Amythomo

Active member
Very few of us can relate to what Nikki’s going through. I do find her extremely irritating (which is why I first sought out her threads) but she’s fucking dying. Calling her a twat cos she posted a picture of herself standing in the sea with her cane? Criticising her positive attitude? Critiquing her (completely arbitrary and subjective) pain rating?

This is a young woman in her prime, who should have a long happy life with much wanted children with her husband ahead of her. Instead she’s ACTIVELY dying. She has months left at most. I know this is a “rage” thread but are people that hate-filled that they don’t have the mental capacity to empathise? Who cares if she’s not coping, or is in denial, or is regressing to childhood, or is faking positivity, or chooses that the pain of sitting in a car for a few hours is worth a memorable night away with her husband (by the looks of things this could be the last ever trip for them). Very few of us here can (and hopefully never will) relate to that.

I’m by no means a Nikki stan. I agree with a lot of stuff on here in relation to her GFM, her greediness, her calculated use of her sickness, etc. And none of this is excusable “just” because she’s dying. But maybe for now just think that this 30 something year old woman is facing the end, knowing that everything will continue once she’s gone. Her young husband is going to become a widower, her family is going to lose a daughter and sister…etc etc. Fucking hell who are any of us to criticise her actions at this time and how she chooses to live the end of her too-short life.
I'd like to reply to this as a fellow stage 4 breast cancer patient. I can relate whole heartedly to what she's going through, because I have extensive mets to bones and critical organs. When I was first diagnosed I contacted NNL for support as i was scared, she never replied but had seen my message. Fair enough, I left it and found others that supported me. Over the last 18 months my cancer has progressed and most recently now my brain. When I had radiotherapy to my brain I had logged on to instagram and saw NNL stories when she was gifted A FREE CRUISE with the most ridiculous childish pathetic look on her face, waving and hanging out of her balcony, like a over excited kid on christmas day and here I was feeling like utter shit, with less than 800 followers which obviously because I don't have a large following was not felt "worthy " enough of a FREE CRUISE. That farnaway is wrong!! Wrong that I was made to feel like that and wrong that there are companies like that that give FREE cruises to people like NNL purely based on the number of "followers" they have on social media and WRONG for NNL to rub it in people's faces, knowing full well she has many people living with a terminal illness that are not worthy enough to be gifted such a nice holiday following her. I definitely wasn't the only person who was made to feel shit by watching those stories. Since then I have absolutely no sympathy or empathy for her and as a nurse and a caring person that goes against every moral fibre of my being but she is the most selfish and fake person there is. As far as I'm concerned she is a master manipulator, I don't doubt her pain or her fear but I don't care for her, I wish her no harm but I won't be saying good things about her when she does die which a lot of people on here will and are already starting to do. She's a horrible person with an ugly personality!!
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Sad
Reactions: 52

Liblet

Member
Hey,

I’ve just found these threads - hope this doesn’t land somewhere awkward because I’m still reading, but overwhelmed right now and wanted to say thank you.

Last night I was crying because I was a horrible person. I was angry. Angry at a cancer warrior, battling stage four. Who could be angry at a stage four cancer patient? Like, how low are you? That’s what I told myself.

I was angry because of how romantic it was portrayed. How loving, active, cutesie even with giggle exchanges with nurses.

I loved the “embrace the every day” message, the dancing, the laughter, but it just felt… off.

My brother, my best friend in the world, had stage four cancer and passed away at 27. We only found out he had cancer three months before. He had no energy for anything, at most sitting outside or walking down the stairs. Those three months were torture. But we tried to make him smile -we tried guitar in hospital,games, danced discos in hospital to make him laugh. Anything. We were clawing into time to make memories.

So I cried last night because I’m an asshole for being jealous that someone had more time, and more energy, to live.

I put aside a few raised eyebrows on the content and ads. That was just me being petty.

I’ve felt down all day that I could have let myself be angry at someone living. Then I discovered these threads and I feel a little teeny bit less like a witch for raising my eyebrow at the gifted trip and go fund me situation… so thank you x
 
  • Heart
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 51

Danielle0120

VIP Member
I really enjoyed her Instagram page over the past couple of years, and I don't want to hear reasons on why I shouldn't. I liked her. She seemed really lovely.
I wasn't expecting this so soon. I hope her final moments where full of comfort, peaceful and quick.
I'm very saddened, so young and so beautiful. So cruel.

