Tobys Home

[Ella26]

I find it so insulting to actual designers, that people like Toby think that can be interior designers just because they’ve ripped off a Neptune catalogue and have a few thousand minions following.
His house is very pleasant but with no personality or originality.

 

[justhavinanosey]

According to his stories he was going to find permanent places for his accessories and stop moving them. I thought.... finally he's taken on board these tattle comments but nope in the same story he went on further to go on about more changes. Eh ??? Today....it won't surprise you but he is painting the blooding chimney breast again.

Wee lad is a knob head...just shows how sad his life actually is, the paint will start to peel off because it’s so damn thick with all those layers! Ugh.

 

[Dizzy]

What.
The.
Fuck.

 

[Chatterbox]

He’s painting again! ‘The stairwell seasonal makeover.’ Really? Are these people for real? Imagine talking like this to your friends in real life. Actually, imagine doing this in real life. It reeks of desperation for likes on the gram and actually shows how dissatisfied he is with everything after what only seems like two minutes!!!! Plus all the new accessories! Lamps, throws, cushions, foliage, vases, baskets.....the list goes on. What does he do with them all???? He only lives in a cottage!!!! He is fascinating! The wedding is going to be some spectacle!!!!! He’s probably got about 10 outfit changes planned. Wonder if Neptune do a wedding gift service??? Although come to think of it, there’s very little from their collection that he hasn’t already got!!!

 

[JodieGreen123]

Christ if he loved interior design and was any good at it surely he’d stick with his amazing choices instead of changing everything every 5 sodding minutes.

 

[JodieGreen123]

The dog is like leave me the fuck out of this charade!

 

[Cariad]

These hooks are making me twitchy......they're not level / or centred on the panels ....his attention to detail is appalling

 

[breakfastatvancleefs]

It won’t be a real job. It will be an in house influencer social media bod filming content in exchange for a taupe rug and a tin of paint. Neptune employ professional interior designers I’ve seen them at work in the one near us. Not a vapid fanboy with an obsession with their table runners.
I think his family finance him. There’s no way on earth somebody his age would own a cottage near Bath and spend their days shopping and styling without family input. Probably tax planning. The cottage is the blandest place I’ve ever seen it’s simply a microcosm of Neptune. His must have literally nothing else to do.
I do buy Neptune we have their lamps, pictures crockery and dining table. Do I want my whole house full of it? No. Mix it up for crying out loud!!

 

[JodieGreen123]

Why has he done a reel about making the cottage cosy for the autumn? Every single post is about how fucking cosy it is! Surely it can’t be more cosy?

 

[Right on top of that rose]

Toby is starting to introduce blue and orange into his colour palette- of course it has nothing to do with blue and orange being Neptune’s new colours of the season

 

[Onthehop]

He is so fame thirsty, give the man a drink. Honestly, the whole ‘I just had surgery’ is no different to the multiple, ‘major life update’ posts he shares, which prove to be utter rubbish.

He’s the fb equivalent on “you okay hun?”

 

[Cariad]

All the farrow and ball gear, definitely no idea

 

[Exhaustednurse]

One look at his feed and it’s full of click bait ‘titles’…’Big news’ ‘breaking up’ ‘what really happened’. He is so fame thirsty.

 

[JodieGreen123]

Maybe he got banned from Neptune in Bath and wanted a clean slate with the Cheltenham branch?

 

[Exhaustednurse]

He makes no sense. Literally I cannot work out of he is some sort of parody. All he does is change things around in his house and then back again. Peppered with the odd ‘guys we’ve got a huge announcement to make’ which is usually to say he is painting to skirting boards in ‘smelly vag’ or some other Farrow and Ball nonsense.

 

[JodieGreen123]

So cosy, so chilled, so relaxed, slow living, cottage life = overwhelmed, stressed, burnt out, too much going on, online bullying etc.

Think I’ll give being cosy, chilled and relaxed a miss in that case!

 

[Exhaustednurse]

Thank goodness Toby’s posted an updated statement on his health ‘acknowledging’ that he’s been quieter whilst he recovers and fights his way back to full health. I mean fucking PHEW!

Without that acknowledgment I don’t think I could have gone into the weekend and had any sense of peace

 

[Right on top of that rose]

Seeing as he is taking over the generic home instagrammers thread.

Let’s talk about our favourite permatanned, sock less, neurotic instagrammer

 

[Hashtagged]

Guys, it’s autumn crockery time in the cottage, it’s cosy cooking in the cottage, it’s cosy night in in the cottage, it’s taking a shit in the cosy cottage

 

[JodieGreen123]

I’m so over these absolute wankers continually announcing that it’s autumn and it’s all so cosy. Just fuck off. It’s going to be 24 degrees in Bath at the weekend so definitely the perfect weather for soup, hot baths and even hotter hot chocolates. Just fuck the fuck off trying to make autumn a way of fucking life.