Why is your ex an ex?

[SqualorVictoria]

There were many that we just broke up because we weren't compatible or grew apart so I'll focus on the worst guy I've ever dated

Used to borrow money off me ("I forgot my wallet") and never paid me back

He went on holidays and asked did I want any perfume in the duty free. He asked for money for it (despite the fact that he hadn't paid me back all that other money he owed me)

Made derogatory comments about my small tits

Cheated with multiple women. One memorable incident was when we were in a bar and some girl kept looking over at us. Eventually she threw her drink over me. He swore he had never seen her before

Cancelled a date because he had to look after his friend who's cousin was dying of cancer. I later found out that she wasn't a friend at all but some girl he had just met

Cancelled another date because he was working late, he was then tagged on Facebook by some girl. They were out having dinner together

I'm so angry when I think back to how I put up with all of this but he would always talk me round

Didn't buy me a Christmas present

Was obsessed with money and status (but was cheap as fuck)

We went to see a Natalie Portman film in the cinema and he told me I was "no Natalie Portman"

Eventually he started being nicer to me but the damage was done. We had booked a holiday, he had purchased the flights and then one day, it hit me like a tonne of bricks- I didn't like the guy and couldn't stand being in his company. I called it off and told him he could consider the money he paid for the flights as payment for what he owed me.

The day I got my self respect back was such a satisfying feeling

He's married now but a friend spotted him on Tinder and I'm not in the least bit surprised, what a horrible slimy prick

 

[Tlb92]

My previous relationship we was on/off for 5 years and it was very toxic. Cheated on me multiple times.
Complete disinterested in our son or us being a family or doing anything together.
Looked through my phone. Took my phone away from me. Went through my Facebook, deleted men off there. Constant accusations of cheating even though the only one who cheated was him.
Made me out to be a psycho.
Didn't help me with rent/bills or anything in general. I felt like a single mum living with a lodger who'd turn up and go out whenever he wanted.
Massive coke head.
Disrespected my family and was racist about my grandad who was born in India.
Didn't make any effort with my family.
Completely ruined my mental health and I ended up really skinny being with him.
Punched me in the face.
Threw me down the stairs and I fractured my foot.
I think I stayed because of our son.. I know you should never stay with someone because of the kids. Don't know what the hell I was thinking.5 years of misery! I cried probably everyday I was with him.

On a brighter note I am with someone who is amazing, supportive and lovely now

 

[Lilooooo]

Cheated on me whilst on holiday together last year..now engaged to her . Would leave me alone in our flat every weekend to go out. Never helped with housework. I had to buy my own Christmas presents. Never gave me rent money on time. Would put his friends & the xbox before me. Borrowed around £1000 off me and still hasnt paid me back. Left me in a shit financial state & now paying off a lot of debt because of him

 

[Sooverthat]

1. Liar liar
2. Emotionally manipulative
3. Liar
4. Emotionally abusive
5. Physically abusive
6. Doesn't know what 'no' or 'I don't want to' means. Put his dick where he wanted any way.
7. Fathered 3 children with 3 different women and told me nothing about any of them. Until I was pregnant with his child and a concerned ex contacted me to warn me to which he had to admit all.
8. Threatened me with a knife
9. Cheater
10. Big Fat liar

 

[Tweacle]

Mine went to the pub in xmas night, came home Boxing Day, wearing his new leather jacket that his other girlfriend bought him . Then asked me to stay with him as she could only see him at n the weekends. Funnily enough that was a no from me !

 

[LittleBird]

My last ex is an alcoholic with a drug problem and we would have to agree to how many intoxicated days he could have per week. He was narcissistic and would consistently worry about himself before all others. Through the first lockdown he would play xbox from 9am all the way through to about 4am the following morning because he was furloughed. Never helped me with DIY or housework and told me this was his chance to see what it was like to be retired. That's just our 2020, it was 4 years of trouble. Oh and he gave me chlamydia .

