Your in-laws

KayTay

Member
Hi Tattlers.

Does anyone else ever imagine drop-kicking their in-laws over a fence?

Quick summary, I've been with my partner for 10 years next year so it's safe to say I know his family well. I've always got on with my mother-in-law; she's a lovely lady who would do anything for anyone, we speak every day without fail. My father-in-law, however, is quite simply a massive a-hole. If he was American he'd be a Trump supporter for sure.

Take tonight for example, during a Zoom call with the immediate family, my father-in-law made the whole "who ate all the pies" joke about me.

I.was.mortified.

I acted as if I didn't hear it but I could see the gasps and awkward looks on everyone else's face. If anyone else says anything even remotely rude to/about me I always stand my ground, but tonight I just did...nothing. I don't understand why I didn't tell him where to go.

So, what I really want to know is, how would you handle this? He's always been an insensitive, judgemental, miserable little tw*t, but I'm so freaking sick of it now. He's made jokes at my expense before, especially about my weight as he knows how self-conscious I am, but tonight was a step too far.

Any advice on what to do with him would be greatly appreciated. I honestly don't know how to handle it without making family gatherings (when we can have proper ones again!) feel awkward.

Please also feel free to rant about your in-laws, as I know there will be some shockers out there!

K x
 
I've got a real corker. My husband and I have been married 15 years this week. We met again (went to school together) and were married within 8 months (long distance). His sister (2years older than us both) is a prize b*tech. She has been jealous of me since day dot and his parents and brother and total f#&k nuts.

I lived abroad so after we got married in my home country at the time we moved back to England. His mother never approved of me as I came from a broken home (my parents are divorced). His sister went to physically assault me 6 weeks after our wedding and his parents say by and watched. We moved back to my home country at the time within 6 months which went down like a lead balloon. His mother called around every Tom Dick and Harry to let them know I was taking her son away.

Anyway fast forward 6 years and 3 kids later my other half a parent's managed to convince him to move back to England under the guise of looking after the kids do we could both work and buy a house (we had rented). We lived with them m for 3 years 2 months and 6 days and it was a living hell, his sister physically assaulted me one night....his mum threw hot tea at me and both parents would shit stir in our marriage when I was at work. Finally we moved out and hot our own place and I gave my other half an ultimatum that it was either us or them. We haven't spoken to his sister who lives around the corner from us since that first time after we were married and she fell out with us (jealous control freak) we don't speak to his parents although his dad drives past almost daily and stops every 6 months or so thinking his son will want them back. We haven't spoken to his younger brother (the prodigal son) who is a little [email protected]#t. I couldn't tell you all the things things they have said, done and put me through........they are literally pure evil. We don't have the best marriage as a result of it but my husband finally woke up to what they were like and how they had manipulated him most of his life so I relish the fact that they now have no relationship with their son or grand children and having us move back backfired in their face. Their daughters kids are late teens and the brother is firing blanks......so their loss!!!!!
 

Kim Mild

Active member
I really can't stand my father in law either. We all met up in the garden last week and true to form he ended up saying something out of line to upset me. He says quite a lot that I consider to be out of line but this time I think he went too far. My dad died (pre-pandemic) and we are selling his house. Fil was saying we should live in it cos that's what he wanted. My dad had never given me that impression. He knew I wanted to move to another town and now I have, I'm in catchment for a a better school for the kids ,which my eldest goes to and we still had trouble getting them a place when we moved. (If he did expect us to commute to school , the situation has now changed a bit due to covid) There are other houses that could more suit our needs. And lastly how would fil know this? I don't think they saw each other often enough,without me there to talk about stuff like that. Giving him the benefit of doubt ,he misinterpreted what my dad thought could be a short term situation to avoid us having our mortgage. Even so, talking about recently deceased family is something he should be a bit more sensitive about

Sorry about the rant but I feel better for getting it off my chest.
 

KayTay

Member
I've got a real corker. My husband and I have been married 15 years this week. We met again (went to school together) and were married within 8 months (long distance). His sister (2years older than us both) is a prize b*tech. She has been jealous of me since day dot and his parents and brother and total f#&k nuts.