Thinking of Alex and family.

Rest in peace Nicky xx 😇
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 47

Wannabrunner39

Chatty Member
I’ve never commented on here before but have followed. I found NNL a couple of years back as my sister was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in 2020 (no signs of symptoms but was already in her liver and lungs before it was found) we then lost her in august 2021. 😢
During this time I looked for comfort, hope, support by follwing other secondary breast cancer patients and I did find NNL a breath of fresh air…but overtime my feelings have changed.
During my sisters last few months, once covid restrictions had eased all she wanted was us around her. I have cosy , warm memories of her during this time. She wanted US to have the memories as much as her . Her last weeks were hard but until the end family was most important . It was her husbands 50th birthday two days after she died but she begged us all to have the family bbq we’d had arranged during her final days and so we did in her honour even though we were in bits. Throughout the day, things were delivered to him from her, that she’d arranged despite being so poorlyMakes me cry writing this as I think about it. But tears of love for how much she thought about us too and the memories she left behind.
I feel for NNL family as her memories are all about the ones she’s making for herself. Her needs and wishes. What a legacy.
 
Last edited:
  • Heart
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 45

Warrior

Active member
I am finding the huge electrical storms last night over Surrey very very poignant given her lightning bolt theme. I know it is just co incidence - but still very moving.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 45
I hope you get to feel better soon darling it’s shit when you’re feeling rubbish. I obviously don’t know your illness but I do really hope you get some relief soon. Don’t let the 🤥 🐀 upset you Miss Muffet ❤ xxxx
Thank you lovely. I have stage 4 breast cancer too. I love alone, my partner left me when I got my diagnosis (we had very long conversations about it) because he couldn't handle not having children. I'm younger than NNL and I don't see anyone for weeks on end. She's just so unrelatable to anyone I know with cancer. I don't know how she has made a career out of cancer! If she's well enough to do all the filming and editing she does, she's well enough to work a proper job! She makes me so cross
 
  • Heart
  • Sad
  • Like
Reactions: 44

IllBredHen

Well-known member
I keep going to look at Nick's page to see if she's posted. It feels so sad that she's just stopped posting. Don't get me wrong I think it's what she should do, but I genuinely think it's not what she wanted. As in, I think she hasn't made the decision to 'clock out', I think she's too unwell and so that's sad. I think she would have kept it going as long as she could and in some ways I feel sad for her that it's maybe ended up so out of her control.

I say maybe because we've been here so many times and I half expect her to reappear tomorrow with a story / ad / gifted trip (day trip I'd imagine now) and I still think her funeral will be posted and marked #ad after her story about going there, regardless of whether we hear from her earth side again.

It's weird as I really don't like her but I do have compassion for her and especially her loved ones. I know grief so well and I hope they can find peace and comfort in the lead up to her death and the time that follows. They must be living in hell.

I find myself thinking about Alex in particular, from the perspective of someone also undergoing fertility treatment. He must have found some hope in having the treatment - a hope that they would find the outcome they must have so desperately desired to undergo such an invasive and emotionally taxing treatment. For that to have ended with no baby and a countdown to widowhood must be excruciating. How cruel to start IVF and end it with discovering a terminal diagnosis 💔
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Sad
Reactions: 44

tallula09

Active member
Nicky has passed. I hope it was peaceful surrounded by family. I am shocked at how sudden her decline was. Rest in peace Nicky.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Sad
Reactions: 44

jackolantern

VIP Member
I know people are unsettled by the pace but try to think, she had good life quality up until the very end - exactly what she strived for and what most in that position could only dream of. It is heartbreaking and cruel regardless, but a painful drawn out death full of mental anguish is much worse. I mean heck, she was in Disney just a few weeks ago! The ending was as kind as it sadly could ever be and she was still grabbing life the way she wanted as much as she could.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 44

ginnyw

VIP Member
Another bloody holiday incoming
Yes, she always seems to be quite well enough to go abroad. I was thinking today about this making memories thing, which is what she always says it is. I'm currently staying with my Dad, who is 84 and my husband is here too (he is a fair bit older than me) and the three of us were out gardening. And I realised that watching them both doing this simple, everyday thing would one day be the most precious of memories. Nothing to do with money or swanky travel or excessive amounts of crap food. Just three people working together in a sunny garden.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 43

LauraC35

Chatty Member
Suzy the syringe driver 👏🏻 Of course she’s named it 😂 My other half was diagnosed with cancer yesterday so I’m going to enrol him in the NNL school of cancer behaviour and get his living list set up 👍🏻 or in real life we will just get on with it quietly behind the scenes and deal with it like the adults we are.
 