I'm so glad to be away even though I've put myself into some debt to escape. The pit of constant anxiety in my stomach has gone and I feel free. Once our house sale completes I am completely cutting ties and do not want to be near him again.

 

[Anon879]

Eurgh, where do I start!

Cheated pretty much from day 1 of our relationship. Even went as far as to have his latest squeeze in our flat when I was at work. Did drugs and became abusive on them (but refused to stop. The high was clearly more important than my safety). Was horrible to my cat. Isolated me from friends and family. Hacked into my online banking and stole £4k (couldn’t get it back as he’d found the log in details on a letter in the flat so it was technically my fault for leaving them hanging around). Gave me grief if I didn’t wear make up. Demanded I cook dinner for him every single night then would refuse to eat it. Pushed me into living with him, demanded we move to a particular area and pressured me into a more expensive place than I thought we could afford. Then the day we moved in told me he wasn’t paying a penny and I had to cover it all. Told me I deserved it as I earned more. Screamed and shouted at me when I got a bonus from work and spent it on a pair of shoes I wanted and not him. Took me away for a weekend, started a row and ran off leaving me in a strange city without the hotel key (actually did this multiple times).

When I first tried to get rid of him (did so by launching his Xbox over the balcony) I moved out of the flat and he tricked the old estate agent into giving him my new address. He repeatedly showed up at my flat off his face, would smash the door in and quite honestly terrify me. This happened pretty much every Saturday night for about 3 months. I finally got rid of him when I sent him a video of me snogging someone on a night out. Said he felt like I’d cheated on him and had disrespected him (and failed to see the irony in that!)

 

[Readread]

My ex, before my husband, was so adamant that I had to look a certain way. I'd have to wear makeup and have my hair done and looking nice every time we went out *in case* we saw someone HE knew. I didn't give a shit if I looked a certain way and I bumped into someone I knew. He'd make me put makeup on to walk round Tesco. Every single place we went.
He once made me put makeup on to leave his house to get to my car as he had someone doing work in his garden and he didn't want them to see me with no makeup. I guess it was emotionally abusive, he ended it and I was devastated as I loved him. Hope he gets the clap now

 

[tskiry56]

My ex is an ex due to years of subtle emotional, mental and physical abuse and control which I blamed myself for at the time.
I now have an indefinite restraining order and he was charged with ABH after he strangled, kicked and head butted me cracking my forehead open in front of our then 3 year old!
In a way I’m glad it took what it did for me to admit the truth as I would never be where I am now! I have a lovely kind and caring boyfriend who is great with my son and makes me happy.

 

[HinchythetwattyGrinchy]

It began with him being jealous of my sex life and the fact I had slept with more men than he had women.

I worked in a pub and he would sit in front of the bar and watch me like a hawk whilst I worked to make sure I wasn’t talking to any males (but obvs I had to because IT WAS MY JOB!!!!) Eventually he made me quit.

Stopped me going out to see my friends, made me delete all my social media accounts and would regularly go through my phone to make sure I wasn’t speaking to anyone.

Made me move miles away from my family even when my grandad was deteriorating with cancer. When my grandad did pass, when I got the phone call in the morning, he told me to stop crying and that I’m not the first person to lose a grandparent.

I got pregnant and had a miscarriage - he never gave me any support at all, just told me to get over it. This was a few weeks after my grandad died.

I lost a lot of weight being with him and developed an eating disorder.

