Your embarrassing & funny stories!

[ProphecyGirl]

Are You Not Ashamed Of Yourself? Are You Not Embarrassed? This is really embarrassing!


So with all this doom and gloom going on, I thought we could all share our funny and embarrassing stories, give us all something to giggle at!

I'll start with one I have...

So a couple years ago, I went out for mad Friday. I obviously got very drunk and ended up giving the 'you up' text to an ex... anyhowww I went to see him.
He lived in a sort of shared accommodation, which wasn't a house share but more of an apartment and each floor had 3/4 bedrooms with a bathroom and then a shared living room and kitchen for those bedrooms.

He actually had his younger daughter staying to we just chatted and what not in the communal living room, she was safe and fast asleep in his bedroom. He eventually went off to bed and I stayed in the living room trying to get a taxi and I couldn't because of it being so busy, I ended up falling asleep on the sofa.

Anyway, I woke up so sudden with an urge to pee. Like I needed it there and then!!! But because the bathroom was in the bedrooms I couldn't enter (it was locked and I didn't wanna wake the daughter up) I was like wtf do I do?! It was a case of now or never.
I thought about the kitchen sink - unhygienic
Or maybe putting my arse outside the living room window, which was like floor length with a opening so it was possible, however, I was wearing a jumpsuit so it would be my tits and arse. I was panicking. I was sweating.

I spotted something in the corner of my eye, it was a Pringles tub. This was my only option.

Yes. I peed into a Pringles tub (it was half empty) I quickly bagged it up and chucked it into bin outside as soon as I left. I mean it was creative at least but yep

Please share yours!

 

[Selenophile]

Having sex with my husband and popped a butt plug in.
He proceeds to pound me, and the whole butt plug gets somehow swallowed up inside my bum.
Had to go to the loo and "poo" it out

I'm so glad this happened with husband of many many years and not earlier days as I think I'd have died of embarrassment as a youngster

 

[Mulholland Drive]

Leaving a dildo on the back seat of a taxi after my 21st birthday party, and I was totally out of my face!

(The dildo was a present and unopened)

 

[ProphecyGirl]

I've also walked through half the office with my dress tucked into my tights

 

[watermelon sugar]

Swiping through my gallery on my phone showing my MIL pictures and forgot the next pic was a nude of my tits

Had my Mum find out I had been sending nudes when I was 15 that got sent round the school

 

[derbyshiregirl]

When I was about 19 I was at my friends house playing about with makeup and needed to wash my hands.
I walked into the bathroom and started washing my hands and heard a noise behind me.
Her dad was in the bath!! I panicked and quickly ran out. Makes it worse that he’s a bit of a creepy bloke.

We had locks on our bathroom/toilets at home so I never thought anything of just walking in when the door opened. Who doesn’t have a lock on their bathroom door?? So risky.

 

[Babyyoda88]

Ugh here goes

Back when I was 17/18 and my then bf use to stay, my mum didn’t like him sleeping in my bedroom so he would have to sleep on the couch. One night my brother was out for the night so my bf could sleep in my brothers bed.
In the morning I got up and went into my brothers bedroom (obviously knowing my bf was in there not my brother) and there was an arse hanging out the bed so I spanked it and out shot round the horrified look of my brother, who had only bloody well returned during the night and kicked my bf out of his bed and gotten in himself!! Never been so mortified. Don’t actually think I’m over it and I’m now in my 30s ha.

 

[letsmeltthatlard]

Years ago I'd been sent home from school, and my dad wasnt in when i got back, and I was dying for a tit, absolutely dying for a tit. How could I relieve myself being locked out? There was a shed at the bottom the garden, I climbed behind it and had a tit, covered it up with newspaper "nobody will know but me" I thought.

To my horror, about a week later my dad starts emptying the bleeping shed! "What are you doing dad?" I ask... "Oh, this shed is old now and I'm taking it down before it collapses" he says.

a few hours pass and he storms in the house and rages "WHICH ONE OF YOU FILTHY bleeping BASTARDS HAS HAD A tit BEHIND MY SHED!!!?"

26 years later, and he still doesnt know it was me that tit behind his shed

 

[Trixabellee9393]

When I was about 19 I was at my friends house playing about with makeup and needed to wash my hands.
I walked into the bathroom and started washing my hands and heard a noise behind me.
Her dad was in the bath!! I panicked and quickly ran out. Makes it worse that he’s a bit of a creepy bloke.

We had locks on our bathroom/toilets at home so I never thought anything of just walking in when the door opened. Who doesn’t have a lock on their bathroom door?? So risky.

Creasing

Ugh here goes

Back when I was 17/18 and my then bf use to stay, my mum didn’t like him sleeping in my bedroom so he would have to sleep on the couch. One night my brother was out for the night so my bf could sleep in my brothers bed.
In the morning I got up and went into my brothers bedroom (obviously knowing my bf was in there not my brother) and there was an arse hanging out the bed so I spanked it and out shot round the horrified look of my brother, who had only bloody well returned during the night and kicked my bf out of his bed and gotten in himself!! Never been so mortified. Don’t actually think I’m over it and I’m now in my 30s ha.

Omg I’m dead

 

[justheretoread99]

Up with horrendous insomnia and dying at this thread why did it suddenly stop?

A few years ago I worked in a small office with around 15 people on our floor with 2 (unisex) toilets.

