Sendparent
Chatty Member
Who knows, maybe not if shes realised the rspca dont pay single cat parent keiras an allowance to look after them.
- Notice
Smiffy1990
Well-known member
Jesus fucking christ this woman drives me insane!
As a single mum of 2 to a child with cystic fibrosis, who is also tube fed, is on a great deal of medication and has to have physio multiple times a day and needs a fair bit of support through the night to clear mucous, among other additional needs. I work 35 hours a week, do all my own school drop offs and pick ups, never miss a hospital appt, I have no carers, no motability, absolutely zero input from the kids dad I would never, ever dream of consistently labelling myself a 'carer' I'm a fucking parent, I parent my children. I also appreciate in the grand scheme of things I am incredibly lucky.
The last couple of weeks her posts have honestly made me so incredibly angry, get the fuck over yourself and PARENT YOUR CHILD!
Why the fuck does she think the world owes her anything. J hasn't been underscored on the assessment in my opinion. He's mobile, he communicates and he was toilet training at one point. I also stand by she purposely let his tube site get that manky to score higher on the assessment.
There are so many families out there so much more deserving and in need of 60hrs a week of carers than her. Ergh this probably makes no sense but I'm just fucking angry.
As a single mum of 2 to a child with cystic fibrosis, who is also tube fed, is on a great deal of medication and has to have physio multiple times a day and needs a fair bit of support through the night to clear mucous, among other additional needs. I work 35 hours a week, do all my own school drop offs and pick ups, never miss a hospital appt, I have no carers, no motability, absolutely zero input from the kids dad I would never, ever dream of consistently labelling myself a 'carer' I'm a fucking parent, I parent my children. I also appreciate in the grand scheme of things I am incredibly lucky.
The last couple of weeks her posts have honestly made me so incredibly angry, get the fuck over yourself and PARENT YOUR CHILD!
Why the fuck does she think the world owes her anything. J hasn't been underscored on the assessment in my opinion. He's mobile, he communicates and he was toilet training at one point. I also stand by she purposely let his tube site get that manky to score higher on the assessment.
There are so many families out there so much more deserving and in need of 60hrs a week of carers than her. Ergh this probably makes no sense but I'm just fucking angry.
What pisses me off is how she puts all parents of a disabled child are like her. The sen community. No. We are not.
There are plenty of single mums from the sen community who don't have carers. With children who qualify. There's mums who don't use transport. They don't chuck their kid to whoever will have them. They don't use a hospice like a dogs kennel so they can jet off.
They don't throw pity parties. They don't post distressing videos.
I can go and on.
I wish she'd stop making out we are all like her.
We are not. I am fed up of you Kathy using us who you never supported or interacted with... and we have never liked you.
Just because you've still a few sen accounts up your are doesn't mean we all do. Doesn't mean you can use the sen community as your get out of jail free card whilst giving us a bad name.
Sick of hearing the pity party for one.
Never in my life have I heard someoneove herself so so much and hate her life. Let's face it she hates it. She's unhappy. She's quick to use her son to fund her lifestyle but that's all he's good for. Cash. "Fame".
She never should of been a mother. She's no maternal instinct and she's a vile personality.
Shes not so busy when she's travelling to London for her teeth done, or jetting off on yet another holiday, or doing her lip pumping that lasted a week, or getting her gifted hair done, or going on tinderdates , pole dancing, London weekend trips away for cocktails and expensive hotels, personal workouts...
She has a warped idea of life as a parent to a child with complex needs.
Other than his potassium and tube site.... what does she deal with that's so complex? So hard to care for? All I see is a child who can communicate, play, talk, see, hear, move around independently, no seizures, no respiratory needs, no pressure sores, no dystopia or muscle spasms... he doesn't go to the hospice anymore ... so I'd like to know if he actually fits the criteria she keeps using as a pity party.
This is no competition what so ever but how she can post that shit when there are others in harder situations... who haven't got thousands fundraised, a support system.... and even those who do qualify for things but choose not. She takes everything going. Does the bare minimum when she does have her son and yet.... we are supposed to feel sorry for her?