He started getting friendly with a girl he worked with and was always snapchatting her (bearing in mind I was never allowed to communicate with anyone on my phone!) eventually I left him when I told my family how things were and they told me if I didn’t, they’d go to the police. A few months after I left him he started going out with that girl from work and they’re still together. All I can say is that I hope he’s not treating her like a cunt either. Looking back now I think I only stayed with him because he had a HUGE dick, but he never once gave me an orgasm

 

[Jgizzle]

He had a fiancé at home

 

[Waitrose]

Said I was putting on weight and he didn't feel like he could 'show me off like all guys want to do with their girlfriends'. Asked why I didn't dress more smartly or wear more makeup like other women he knew. Showed me pictures of women (famous and just his friends) who he felt looked like they had 'made more effort' than I had for inspiration

His parents hated me and he never challenged it- they wanted someone the same ethnicity as their son which I wasn't and would never accept me or even be civil to me. They rarely let him see me, certainly not spend the night with me, didn't want me in their house or to see or speak to me, when they did speak to me it was to tell me how important their son's education and family was and to suggest that I leave him alone and also ask that I don't encourage him to drink alcohol (coming from a tee total family he needed no encouragement, I was often needing to ask him to slow down). Nice chap!

 

[Bek1]

Here we go!
-Paid money to track my mobile
-Took pictures of my vibrator to see if it then moved position and would then know if I had used it or not
-Bought a GPS tracker to use on my car
-Left a phone under my bed to record audio
-Set up a phone in my bathroom without me knowing to record me getting undressed and showering
- Jumped on me,held me down and poured a beer on my face after an argument becasue I didnt want to have sex with him
-Smashed one phone to pieces
-Threw another phone down the toilet

 

[LittleMy]

- He was an alcoholic, made no effort with anything to do with us, constantly putting others before me and letting me down. He was also lazy.
- He wasn’t ready for grow up and I couldn’t see a future with him because I wanted children and marriage, and he just wanted to piss about with his mates like a fucking teenager again.
- The relationship had a negative effect on my mental health towards the end and caused me to have a breakdown/become suicidal.

ETA: My ex before him was my first ever relationship. I was 16 and he was 20. He pressured me into sex. I remember crying on the bus home afterwards because I hadn’t been ready/didn’t really want to but felt I couldn’t say no. Anyway, I later found out he was a serial cheater and had been using me, along with some other girls. I was so humiliated, I don’t think I was ever right again after that.

 

[If i told you …]

Couldn’t keep it in his pants … bye loser

 

[Melmoo]

'Pretended' to be a nice guy for months who was simply down on his luck. Moved in and stole from me was abusive and a drug addict. Stole from my mothers home when she was dyeing from leukaemia was on swinging sites meeting up with men and women and couples and groups etc. Was on dating apps, drove my car around town when I was away working in my other car and got speeding tickets and parking fines etc and just binned all the letters when I was away mon to fri, we then split up and I lost my licence and had to hire a solicitor and go to court and prove I was in other parts of the country and it wasnt me driving. I would come home at weekend exhausted he would harass me for money and become abusive if I didnt comply. Was arrested numerous times and bailed etc. Took advantage of my good nature and my mum being terminally I'll and the fact I was exhausted and working away. His lies unravelled I binned him and got my confidence back. He moved on to another poor vulnerable woman with 4 kids and on benefits last I heard he dis the same to her and pretty much destroyed her before moving on to another..I must have been fucking nuts for two years!!

 

[bunnyboo]

I'll have to make a list about the piece of shit I dated for 6 years. I was quite young when we started dating (I was 17), so we were both around college age when all this stuff went on.

1. The parasite factor was the worst. He never worked (apart from a 3 week job in Summer at a festival) and never seemed to apply for jobs (he said he did, but I don't believe he was). I'd always have to pay for everything. And he'd lie about financial things too. When he needed €250 to repeat failed college exams, he'd ask me could his parents 'loan' the money and they'd get me back. Me like the fool I am would give him the money, and it turns out he didn't even tell his folks that he failed!
2. He had zero ambition and seemed to fail everything he did. Flunked his state exams and had to repeat them. Started going to college, failed first year. Repeated again after we broke up but I think he dropped out? Honestly, a waste of space.
3. I never caught him cheating on me, but I feel like in hindsight he was. He'd always look at other girls on social media and make weird comments about them. He'd tell me I'd be more pretty if I looked like XYZ. Towards the end of our relationship, (about 5 years in), he said we should get fuck buddies. I agreed because I was an idiot and found out he was asking loads of super pretty girls for sex.
4. He was never there for me. I had a mental breakdown (tried to commit suicide) and when I was getting treatment, he wouldn't come to see me. I had minor surgery on my eye, and when I asked him to come in to hospital with me he said he had some college stuff to do. I later found out this was a lie.
5. His family didn't like me because of my race lol. It honestly never really bothered me or my family that he was Asian, I mean why would it? But his mother did not like the fact that I was white/Irish and felt he should go out with one of his own. They never really liked me. Ironically, I'm the one who had a job, was getting an education etc etc.

