What's the most creepiest or scariest thing that's ever happened to you?

[nobrains]

I was 16 and definitely looked 16 if not younger,I was browsing in wilko when a man 40+ approached me, put his hand behind my ear and pulled out £10 said I was magic and that we should go on a magical date (I obviously said no I'm 16,he didnt care)I worked in the town centre in a Claire's accessories, he showed up at my work and asked for me when I wasn't there. Then once I was at work and he was knocking at the windows waving. Didnt see him until about a year later with my now husband and my husband had to tell him to leave me alone in the middle of poundstretcher.

 

[CrazyCatLady101]

After reading this thread I actually don't know where to begin. Sadly, there are a few times that things have happened to me, I know now looking back that they were not right and if I question myself, actually, I knew they were not right back then when it happened, in school, we had a Science teacher who had MS and was in a wheelchair, very often in class he would just fall asleep. Those in the class who wanted to learn carried on studying and those who had no interest just took that as an opportunity to act out. Sadly I was sat next to those boys who were acting out and no matter how many times I told them to leave me out of it they never did, One day they were really really loud, shouting, swearing and just being idoits and one of them (Who I kinda knew outside school, but not very well) took an opportunity to lung at me and before I knew what was happening his hands were down my trousers and underwear. the desks we had in Science were really tall off the ground and due to all the havoc that was being caused nobody really seen what he was doing. I was trying frantically to stop him but I was also in shock. another teacher came into the room and that's when he backed off but sadly none of that ends there.

I would sad over the course of the next year and leading into the summer I had made new friends from school and would meet up with them to hand out - we had 2 primary schools where we stayed so there were girls I befriended from the other school and these boys all came from the other primary school too and they lived near her, anyway, we all decided that we were going to camp out one night and not tell our parents - not that mine would have really cared or noticed I wasn't there anyway but as the night drew in a lot of the girls decided to head home as it was cold and they were tired ect ect but by this point it was around 3am and I didn't fancy going home to a drunken mum and her partner arguing and fighting so I decided to stay out and head home as soon as it was light. Staying out was the lesser of 2 evils, or so I thought but I was very wrong. I never ever speak of this and I have never told ANYONE but that night I was raped by not one but two of them.

I felt so dirty, ashamed, hated myself and just confused and that it was my fault (please do not reply to me and say it wasn't, I know people mean well but this has been buried for 20 years and after I finish this I wont go there in my head again)

When school started up the boys were in a lot of my classes, they had other friends and all of them would call me names relentlessly, they would write things about me in local bus stops and make my life hell. Some teachers did catch on and tried to help but I just denied it ever happened until one day, they had wrote all over the bus stop about me at the back of my house and "the mother" seen it, next thing I knew I was pulled out of class and questioned, again I said it wasn't true - they were saying I was a slag, I sleep about with everyone ect - when I got home "the mother" belted my up and down the house for the longest time and I was made to show her I was on my period so she knew I wasn't pregnant. There was no TLC from "the mother" ever and she didn't even want to hear anything from me, as far as she was concerned it was all true.

By this time, it was almost the next years summer holidays. I had became really withdrawn from everyone and everything and never wanted to go out, see friends, do anything, my best friend was an N64 in my room my dad had bought me! So, "the mother" decided she needed a break from me and I was going to stay with my dads friends for a few weeks.

She had never set eyes on them as her and mum dad were split up but they were an older couple from where my dad has a caravan, lets call them Pat & Derek, Pat drinks like a fish, I loved going there for bad reasons...Pat allowed me to drink and smoke and if she ever ran out she would jump in the car with me and go get more.....off her face, Derek was a fair bit older than Pat and always seamed really nice at the caravan, they had a daughter a couple of years older than me but she was already living on her own with a baby. Once night after Pat went off to bed drunk, Derek came over to where I was sitting on their sofa and put him hand on my knee and started to move it up, again I froze for a few seconds but quickly said I wasn't feeling well and needed to go to bed too. I can remember shaking like a leaf all the way to the room. Pat & Derek also didn't share a bedroom btw and the room that he slept was next to mine. I remember sitting on the bed clutching my mobile(they had just came out) and wondering who I could call....given that I wasn't close with any of my friends anymore and the way "the mother" was with me I quickly realised I had nobody to call. plus, I was around 3 hours drive away from anyone that I knew. After that night Derek always tried to get me on my own but I stuck to Pats side at all time until it was time to go home and never ever went back!!

