Weddings - experiences, costs, stories, advice

[actuallyeducated]

Not even engaged but think about my (hopefully) future wedding a lot. My mum was never married, no siblings so not something I actually know much about! Would love a thread on weddings, what you had, UK/abroad, any regrets/things you’d do differently and how much did your wedding cost.

 

[Tommyb]

Watching with interest. Bf has been hinting at a proposal this year. We have discussed what we would like. We have a small family.. maybe 30 guests maximum so would like something intimate. Hard to find a good venue in the UK down south. Considering a wedding abroad so any info on that would be great!

 

[abitfairytale]

Married 14yrs ago...

Small hotel ceremony and wedding breakfast - 35 ppl maybe? All close immediate family (my husband's family is huge!). No friends as we wanted to keep it small and our budget was minimal.

Didn't want an evening do but in-laws insisted upon it and paid for it (we were the first 'young ones' to get married so my mother in law went a bit bridezilla). Apart from a handful of our own friends and the people from the daytime, we didn't know the rest of the people attending. Basically mother-in-law had invited whoever the hell she liked to show off.

The amount of times I said we should have ran away to Vegas and the husband stood firm on no. Now 14yrs on, he wishes we had done that We wanted the marriage, not the wedding as we're both quite quiet people.

 

[openbook1]

I am watching this... got engaged in 2019! We started looking at wedding venues but honestly, it freaked me out. I hate the idea of all eyes being on me, talking in front of people, spending a load of money on one day, etc. Plus, neither of our families live close to us, it would be expensive for them to travel, and my husband's (call him that for the sake of it) dad is sick so wouldn't have been able to travel. We decided last year that eloping is better for us. We were going to elope in 2020 to California, just the two of us and then Covid happened. Covid has confirmed even more, that we don't want to spend the money on a big wedding. So hopefully there will be some eloping stories on here.

 

[RaMOANa]

We had typical big white Irish church wedding 2 Bridesmaids, grooms men and flower girl/page boy. Photos at local beauty spot, drink at our local bar for everyone while photos being taken then onto hotel for full meal for 170, reception with about 50 extra people to the afters with band and DJ dancing til almost dawn following day family and close friends to local pub for round 2 with trad music, drinks and finger food! 28 year old us had an absolute ball! If we were to do it now it would be totally different and much more low key, but it was a great day. We paid for it ourselves.

 

[Sorry I am not sure]

We had typical big white Irish church wedding 2 Bridesmaids, grooms men and flower girl/page boy. Photos at local beauty spot, drink at our local bar for everyone while photos being taken then onto hotel for full meal for 170, reception with about 50 extra people to the afters with band and DJ dancing til almost dawn following day family and close friends to local pub for round 2 with trad music, drinks and finger food! 28 year old us had an absolute ball! If we were to do it now it would be totally different and much more low key, but it was a great day. We paid for it ourselves.

Can’t beat an Irish wedding. Love the day after always good craic!

 

[Giggling Squid]

We had typical big white Irish church wedding 2 Bridesmaids, grooms men and flower girl/page boy. Photos at local beauty spot, drink at our local bar for everyone while photos being taken then onto hotel for full meal for 170, reception with about 50 extra people to the afters with band and DJ dancing til almost dawn following day family and close friends to local pub for round 2 with trad music, drinks and finger food! 28 year old us had an absolute ball! If we were to do it now it would be totally different and much more low key, but it was a great day. We paid for it ourselves.

I love a good Irish wedding!


My sister had a coving wedding - most expensive part of it was the ceremony as they did it all themselves, catering included. Less than £2k all in, so it’s possible to have a cheap wedding but if my experience of helping them plan theirs, it’s a LOT of work.

 

[RaMOANa]

I love a good Irish wedding!


My sister had a coving wedding - most expensive part of it was the ceremony as they did it all themselves, catering included. Less than £2k all in, so it’s possible to have a cheap wedding but if my experience of helping them plan theirs, it’s a LOT of work.

You can really spend as much or as little as you want. I love the idea of small intimate gatherings but can never manage it immediate close family alone puts us easily at 50 people for anything that’s going on had a COVID confirmation day this year and several people got the hump because they weren’t invited as we stayed within guidelines total of 12 people at 2 separate tables of 6 in family groups.... caused an argument within one side of the family so you can’t win so do what makes you comfortable and happy!

 

[Giggling Squid]

You can really spend as much or as little as you want. I love the idea of small intimate gatherings but can never manage it immediate close family alone puts us easily at 50 people for anything that’s going on had a COVID confirmation day this year and several people got the hump because they weren’t invited as we stayed within guidelines total of 12 people at 2 separate tables of 6 in family groups.... caused an argument within one side of the family so you can’t win so do what makes you comfortable and happy!

