Women with Autism?

[CynicalV]

Hi everyone,

I am looking to get a referral for an autism assessment, and was just wondering if anyone here has autism or knows someone who does, adult women specifically (I'm 23). I've been doing my own research of course but, given I also have anxiety, I am just getting increasingly anxious and worried about the whole thing. Every time I go to my GP or counsellor (of which I've had a few) I feel like an imposter and worry they think I'm just making everything up. I've struggled throughout my whole life and thought we had settled on Generalised Anxiety Disorder but now that's not looking likely, after a year of being on anxiety medication. So now going down this path and seeing if I could potentially be on the spectrum, which is a whole other world I never even considered, but the more I think about it, the more it's convincing me and overwhelming me.

Like I said if anyone here has any info or anecdotes I'd appreciate it a lot, but if not don't worry as this is just a huge anxious ramble.

Thank you!

 

[Prinfluencer]

Other than anxiety what other traits do you have? I found medication didn't help my anxiety and I needed CBT to combat it to a degree I can function.

Also it is said that is more difficult to say females are on the "spectrum' as they are better at masking traits

 

[CynicalV]

I can relate to pretty much all of the signs on the NHS page, for example I can relate to these:

• getting very anxious about social situations
• finding it hard to make friends or preferring to be on your own
• seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to
• finding it hard to say how you feel
• having the same routine every day and getting very anxious if it changes
• avoiding eye contact
• sensory difficulties (more prevalent when younger)
• getting too close to other people, or getting very upset if someone touches or gets too close to you
• having a very keen interest in certain subjects or activities
• liking to plan things carefully before doing them

I also found particular resonance with Tania A. Marshall's resource about women's experiences, I ticked off many things, a lot of them I never considered as being 'not the norm' or evidence towards a condition. That resource is here: https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress....sperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/
And like you said it is typically more difficult to diagnose women, which is why I'm confused. I forgot to say that I have attempted CBT in the past, I originally was placed in CAHMS during my high school years, and then moved on to the adult service but found myself getting increasingly frustrated with it. I then was placed on phone appointments due to the stress on the service in my area, but it didn't last long for me as I have anxiety about speaking on the phone which is hilarious when trying to get therapy on a phonecall. After that I have sort of suffered in silence and just chucked whatever tablets my GP has given me down my throat

 

[thatstupidcat]

Hi everyone,

I am looking to get a referral for an autism assessment, and was just wondering if anyone here has autism or knows someone who does, adult women specifically (I'm 23). I've been doing my own research of course but, given I also have anxiety, I am just getting increasingly anxious and worried about the whole thing. Every time I go to my GP or counsellor (of which I've had a few) I feel like an imposter and worry they think I'm just making everything up. I've struggled throughout my whole life and thought we had settled on Generalised Anxiety Disorder but now that's not looking likely, after a year of being on anxiety medication. So now going down this path and seeing if I could potentially be on the spectrum, which is a whole other world I never even considered, but the more I think about it, the more it's convincing me and overwhelming me.

Like I said if anyone here has any info or anecdotes I'd appreciate it a lot, but if not don't worry as this is just a huge anxious ramble.

Thank you!

You don’t need to justify yourself: articulation is perhaps the hardest thing I have noticed in the people I know with autism. It seems very hard for some of them to convey their perspective because it’s innate rather than something chronic or with acute stages.

Personally, I wouldn’t focus on labelling or trying to “tick” the correct boxes for a diagnosis at this stage. Instead, I would recommend homing in on what difficulties that you suffer from such as physical (coordination / self care), mental health (depression, fixation, intrusive thoughts and anxiety) and social (shyness, reading of social cues etc.)

Once you have listed them out, try to think or research ways to address them: self-care might need a referral to an occupational therapist. Mental health might require referral to a clinical psychologist or a counsellor. Social stuff is a bit more tricky but for the grown ups I know, they have ”practiced” their social skills by joining a hobby group focused on their current fixation (anything from knitting, cars, computers or role playing). Which means even if they have nothing to say, they can talk about their hobby to other people in the group or not as they choose to.

Check out the National Autistic Society’s website as well. Other than that, my observation is generally that both adult men and women with unaddressed autistic traits seem to try too hard to mask their difficulties which I personally believe can create a bit of an anxiety or even depressive spiral as they struggle to cope.