Fast forward to when I was 16, I had moved out of the house at 15 as "the mother" didn't want me there, wasn't getting any money for me and wasn't happy I chose to go to college instead of getting a full time job to pay my way and my part time job only covered my travel expenses to and from college. I was dating at 18 year old guy who I ended up living with (and his parents) I then moved away to live with my aunt, I got a job in an office as a jr and one day my mobile rang, A number I didn't know and it was Derek!!!asking me what I was wearing, if it was sexy, would I come meet him sometime. I quickly ended the call and never answered it again after.

I think since then I have always struggled with sex, it makes me feel like I am dirty and causes issues in my relationship and my partner has no idea about any of this, I just keep it all locked away. Sorry this was a long one but that to me was the most terrifying part of my life and I thought it was never going to end

 

[HinchythetwattyGrinchy]

Ok, so after a long time debating whether I should post, I decided fuck it. I’ve got many stories to tell but these off the top of my head are probably the most traumatic.



So, when I was about 12, me and my younger sister would play with some other kids on the street. Anyway, there was this girl (I’ll call her Amy) who lived in one of the flats on the next street and we’d play with her ALL the time. She had a trampoline and a blow up pool her mum would occasionally put up during the summer. So, we would go into her garden and be playing happily, you know, as kids do... without a care in the world. There was a old man who lived in the flats and I had often seen him walking down the street and had got weird vibes off him. Soooo, his kitchen window was facing Amy’s garden and would be staring constantly, he was ALWAYS there and one day I heard a clicking and saw a flashing light and I fucking knew it was a camera. My dad collected cameras old & new so being experienced in the photography department at that age I just knew what it was. I instantly grabbed my sister (who is classed as vulnerable due to autism) and ran home in shock. I told my parents and they contacted the police - I don’t know if anything ever happened but I never, ever saw that old man ever again.



This one is more difficult for me to tell. After my first serious boyfriend I had promised myself a break from boys - I just wanted time to myself. Anyway, just over a year after me, my dad, mum and sister went on holiday to an island in Greece. I had just turned 18. In the hotel there was a barman who I had fallen in love with completely. He was so beautiful. I was always completely shy and kept myself to myself but one night I decided to stay at the bar and read a book when my family went back to the apartment. Anyway, he got chatting to me and at first I thought nothing of it.... he was beautiful as I said, so I was flattered that he was giving me attention and he had supplied me with alcohol (free of charge from the hotel bar, I never paid a fucking thing!) and the second night it happened he told me to wait for him after his shift... so I did, being completely naive. Whilst waiting I felt nervous but felt that was just because I was ‘frigid’ and needed to loosen up a little. Long story cut short, he met me after the shift, got me in his car, took me to a cliff side and we had sex.... I can’t remember how I felt after but I just felt ‘wanted’ and ‘loved’. I know it’s crazy and this is something I pushed to the back of my mind for years. Anyway, he did drive me back to the hotel after and I didn’t think anything of it. The next day, we chatted at the bar and this man came up to him. They was talking Greek to each other and then the man turned to me and said he’s a friend of the bar mans and that he’ll take me to a bar and that he (the bar man) will meet me there afterward. At first, I was hesitant but then I thought fuck it, I’m an adult, right? So I got on his motorbike and he drove.... into the middle of nowhere and I just remember being quite tipsy all of a sudden and in an abandoned building and he was on top of me inside of me. I was begging him to take me home. All I could think about was my grandad who had messaged me that day telling me to watch my back for any perverts... I fucking felt dirty for months after. As soon as I got back to the hotel I just wanted to get on the first flight back home. The bar man followed me on Instagram for a while but I’ve blocked him now after he had messaged me about 10 months later asking when I was coming back to see him. I just completely swept this under the carpet and I know it’s not right, I always blamed it on myself for being drunk. I hate that I never said anything there and then.



I could go on but honestly I don’t think I can. After the Greek holiday I think it made me go through a promiscuous stage as I thought “this is what’s normal”. I hate that the holiday ever happened and then a few months before the holiday I found out my mum was cheating on my dad and she made me keep it a secret, so I can’t help but think her actions made me think these things were normal??? Honestly. It’s fucked up. I’m so thankful for therapy though. I’d recommend it to anyone, whatever your situation.

I am super nervous posting this - I’ve never told a soul apart from my therapist.

 

[HinchythetwattyGrinchy]

I agree that many men and boys are abused and have bad experiences with the opposite sex, but on the same level as women and girls do on a daily basis? No way.

