down jobs from post man to social worker to people working in law.
Dotty Merton
VIP Member
It's so sad, it really pulls on my heart strings this one, when I was a young naive lass wanting to work in the music industry Paula was an example of a woman who wrote, managed kids, worked a vintage look, was rebellious and witty and had a rock n roll career, all the things I thought I wanted to be.
I think that finding out her father wasn't her father would of been a huge and unsettling situation for her combined with the loss of steady old Bob even if she did choose that path. I found out the same thing about my parentage and it threw my world upside down. Also my Mum tried to die when I was a toddler and alone in the house with her. I was 2. I don't remember it happening but I do remember things that happened in the weeks after.
And so, I watch the stories of this family unfold with horror and recognition and understanding and thank my lucky stars my only addictions are to tea, nicotine and snogging. Fortunately my child and their's are settled, healthy and happy. Life really does throw awful curveballs at the worst of times, some of which you can never come back from. I was always determined not to be my Mum, as sad as that seems, it helped me provide a stable upbringing for my own.
I was going to post a couple of weird links I found regarding mention of Roth getting pissed and telling a couple of girlfriends what really happened to Peaches as well as some really weird arsed story about the time she was photographed naked and high by someone claiming it was at the celeb scientology centre but right now, I think I shall I shall make a sweet cuppa and think on Paula, Peaches and my Mum for a mo and count my lucky, normal, suburban stars.
I think that finding out her father wasn't her father would of been a huge and unsettling situation for her combined with the loss of steady old Bob even if she did choose that path. I found out the same thing about my parentage and it threw my world upside down. Also my Mum tried to die when I was a toddler and alone in the house with her. I was 2. I don't remember it happening but I do remember things that happened in the weeks after.
And so, I watch the stories of this family unfold with horror and recognition and understanding and thank my lucky stars my only addictions are to tea, nicotine and snogging. Fortunately my child and their's are settled, healthy and happy. Life really does throw awful curveballs at the worst of times, some of which you can never come back from. I was always determined not to be my Mum, as sad as that seems, it helped me provide a stable upbringing for my own.
I was going to post a couple of weird links I found regarding mention of Roth getting pissed and telling a couple of girlfriends what really happened to Peaches as well as some really weird arsed story about the time she was photographed naked and high by someone claiming it was at the celeb scientology centre but right now, I think I shall I shall make a sweet cuppa and think on Paula, Peaches and my Mum for a mo and count my lucky, normal, suburban stars.
Persephonehasreturned
Well-known member
He did adopt her. I think Jeanne may have too.
A man who would raise the living proof of the affair that ruined his marriage is a rare one. I think it says a lot about Bob Geldof’s character that that he did so, having fought to do so. That wasn’t done out of spite, or one upmanship. What a hollow victory having to parent a child (closely or via nannies) for the rest of their lives would have been if that was the motivation. I think that she had had little to no relationship with her Australian family would have played a part in custody being awarded to Bob. She’d lost both her parents at 4 years old, would it have been morally right to hand her over to biologically related strangers and enforce her losing her sisters too? Surely not.
Account Suspended
Active member
Have not read the thread just thought I would add this to the mix. I am a London Taxi Driver I used to pick Geldolf up when he lived in Tite st Chelsea. He had a real aura of 'orribleness about him and he used to keep his money in a very small womans purse and when he was in company he worked it every time. They would get out, Geldolf would faff about in his purse until one of his mates/collegues got fed up and would say " I will get this" I couldnt stand the man the irony of being as tight as a ducks bum while chugging on Live Aid . Paula used to be lovely Peaches and the other one name forgot would clamber in when very young and they came across as being all very happy.
LadyStardust
Active member
I feel like I'm fairly open minded, but I can't imagine a time where I would ever have been impressed with seafood making an appearance in my bedroom.