Just a side note: in my area of the UK (Essex) the health trusts here can sort of wash their hands of people who are diagnosed with autism when it comes to mental health issues as a lot of practitioners seem pretty keen to dismiss symptoms as being rooted in ASD rather than anything else. I don’t know where you are but you may want to keep that in mind, and even if you aren’t diagnosed, that doesn’t mean you still don’t need help.

Source: In a professional and personal capacity, I know a lot of people (males and females and children) with ASD and a lot of the co-morbidities (developmental as well as mental health).

 

[Lunamoon22]

Be prepared for a long wait for an assessment, mine took just over a year to come through. And honestly I went through waves of anxiety, being overwhelmed and constantly worried about being a phoney and wasting people’s time.

I used the wait time to write down absolutely everything in my life that I had difficulty with. I created a long timeline sectioned by ages and wrote down everything. It turned out to be something like 50 pages worth and I felt embarrassed to let anyone see it but as it turned out it was a huge help for the assessor!

It took about 5 months for an official diagnosis, and even though I was unofficially told at the assessment that they thought I was autistic I still had doubts and anxieties about it.

Unfortunately there is very little help with adults with autism, and as I was only diagnosed earlier this year (I’m in my 30s) I’m still trying to find my feet and deal with my diagnosis.

But for me, after years and years of being misdiagnosed with general anxiety and having numerous therapists dismiss my sensory issues and struggles as me just being ‘over sensitive‘ and ‘over thinking‘, it worth going through and I’m starting to feel like I’m finally getting answers as to why I’ve struggled so much in my life.

Hopefully that made some sort of sense and wasn’t too rambling

 

[no-no]

I can relate to pretty much all of the signs on the NHS page, for example I can relate to these:

• getting very anxious about social situations
• finding it hard to make friends or preferring to be on your own
• seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to
• finding it hard to say how you feel
• having the same routine every day and getting very anxious if it changes
• avoiding eye contact
• sensory difficulties (more prevalent when younger)
• getting too close to other people, or getting very upset if someone touches or gets too close to you
• having a very keen interest in certain subjects or activities
• liking to plan things carefully before doing them

I also found particular resonance with Tania A. Marshall's resource about women's experiences, I ticked off many things, a lot of them I never considered as being 'not the norm' or evidence towards a condition. That resource is here: https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress....sperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/
And like you said it is typically more difficult to diagnose women, which is why I'm confused. I forgot to say that I have attempted CBT in the past, I originally was placed in CAHMS during my high school years, and then moved on to the adult service but found myself getting increasingly frustrated with it. I then was placed on phone appointments due to the stress on the service in my area, but it didn't last long for me as I have anxiety about speaking on the phone which is hilarious when trying to get therapy on a phonecall. After that I have sort of suffered in silence and just chucked whatever tablets my GP has given me down my throat

Book an appt with your GP and go over these points. If they seem reluctant to refer you for an assessment you will have to stand your ground as some aren’t very well versed in ASD, especially in women.

Waiting lists of 2+ years for an assessment are commonplace so think about the what ifs once you’re on the list. I would say keep an open mind and engage with mental health services if there are any, don’t look to a diagnosis to help with anything other than potentially understanding the way you are a little better. It’s a diagnostic pathway with the option to join groups at the end. Not great

Aspergirls is a nice sub on reddit, I would check that out.

 

[NitrousOxide]

Sorry to hear you're struggling. Not responding to your medication doesn't mean you don't have anxiety; it might just be that the medication doesn't work for you. I sympathise with your struggle to find something that helps, though, and it's so frustrating.

It's hard to get an autism diagnosis on the NHS as a woman; if you can afford to to private the Lorna Wing centre has a good reputation for their expertise in how autism shows up in women differently. In terms of speaking to your GP, I'd suggest taking some notes with you (even the list of traits on the NHS website and note how each one affects you), maybe find the AQ test online and bring it with you to show your score.

The NHS like to hear about how your daily functioning and your work are negatively impacted so if you struggle to hold down a job (v. common with autism) or brush your teeth, shower, clean etc. let them know this and they might take you more seriously. If they don't, ask to see another doctor until one agrees to refer you for an assessment. Take someone with you if you feel stronger that way - sometimes we struggle to advocate for ourselves and professionals can be dickheads.

Try to get as much information as possible about your childhood and make sure they know these traits have been there all your life (even if you learnt to mask extremely quickly, which you probably did as a young girl).

Good luck.