100%. I’ve asked many male friends of mine if they’ve ever been afraid to walk home during the night after a few drinks, if they’ve ever been followed by a car, if they’ve ever been worried about their drinks being spiked, if they’ve ever been too worried about their clothing meaning they’re “asking for it”... nope. Nothing - they’ve never had a care in the world. All girls / women I know have always walked with their keys between their fingers (including myself) whilst walking in the dark ready to stab a cunt in the eyes if they ever tried to attack them. It truly is horrific being a woman.

 

[Followtheyellowbrickroad]

I said on a previously thread, something happened to me when I was 7.... i was sexually assaulted and made to touch him while his girlfriend watched !!!! This was my neighbour who I trusted !!!!! Still have flashbacks !!!!

 

[Fanaff]

I lived in a flat next door to a nightclub. It was a buzzer system to get in the front door but was turned off at night to stop people pressing every button when they left the club. I lived with my boyfriend and 2 siblings but his youngest sister was always staying over so the door to our flat was left on the latch for her. One night we were all meant to go out but I was poorly so I stayed in. I woke up at 1am with the light on in my room and a bloke sat on the floor next to me. I had a fever so wasn’t sure if I was delirious but when he saw I was awake, he kept asking where my brother in law was. I asked how he got in and he said the girl let him in. I assumed it was the youngest sister and was a bit pissed off. Anyway, I realised I needed to not be alone with this guy so made him go to get a drink whilst I pretended to go to the loo and ran to ask her why she had let him in. She said “what guy” and we both freaked out. We tried to leave the flat but he started going mental at us so we locked ourselves in the bathroom and called My boyfriend and his brother who were in the club and legged it up to us. He ran off before anyone turned up. Turns out my BIL was dodgy as fuck and this guy had been sent to take him to a party, where there were a load of people waiting to beat him up.
It still freaks me out and it was 15 years ago! I just think about all the what ifs.
needless to say, we double locked the front door from then on and my boyfriend and I moved out shortly after as I hated living there!

 

[Doc]

Really bothers me how just about every woman has a frightening/abusive story to tell.

 

[To cat lady]

My Grandad was dying in hospital and my brother and I were sitting outside his hospital room (we were young children) My brother jumped up and started shouting bye bye bye bye down the corridor, my Mum came out in tears and said who are you waving at? He said Grandad is walking down the corridor waving goodbye. Unbeknownst to us he had just died.

 

[Rainbow123]

When I was about 13 I was a bit of a little shit and hung about with a girl who was from a rough home. Her mum used to give us fags (a total novelty to me!) and her uncle was a drug dealer (we didn’t do drugs btw!).

I dont know how it came about but we used to speak with this much older man on her house phone. He was a body builder and probs in his 40s - he knew her drug dealer uncle somehow! One night it was arranged that he would pick us up from a church which was in a quiet part of our village. He told us we weren’t allowed to tell anyone. Talk about fucking stupid, but we went to meet him. We drove around local country lanes and he let us smoke in his car. Then he took us to his house... and we met his mum!! What the hell!!
He dropped us off home - gave us some photos of him bodybuilding and we arranged secretly to meet another night.
My friend told her uncle where we had been and he gave us the biggest bollocking and told us to never ever see or speak to him again. End of.
On the night we had next arranged to meet up, we didn’t go to the church. He knew where my friend lived and he stalked her house that evening in his car. We could see him out the window. After he had gone he started ringing the house phone. He left a message on the answerphone - he was angry that we’d stood him up and his mum had bought us gifts. He rang and rang for days - then we never heard anything again!
It was only when I got older that I realised how wrong this was on so many levels. But the weirdest part, for me, was he took us home to his mum! I dread to think what would have happened if we continued meeting.

 

[Blue pumpkin]

When I was thirteen I was walking home from school and as I walked by some bushes I heard 'psst' so I looked over to where it was coming from and saw a postman in full royal mail uniform hiding in the bushes with his c**k in his hand.
His c**k had a red ribbon tied around it with a little bow. Smiling at me he said " untie the bow and watch it grow"

I just ran as fast as I could until I got to the main road. I didn't tell anyone because as usual you think you won't be believed or that it's going to end up being my fault.

A few months later on a saturday morning me and my mum were heading out to the shops. She opened the front door and man's voice said "that was good timing" It was the very same postman handing her the post.
There was no recognition on his part when he saw me, probably because I was in regular clothes and my hair wasn't tied back.

A few months later I saw him again, in his uniform, walking down the street with a blonde woman pushing a little girl in a buggy.
Made me feel sick that he was a father of a little girl.