I lived abroad so after we got married in my home country at the time we moved back to England. His mother never approved of me as I came from a broken home (my parents are divorced). His sister went to physically assault me 6 weeks after our wedding and his parents say by and watched. We moved back to my home country at the time within 6 months which went down like a lead balloon. His mother called around every Tom Dick and Harry to let them know I was taking her son away.

Anyway fast forward 6 years and 3 kids later my other half a parent's managed to convince him to move back to England under the guise of looking after the kids do we could both work and buy a house (we had rented). We lived with them m for 3 years 2 months and 6 days and it was a living hell, his sister physically assaulted me one night....his mum threw hot tea at me and both parents would shit stir in our marriage when I was at work. Finally we moved out and hot our own place and I gave my other half an ultimatum that it was either us or them. We haven't spoken to his sister who lives around the corner from us since that first time after we were married and she fell out with us (jealous control freak) we don't speak to his parents although his dad drives past almost daily and stops every 6 months or so thinking his son will want them back. We haven't spoken to his younger brother (the prodigal son) who is a little [email protected]#t. I couldn't tell you all the things things they have said, done and put me through........they are literally pure evil. We don't have the best marriage as a result of it but my husband finally woke up to what they were like and how they had manipulated him most of his life so I relish the fact that they now have no relationship with their son or grand children and having us move back backfired in their face. Their daughters kids are late teens and the brother is firing blanks......so their loss!!!!!
The whole family sounds like a right piece of work! You absolutely made the best decision by ultimately blocking them from your life. They clearly do not have their own son's interest at heart otherwise they would never have acted the way they have!

If it was me and I wasn't able to have a relationship with my grandkids, I'd be doing EVERYTHING in my power to make it right. But they're not. That just proves your point that you're better off without them.

You've got your own family now and it sounds like hubby has finally woken up and realised they're poisonous. I know you said you don't have the best marriage right now because of it, but each day things will get easier and better as you get further and further away from all the toxicity!

I really can't stand my father in law either. We all met up in the garden last week and true to form he ended up saying something out of line to upset me. He says quite a lot that I consider to be out of line but this time I think he went too far. My dad died (pre-pandemic) and we are selling his house. Fil was saying we should live in it cos that's what he wanted. My dad had never given me that impression. He knew I wanted to move to another town and now I have, I'm in catchment for a a better school for the kids ,which my eldest goes to and we still had trouble getting them a place when we moved. (If he did expect us to commute to school , the situation has now changed a bit due to covid) There are other houses that could more suit our needs. And lastly how would fil know this? I don't think they saw each other often enough,without me there to talk about stuff like that. Giving him the benefit of doubt ,he misinterpreted what my dad thought could be a short term situation to avoid us having our mortgage. Even so, talking about recently deceased family is something he should be a bit more sensitive about

Sorry about the rant but I feel better for getting it off my chest.
What is it about father in laws where they think they can just say whatever they like and get away with it?!

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It must have been incredibly difficult for you. The last thing you need right now (or ever, for that matter) is someone telling you how to live your life.

My advice would be to simply ignore it. You do you. At the end of the day, he's your dad and only YOU will truly know what's best and the right route to take from here. Your father in law needs to be more sensitive. It's such a delicate subject at the best of times but something about assets left behind really bring the nosey out in people!!
He really has no right to butt in and start telling you his opinions when you didn't ask for them!

Whatever you do, you'll make the best decision for your own family. Tell your F-I-L where to stick it. Good luck with everything ❤
 
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Yes they are completely screwed in the head....the lot of them. They also hate the fact that whilst we live as close as we do they are not a part of our life and certainly never will be again. They also hate the fact that I told everyone and anyone ( extended family and friends) what they had put me and my children through.......that was the icing on the cake as they could no longer play this game of happy families 😆. They picked the wrong person to screw with!!
 

Raininvain

Active member
I would just have nothing more to do with FIL OP which if he lives with other in laws would include not seeing the lot of them. At the end of the day you don't have to put up with it and they are not your family. I'd just say to my partner his Dads a cunt and I'm not putting up with it so that's it.
 

