Womanhood rants

[Snippysnips]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

I'd probably just hand it back an say it was a nice thought but you just have too much going on right now, it seems like he wanted to do a nice thing but I agree it's a bit much pressure to put on you when you really don't know him

Also I'd probably recommend doing manual till you have passed your test then going auto an taking a lesson or two to get comfortable with it, I HATE manual but having had a brother as a driving instructor he refused to learn me auto an I passed with a manual, I know how you feel with being uncomfortable with it as I myself really wasn't comfortable,I also struggled a lot in the beginning with stalling which just added to my frustration, but if you pass in a auto then you aren't allowed to drive a manual unless you have passed a test where as if you pass in a manual then you can drive automatic with no test, so if you were to rent a car in a emergency an there was no autos then you wouldn't be able to take a manual with a auto license

 

[Mooordgirl]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

Thats an awful situation to be in. Good intentions but too much pressure. Mind yourself

 

[Snippysnips]

Yes, this is an official statistic. In my experience, GPs don't have enough knowledge of gynaecological conditions and how they should be investigated. I went to my GP and she reluctantly sent me for an ultrasound (which was all clear). The technician doing the ultrasound asked me some questions and told me I needed to go back to the GP and push for a referral to a specialist for a laparoscopy, particularly as my mum had endometriosis. Ultrasounds don't always pick up endo so it's important not to rule it out if it comes back clear.

Eventually I was referred to a gynaecologist, he agreed to conduct the laparoscopy and found I did have endometriosis. I haven't had any surgical treatment but the diagnosis meant I could be prescribed stronger pain relief and I'm protected under the Equality Act 2010 so have more accommodation at work for needing time off etc.

Thanks, am going look more into this because I've honestly felt at times that it really can't be normal to get pains as bad as I get them, especially when you hear about other woman still going on about their day as normal or even playing sports an being fine

 

[ElChanguito]

Thats an awful situation to be in. Good intentions but too much pressure. Mind yourself

Thank you, that's really kind. It was such a crazy sum to give me. £50 for one lesson would have been plenty. I wish I'd never paid his cheque in now! I don't want to be beholden to a man!

 

[Itsmedoctortea]

When you go to pick something up off the floor and it takes about 10 attempts that's how i know i'm due my period

 

[DanaScully]

Can it really take as long as this? I've honestly been wondering if I have it because I am almost bed bound with period pain most times an have always just been told "you just get it bad" the past little while hasn't been as bad because I've been getting extra strong painkillers for it

Yes, this is an official statistic. In my experience, GPs don't have enough knowledge of gynaecological conditions and how they should be investigated. I went to my GP and she reluctantly sent me for an ultrasound (which was all clear). The technician doing the ultrasound asked me some questions and told me I needed to go back to the GP and push for a referral to a specialist for a laparoscopy, particularly as my mum had endometriosis. Ultrasounds don't always pick up endo so it's important not to rule it out if it comes back clear.

Eventually I was referred to a gynaecologist, he agreed to conduct the laparoscopy and found I did have endometriosis. I haven't had any surgical treatment but the diagnosis meant I could be prescribed stronger pain relief and I'm protected under the Equality Act 2010 so have more accommodation at work for needing time off etc.

 

[pinkmug]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

I'd give the money back. This sounds like too much financial attachment to a person you're not even close with. Thank him for the gesture, I'm sure he meant well but you can explain to him that you have other priorities right now and can't focus on the lessons and you're not comfortable holding onto this amount of money. It's weird of him to drop such a huge amount on you, I'd hate it too.

 

[shadowcat5]

Fear is engraved in me and I hate it. Avoiding certain hours of the day, avoiding certain locations if I'm alone, avoiding drinking alone in case my drink gets spiked, avoiding the park at night, avoiding conversing with random strangers because who knows it will be taken as an excuse to push boundaries, avoiding this, avoiding that, constant vigilance. It's like playing Operation with my life, worst part is if a man is determined to hurt me, none of my "sensible" life choices will matter. I know not every woman lives like this but I can't help it, even if I take a chance it's always in the back of my head. I wish I had the peace of mind of a man casually deciding to take a walk after midnight with headphones on.

i can relate to this (i think all women can tbh). I struggle to walk in cycle track behind me house cause the fear is too much. It’s not really a relaxing walk when I’m constantly turning around to see who’s behind me, seeing someone in the distance and getting the fear

 

[Snippysnips]

My rant would definitely be Endometriosis related! It takes women eight years on average to be diagnosed because we're told that excruciating and disabling pain is normal and "Just part of being a woman!".