Yeah, we will have that issue if we ever get married... my immediate family? 3 people. His? 33, and that’s before you include any of the 45 cousins and their families

We missed our nephew’s confirmation last year for that same reason, it’s tough

 

[actuallyeducated]

We had typical big white Irish church wedding 2 Bridesmaids, grooms men and flower girl/page boy. Photos at local beauty spot, drink at our local bar for everyone while photos being taken then onto hotel for full meal for 170, reception with about 50 extra people to the afters with band and DJ dancing til almost dawn following day family and close friends to local pub for round 2 with trad music, drinks and finger food! 28 year old us had an absolute ball! If we were to do it now it would be totally different and much more low key, but it was a great day. We paid for it ourselves.

What would you say your total cost was?

 

[mcfeez]

We had a small wedding - only around 30 people, which isn't that common in Ireland (people usually have big weddings, although smaller ones are becoming much more common and not just due to covid).

We got married at city hall and then afterwards rented a private room in a small boutique hotel. They don't do many weddings as the room is designed specifically for smaller functions so it was perfect. Our meal was fantastic, not a traditional wedding menu which lots of people seem to have (next to no options, costs extra to add on extra meal options etc) - we had 4 options for each course. For our photos we took them in the city centre and at a beautiful local pub, lots of our guests joined us and sat around and had a drink, it was really nice. I would say the wedding cost around or under £5,000.

I do have regrets around my wedding as I didn't want a local wedding at all, it was a compromise between my husband and I. He wanted a traditional 'do and I wanted the two of us to go to Las Vegas. My anxiety in the build up was dreadful and I wouldn't do it again with hindsight. I really like being married but hate weddings!

 

[101d]

So excited for my wedding! And no I am not engaged Love hearing everyone's stories about theirs

 

[SavvyBee]

Abroad in Europe with 85 guests. Loved it - spent an extortionate amount when we added it all up (relatively speaking - we could afford it without any debt or it hindering us in terms of buying a property etc) but it was just the most wonderful few days. I thought the best day of your life thing was a cliche and it was just going to be a great party but it was just the best feeling I can’t even describe. I adored the ceremony and the actual getting married part and then looking around feeling so lucky that those people were there for you both.

I wouldn’t get in to debt for a wedding and I actually think I’d shave down the guest list if we did it again (a few people we no longer are close to, or who frankly didn’t add anything to do the day other than minor drama). I would also in an ideal world have had all guests staying in the same place but it wasn’t an option in our location.
Other regrets are not getting a better photographer (despite them not being cheap!) but absolutely love our video and so glad we paid for it; more than makes up for the photos we don’t love.
I love being married. I know people say it’s just a piece of paper but it isn’t at all to me and I genuinely do feel different being a married woman. I look back at photos / videos routinely and still have guests saying how much they loved our wedding and it makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

 

[Lauz666]

We had a small wedding it was amazing. Then went to Walt Disney world for 2 weeks on honeymoon!

No worrying about pleasing people I highly recommend it

We went to the registry office £120
I got my dress off collectif £100
Husband next suit £80
Wedding cake £20 chocolate cake by a friend

Invited only 12 people. The actual people we like.

Photographer family friend £200 I edited the photos as I'm a photographer myself in spare time. Photoshoot in local woodlands on the way to restaurant.

Private area in resturant and 3 courses for everyone cost less than £200

Dashed home got changed train to Manchester and flew to Florida. Absolutely loved the day.

 

[veryfondoftea]

I got married 8 years ago and had a TEENY wedding - total cost was around £350ish I guess? We got married in a registry office with 6 guests and then went to a lovely cafe for brunch afterwards, with a Hummingbird Bakery cake for our wedding cake. My husband wore a shirt and jeans and I wore a dress from Topshop that was £13 in the sale haha no particular reason for doing such a small wedding other than we couldn't be arsed with the fuss of making it any larger. I have no regrets and wouldn't do anything differently.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Married 14yrs ago...

Small hotel ceremony and wedding breakfast - 35 ppl maybe? All close immediate family (my husband's family is huge!). No friends as we wanted to keep it small and our budget was minimal.

Didn't want an evening do but in-laws insisted upon it and paid for it (we were the first 'young ones' to get married so my mother in law went a bit bridezilla). Apart from a handful of our own friends and the people from the daytime, we didn't know the rest of the people attending. Basically mother-in-law had invited whoever the hell she liked to show off.

The amount of times I said we should have ran away to Vegas and the husband stood firm on no. Now 14yrs on, he wishes we had done that We wanted the marriage, not the wedding as we're both quite quiet people.

Same here. Our parents ending up inviting so many people that we didn't even know some of them.
My husband wanted to have his friend as his bestman, but was pushed into having his brother instead by MIL.
SIL (husband's sister) had a hissy fit because I didn't ask her to be my bridesmaid (my bridesmaid was my friend that I knew since we were 14) SIL then turned up at the wedding in white see through trousers and a white see through top with a white (yup, you guessed it, see through) sparkly bra underneath.
Parents weren't happy with the menu, the band, even the outfit that the pageboy (husband's nephew who I didn't want) was wearing!
Husband's friend (who has never liked me) decided to announce that she was pregnant at the wedding.
Husband's aunt passed a comment about my dress 'not being to her taste'
In-laws neighbour (who I had met once) cornered me in the bathroom and asked how much I paid for my dress

If I ever get married again, I'll go away and do it somewhere, just myself and whoever I'm marrying.

