Your in-laws

[AmeliaFatFace]

You know it didn't even occur to me to say something to everyone else on the call. Now you've mentioned it, why didn't anyone say anything?! Maybe it's time to just step away from them and have a little break for a while, get away from the toxicity.

Saying that, the M-I-L hasn't messaged me since and like I said, we talk everyday! So she clearly knows I was upset and her husband was being a massive bellend. But yeah...why didn't she say anything...hmm

Sadly I’d imagine he treats her poorly behind closed doors too. It’s unlikely he’s a great guy 99% of the time and thinks it’s acceptable to openly humiliate just you

 

[Dickydoo123]

I cut my husbands mother off a few years ago as the final straw to her behavior. She was always used to being in control and having what she says goes. Unfortunately for her, her son married me and that behaviour doesn’t sit right with me nor will I allow our child to believe that is how you treat people in life. She has never been held accountable for her behaviour until I called her out on it (after many years). My family are close and we treat each other with respect. Your position within the family certainly doesn’t give you a pass for crappy behaviour. Situation now is her and her partner will never step foot into my house again, they see my child when I say and hubby can go round when he likes it’s his mother at the end of the day. The sister in law has recently gone underground so I presume she’s realised I’ll never allow her mother back in our family life and has taken her side. That’s fine. FIL is a diamond, worship the ground he walks on. He’s a real family man. Continual apologies don’t work for me, only a change in behaviour shows how truly sorry somebody is. My child knows the score, I will never defend toxic, crappy people however I put no pressure on them to not go round but should they ever drag my name through the mud in my child’s presence they will be cut off in a heartbeat.
Funny though I know one of them stalks my SM so I have a bit of fun with that every now and again. Childish I know but play that game with me and I’ll burn you.

You know it didn't even occur to me to say something to everyone else on the call. Now you've mentioned it, why didn't anyone say anything?! Maybe it's time to just step away from them and have a little break for a while, get away from the toxicity.

Saying that, the M-I-L hasn't messaged me since and like I said, we talk everyday! So she clearly knows I was upset and her husband was being a massive bellend. But yeah...why didn't she say anything...hmm

The shock of his comment probably stopped you all in your tracks and maybe, not only embarrassed you but the other people on the call too. Would’ve been better if MIL could’ve text you later on and said ‘I’ve had a word with him about what he said, he was out of order etc etc’ Just an acknowledgment would’ve been better than her silence! I hope it goes ok for you at weekend

 

[KayTay]

I cut my husbands mother off a few years ago as the final straw to her behavior. She was always used to being in control and having what she says goes. Unfortunately for her, her son married me and that behaviour doesn’t sit right with me nor will I allow our child to believe that is how you treat people in life. She has never been held accountable for her behaviour until I called her out on it (after many years). My family are close and we treat each other with respect. Your position within the family certainly doesn’t give you a pass for crappy behaviour. Situation now is her and her partner will never step foot into my house again, they see my child when I say and hubby can go round when he likes it’s his mother at the end of the day. The sister in law has recently gone underground so I presume she’s realised I’ll never allow her mother back in our family life and has taken her side. That’s fine. FIL is a diamond, worship the ground he walks on. He’s a real family man. Continual apologies don’t work for me, only a change in behaviour shows how truly sorry somebody is. My child knows the score, I will never defend toxic, crappy people however I put no pressure on them to not go round but should they ever drag my name through the mud in my child’s presence they will be cut off in a heartbeat.
Funny though I know one of them stalks my SM so I have a bit of fun with that every now and again. Childish I know but play that game with me and I’ll burn you.


The shock of his comment probably stopped you all in your tracks and maybe, not only embarrassed you but the other people on the call too. Would’ve been better if MIL could’ve text you later on and said ‘I’ve had a word with him about what he said, he was out of order etc etc’ Just an acknowledgment would’ve been better than her silence! I hope it goes ok for you at weekend

M-I-L sounds like a right piece of work - you did the right thing cutting her out! You're still giving her a chance to have a relationship with her grandchild so she needs to tread carefully and remember that!
The SM fun really made me laugh. You've got to have a bit of fun every now and again, haven't you!! Serves them right for still stalking you

Thank you, you're so right. He clearly did make everyone else on the call feel uncomfortable so that's just not on. I'm annoyed with my M-I-L for not saying anything so the chat at the weekend will be an interesting one! Thanks for your message

 

[Itsallaboutmememe]