We moved house a few months later. It was only eight miles away but never saw him again, thank Christ.

 

[ChloChlo]

Also another one involving my poor little dog - a tiny Bishon. Runt of the litter and half the size of what they grow to. Anyway I went for a walk with my dogs and my kids and their mates through the local nature spot. My dogs jumped into the river, my shar pei puppy I dragged out straight away as she was near the bank drowning with the weight of her wrinkles. My Bishon was being sucked away with the current so I had to swim out and get her and she kept going further and I kept losing sight of her as she was so small, I managed to get her and nearly risked my own life doing so. Anyway forward literally 5 minutes later a large mastiff type dog off its lead charged over, tore her to pieces and disembowled her. Her insides were hanging out I had to take my top off and wrap it round her, it broke my heart, she was still alive and had to be put to sleep. The day itself had a very eerie feel to it and it was almost like final destination for my poor dog. It was also VERY out of character for my dogs to just jump into water they never did that, it felt like they knew what was coming

 

[Sunflower90]

Sunflower that was rape. Please report it if you can, as he’s a predator and has almost certainly done it to others as well,

I wouldn’t even know the date, where he lives, he could be anywhere in the world now. Like I said it was almost 10 years ago. I don’t even know his full name! Please don’t make me feel bad

 

[Ekkwhine]

Walking home from an evening shift, I do this a lot, about 10.30pm. It’s a 20 minute walk along a busy road, down a residential road that isn’t too quiet but obviously not a hive of activity at that kind of night, through an underpass under an A road, then out into a very quiet lane. So, I’ve walked out of work, we all walk along until I get to the residential street and turn off, leaving them. About 30 feet ahead there’s a car, parked with the engine running on the side of the road. I assume it’s a takeaway driver and continue walking. As soon as I get almost to it it crawled off about 10 feet and stopped again. It did this once more and I started feeling a little uneasy but told myself he was just looking at house numbers. About halfway along this street is a medical centre, then nothing all the way to the underpass. So once we got past the houses I really started panicking. There is a track alongside the MC that leads to the woods, I was so torn as I didn’t know whether to turn around and run back, but by doing so if he had any ‘intent’ he would know he’d been rumbled and do something or continue walking. I decided to continue walking, all the while this car is literally crawling a few feet at a time ahead of me, frantically trying to call my husband who was at home with the kids. While I was on the phone trying to explain what was happening the car drove off. I said “oh, it’s gone. I’m being stupid, ignore me, get the kettle on I’ll see you in a minute” or words to that effect (feeling a bit stupid) and hung up. So a few minutes later I went through the underpass and came out the other side and sat with the engine running and headlights on full beam pointing at the tunnel was this car. I flipped my shit and rang my husband back who came running and the car shot off. I have never been so frightened in my entire life.

I did report it to the police when I got home but I wish I’d phoned 999 as it happened. I honestly thought I was being silly and there was a logical explanation when it initially happened but the fact it was sat there when I came out the underpass means he had to go over the A17, up it, turn off onto my road and then drive up it and turn around to be facing the underpass and not a dead end/farm tracks.

 

[Holidaybobs]

I have had a few experiences that have made me extra cautious. But, one that always sticks in my mind is when I was 11 and meeting my mum. My mum worked on the outskirts of the city centre and one day I had a hospital appointment that was halfway between her office and our house. She told me to get the bus and she would meet me at the bus stop at the end of the road which leads onto the hospital. I had never been on the bus alone before and was a bit nervous but, luckily an elderly neighbour was getting the same bus so I sat with her. At the time my dad worked nights and my mum would not have been able to get home in time to collect me and then meet the appointment time. She assured me that she would be on time and as soon as I got off the bus she would be there waiting for me. I had a phone but, this was nearly 15 years ago and phone were much slower back then. The whole bus journey was fine and I got off and waited at the bus stop. My mum was running late as someone had collared her as she was leaving the office and I tried ringing her but had no answer. So I was waiting there for over 10 minutes when this car pulled up. Naively I thought he was asking for directions as the road would lead to the city centre. He signalled his hand for me to come over so I leaned over his window and said, can I help you? I was a really polite and innocent kid and knew the area well so thought I’d help out. Then he shouts, get in the fucking car. Shocked I said, pardon. He then shouts even louder, I’m telling you to get in the fucking car now. In that moment I just felt my heart drop. Luckily, we had recently done danger stranger with school where they take you to this place which teaches you how to react and what to do if you were in trouble. And I vividly remembered to kind of take a snapshot in my head of everything I could. So I looked at the man and said you’ve got the wrong person whilst taking in everything I could. I noted he had a black golf, gold chain, dark hair, medium build, mid 20s to early 30s and he had this distinctive Manchester City ring on. He then looked at me and said don’t waste my fucking time you little bitch and went to get out of his car. I then ran for my life towards the nearest houses across the busy main road. As the other direction was a huge clough, which I knew would not end well. I kept running and turned round to see he had done a u-turn in the road and was following me. Not knowing what to do I ran into someone’s front garden and hid behind a bin whilst crying and trying to ring my mums office. Fortunately, an elderly lady saw me and took me in her house and made me a cup of tea. Luckily she knew my great aunt from church and managed to get in touch with them who managed to phone my mum. My phone had died by this point. I was really shaken up and quite inconsolable until my mum arrived and hugged me. Two weeks later I was at my grandmas and it came on the news that a man fitting the exact same description had been arrested after he had kidnapped a 10 year old boy, raped him and left him in a storage unit. When they caught him they found he had raped 5 other children, boys and girls, within the same area. I know I had a lucky escape but, I always feel so guilty for those other children.