Orange Creme

VIP Member
Hi Tattlers.

Does anyone else ever imagine drop-kicking their in-laws over a fence?

Quick summary, I've been with my partner for 10 years next year so it's safe to say I know his family well. I've always got on with my mother-in-law; she's a lovely lady who would do anything for anyone, we speak every day without fail. My father-in-law, however, is quite simply a massive a-hole. If he was American he'd be a Trump supporter for sure.

Take tonight for example, during a Zoom call with the immediate family, my father-in-law made the whole "who ate all the pies" joke about me.

I.was.mortified.

I acted as if I didn't hear it but I could see the gasps and awkward looks on everyone else's face. If anyone else says anything even remotely rude to/about me I always stand my ground, but tonight I just did...nothing. I don't understand why I didn't tell him where to go.

So, what I really want to know is, how would you handle this? He's always been an insensitive, judgemental, miserable little tw*t, but I'm so freaking sick of it now. He's made jokes at my expense before, especially about my weight as he knows how self-conscious I am, but tonight was a step too far.

Any advice on what to do with him would be greatly appreciated. I honestly don't know how to handle it without making family gatherings (when we can have proper ones again!) feel awkward.

Please also feel free to rant about your in-laws, as I know there will be some shockers out there!

K x
I guess you froze in shock, freezing is a similar response to fight or flight.

I would have said something like 'what a rude thing to say'.

I would also speak to the others who heard and ask them why they thought it ok to let him say this and not stick up for you.

If mother in law would do anything for anyone then she could at least ask her husband to be nice to her daughter in law.

I'm sorry he said that to you though, you dont deserve it at all. He is obviously very immature.
 

KayTay

Member
I guess you froze in shock, freezing is a similar response to fight or flight.

I would have said something like 'what a rude thing to say'.

I would also speak to the others who heard and ask them why they thought it ok to let him say this and not stick up for you.

If mother in law would do anything for anyone then she could at least ask her husband to be nice to her daughter in law.

I'm sorry he said that to you though, you dont deserve it at all. He is obviously very immature.
You know it didn't even occur to me to say something to everyone else on the call. Now you've mentioned it, why didn't anyone say anything?! Maybe it's time to just step away from them and have a little break for a while, get away from the toxicity.

Saying that, the M-I-L hasn't messaged me since and like I said, we talk everyday! So she clearly knows I was upset and her husband was being a massive bellend. But yeah...why didn't she say anything...hmm 🧐
 

Orange Creme

VIP Member
You know it didn't even occur to me to say something to everyone else on the call. Now you've mentioned it, why didn't anyone say anything?! Maybe it's time to just step away from them and have a little break for a while, get away from the toxicity.

Saying that, the M-I-L hasn't messaged me since and like I said, we talk everyday! So she clearly knows I was upset and her husband was being a massive bellend. But yeah...why didn't she say anything...hmm 🧐
Yes he only does it because he thinks it's funny and so far has got away with it. Your husband should be sticking up for you also.
 

KayTay

Member
Yes he only does it because he thinks it's funny and so far has got away with it. Your husband should be sticking up for you also.
Yeah he does think he's hilarious. He's ALWAYS making snide little comments about people. Whenever we see them, if it's not one of us he's commenting about, you can guarantee he's got something "funny" to say about someone else!

I did speak to my hubby about it. He said he didn't even hear the comment being made on Zoom (I'm inclined to believe him because he was messing about on his phone). But when I told him he said I need to speak to the in-laws and let them know it upset me and he can't go around saying things like that. We've got another call on Friday, I won't say anything there (unless he makes other comments!!) but then seeing them on Sunday so I'll certainly be saying something then. Just need to find the right way to go about it.
 

DCICassieStuart

VIP Member
My father in law passed away a couple of years ago. He was an absolute gentleman, such a good kind man, you couldn't meet nicer.

As for the rest of them, I hope they all burn in hell.

If I was to write down everything that they've done to me and put me through over the years, I'd be identified here straightaway so unfortunately I can't do that.

