Sam Faiers #18 Claims to be protecting kids, Pimps hers out to earn those quids

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The podcast this week: Sam's first day back at home from Dubai, jet-lagged and exhausted. She makes spag bol for tea, but Paul asks her why she can't cook a roast. What an absolute c*nt.
Her first night back why can’t he cook? Oh I guess he can’t, doesn’t even know how to make beans on toast. Honestly it’s like he studied a degree and got a first in how to be a lazy hole to your partner. The fact she tolerates it makes her look like a clown too. Wives of the 1920s got treated with more respect than Sam.
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Her making out it tastes delicious results in complaints. Most of the bad reviews are about the taste. Why doesn’t she manage people’s expectations and them scrutinising her face when she takes it by saying something like it doesn’t taste amazing, because no collagen does and I didn’t want to put artificial flavours in it, but it’s definitely bearable, especially for the benefits. And if you don’t like the taste what I’d recommend is making a healthy breakfast of yoghurt and blueberries (list reasons it’s healthy), take the collagen and by the time you’re a couple of spoonfuls into breakfast the taste won’t even be a memory.
You should be a business PR manager, maybe you are.
 
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Her first night back why can’t he cook? Oh I guess he can’t, doesn’t even know how to make beans on toast. Honestly it’s like he studied a degree and got a first in how to be a lazy hole to your partner. The fact she tolerates it makes her look like a clown too. Wives of the 1920s got treated with more respect than Sam.
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You should be a business PR manager, maybe you are.
I’m not but thank you! I might DM Sam with a business proposal and a price list 😂

ETA I won’t call it a business ‘proposal’, I’ll call it a business plan…I don’t want to bring up bad memories for her 😂
 
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I'd have cooked him a roast with a generous serving of rat poison, cheeky bastard
Same plus he was in Dubai before her and stayed for 2 weeks for a ‘ business trip’ she even said on her pod that it could have been done in a few days
 
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Same plus he was in Dubai before her and stayed for 2 weeks for a ‘ business trip’ she even said on her pod that it could have been done in a few days
Hmm, business trip? The man can hardly string a sentence together. I’m sure he was enjoying everything Dubai had to offer….
 
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Same plus he was in Dubai before her and stayed for 2 weeks for a ‘ business trip’ she even said on her pod that it could have been done in a few days
What business? You don’t need to go on business trips unless you’re a business person.
 
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Sam doing her bit for juvenile safeguarding by posting pics of a load of young girls in little leotards, nice one! 🙄
 
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Her sharing that video of her new bathroom with all the personalised 'K' towels 🙈 God she's so desperate to have that name it's embarrassing now
 
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Looking at how she positions the towels, Sam will say that the one at the top (that's slightly hidden) is an 'F' 🤦‍♀️, she will never be a Knightley.
 
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Looking at how she positions the towels, Sam will say that the one at the top (that's slightly hidden) is an 'F' 🤦‍♀️, she will never be a Knightley.
What an awful existence. Having to drop not so subtle hints in the hopes that some bozo who you had 3 kids with will deign to propose to you. Never gonna happen.
 
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Got the godawful Famlee Diaries on in the background and just had to rewind to check Mampha just actually said ‘when I have my hen do’ yeah keep dreaming luv 😅
 
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Can’t help but think the longer they stay together the less likely he is to propose at this point. He’s obviously happy with things the way they are.
 
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As if Paul is rearranging their tit Tesco clothes as if he owns a designer boutique 😂 bet he’s well happy to get his name on something he’s done no work for.
 
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