  • Heart
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 41

ginnyw

VIP Member
There will be another update later featuring NNL looking sheepish and talking in a high voice about how she's overdone it and how she's got very high levels or low levels of something and how this wasn't part of her plan and how we must listen to our bodies and rest because having cancer isn't all about fun and holidays and going out and blah blah blah blah blah blah usual old crap......then an ad for Women's Best.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 39

Olgivy

VIP Member
It’s just using people, this is all this is. None of this is genuine. She uses ITS to get her “legacy” and he uses her to get more sales. For the entire system to work, somebody somewhere will have to part with their money. Somebody somewhere is going to get had. This is the game. Adam is no idiot—he is a businessman. He got a lot of exposure with BB, and no doubt he has done some quick sums and realised this is feesible for the balance sheet. Let’s not forget his entire business is predicated on getting people with LARGE influence to push his low quality brand. Whether you have cancer or whether you don’t, you are fair game in his agenda.

If Nicky wants to pretend she is a Disney Princess on a beach, she can crack on. I have ZERO problem with that—if that is her way of dealing with her situation. My problem is the “monetising cancer” it’s the take, take, take. It’s the turning the chemo ward, you know, where there are OTHER patients having treatment into a playground! And as for “go live your best life”, which all sounds really lovely and exciting in theory, 95% of us bloody well can’t live our best life! How can we? We have to work. Some of us also have to push on and do MEANINGFUL work in pain. We have to suck it up.

“Well be an influencer then” Not everybody wants to open the door to their life to strangers on the internet, or turn their life into a reality TV show. Some of us are private. Some of us want to do (and many of us already do) meaningful work that doesn’t require a camera in our face all day long. But we still can’t just set off and live our best life.

I honestly think the tide of the “influencer” has given people a warped sense of reality, and has made social media an absolute insufferable place to be. It’s become one big illusion. You think you relate to the “mum next door”, but a quick scroll of her feed tells you she is carefully crafting a persona to reel you in (no pun intended) to get you to click on an ad, a link, etc.

Nicky is only interested in what she can GET from her followers, that much has always been obvious to me.

I feel sorry for Stage 4 cancer sufferers watching Nicky’s page right now, who will have to somehow reconcile ALL of the attention she is getting with their current situation which is no gifts, no freebies, no beach holidays, no free cruises etc.

THAT makes me sad too.

Two things can exist at once here. I can be saddened by Nicki’s situation while also being saddened that she is part of a very insidious game, where a lot of people end up feeling bad about themselves.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 38

bopbop22

Well-known member
I think the reason NNLs death has possibly hit people here who were quite critical of her, is because Nikki, in my opinion was not a horrible person, she didn’t lie, cheat, steal, call ‘trolls’ terrible names and threaten to find them on the dark web like a certain BowelBro did, she just did what every other influencer does and that’s use the platform they have built to make money. She was a salesperson. Whether that is right or wrong was not really for Nikki to be bothered about. Social media is to blame for the platform it’s allowed people to create. Using their illness for sales etc.

I personally think it’s terribly sad, and Nikki had created such a persona on social media she had to keep that up, almost out of respect to those who have clicked links, donated etc.

I remember her Instagram when it first started with Laura and Secondary Sisters and she was great, she just got sucked into the money making way that influencing. Would I do the same if I knew my time was short and I had that opportunity, possibly. It’s tough to say.

RIP Nikki x
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 38

Catsme

Chatty Member
Talking of packing, she can’t keep up with her own lies - she packed Sure deodorant!

But I thought she only swore by her precious sponsor, Wild??? 😏😒

6B433770-4A24-4173-96E7-433BBC05B20A.jpeg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 38

Grasshopper

Active member
Thank you MissB123 for the run down....

I am a stage 4 Mets to bones....I struggle every day with the realisation of my future, and of saying goodbye to my husband and 2 young children .

Some of these *influencers* really haven't a clue of the real world.. I don't get free holidays, free clothes, etc .. for me , the struggle is real......
 