Your not the first and only person to have a child with additional needs Kathy hun. Come shadow me for a week with my son and I'll show you you've nothing to moan about. Get over it.
If you actually looked after your son, kept up to his tube site, got him help when needed, was on the ball making sure people know he's down to his last liner in his wheelchair... if you kept him on his anti reflix medications and stuck to a care plan for longer than a week you'd probably find you wouldn't be in the mess you call your life.
There are plenty of single mums from the sen community who don't have carers. With children who qualify. There's mums who don't use transport. They don't chuck their kid to whoever will have them. They don't use a hospice like a dogs kennel so they can jet off.
They don't throw pity parties. They don't post distressing videos.
I can go and on.
I wish she'd stop making out we are all like her.
We are not. I am fed up of you Kathy using us who you never supported or interacted with... and we have never liked you.
Just because you've still a few sen accounts up your are doesn't mean we all do. Doesn't mean you can use the sen community as your get out of jail free card whilst giving us a bad name.
Sick of hearing the pity party for one.
Never in my life have I heard someoneove herself so so much and hate her life. Let's face it she hates it. She's unhappy. She's quick to use her son to fund her lifestyle but that's all he's good for. Cash. "Fame".
She never should of been a mother. She's no maternal instinct and she's a vile personality.
Shes not so busy when she's travelling to London for her teeth done, or jetting off on yet another holiday, or doing her lip pumping that lasted a week, or getting her gifted hair done, or going on tinderdates , pole dancing, London weekend trips away for cocktails and expensive hotels, personal workouts...
She has a warped idea of life as a parent to a child with complex needs.
Other than his potassium and tube site.... what does she deal with that's so complex? So hard to care for? All I see is a child who can communicate, play, talk, see, hear, move around independently, no seizures, no respiratory needs, no pressure sores, no dystopia or muscle spasms... he doesn't go to the hospice anymore ... so I'd like to know if he actually fits the criteria she keeps using as a pity party.
This is no competition what so ever but how she can post that shit when there are others in harder situations... who haven't got thousands fundraised, a support system.... and even those who do qualify for things but choose not. She takes everything going. Does the bare minimum when she does have her son and yet.... we are supposed to feel sorry for her?
Your not the first and only person to have a child with additional needs Kathy hun. Come shadow me for a week with my son and I'll show you you've nothing to moan about. Get over it.
If you actually looked after your son, kept up to his tube site, got him help when needed, was on the ball making sure people know he's down to his last liner in his wheelchair... if you kept him on his anti reflix medications and stuck to a care plan for longer than a week you'd probably find you wouldn't be in the mess you call your life.
AreYouJoking?
Well-known member
10 days? I’ve not had that much time away from my SEN child in the whole 5.5 yrs. he’s been alive and I can’t see me getting it in the next 5.5 either.
The cookie post was clearly from the motorway services car park after she collected him. I love how his dad has posting with the amount of days he’s been with him. He knows Kathleen’s game and I’m almost certain he reads here too.
The cookie post was clearly from the motorway services car park after she collected him. I love how his dad has posting with the amount of days he’s been with him. He knows Kathleen’s game and I’m almost certain he reads here too.
Curiouslycurious
Active member
I’m sorry but I can’t watch anymore on baby A, she looks so tired and poorly and I know the parents are coping in their way by sharing stories etc but I feel like it’s time to put the phones away. All I’m seeing is influencers jumping onto this poor baby and sharing what should be a private time. I just feel like it’s crossing a line now.
Kath is a leach and I just don’t like how many are using this baby for their own content.
Kath is a leach and I just don’t like how many are using this baby for their own content.
Totally understand where you’re all coming from about Azaylia, I’m so lucky, my child survived but was extremely poorly at one point and honesty I was too wrapped up in our world to think about what others think, or to recognise it’s possibly distressing for people who haven’t spent all that time in hospital with sick kids.
It’s clearly a coping mechanism for them and they’re keeping people who want to know updated. It’s distressing but please don’t judge them saying it’s not appropriate etc, they may see the comments after she’s gone and they may regret the amount they’ve shared, they don’t need the judgement.
