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foreverfeds

Well-known member
Oooh new thread suggestion time! Personally I’m hoping for some good Adele puns….

Hello from the other siiiiide…. I have a husband that I hiiiiiiiiide.
 
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Borntorun

VIP Member
Hahahaha I feel like domestic technician should make the next thread title. I’m sure we could make it rhyme

Donestic technician, bad hair condition, husband omission, cheese magician….
 
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foreverfeds

Well-known member
Haha my 3yo had a yoghurt this morning for breakfast, which was given as a bribe so she’d let me brush her birds nest of a hair…
We use Ella's banana biscuits here as a bribe to brush my daughters crazy curls 😂
Well in our house we brush each other’s hair whilst drinking mocktails and watching Gilmore Girls whilst talking about how we are best friends and will be forever and ever. The only thing that spoils it is the occasional screams from the basement where we’ve chained up The Other. Can’t have him interrupting our girly fun.

Oh no wait. That’s somebody else.
I just stick her in front of YouTube and slightly hold her down.
 
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So the cheesy sweet corn eggy bread (🤢) is apparently perfect for when you don’t want to “spend ages in the kitchen”

Do you know what else is perfect for when you don’t want to spend ages in the kitchen?

A sandwich.

A mother fucking bog standard sandwich.

Two rounds of bread, filling of your choice. Done ✅

Dickhead.
 
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foreverfeds

Well-known member
SHE RAN OUT OF CHEESE?!?! Poor woman must be having palpitations at the thought.
Surprised she doesn’t have a couple of slices of Gouda tucked away in an old notebook for emergencies such as these.
 
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Yellow_brick_road

Chatty Member
Hopefully have some this right it's my first thread 😬.
Well done Borntorun on a fantastic winning title, I've had to condense it a bit to make it fit, be sure to post a smug boomerang to celebrate 🙂.
To recap: Bex and mynini took a trip to Yorkshire, Bex checked herself in as Ms Wilson and wouldn't you know it the hotel thought it was her birthday again, what are the odds?
Afterwards she treated us all to her trips away with the kids top tips, book yourself into a hotel with extra crispy bacon, choose wherever you want to go, drag your child along with one pair of broken sandals and a tub of cucumber and you're sorted. You don't need a tablet, your child should gaze lovingly out of the window just pausing to let you know what a wonderful mother you are and how much fun they are having. You don't need appropriate clothing either, dress them in their finest party dresses and rejoice as they frolick through some poor farmers crops, don't bother going self catering either, that's for the riff raff no lady Bex and mynini like to eat out everywhere, oh and don't bother taking anything to amuse your child, just ask the restaurant to amuse them, it's the least they can do! (Bex arrives at the restaurants like Richard Gere in Pretty Women, "get my child some crayons, I'm going to be spending an obsene amount of money in here") 😂
Bex had a busy month, she's bringing out a new pastry bible don't you know, she can't wait for us to try all her new and exciting recipes, I mean this is the lady who bought us strawberry and peanut butter sandwiches so we await with baited breath 🙄 of course it meant two trips down to London without mynini, how she coped as a working mother we don't know but as she missed her so much Nini was treated to sleepovers galore while we can only assume Nina's dad was banished to the toddler bed. Bex has been sooooo busy lately and missed so much of myninis childhood she's taken her out of pre school so she can have some company, sorry I mean make the most of the time they have left. This obviously means trips to the nail bar and going to the cinema to see Downton Abbey, what more could a 4 year old want?
In other news Bex was invited on TV and treated us all to the dryest looking pizza you've ever seen, mynini isn't served such things as frozen pizza, she likes nothing more than a big bowl of muscles does our Nina, except she doesn't does she Bex? In fact Bex was feeling so super smug she shared some top tips about fussy eating she googled, I mean learned from raising her one compliant eager to please child, when questioned about her actual qualifications or experience she quickly deleted and blocked (sending the commenter straight over to us, welcome to the dark side 😂).
Apart from that long distance Clara has wracked up about 70,000 miles on the car (cost of living crisis really hitting you hard eh Bex), as ever eaten copious amounts of cheese, pastry, pork and schnacks (cringe) and dragged Nina around approximately 72 National trust sites. We would ask what's next for Bex but we really don't need to, I think we all know the drill by now 🙄
 
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Borntorun

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I would be livid if I paid out for a spa day and someone else had taken their 4yo. The entire reason I’d be at a spa is to relax from my normal childcare duties 😂
 
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foreverfeds

Well-known member
Maybe it’s the psychologist in me but I don’t particularly find Nina annoying because at her age she has no way of knowing that her behaviour is inappropriate.
She will do something fairly innocent like sing too loud in a shop and her mother, instead of saying ‘please be more considerate’ whips her phone out and says ‘do it again Nina’ and then films and laughs. She is meant to be Nina’s principal guide, teaching her what is right and wrong, but isn’t. So it’s no wonder that Nina then does more of it, because she’s being encouraged, praised and given attention for it. Bex is really setting her up to fail and she will be so confused when she’s told off at school for the same behaviours that are praised at home.