The kindest thing he ever did for me, was broke up with me... on my birthday (yeah I know!!)

The story has a good ending though. I was heartbroken, scared of being single depressed for about a year after we broke up but I 'found myself' again. I started enjoying my own company, smoking all the weed I wanted and playing the most violent PS4 games I could get my hands on. I started hanging out with my friend a lot more, and made some great memories that year. I enrolled in university to get my masters degree (that my ex said I'd never be good enough for) and I graduated first in my class I now have a decent job as a developer in a company that I like.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

He’s been reported and I’m not 100% sure, but I don’t think anything has come of it. With my sister I didn’t report him and I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt if he left her alone, but I did let his mum know who wasn’t too shocked and all she said was, “we’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again”!
I know his next ex after me reported him for revenge porn and I believe he was cautioned, not 100% sure of the details on that. And I know both times when he was outed on Facebook by girls that he had been stalking there were discussions that the police had been involved and that evidence was being gathered and I also know he lost his job as a McDonald’s shift manager because of it all.

it’s so sad because he started going out with a 17 year old two years ago and he has had a baby with her this year too. I don’t think they are still together, but I know she still spends time with him and his family.

I just hope he gets stopped before something much worse happens. He also used to touch me in my sleep and tried to perform sexual acts on me too (I have never told another person about this), he’s got serious issues.

He sounds dangerous.

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

He said she ain't going any where , if I don't like it then I can go. I'm splitting up family etc. 80% of the time were ok. But as soon as sex is involved and it doesn't go his way he will turn. Not physically , but silent treat ment . Constant digs etc . Every 3days is sex days,I don't have a sex drive due to my health .iv had c section few years ago too which cause sex to be uncomfortable , plus he's got the biggest iv ever seen it's like a routine now .no kissing or affection. Will jus go up stairs get job done , then he's bk to normal.even the day after sex he will say" oh got house to ourselves ,y not do it now ,u have hospital now (I feel like crap after treatment ) so triess it days before it's my day .. feel like a robot. I'm so embarrassed . I pay for everythin so don't rely on him for everythin . I pay his debts,top up his phone . Etc were struggling at Mon and I tried to say he needs a job asap . He's like find me one ,or can't do that or not enough money in delivering. Ok jus can't see a way out
I'd rather a black eye than all this .sorry to go on xx

I think his behaviour falls under coercive control, which is a form of abuse.
I know it's hard but please think seriously about a way you can seek help. Hospitals ran an initiative recently urging people suffering abuse to put a black dot on their palm to show staff to alert them. I'm not sure if that's ongoing though.

Life does not need to be like this for you. Please believe things can get better. You deserve happiness and peace.

 

[MrsJones83]

Probably sounds a bit ridiculous, but I’d been gifted a very expensive bottle of champagne from my boss, and I was saving it for a special occasion.
I came home from a weekend at work, to find my (now ex) boyfriend ridiculously drunk, having downed many beers and my champagne, on his own, because his football team had a won a match. He couldn’t see what the issue was or understand why I was so angry.
1. It wasn’t his to take.
2. I hate football.
3. There’s absolutely no need to drink that much on your own in the middle of the day.

It just made me think what a selfish prick he was, and I couldn’t bare to even look at him. It’s making me angry again now