I have never lost a baby and I'm not Elle either, so I don't know how she feels. I did think that her continuing to raise awareness and fundraise for those who have lost babies was an incredibly brave thing to do. With the best will in the world, submersing yourself in such acute tragedy must take an almighty toll on your mental health. Likewise, trying to have another baby whilst being a campaigner must have been very difficult. I wouldn't be able to do both. I'm certain it's not really a good idea either. How do you have hope in the midst of such agony? I don't blame her at all for backing off, but obviously it goes without saying that you need to make it clear to people if your previous offer of assistance and support no longer stands.
I too found her benefitting from various freebies and expensive ones at that, to be jarring to say the least. I personally would not feel comfortable to post about baby loss one day and Ads and free gifts the next. I would find it impossible to bear living with an item given to me for free, but with the expectation of publicising the item, when I have received it as a direct consequence of my baby dying. She should have had two accounts at the very least. The thought of bereaved parents on their knees with grief, who sought Elle's page in the hope of some comfort and empathy only to discover an advert for something she had received for free, is really upsetting. I think it was a huge mistake to brag about how expensive alterations to their home were and how much they spent on what was essentially a small extension. Most families can't afford a single course of IVF. Elle, I think, had several courses and I thought she paid for some, if not all. On top of that they spent £100,000 on home alterations. You can buy a house for less than that. Obviously they can do what they want with their money, but the problem is that it did not sit well within a platform she also used for fundraising for baby loss.
I find the new book crass. There are so many mums and dads out there, who have bought Elle's book, followed her story, read her blog and will never have their rainbow. That's not Elle's fault, but it does feel as though she has metaphorically and literally slammed the door in their faces. The other problem I have is that it doesn't sound as though she has taken time off Instagram to be solely with her baby, as she claimed.She's been writing her book. That's fine, but why lie? Also, do you think she signed a contract to write a book before her daughter was born? Surely not, so why the rush? I'm not sure that I'd want to write another book about pregnancy, to follow on from the devastation of losing Teddy and including even more tales of loss, but maybe that's just me.
Finally, I really dislike her faux horror and refusal of freebies. I definately believe selling your kids is horrendous. Their privacy and safety is worth more than a free pram, carrier or toys. The problem is that she's a hypocrite. She's being smug about something she did for years.
They don't owe anyone a photo, but if they are genuinely keeping photos for her book, then that is pretty bad. I can't imagine a book without photos of their daughter. It's selling her to the highest bidder, which isn't those who've cried for her and Teddy. It's a publishing company who can hand over hard cash.
I don't blame Elle for wanting to do happy baby stuff and for not wanting to be one of those parents we all hate, those whose kids are sold on a daily basis. But I think an explanation is the least she can do. Personally I'd stop posting on Feathering the Empty Nest on Instagram and the blog, signing off with a thank you and an explanation. If she's desperate she could open another Instagram account for herself, her house or whatever.
I wish them the happiest of futures. But she needs to make it very clear whether her offer of support has been withdrawn. Parents at rock bottom deserve much more than the treatment she has apparently been dishing out. I think she's going to have awkward questions raised about the profits made from the book too, assuming it sells.
I think they all think we are sitting at home jealous (and maybe some people are) I personally couldn’t think of anywhere I rather be LESS!