I’m sure you can pause people on insta? Perhaps do that. Like I say, totally understand it’s distressing, I broke down watching the videos the other day but the way she looks and being so sick is their normal and they’re not in a state of mind to be considering distress to others.
I believe they are absolutely admirable. I’m not afraid to admit when my son was given crappy odds I pulled away for a week because I was so scared to maintain the bond if he was going to die. I fell into a massive depression and didn’t want to see a soul and my husband wasn’t much better. Hats off to them, they’re made of strong stuff
It’s clearly a coping mechanism for them and they’re keeping people who want to know updated. It’s distressing but please don’t judge them saying it’s not appropriate etc, they may see the comments after she’s gone and they may regret the amount they’ve shared, they don’t need the judgement.
I’m sure you can pause people on insta? Perhaps do that. Like I say, totally understand it’s distressing, I broke down watching the videos the other day but the way she looks and being so sick is their normal and they’re not in a state of mind to be considering distress to others.
I believe they are absolutely admirable. I’m not afraid to admit when my son was given crappy odds I pulled away for a week because I was so scared to maintain the bond if he was going to die. I fell into a massive depression and didn’t want to see a soul and my husband wasn’t much better. Hats off to them, they’re made of strong stuff
Smiffy1990
Well-known member
Difference being is I'm guessing you haven't manipulated people in to donating 80 odd grand, I'm guessing you move mountains to make sure your child doesn't deteriorate in any aspect of life, I'm guessing like a lot of us parents with children with complex needs you can have a tendency to downplay your child needs to people as opposed to exaggerate them for financial gain, sympathy or to access services that you know you otherwise would not be entitled too. The system needs change, top to bottom, especially CHC for a lot of people, but it won't change when you have people like Kathleen abusing an already incredibly underfunded over stretched system for her own sfish needs not for her complex child.
It's not just the hospice care or the transport or the go fund me or the motability it's a combination of so many things over a long period of time attitude, humility and gratefulness for what she has been so incredibly lucky to access being a big big part of that.
Yes some people are insensitive on this thread but you also see a lot of advocacy and education for people that may not be well versed in complex medical needs or SEN children.
I’mThankyou_
VIP Member
"I learnt that being way more than a nurse at home"
A mother Kathleen. A mother is what you are at home. Not a nurse, not a care coordinator. A mother.
A mother Kathleen. A mother is what you are at home. Not a nurse, not a care coordinator. A mother.
HoGi
VIP Member
If you have never heard of her and you don't want to read back over the 6 threads, then I would suggest this thread isn't of interest to you
Crazymum
VIP Member
This screams to me she’s allowed his gastric site to get so bad so it would go in her favor. She’s a disgusting example as a mother . That poor child. He doesnt need those carers shes just fuckin lazy!
Sendparent
Chatty Member
I dont think people underestimate the pressure we face, theres been plenty of people on here advocating how it is for sen families and helping others understand. We have been saying how unfair it is that she is getting support that's not needed when many others require more support for their children whos needs are more complex but dont get it.
I dont know your circumstances but from what you have said it sounds like your in a different situation. Js needs are not that complex that nobody else can look after him, his needs are relatively low. He is able to stay with his dad and family. There is no difference in taking J on holiday than taking a child without needs. His needs are not that high that if he went on holiday with her she wouldn't be able to have a rest herself, his needs are very similar to children his age. She insisted the hospital discharged him when he was little so she could take him on holiday as making memories abroad was really important to her despite them asking her to take him somewhere closer and forcing her to cancel 2 holidays as he was too ill. They said spain was too far but she took him on a 5 hour flight to tenerife. She advocated that having holidays abroad was as important to make memories as staying in hospital for treatment if his future was unknown. More like she didn't want to cancel a 3rd holiday with her man because as soon as she realised she could apply for end of life hospice care, making memories abroad with J was no longer important for some reason, all that shouting she did to take him abroad at first disappeared once she knew she could apply for end of life hospice care. That is why I and others have likened it to dumping your child at kennels to go abroad. I would never fill out end of life hospice care for my child when they dont need that. I'd be ashamed of myself. I would also allow my child to go to their dad or family if I needed a break and she has that option.