  • Heart
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 38

Cassy Role

VIP Member
She’s actually gained some weight back you can tell especially in her face and body. She looks much better for it.
---

Good for you. I’d love to know what you put xx
I was just really matter of fact. Included a link to the GoFundMe page she has and a screenshot of the balance and recent donations in case they don’t check out the link. Screen shots of her bragging how many times she’s been there etc. Asked why she’d been gifted it and what they expected to get out of it considering they’re one of the biggest brands in the World. Then I said how tone deaf it was and how there were so many more families a million times more deserving than her. For good measure I included how long it would take the average family to afford the weekend she just spent there and included some of the back lash Insta comments with user names blanked out.

They probably won’t care. I needed to say it though. Felt miles better and even if it makes someone somewhere think twice about gifting grabby gits like Nicky that’s good for me ❤
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 37
Emily was the reason I went to the drs about a really weird mole, I was diagnosed as stage 3 melanoma in 2018, was treated and it was fine. This year it came back as stage 4, I was told sorry that’s it get your will in order, here’s the deets for the hospice near you. I got a second opinion who suggested a trial, and all my tumours have disappeared except for 1 tumour which was removed and now thankfully i
Am Ned but still stage 4. I know it will come back but right now im enjoying some peace. I could grift my way into a new life online and get cruises and all sorts of free shit but I want to spend my time with my family not grifting and selling shit
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 37

jackolantern

VIP Member
Yes common human biology means what she facing will be shit.and hurt one's mentality. But not in the mentally ill this is why she is doing this. She's always done this.whne he cancer is stable.she did this from the very beginning to start gaining traction in the first place.
She outright lies about her symptoms and condition and.can change them on a wim. And she changes her mood defending on what she wants to do or portray each day.
Your trying tk explain or come up with reasons why these dickheads act this way,but putting natural human conditions to a situation. But that's jot how these twats work.
It's not noise and distraction it's a scripted behaviour to gain,manipulate and emotionally train people to be at her bec and call.
She isn't off notncoping when she needs to.and is fully OK to swing around in hospital when she wants to do a reel.dance.gonout.
She is fully able to give updates with a full on acted posted filmed edited post.
Everything she does is calculated for marketing.marketing herself.andbher illness.and it s what she does,and all of them do. To Type. The platform isn't all for cancer sufferers yet they all follow the same pattern no matter what they are using.be it dv,miscarriage,children,cleaning, styling. They all do the same tick box marketing behaviour for gains,salesm,clicks and likes. Except the product and brand is themselves.
She is somehow able to cope when she wants to tell us all about it. Will go through the same patterns each time to tease her cult and create.co tent and traction and engagement.
Her behaviour isn't constant apart from the well worn ans repeated set of marketing tools. She plays on people fears,feeling,empathy. That all it is
Jo different to any other cunt doing the same subset of behaviour for the gram.
Cancer isn't choosy.ita bound to hit many a knobhead.and many too a sm media knobhead.
She uses it. She uses it every time.
I think you are quite deluded tbh if you think that every element of her behaviour and personality is simply her being this calculating, evil monster you have decided her to be. I get you despise her, there is plenty about her I don't like also, but I am not "trying to explain or come up with reasons" why she acts the way she does, I know she calculates and uses her followers. But none of this changes the fact she is a young woman dying and must be absolutely beside herself with terror and grief. It doesn't justify everything she does no, but as much as she may irritate me, I am still capable of having that empathy you say she relies upon and stepping back and realising that atleast some of what she does, is the only way she knows how to try and cope with what she is facing. And I can't be angry at her for that. Yes, I don't agree with a great deal of how she behaves, but I can't wipe my hands of her completely and decide oh well she's a cunt fuck her. At the end of the day, I don't really care how many holidays she has or what a tit of herself she makes on Instagram because her life is still absolutely devastating. You truly believe she is enjoying any of these holidays or brand deals? Nah, it's the thrill of the chase, no different to any drug addiction, shopping spree or even something as simple as a meal out, 9/10 the thought of it is the exciting part and once you have reality it's actually shit, but add to that knowing she's just trying to run from the fact she's dying? She's in hospital right now and as much as she may toy with everyone's emotions with her posting, there is a very real possibility she may not be leaving, she has to live with that knowledge.

Ultimately, as much of a twat as she is, I can just understand some of it is all and cut her a little slack. I realise not everyone wants to do that, but I do.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 37