If there are definitely no concerns of neglect and/or abuse, and the child’s needs are being met, what exactly is your issue? You say the child self harms. It is an issue, but it’s also common with many disabilities/developmental disorders. My son is diagnosed autistic and self harm is one of his behaviours (albeit a horrible one). I can’t always stop him, this is his way of responding to stress/anxiety/frustration. All I can do is try to spot the triggers beforehand and it’s not always easy when you don’t know exactly what it is that has triggered the behaviour to begin with. He cannot always tell us but we are learning all the time. Raising a child with additional support needs is tough on its own, but do you know what would make it tougher?
Having family members going behind our backs and reporting concerns that we are not coping (some days it can really feel like that) to children’s services, instead of coming to us and saying, “Look, I don’t mean to be way off but it seems like you guys aren’t coping very well at the minute. Is there anything I can do to help?” If anyone in my family went behind my back and did that, not only would it make my life harder, they would no longer be family. I’m sorry, details or not, I think you’re wrong and if I were the parent of that child, I’d never forgive or trust you again.