One afternoon after my lunch I got the worst stomach cramps and felt like I was about to tit myself. Ran to the loo to relieve myself of this massive tit. Like it was actually massive. I’m the type of person to hold it in when it comes to shitting and go at home. But this time I couldn’t hold it in.

It. Wouldn’t. Flush. I kept flushing and flushing then panicked thinking everyone will know I’ve gone for a tit because I’ve been gone ages. In my despair, I rolled toilet paper around my hand like some form of makeshift paper glove, scooped my massive tit up and launched it in the sanitary towel bin. I then put more toilet roll on top of it and sprayed probably half of the air freshener around the cubicle.

I felt awful. I couldn’t look the cleaner in the eye for weeks knowing what she must have had to deal with that day.

 

[whisperchat]

I got drunk on Jaeger once at my friends house, proceeded to vomit black jaeger puke all over his mums beautiful white bathroom.. I just remember him picking up the bath mat and shoving it in the washing machine and saying 'its ok! its ok!' because I was sitting on the floor crying at myself.. then I passed out on his bed.. apparently fog horn snoring all night... woke up to him walking around his room looking at me like... utter shame... I don't think I have many embarrassing things happen to me sober thank god... I will have a think because there's probably something my brain has managed to try and block out I'm sure

 

[BattleAxing]

I think I’ve told this on here somewhere before but I heard the congregation of my teenage son and his friends howling with laughter so looked outside. They were chasing eachother with my rampant rabbit. I was mortified. I had to go and retrieve it and by that point it was on the floor and they were kicking it at eachother. Every time I bent down to pick it up one of the boys would boot it at another so I was like a piggy in the middle. When I eventually managed to retrieve it the thrust action was still on and it was thrusting away in my hand. By then all the neighbours in our cul de sac had come out to see what all the commotion was and they all cheered and chanted like I was a footballer scoring a goal when I finally got it. I didn’t come out of the house for weeks, I had never been so embarrassed in all my life. My younger child had found it whilst snooping my room for hidden snacks claimed he didn’t know what it was and took it out to show to his older brother to ask him instead.

 

[BirkenheadTranny]

I think I’ve told this on here somewhere before but I heard the congregation of my teenage son and his friends howling with laughter so looked outside. They were chasing eachother with my rampant rabbit. I was mortified. I had to go and retrieve it and by that point it was on the floor and they were kicking it at eachother. Every time I bent down to pick it up one of the boys would boot it at another so I was like a piggy in the middle. When I eventually managed to retrieve it the thrust action was still on and it was thrusting away in my hand. By then all the neighbours in our cul de sac had come out to see what all the commotion was and they all cheered and chanted like I was a footballer scoring a goal when I finally got it. I didn’t come out of the house for weeks, I had never been so embarrassed in all my life. My younger child had found it whilst snooping my room for hidden snacks claimed he didn’t know what it was and took it out to show to his older brother to ask him instead.

Omg this has killed me I would have died. Like, dropped down dead and never returned

 

[Marcinabolan]

Mines not that embarrassing compared to dildo football, but as a teen I once had a sleepover at my mates house. We top and tailed on the bottom bunk and her younger brother was on the top. The next morning I farted loudly when I tried to slip it out quietly. Over breakfast he came down and asked ‘Did anyone hear that motorbike outside this morning?’

 

[ElChanguito]

I got a quote from a local firm for new back doors. The quote came from a local lad I knew I had seen on Instagram before. Within minutes of receiving his email I went onto his IG and accidentally liked a photo And my user name is so specific to me, he had to know what had happened. I’m sure he got a notification and everything. Imagine sending a work email then the next minute the recipient likes your IG pic I’m not a stalker, I was just being curious, honest!

 

[Poggypig]

Are You Not Ashamed Of Yourself? Are You Not Embarrassed? This is really embarrassing!


So with all this doom and gloom going on, I thought we could all share our funny and embarrassing stories, give us all something to giggle at!

I'll start with one I have...

So a couple years ago, I went out for mad Friday. I obviously got very drunk and ended up giving the 'you up' text to an ex... anyhowww I went to see him.
He lived in a sort of shared accommodation, which wasn't a house share but more of an apartment and each floor had 3/4 bedrooms with a bathroom and then a shared living room and kitchen for those bedrooms.

He actually had his younger daughter staying to we just chatted and what not in the communal living room, she was safe and fast asleep in his bedroom. He eventually went off to bed and I stayed in the living room trying to get a taxi and I couldn't because of it being so busy, I ended up falling asleep on the sofa.

Anyway, I woke up so sudden with an urge to pee. Like I needed it there and then!!! But because the bathroom was in the bedrooms I couldn't enter (it was locked and I didn't wanna wake the daughter up) I was like wtf do I do?! It was a case of now or never.
I thought about the kitchen sink - unhygienic
Or maybe putting my arse outside the living room window, which was like floor length with a opening so it was possible, however, I was wearing a jumpsuit so it would be my tits and arse. I was panicking. I was sweating.

I spotted something in the corner of my eye, it was a Pringles tub. This was my only option.

Yes. I peed into a Pringles tub (it was half empty) I quickly bagged it up and chucked it into bin outside as soon as I left. I mean it was creative at least but yep

Please share yours!

When I broke my ankle i couldn’t get up the stairs for the toilet this was just after coming back from the hospital getting a cast ect I had to piss in a pan as I was desperate hahha
---
Another one getting my hair cut get the phone to show barber how I want it cut didn’t realise I was watching a sex video me and partner made and he saw it I was watching it a few hours before god how embarrassing