 

[Bora Bora Local]

Ok so I can offer two perspectives for you as our original wedding was cancelled and we ended up having a micro wedding (Covid related cancellation).

So we were due to have a big wedding, 60 in the day, 80 in the evening. Farm venue. Celebrant to conduct, band in the evening. Dress,3 bridesmaids, bespoke suit, then general decor, flowers, cake etc. I did A LOT of the DIY myself so saved a bit of money there but all in all it was going to come in around £20k.

Our micro wedding (us and two witnesses), same suit, different dress, photographer we had already paid for as part of the big wedding, the meal for 8 family members came to just over £2k.

we could have done both cheaper and equally more expensive. Wedding venues are expensive, food is expensive as is alcohol. Dry hire venues are a good way to cut costs but there is a lot you have to do yourself then! Anyway happy to answer any questions!

 

[nbt]

Ok so I can offer two perspectives for you as our original wedding was cancelled and we ended up having a micro wedding (Covid related cancellation).

So we were due to have a big wedding, 60 in the day, 80 in the evening. Farm venue. Celebrant to conduct, band in the evening. Dress,3 bridesmaids, bespoke suit, then general decor, flowers, cake etc. I did A LOT of the DIY myself so saved a bit of money there but all in all it was going to come in around £20k.

Our micro wedding (us and two witnesses), same suit, different dress, photographer we had already paid for as part of the big wedding, the meal for 8 family members came to just over £2k.

we could have done both cheaper and equally more expensive. Wedding venues are expensive, food is expensive as is alcohol. Dry hire venues are a good way to cut costs but there is a lot you have to do yourself then! Anyway happy to answer any questions!

Ooh this is interesting awe’re currently in the process of cancelling our original big wedding. Was booked for June last year, then postponed for April and now we’re looking to cancel. Basically we don’t want to be tied to the same venue which caters for larger weddings and wouldn’t work well with a small number. We are hoping to get our money back which we’ll use as a house deposit and then do a smaller thing later this year.

What made you change your dress and what have you done with your original? We’re also hoping to keep our photographer too and hope she will be able to fit with a new date in the future. Same with flowers. We’ve paid a deposit so hope that we can use that money for a smaller selection of flowers.

Are you happy with your decision in the end? I have to say, I’m looking forward now to planning something small and although I feel sad for what we could have had, there’s a sense of relief there too.

 

[Bora Bora Local]

Ooh this is interesting awe’re currently in the process of cancelling our original big wedding. Was booked for June last year, then postponed for April and now we’re looking to cancel. Basically we don’t want to be tied to the same venue which caters for larger weddings and wouldn’t work well with a small number. We are hoping to get our money back which we’ll use as a house deposit and then do a smaller thing later this year.

What made you change your dress and what have you done with your original? We’re also hoping to keep our photographer too and hope she will be able to fit with a new date in the future. Same with flowers. We’ve paid a deposit so hope that we can use that money for a smaller selection of flowers.

Are you happy with your decision in the end? I have to say, I’m looking forward now to planning something small and although I feel sad for what we could have had, there’s a sense of relief there too.

our new micro wedding was in a registry office in a city centre then a meal in a restaurant. My original dress was just too much for that. I personally would have felt overdressed! But if you want to wear yours do it!

we were so happy with our decision, it’s enabled us to buy a bigger house and so much of the pressure came off us. i feel sad about some
Aspects, all of the DIY I put hours and hours into were wasted and I missed having a dance and a party, but it wasn’t worth £20k and to us we had the perfect day! We loved it!

Oh and no idea what I’m going to do with the original dress! Probably sell, might take some
Photos in it first later this year!

 

[Peartree]

together 10 years decided to get married. Rang venue arranged for the Thursday in 8 weeks time. Bought dress. Everyone wanted our custom as a Thursday, got florist, cake maker, hairdresser, makeup, photographer etc everything I wanted. Had 33 guests - wanted people to choose own meal so limited to 35. Went the whole way, canapés, starter, sorbet, main, desert, cheese biscuits and port. Free bar
had a pianist during the meal and into evening. No real evening do but the meal was quite lengthy and we just sat around and talked some people danced.

didn’t bother with bridesmaids just had witnesses. Didn’t bother with speeches or formality

Only cost £3000.
We stayed overnight at the venue, 3 nights in the lakes and flew to Corfu for 2 weeks in a huge villa we rented. Again around £3000

thats it. No hassle, very simple. Been married 15 yrs

we would of eloped but hubbys brother did that a few months earlier and his mum never shut up about how disappointed she was