I am all for parents being given respite and using it appropriately, especially when it's their only chance to rest and taking their child would be impossible, highly difficult or unsafe for the child. There are thousands that dont get that. Just because a child has a physical health condition I dont think that means they should be given support that's not needed, if we are going to give parents of children who have physical medical needs the opportunity to use hospices to go on holiday abroad, parents of children who have mental health needs should also get that chance as the hours spent caring can far exceed the hours Kathleen spends caring for J and those with mental health needs rarely get respite, support or care hours. I don't agree with anyone using a hospice and claiming their child needs end of life care when they dont, in order to go abroad with a guy. I also think children should go a few times to settle in before being left for a long period whilst their mum goes abroad. Personal opinion but I dont agree that if your child is in a hospice you should go far away to another country due to emergencies that may happen but no disrespect to those who choose to do that.
Another personal opinion is that if you have a motability car for a child and you live less than 3 miles from the school, are not working and have no other children to do the school run for, I think that transport place should be given to a child who has been refused it but needs it or if they're older and need to develop independence in the community skills. I understand what you are saying about the difficulties getting a child out of the car who has difficulties walking but Kathleen can manage to do that easily with J any other time. Not once has she said she struggles to take him out due to poor mobility. She rarely uses his wheelchair and the Walker only comes out for reels and ads. He's 3 it would be different if he was older with limited mobility, his mobility is delayed not severe. We all want our children to be treated like other children so I dont believe we should expect special treatment if it's not necessary and J's transport is not necessary but there are thousands of sen children who do need transport but its denied, plus alot of them dont have motability cars. I think its ableist to treat our children different if it's not something that's necessary but again just a personal opinion. I try to treat my children the same as each other, if I can avoid doing something that's not necessary I do. I think its important they all get as normal a childhood as possible, I wouldn't fight or insist on things that arent needed.
I don't believe sen parents should exaggerate their child's needs in order to get things, I dont think CHC should be used for childcare to enable a social and working life because if that's fair then CHC should be made available to every single parent carer who is unable to work regardless of what their childs diagnosis and needs are. CHC is not there so you can go out getting pissed every night to the point carers are reporting you for coming back in the night with a man drunk and arguing or walking around naked pissed.
I dont think it's right to hinder your childs wellbeing and health just so you can score high enough to receive things that they dont need so you benefit and can go out. It's dangerous, abusive and negligent. I don't know any sen parent that withdraws their childs meds to save them time and then screams that doctors arent helping their child when they become worse due to the meds that managed those things were stopped.
Services are over stretched and underfunded, I can't defend a sen parent just because I'm also a sen parent, if they're abusing the system and causing harm its indefensible.
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Wildwildeast
Member
Ten days with his dad it seems! Also wander if the dad has access to the overnight carers as she does? Or whether this proves that he can be looked after by a parent solely.
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Basicbasic
VIP Member
I'm finding the baby A stories really disturbing. I think it's too much and have unfollowed. It's tragedy porn, watching a poor baby dying. Everyone feeding off their feed, and they're grieving and probably not thinking straight but it's too much. They should record every second, but sharing it with the whole world is not appropriate. That poor girl deserves some privacy. There's so many leeches on social media who are building followers using the disturbing footage.
Wildwildeast
Member
Not you x
My child is entitled to transport. I wake up every morning and take him - why? Because he is my child and I am able to in the Motability car that is heavily subsidised for these purposes. You cannot just take take take everything for your own benefit and completely drain the system dry. There is such a long waiting list for transport in my area that I’d rather another family who do not have access to a Motability car have transport. As others have pointed out - Kathleen selected a Mercedes (they shouldn’t even do Mercedes on the scheme as far as I’m concerned) for her own benefit - so she “looks the part”. SHE CAN DRIVE HIM TO SCHOOL SHE DOES NOTHING ALL DAY. I work and still drive my child to school, and collect my child. I do not abuse the system even though I could. I think of the other families in my position who are less financially fortunate.
