The Neurodiversity Thread

[AT_16]

If he is diagnosed with Asperger’s don’t despair, neurodiversity is honestly a difference not a disability. I can think of at least ten CEOs and tech genuises with Asperger’s. The world can be cruel but he’ll be fine. And don’t listen to mumsnet etc as gospel truth, I saw one thread where they were saying dyslexic kids had to go to special schools and it’s such shite

I’d be a little careful about jumping to conclusions about things as well. Take advice from professionals, but be aware they’re sometimes working off a checklist. For example I’m dyspraxic, not autistic, and it was thought I was autistic for years as I wouldn’t play ball games in the playground. I didn’t like the games because I found the coordination aspect difficult, nothing to do with the other kids. It’s sometimes obvious there’s a ‘difference’ but not how severe it’s going to be- for example I wasn’t great at eye contact up until like age 11 but was fine as a teen

thank you, i just want him to have a diagnosis so he has the right support and so i can understand how his brain works and support him better because at the moment i don’t know what to do

i hate feeling like i am watching him suffer and i can’t help!

 

[shadowcat5]

Bit of a weird one and very minor really but anyone else find they are useless when using a knife and fork? I realised just now that I prefer to eat with a spoon cause it requires less coordination

 

[Kim Mild]

I read something that older parents are more likely to have nd children and that was given as a reason for the rise in nd cases . My parents were older when they had me.

 

[shadowcat5]

I had a private adhd assessment last year and had shared care agreed in January. It was worth it for me

Thank you. Would you mind talking to me about it?
What happens once you are diagnosed? Is it reported to the GP etc?

 

[Millie2023]

Hello
ADDer here, I also have some issues with sensory stuff (texture and sound)
Currently unmedicated since pre-pregnancy 10 years ago , not sure how I feel about going back on meds now!

 

[soph30]

Hi @soph30,
Jumped over from the I'm a celeb thread to reply. Thanks for the link it was a good idea!
So my story in short... I was an extremely hyperactive child who talked incessantly and was probably fairly socially clueless for the most part. I also had extreme emotional outbursts which I now realise were meltdowns. My parents sought the help of a psychologist at one point and he suggested I may have been brain damaged at birth. Nice. My birth was totally bog standard so nothing to suggest that. My parents never went back! Fast forward to now and three of my children are autistic with co-morbid ADHD. Suddenly it all became clear!

In terms of emotional intelligence, as an adult I've always been able to read a room. To the extent that I would instantly know what any underlying issues were between people, who fancied someone, who wasn't quite right. I can also pick up someone's motives and have a particular wariness of inappropriate over familiarity. I can read even the most subtle facial expressions and mannerisms etc. However, I'm not a fan of small talk and am far more comfortable having open, to the point conversations. I can also see both sides of arguments which I found used to really irritate people. Turns out people don't want reason and logic when they just want to vent. Oops. I've learnt the way to phrase things better now and when it best to say nothing!

It took me a long time to reach that point though and properly attune to it if that makes sense? I used to mask a lot (without realising it) which didn't leave much room for concentrating on the behaviour and motives of others.

I was a frighteningly naive child/teen. I'm quite surprised I'm still alive to be honest because I took so many risks without realising they were risks. I moved out at 16, over a hundred miles away, on a complete whim. There were difficulties at home and I was just so desperate to be free. Now my children are of a similar age that absolutely horrifies me.

The realisation that I masked had to be pointed out to me by someone else. I'd made a comment that I'd always been able to blend with different friendship groups, adapting the way I'd speak etc but that I'd always come away feeling very drained and that I happened to notice the difference with a particular set of friends I made. I could just relax and be me and even better they liked me for me and didn't look at me like I had three heads if I just 'was'. It won't surprise you to know that a large proportion of that friendship group are either ND or have ND children.

Sorry, the world's longest post . It's all very present in my mind at the moment for one reason or another. There's loads more I could add and I think I've probably gone off the point you actually asked a bit, sorry.

Ah when were you diagnosed autistic though, as a child or an adult?

 

[Kim Mild]

I went to the cinema yesterday on my own which I’ve never done before! I really enjoyed what I went to see (six the musical) so I was able to hyper focus on it. I get overwhelmed in the cinema too but by people making lots of noise eating, talking and rustling wrappers. Does your cinema do autism friendly screenings? I think they reduce all the noise that you don’t like - they don’t do many of them though

I think there are sometimes autism friendly screenings , usually early mornings. I'm not sure if they'd help me because I find the screen itself too high definition. It tries to make you feel like you are there, in the action. My son doesn't like it either , he felt sick .
I think I'd have coped better if every little bit had been just so.
It's good you went yourself. I only ever go to the cinema because someone else wants to.

 

[iLoveMeSomeCanoles]

Does anyone know of any good books about ASD, specifically in females who are diagnosed late?
I need something that is easy to read and no academic/medical language.