Another time, I was on the bus on my way home from Christmas shopping when I was 17. I sat on the back row on the left hand side as I had quite a lot of shopping bags. Then this odd man got on the bus and made a dart to sit next to me. There was plenty of other seats as the driver had just come on shift. Immediately the man started talking to me and I politely interacted whilst trying to not initiate any further conversation. He then started looking in my bags and asked was any presents for him. I did a fake laugh and thought what a weirdo. He then started asking me more intrusive questions. Asking which town I lived in, how old I was and did I have a boyfriend. I decided to get my phone out to put him off talking to me and he said, oh I hope you aren’t texting about me. As I looked up to say no, he had this sinister look in his eye that gave me the shivers. I then put my earphones in and thought, oh this will work. He then pulled it out of my ear and said, that’s not very polite at Christmas. I just stared back at him not knowing what to say or do and not being able to move due to the seat location. He then said, Christmas has come early for me sitting next to you. He then asked my what stop I was getting off at and did anyone meet me when I got off. Seeing a massive red flag I told him the wrong stop and said I got off at the town bus station. When we reached that stop he went ladies first and gestured for me to get off. If I had done this I would have had to climb over him due to the seats position and all my bags. I jokingly said oh you first. He then got off and I pretended to collect my bags as he looked back. Luckily the bus was busy now and more people were getting off. I got up and ran up the stairs to the top of the bus so he couldn’t see me and thought I’d just got off. I looked out the window and could see him waiting for me. When he realised I wasn’t there he started shouting fucking bitch became very aggressive and tried to get back on the bus. I kept praying that the bus would just take off and go. Luckily it did and I looked out the window to see him running into the direction of the next stop. I shit myself and texted my mum telling her to pick me up at the bus stop. It was only a 7 minute walk from my house but you pass a big open field. Thankfully he didn’t make it to the stop in time but I could see him in the distance. My actual stop was only two after that so I was praying that my mum would be there in time and he wouldn’t keep going. He didn’t and when I got there my mum thought I’d just done so much shopping I didn’t want to walk. When I told her she said, that’s it you are having driving lessons. Thankfully I can drive now and it was the best thing I ever did. For years now I have walked with keys in between my fingers, I highly recommend it for anyone who is scared walking alone.

 

[FenellaTheWitch]

What makes men feel entitled to do these things? It makes me so angry. They don’t even think about the effect that it has on the woman on the receiving end.

It is very sad that this thread, 32 pages in, is mainly experiences of lone women going about their business being made to feel uncomfortable by men.

 

[comment on life]

I dont know that the following belongs here but here goes-

I was in a relationship for 7 years that ended in December 2019. It is only in the year + afterward that I have started thinking about how toxic it really was and I didnt see it at the time. I had fairly shocking (non existence) self confidence when I got in to the relationship and that continued throughout so i guess i was just happy to have a boyfriend.

In the past few weeks as more and more women are coming out and telling their stories about bad experiences with men I kept thinking - I have been in shit relationships but at least I havent experienced anything like that. But the truth is that I have.

I can remember many occasions when I would have had too much to drink and went away to bed alone that I would wake up and my boyfriends fingers would be in me. I'm sorry that this is so graphic. I can remember another occasion when he was on me. But I was so drunk I would just go back to sleep. Generally it was only the pain of it that would wake me up in the first place.