Can it really take as long as this? I've honestly been wondering if I have it because I am almost bed bound with period pain most times an have always just been told "you just get it bad" the past little while hasn't been as bad because I've been getting extra strong painkillers for it

Does anyone else feel literally insane for about a day just before their period? I feel so irritable like someone will breathe in my direction and I want to go feral lol then I start to feel overwhelmingly sad and convince myself everyone hates me. Next day my period comes and it all makes sense but I’m never able to recognise it at the time cos it’s so all consuming

I could rip people's heads off the day before mine, honestly am do angry an irritable before it, absolutely anything can set me off

 

[Kim Mild]

Horses are quite a female thing . There area few girls I went to school with who have horses now they are adults. Those huge horsebox lorries are usually driven by women too.

 

[Slaybutter]

I’ve been wondering if we have one of these threads I’m so hormonal, just sad and angry for now reason other than it being that time!

 

[Snippysnips]

I hesitated putting this in another thread I am in, and I want to be clear I don't judge any woman for her choices regarding this/ I don't think I'm better than someone who doesn't, but since I stopped shaving my body have felt SO MUCH BETTER.

I haven't shaved anywhere below my neck in nearly six years (stopped in my mid-twenties/ now in my early thirties) and it's so nice not thinking about it. I save so much time, money, I like how my body looks, I feel sexier and more comfortable existing with body hair than I ever did as a stressed out teenager/ student shaving and hating it.

Shortly after I stopped, I moved to a beach town and was worried I'd get more anxious there, but I went to the beach in a bikini with hairy armpits and legs and no one cared, or if they did, they did not mention it to me at all. The fear of someone saying something was higher than the actual risk, in my situation/ geographical location at any rate.

At work, when I worked in person, I wore just below knee-length skirts/ dresses sometimes and no one ever mentioned it (including when working as a receptionist in private healthcare in the UK)/ In my current, admittedly pretty liberal, industry I have attended national conferences with leg hair and it was fine! If I look at my twenties, it's without doubt the best decision I made about my body and I get that it's not possible for many women depending on their work/ industries/ friendship groups/ families/ partners and in some circumstances you might get a lot more pushback than I did/ it might be genuinely unsafe. But not shaving is, in some circumstances, definitely an option.

I'm going to get off my soap box about this but I hope this doesn't come across as judgemental - I just felt so sure age 14-24ish that the world would end if I had a body hair out of place/ that people would hate me/ shun me/ shout at me in the street and that's...never happened (it probably would have as a teenager but not as an adult).

I wish body hair didn't bother me as much as it does, I can't even stand stubble, I've shaved when there's barely been anything there an it's probably damaging my skin, I even went for a waxing once an still found myself shaving a few days later because I felt like it was starting, an I honestly don't know how to get over it

I'd like to know when in society it started that woman had to shave but men can get away with it

 

[DanaScully]

Thanks, am going look more into this because I've honestly felt at times that it really can't be normal to get pains as bad as I get them, especially when you hear about other woman still going on about their day as normal or even playing sports an being fine

Please do! There's an endometriosis thread here on Tattle you may want to have a read through also.

Keep pushing until you get referred to a specialist, don't let your GP fob you off. Tell them exactly what impact it's having on your life (and job if applicable) every month, and detail the pain as much as you can. Good luck x

 

[shadowcat5]

Horses are quite a female thing . There area few girls I went to school with who have horses now they are adults. Those huge horsebox lorries are usually driven by women too.

yeah it’s interesting how horses are seen as a female thing yet jockies tend to be male

 

[watermelon sugar]

LEG HAIR
Why you grow so fast!!!??

Omg since i’ve had a baby mine grows SO fast

 

[Marcinabolan]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

Give him the money back, tell him to put the heating on and to back the Hell off! You don’t need that stress esp when you didn’t even ask for the money. Go and learn in an auto in your own time x

 

[NH14]

Same with cooking and chefs. Its traditionally the womns job but most top chefs are male.

and Hairdressing

 

[shadowcat5]

I wish body hair didn't bother me as much as it does, I can't even stand stubble, I've shaved when there's barely been anything there an it's probably damaging my skin, I even went for a waxing once an still found myself shaving a few days later because I felt like it was starting, an I honestly don't know how to get over it

I'd like to know when in society it started that woman had to shave but men can get away with it

second this^ it itches me like it’s no one’s business