Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

[Miss Begotten]

Today I’ve done something that would make mumsnetters lynch me. I’ve two kids and with the weather like this the pressure to make the bastard memories is real. But I really fancied a day where I acted like I was on holiday and that’s exactly what I did. I put the paddle pool up but I let the kids do what they wanted; tv, pads, switch….crack on. I sunbathed, ate crisps, drank beer and ordered in fast food. I read a whole book.

I’ve just come inside with that slightly stingy skin feeling, smelling like suncream with a nice beer buzz. Honest to god, it was AMAZING

Personally I think that’s top parenting. Sounds bloody marvellous.

 

[underwhelmed1985]

Why did you have children if you didn’t want to be a proper parent? *head tilt* Aren’t you worried your neighbours will call social services? And a paddling pool? Gosh, well I guess some people don’t mind risking their children’s lives for so called fun *tinkly laugh*

this! I have an IRL friend who would actually say this, so naturally I shared it on Facebook to rile her up. The ironic thing is, the kids had the best day just “being”. Sometimes we all need R&R and sometimes you just have to *gasp* put your own needs first

 

[Miss Begotten]

this! I have an IRL friend who would actually say this, so naturally I shared it on Facebook to rile her up. The ironic thing is, the kids had the best day just “being”. Sometimes we all need R&R and sometimes you just have to *gasp* put your own needs first

Mother here.
You are 100% spot on.

 

[orangehead]

this! I have an IRL friend who would actually say this, so naturally I shared it on Facebook to rile her up. The ironic thing is, the kids had the best day just “being”. Sometimes we all need R&R and sometimes you just have to *gasp* put your own needs first

Some of my best memories as a kid are the days we did ‘nothing’ or things that just happened at home or round a relatives house or whatever, I think it’s healthy. So Mumsnet will definitely hate it

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Personally I think that’s top parenting. Sounds bloody marvellous.

Did anybody die?

No?

Then that is indeed top parenting.

That has always been my personal criterion.

 

[orangehead]

Did anybody die?

No?

Then that is indeed top parenting.

That has always been my personal criterion.

Well no one is technically dead yet but she’s feeding her children crisps and fast food and that’s even worse.

 

[underwhelmed1985]

Well no one is technically dead yet but she’s feeding her children crisps and fast food and that’s even worse.

Even let them share a can of pop

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Well no one is technically dead yet but she’s feeding her children crisps and fast food and that’s even worse.

Oh GOD!

It's just an unexploded fat bomb, isn't it?

Those poor kids - tomorrow morning they could wake up size American, their lips still covered with grease and salt, unable to wash their "hard-to-reach" places without using a soap-soaked bit of rag on the end of a stick.

WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU, @underwhelmed1985 ?

Edit because I cocked up the username

 

[Miss Begotten]

Even let them share a can of pop

Good god, your back garden must have looked like an episode of Shameless.

 

[orangehead]

Oh GOD!

It's just an unexploded fat bomb, isn't it?

Those poor kids - tomorrow morning they could wake up size American, their lips still covered with grease and salt, unable to wash their "hard-to-reach" places without using a soap-soaked bit of rag on the end of a stick.

WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU, @underwhelmed1985 ?

Edit because I cocked up the username

Hopefully the neighbours have called 101, 119, 111, 105, 999, 112 and 123 already and the children will be rescued by a nice slender family who send them to at least 12 lessons and clubs a week and don’t even shop where crisps are sold.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Hopefully the neighbours have called 101, 119, 111, 105, 999, 112 and 123 already and the children will be rescued by a nice slender family who send them to at least 12 lessons and clubs a week and don’t even shop where crisps are sold.

With luck that will mitigate the complex-PTSD they are doubtless suffering.

 

[orangehead]

Can anyone help this woman in AIBU? I personally wouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t dettol his bum on the hour every hour and sit on a (dettoled) tarp so I can’t help.

DP (who I love dearly, this is just for fun!) goes running a few times a week and says he can't shower as soon as he gets home as he's still sweating. Instead he sits down on the living room sofa/chair for a while to cool down before showering.