The next morning he would just carry on like nothing had happened. He never referenced it. Some part of me seemed to rationalise it as - we were in a relationship so it was ok. I was drunk so it was fine etc etc

The first time I ever voiced this to anyone was yesterday to a therapist and I'm still not really sure how to make sense of it. I broke up with him for a different reason but thinking back I cant believe this behaviour wasnt a contributing factor. I cant help but feel like an absolute idiot.

Sending love to everyone on this thread. Some of these stories are heartbreaking

 

[ClaraPlum]

I had a weird experience a couple of nights ago, but it wasn’t scary. My grandad has recently died last month and I was feeling really depressed about the whole thing as you can imagine.

He always used to tell me “don’t cry for me when I die, flower, I’ve had a good life and I’ll be reunited with your grandma”. Obviously you try to remember this but it proves difficult because we love them so much

Anyway, a couple of nights ago I have a dream about my grandad. I’m in his house and it feels so real (even down to the smell) and my grandad is reminding me not to cry for him and that he’s happy with my grandma.

It could have been my mind/subconscious trying to make me feel better. In fact I would have thought this if it were not for the feeling that accompanied it. It’s almost indescribable. The best I can compare it to is being hugged by a duvet. I felt such an overwhelming feeling of love, warmth and peace. I’ve never felt like this before, certainly not in a dream, let alone real life. This feeling is the only thing that makes me feel like perhaps my grandad did somehow make contact with me. He was such a kind, loving and warm hearted man. His last thoughts were about how WE would feel and cope without him (God bless him!)

The lovely thing about this experience is that anytime I now think about my grandad, this warm, peaceful feeling washes over me. I feel so at peace and loved. It may be my brain trying to cheer me up but I like to think it’s grandad trying to offer some comfort

 

[unidentified]

The abusing their position is awful isn’t it. My previous mortgage broker found me on Snapchat and kept sending me dick pics. This man knew everything about me, where I lived, worked, my date of birth, my salary. It was a very vulnerable place to be. I called him out on it and that I was going to report his behaviour. He really apologised and said it was because he wanted to ask me on a date it found that too scary. Baffles me how sending a dick pic is less daunting than asking someone on a date.

 

[Weston14]

Haven’t posted on here in ages but been having a good read of this and thought id share something..not my story actually it’s my mums

My mum grew up in a little town on the south coast and went to school with these twins, two girls, she said growing up they were weird and very quiet, moody children. quite insular. Well call them Judy and Jane.

Mum grew up, got married, moved away.. anyway she comes back to her old town one year and runs into Judy. Even though they were never particularly friendly my mum stopped and chatted to her briefly (it was a small town so even people who weren’t friends knew each other’s business, enough to hold a conversation, if that makes sense). She said the conversation was slightly stilted but they chatted for a minute and then went on their separate ways. One thing my mum asked was how Jane was, “oh she’s fine,” was the response, “still lives with me”. Didnt elaborate much

A few months later my mum heard on the grapevine that Judy had been arrested for obstruction of a burial, turns out jane had died in her sleep about 18 months prior and Judy had kept her body in her bedroom and hadn’t reported it!! Someone else had flagged Jane as missing eventually and the police went round and found the body. Whenever anyone asked Judy about Jane (my mum included) she’d always say she was fine when in reality she’d been keeping her mummified body upstairs!!!!

i actually think more than anything it’s really sad no one missed this poor woman for 18 months!!

 

[Boogs]

A palliative care nurse once told me that people can be very private about dying and want to do it alone, possibly not to distress their loved ones. She said they hold on while others are around them but once their loved one pops out to get something, go to the loo etc. they quietly slip away.

I was told similar by a nurse a long time ago. My friend was in hospital very ill. The doctor called us out to advise us there was nothing they could do and he was end of life. When we went back into his room his breathing was funny and a nurse told us this was it. Then his breathing became normal again and we were still sat with him 12 hours later in the early hours of the morning. A nurse came in and said she had been doing the job for a long time and whilst some people would hang on waiting for their loved ones to arrive some would hang on waiting for them to leave as they didn’t want to go with them there and upset them. He was very selfless and never wanted to bother anyone so his sister and I decided to leave to give him the chance to die alone if that was what he wanted. It started raining and he used to like to sit outside in the rain in the night so I told him this was his chance to go. I also told him that if he was still there by 8am I was coming back and he would be stuck with me. A hour or after I left his sister called to say he was gone. I felt glad that the nurse had told us that and we gave him the space that he wanted so he went on his own terms.