My in laws are the best people I could ever hope to meet-they’ve taken me in and just loved me from day one (ok,they think I’m a bit mad but they just laugh at me)
being round them is like being cuddled with love-I adore them and would do anything for them-they are the most amazing people I’ve ever met-they never judge-they just support us both

my own family?
they can rot in hell
My mother is a controlling narcissistic nightmare
she wanted kids so she could control us and mould us to be her double and an extension of herself (My biggest faults are being female and taking after my father not her)
my father,brothers,aunts,uncles,cousins and sister in laws are her flying monkeys/fleas

ive been beaten,controlled,financially abused,they tried to take my children,(they settle for bad mouthing me-the kids are older)They tried to make me homeless-reported me to social services (19 times in 15 years)as a way to control me-they’ve stolen from me,bad mouthed me all over the place,they have been known to ruin my relationships with both boyfriends and friends,they’ve ruined special times (like my graduation and major birthdays) I’ve had my reputation smeared,she broke into my home more than once,my son came out as gay-she howled about how it’s all my fault because I drank while pregnant (I don’t drink-ever) and she tried to call out a priest to ‘cure him’(he told her to duck off and cut her out of his life)any presents I bought her just went straight to the charity shop-a beautiful cross stitch I spent months making?she burnt it-cos I didn’t frame it-I didn’t have any money to buy a frame-I could go on for hours (I’ve made my in laws 3 cross stitches-they hung them so you see them as you walk into their home and proudly tell anyone who will listen that ‘itsallaboutmememe made them for us’

i cut them off just short of ten years ago
ive made it very clear to my bloke that if he ever meets them then we are over (we’ve been together 5 years this October and it’s been the longest relationship I’ve ever had)
I can’t bear the thought of them ever coming near him-or any of the other people I love and trust in my life

i hope the whole lot of them rot in hell-I have zero regrets
if I saw them on fire,I’d pour petrol on them just to make sure the flames really took hold
But in their eyes they’ve done nothing wrong and I’m just being a ‘dramatic witch’

 

[wotdidijustwatch]

DH and I don't have children, I have issues that will prevent me conceiving and MIL knows this. DH is an only child so I guess she might resent me a little as she may never be a grandma. She has said how disappointed she feels at perhaps never been a grandma but what can I say? Errm sorry my bits dont work right....
But what irks me about her is how everytime one of her friends or cousins becomes a grandma she tells me about it. Messages like "Anne welcomed her fourth grandchild last night, her fourth one!"
I always reply back something nice like aww lovely send her my love, whats her address i'll send her a card but I never get a reply from her.

 

[Dickydoo123]

DH and I don't have children, I have issues that will prevent me conceiving and MIL knows this. DH is an only child so I guess she might resent me a little as she may never be a grandma. She has said how disappointed she feels at perhaps never been a grandma but what can I say? Errm sorry my bits dont work right....
But what irks me about her is how everytime one of her friends or cousins becomes a grandma she tells me about it. Messages like "Anne welcomed her fourth grandchild last night, her fourth one!"
I always reply back something nice like aww lovely send her my love, whats her address i'll send her a card but I never get a reply from her.

But her son being settled and happy isn’t enough? Why do they have to turn into psycho granny wannabes as soon as a DIL is on the scene? My husbands mother once commented how we were selfish for only having one child. Apparently, an only child is a lonely child . Failed to remember a medical diagnosis stopped any plans for us having any more children. You just couldn’t make it up, some people are beyond toxic.

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

My in-laws hates me since the day I married their son, he was no longer at their beck and call. After years of them financially abusing him it’s their loss. They’ve never met our baby or even asked about the baby. Again their loss. Can’t stand my mil at all.

 

[SkinkaareFan]

M-I-L sounds like a right piece of work - you did the right thing cutting her out! You're still giving her a chance to have a relationship with her grandchild so she needs to tread carefully and remember that!
The SM fun really made me laugh. You've got to have a bit of fun every now and again, haven't you!! Serves them right for still stalking you

Thank you, you're so right. He clearly did make everyone else on the call feel uncomfortable so that's just not on. I'm annoyed with my M-I-L for not saying anything so the chat at the weekend will be an interesting one! Thanks for your message

Hi, just wondering how you got on?

Did he apologise?

 

[Sosig]

I've been with my partner almost 3 years and I'm yet to meet my in laws, I'm not in a rush. We don't have children and we're not married.
I've met his cousin and all of his friends but the parents seem to have problems of their own so theres never really been a right time
My ex's mother was an absolute psychopath and he basically ended it because she told him to. She was painfully nice to my face but then as soon the ex and I had a falling out that was it, I was banished
As for my own family, my mother is the devil, my father never bothered with us.
I'm close to my brother but not really with my sister as there is a huge age gap between us.

 

[Rlaw1978]

I’m pretty sure my MIL hated me the moment she set eyes on me. First thing she did was take me aside and say “I could break you two up anytime I want”.
When I was pregnant with my first, my husband and I chose a beautiful pram & paid for it ourselves. We made the mistake of bringing her along to pick it up as we didn’t drive at the time. She refused to let us have it, refused to put it in her car, saying how she didn’t like it and how she wanted us to have one she likes. I was emotional and 21 at the time and cried all the way home.
There’s so many instances where she’s been extremely nasty and controlling.
These days she’s ill and housebound. She’s fallen out with all her other family and friends. She phones 6,7,8 time’s a day for min of 30mins at a time. My husband works a highly emotionally stressful job, so I deal with her most of the time. She hates that of course, a get a list a mile long of how her son let her down etc etc. I’m sure she’d like nothing better than him to divorce me and set up home with her.