The problem is that DP, who doesn't normally smell, has an absolutely honking post-run butt. I'm worried that the smell will build up over time and the living room will stink. DP says I should chill out and he should be able to sit down in his own living room.

AIBU to ask him not to do that? How can we reach a compromise!?

 

[Codiaeum]

Can anyone help this woman in AIBU? I personally wouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t dettol his bum on the hour every hour and sit on a (dettoled) tarp so I can’t help.

DP (who I love dearly, this is just for fun!) goes running a few times a week and says he can't shower as soon as he gets home as he's still sweating. Instead he sits down on the living room sofa/chair for a while to cool down before showering.

The problem is that DP, who doesn't normally smell, has an absolutely honking post-run butt. I'm worried that the smell will build up over time and the living room will stink. DP says I should chill out and he should be able to sit down in his own living room.

AIBU to ask him not to do that? How can we reach a compromise!?

Could you ask him to sit on something non fabric instead? I think you have a fair point, the sweat will over time soak into the fabric and yeah, that will smell. Sweat also isn’t just water, it can be oily and salty and at worst you’ll have stains.

 

[underwhelmed1985]

Omg I’m howling

 

[Codiaeum]

Honking post-run butt is quite something

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Can anyone help this woman in AIBU? I personally wouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t dettol his bum on the hour every hour and sit on a (dettoled) tarp so I can’t help.

DP (who I love dearly, this is just for fun!) goes running a few times a week and says he can't shower as soon as he gets home as he's still sweating. Instead he sits down on the living room sofa/chair for a while to cool down before showering.

The problem is that DP, who doesn't normally smell, has an absolutely honking post-run butt. I'm worried that the smell will build up over time and the living room will stink. DP says I should chill out and he should be able to sit down in his own living room.

AIBU to ask him not to do that? How can we reach a compromise!?

She should turn the hose on him as soon as he walks up the driveway, then marshall her waterfowl into a queuing formation, call a SHL, LTB and call the coroner, just in case she catches arse rot.

 

[orangehead]

Honking post-run butt is quite something

Let’s just be glad there was no photo

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

Can anyone help this woman in AIBU? I personally wouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t dettol his bum on the hour every hour and sit on a (dettoled) tarp so I can’t help.

DP (who I love dearly, this is just for fun!) goes running a few times a week and says he can't shower as soon as he gets home as he's still sweating. Instead he sits down on the living room sofa/chair for a while to cool down before showering.

The problem is that DP, who doesn't normally smell, has an absolutely honking post-run butt. I'm worried that the smell will build up over time and the living room will stink. DP says I should chill out and he should be able to sit down in his own living room.

AIBU to ask him not to do that? How can we reach a compromise!?

Haha surely he's only sweating because he's hot, get him in a cold shower! I sweat for approx 3 business days per 1K that I run so I do know what he means, I'm beetroot even after a cold shower.

 

[Serene Serena]

Today I’ve done something that would make mumsnetters lynch me. I’ve two kids and with the weather like this the pressure to make the bastard memories is real. But I really fancied a day where I acted like I was on holiday and that’s exactly what I did. I put the paddle pool up but I let the kids do what they wanted; tv, pads, switch….crack on. I sunbathed, ate crisps, drank beer and ordered in fast food. I read a whole book.

I’ve just come inside with that slightly stingy skin feeling, smelling like suncream with a nice beer buzz. Honest to god, it was AMAZING

I mean this kindly, @underwhelmed1985, but you were drinking BEER? During the day? In your garden? I'm sorry but I think you need help. If you call Alcoholics Anonymous, they will offer you non-judgemental support to stop your reckless, out of control alcohol habit. As for sunbathing, what will happen to your children when you keel over and die from skin cancer?
<shakes head in a disapproving manner>

 

[MediumLoad]

The thought of underwhelmed1985's DCs witnessing their mother's descent into chronic alcoholism has made me hold my children in a tight embrace. Well, I don't have any children so I cuddled the cat instead but the sentiment is the same.