To put it politely, they're a bunch of twisted c**ts :mad:
 

Orange Creme

VIP Member
Yeah he does think he's hilarious. He's ALWAYS making snide little comments about people. Whenever we see them, if it's not one of us he's commenting about, you can guarantee he's got something "funny" to say about someone else!

I did speak to my hubby about it. He said he didn't even hear the comment being made on Zoom (I'm inclined to believe him because he was messing about on his phone). But when I told him he said I need to speak to the in-laws and let them know it upset me and he can't go around saying things like that. We've got another call on Friday, I won't say anything there (unless he makes other comments!!) but then seeing them on Sunday so I'll certainly be saying something then. Just need to find the right way to go about it.
Yeah I think your husband should say it for you to be honest. It's bad enough you had such a personal attack (which is what it was) in the first place without now having to put yourself through a confrontation.

I'm not sure but maybe your hubby could say to his dad that he didnt appreciate the comment made about his wife. I feel for you, I have been through similar with my own dad and I've had to put boundaries in place xx
 

KayTay

Member
My father in law passed away a couple of years ago. He was an absolute gentleman, such a good kind man, you couldn't meet nicer.

As for the rest of them, I hope they all burn in hell.

If I was to write down everything that they've done to me and put me through over the years, I'd be identified here straightaway so unfortunately I can't do that.

To put it politely, they're a bunch of twisted c**ts :mad:
I'm so sorry to hear about your F-I-L, he does sound so lovely 😔

It's awful when we lose the good ones and are left with the shit.

Yeah I think your husband should say it for you to be honest. It's bad enough you had such a personal attack (which is what it was) in the first place without now having to put yourself through a confrontation.

I'm not sure but maybe your hubby could say to his dad that he didnt appreciate the comment made about his wife. I feel for you, I have been through similar with my own dad and I've had to put boundaries in place xx
Thanks lovely. I'm gonna speak to hubby after work. He's not one to shy away from confrontation (when it's justified) so I'm hoping he does have my back on this. He knows how much of an ass his dad is. I'd like to be there when he talks to him, though. After this thread I've got myself a bit riled up and have a few things that need to be said! xx
 

bellinibobble

VIP Member
I’m going to come over all MN now, but every time he makes a sly dig, you should try repeating his words back to him or saying, sorry what did you just say? He’s only saying it because he knows he can get away with it without being questioned or pulled up on it.

Also, this should not be your problem to solve alone! Your husband should be sticking up for you, and telling his dad to lay off you. How horrible that your father in law is being so mean 😔
 

KayTay

Member
I’m going to come over all MN now, but every time he makes a sly dig, you should try repeating his words back to him or saying, sorry what did you just say? He’s only saying it because he knows he can get away with it without being questioned or pulled up on it.

Also, this should not be your problem to solve alone! Your husband should be sticking up for you, and telling his dad to lay off you. How horrible that your father in law is being so mean 😔
Thank you! I've spoken to my husband and he's absolutely on my side. He definitely didn't hear the comment, but reckons he would have said something at the time if he did. So we're going over there on Sunday to give him a piece of our mind and tell him it has to stop. Whether he likes it or not, I'm part of the family! I'll happily cut him out if that's what he wants/can't reign it in, but it'll be his loss missing out on future grandchildren!!

Thanks for your advice ❤
 

bellinibobble

VIP Member
Thank you! I've spoken to my husband and he's absolutely on my side. He definitely didn't hear the comment, but reckons he would have said something at the time if he did. So we're going over there on Sunday to give him a piece of our mind and tell him it has to stop. Whether he likes it or not, I'm part of the family! I'll happily cut him out if that's what he wants/can't reign it in, but it'll be his loss missing out on future grandchildren!!

Thanks for your advice ❤
Glad to hear he’s on your side, good luck for the weekend 💖
 
Thank you! I've spoken to my husband and he's absolutely on my side. He definitely didn't hear the comment, but reckons he would have said something at the time if he did. So we're going over there on Sunday to give him a piece of our mind and tell him it has to stop. Whether he likes it or not, I'm part of the family! I'll happily cut him out if that's what he wants/can't reign it in, but it'll be his loss missing out on future grandchildren!!

Thanks for your advice ❤
Good luck 🙂
 
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