It’s a conversation I’m having with my four year old a lot at the moment - that certain behaviours are not unkind but they are inconsiderate. For example, shouting in the garden isn’t unkind per se, but it’s not nice for our neighbours and therefore isn’t ok. It’s something he’s starting to understand but obviously wouldn’t have thought about without us teaching him.
 
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Synergy

New member
New thread title - “But rumour has it my best friend is only four” 🤣

absolute weirdo taking her to Adele at that age. I’d have been fuming if I paid for tickets and was stuck next to a child.
 
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foreverfeds

Well-known member
Nina is going to grow up 1 of 2 ways:
She’s either going to have absolutely no confidence or independence whatsoever, due to her being an emotional crutch for her mother, and having to always persevere for acknowledgment of her love by doing things only her mother approves of…
Or she’s going to be a total snob & look down on everyone and everything bcoz nini is accustomed to only the finer things in life.
I’m hoping for option 3 which is a major rebellious stage. Vegan eco warrior who throws red paint at cheese factories and only cycles locally, never owns a car. Makes all her own furniture from stuff she finds so never goes to ikea and finds flowery dresses too constrictive for skip diving.
 
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Mwah-mwah

Active member
Spa days, hotel stays and mocktails with a four year old??
Tell me you have no friends, without telling me you’ve no friends.
 
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foreverfeds

Well-known member
Im horrified the video has made it onto her grid, it’s even more creepy a second time viewing and I’ve just noticed her hand stroking Ninas cheek, as if to be like - ‘yes my precious sing for mummy so I love you’.

Howling she is referring to the other as ‘wait for something’ - she can’t bring herself to say ‘waiting for my husband to get the take away’. She is all kinds of fucked up.
It reminds me of something…… can’t quite put my finger on it…. Oh wait.

1653685636941.jpeg
 
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What Mummy Fakes, 8pm C4.

‘It was the cookbook that took the weaning world by storm, inexplicably becoming a Sunday Times bestseller overnight, full of glossy pictures (mainly of jus-roll pastries) and various recipes to teach your little one to eat the same food the grown ups enjoy too. But behind the scenes, a very different story was brewing. Becky is in fact an obese faker with no skill for coming up with original content, barely any interest in cooking, and a weird penchant to roll meat in various sugary breakfast cereals. A typical ‘nutritional’ lunch is a Costa toastie. Her ‘weaning baby’ is a strapping school-aged child, constantly having to perform for her mother in manner of a circus monkey’

Now that’s the show C4 should be making.
 
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squatternutbosh

VIP Member
Nina’s food diary: written by Lady Beckington of Cheeseleton

breakfast:

Nina adores the freshest smoked salmon from the coast of North Uist only- on a bagel with fromage m à tartiner (cream cheese to you uncultured peasants)

brunch:

My nini Absolutely loves boiled eggs, strawberries with whipped cream in sandwiches. Followed by a snack of the crispiest bacon & some pastries! Have to keep the balance! No raisins though! Maybe some cheese

lunch:

my Ninis total fav is a gourmet artery bursting burger with extra cheese and some chips, no Mayo though! I keep a careful eye on the sodium intake. As it’s always meal out this is usually supplemented by a plate of guilt veg for balance & for the gram.

dinner:

my nini has such bourgeois taste, mussels & caviar & lobster of the finest produce, escargot, maybe Some cucumber for balance. Or maybe a chunk of pork belly if im cooking at home.

don’t forget to buy my book, I’m so relatable and an expert in everything. You peasants want to be me, and live my life, you envy my perfectly perfect blissful fairytale , with my perfect crispy hair & obedient child. U want to be me! U can! Buy my book #singlemumlife
 
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squatternutbosh

VIP Member
6CC35C69-346C-48BE-946B-24A7B47625C7.png

More on what never happened:
Nini: Mother dear, I am so longing to retreat to a luxury spa, I’ve been wanting to get a Swedish massage & an Dead Sea mud mask exfoliating cleanse for ever so long! Please would’st thou take me!
 
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Lilykins

VIP Member
I refuse to believe that I am the only one that finds that Nina singing video creepy as fuck 😂
Me too!! Wtf have I just watched!!!! And then her emotional ‘oh nini’ after 🤢 I just can’t !!! We get it bex, you love your kid - give it a rest already! Ninas eyes and tone gave me the feel of a kidnapped victim singing for her freedom/ransom.
Where was the other told to sit while she filmed that??
 
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Roz99

Active member
3pm - 1030pm she says, I actually feel so sorry for nina. That’s a horrendously long day to be somewhere so busy and noisy with no age appropriate activity. Even a woman in front looks back utterly bemused as Nina dances around. Just because you CAN or want to take your kid somewhere doesn’t mean you should. It still has to be fair and appropriate to them. Going to Adele with Nina was nothing but selfishness, and I’m embarrassed on her behalf.
 
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