I also think the hospice statement is ridiculous. I would never personally put my child in a hospice to go away. I decided to have a child - the child is my responsibility. I have been away once without my child - for 27 hours - on a city Europe trip to France - my mother had my child. I just don’t understand this narrative that if people want a holiday they can/should be able to dump their children at hospices. Yes us SEN mums need a break but what about the hundreds of thousands who don’t have access to hospices and just have to get on with it? It is not the NHS’ place to offer CHILDCARE to individuals (regardless of SEN OR NOT) so they can go on holiday with their current shag. Get real. She seems to think the SEN title strips her of her general responsibilities as a MOTHER.
You are infuriating me now. I am sure you are her.
She is the worst example of a mother I have seen - let alone a SEN mother. Her level of entitlement is sickening. She hasn’t posted with J the last couple days - I bet he’s not even with her. Wander where he’s been dumped this time. Also if he is able to be cared for by his other parent with no carers, it’s beggars belief why she thinks she’s entitled? She’s just lazy. She wants carers so she can sleep. Not because he needs them. That is not what this is for. She basically barely looks after that child and when she does it’s negligent care. I’m sorry being in the SEN community I am aware of so many different types of SEN children and J just isn’t entitled to what he’s been receiving. What kind of SEN mum posts a pole dancing video? Is your page about your Kaytee or J? She uses J for the numbers but really she just wants the page for her own benefit. I hope she gets stripped of absolutely everything and has to learn to parent. She is a vile vile vile self centred individual and I feel so sorry for that little boy. I hope before long people see through her shit. Lazy lazy lazy lazy entitled woman. An insult to the SEN community but also parenthood in general. Happy Easter guys x
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There are lots of genuine reasons to complain about the support in the U.K. and Kaytee is actually an excellent example of this. Her child has moderate needs at most, sleeps through most nights, is in full-time school with transport, and she has had 60hrs of carers since he left hospital. This isn’t an equitable level of support. It actually provides Kaytee with a more comfortable life than most other parents with young children. Not just SEN parents, all parents. She has maintained this care package by playing the appeals system and because she has a social media presence and her “cause” has been jumped on by celebrities and daytime tv. Kaytee has even managed to make a career out of her child’s needs, exploiting him for social media likes and getting adverts off the back of his distress.
Meanwhile people with children with much higher needs have much lower levels of support because they don’t play the system, don’t have social media presence, and don’t have celebrities supporting them. That is what people should be complaining about. The level of care Kaytee gets is out of all proportion with the level of needs J has. If they were to set “equity” at the level of care Kaytee currently gets then every parent of a baby with reflux would be given 100hrs of care a week for as long as that condition persists.
tablesandchairs
Chatty Member
Wtf is manifesting?! Act like you already have what you want?! Whaaaaat. I want to be a size 6 so I’ll just start buying size 6 clothes and squeezing my size 16 arse into them and that’ll make it true?! I want a job at a certain place so I’ll act like I’ve got it already....turn up to work there uninvited? Ffs what a load of absolute bullshit.
codspittle
New member
22nd April 2021: story
“Would Jason ever be potty trained?
...it can be really hard for (SEN) parents to hear this question because ... how would we know?”
11th December 2020: main grid post
“AD JAXON IS TOILET TRAINING...
Well it’s a delight to tell you that whilst he isn’t quite there yet we are using (rubbish brand who do no diligence on their influencers) and the progress is immense”
How is it hard to hear a question about something you openly posted you were doing four months ago? She’s tried toilet training and the progress was “immense”. So it’s not an insensitive question it’s somebody asking for an update. And instead of an update they got a gaslighting, emotionally manipulative, and belittling response. Disgusting.
“Would Jason ever be potty trained?
...it can be really hard for (SEN) parents to hear this question because ... how would we know?”
11th December 2020: main grid post
“AD JAXON IS TOILET TRAINING...
Well it’s a delight to tell you that whilst he isn’t quite there yet we are using (rubbish brand who do no diligence on their influencers) and the progress is immense”
How is it hard to hear a question about something you openly posted you were doing four months ago? She’s tried toilet training and the progress was “immense”. So it’s not an insensitive question it’s somebody asking for an update. And instead of an update they got a gaslighting, emotionally manipulative, and belittling response. Disgusting.