I want to help some family understand why some things are difficult for me. I will read it first and highlight any points that are relevant to me.

Does that even sound like a good idea?

 

[soph30]

I read something that older parents are more likely to have nd children and that was given as a reason for the rise in nd cases . My parents were older when they had me.

My mum had high blood pressure and tests showed I might be Downs, but I was just ND. It’s weird how these things manifest as ND isn’t officially a disability? It gives the baby ‘weaknesses’ I guess

 

[skronkywildcat]

Here’s the open letter to Brewdog if anyone’s interested https://www.punkswithpurpose.org/dearbrewdog/

 

[Lisdiz]

When companies talk about ‘diversity’ I want to ask how many neurodiverse people they have we have work superpowers, we just never get hired from an interview

I do wish there was a company that hired exclusively autistic people in the office, it would make things significantly easier to navigate; no office politics, no water cooler small talk, we all say awkward things and enjoy never having team building events

For the win

 

[Fifah1907]

Hey all,
I’m diagnosed ADHD and having a very tough time thinking everyone hates me atm. First shift back after annual leave and just found the day so tough thinking I’m doing or saying the wrong thing. Just needed to vent somewhere

Vent away! It’s what we’re here for.

I was going to put the hug emoji but I don’t know how you feel about sensory things (even virtual ) so swerved it!

 

[shadowcat5]

Just sent an email to my boss about the sensory issues I’ve been having in the office resulting in me ending up ill. Terrified

 

[shadowcat5]

Do any of you feel like you struggle with rejection and confrontation in that regard?

ETA: Posted this with 0 context haha. Something happened to me yesterday that is so stupid but I'm still upset over .

 

[ClaretFairy]

I've had a bit of a day today and it has properly exhausted me. I forgot my bag , and phone when I went out, I drove to somewhere I don't normally. We went to the cinema, which is a sensory nightmare. I hate the surround sound , and hate the way the screen makes me feel disorientated. I also felt quite trapped in the auditorium.
I can't do anything else today as I feel like I have to recover from all that .

I went to the cinema yesterday on my own which I’ve never done before! I really enjoyed what I went to see (six the musical) so I was able to hyper focus on it. I get overwhelmed in the cinema too but by people making lots of noise eating, talking and rustling wrappers. Does your cinema do autism friendly screenings? I think they reduce all the noise that you don’t like - they don’t do many of them though

 

[Jas28]

I get more work and concentrate more on my wfh days. I also find the office yapper really irritating sadly they are a nice person but I can’t hear myself think when they’re nattering away. Are there some people who have adhd who actually thrive as extroverts and constantly chatter ? This person always speaks so fast and random topics and never stays still it drives me nuts I have no idea when and how they ever get deep work done. I know it’s not for me to say but I was thinking they must have adhd but not like me at all, they don’t even let others get a word in or ask anyone else questions just go on about themselves. Im always mindful of the people in the room and people I’m speaking to and make sure everyone is included but I have done work on myself. I guess we’re all different

 

[Meg78]

Use dopamine to your advantage

Do you like chocolate or sweets or fizzy drinks? Do you smoke? Something that makes your brain do what you want.

I would work on a reward system. So every x minutes or x pages (make it realistic) you get the treat. When I was in uni I would say every paragraph I get a cookie and then I'd walk around, do some star jumps or some dancing and sit back down. Do not scroll on your phone that will make it worse.
You get that back at the end.

I really wish my brain responded to this! I’ve spent the past hour telling myself that I’ll get some chocolate or get to watch a tv show after 20 mins, only then I got distracted thinking about trivia facts from said tv show and started looking them up I removed my phone and turned the tv off at the mains so I wasn’t tempted, sat back down and somehow wound up picking at my skin with the moana soundtrack on a loop in my head (just the same two lines, endlessly looping, it feels like my brain is taunting me!)

 

[soph30]

interesting https://www.archive.is/oldest/https...ults-diagnosed-ADHD-depth-look-condition.html

 

[Kim Mild]

Is this in a one on one situation? If so, that's very odd of the other person.

If it's in a group situation, do you make eye contact, use their name to get their attention before you start speaking? Is the person clear that you are directing your comment at them? Are you speaking loudly enough?

I know that the teachers at my daughter's really don't like having a quick word in the playground, so we have to send questions by email or call school to make an appointment, but all schools are different.

Not like one to one conversation, more like in public. I can remember it happening on the school run , and at work, to colleagues. Sometimes people might not hear, especially if there is background noise. Other times I may fail miserably at small talk.

We have an app to send messages on at our school too, bur people do make verbal comments at the door too.

 

[Hollaaa]

Ah, sorry, I didn't make myself clear. We are the same with our school so if they have events on during the day, we don't arrange anything at all outside of school that week.

The school know about our child's ND and there is provision to sit out one full class a day in the designated quiet space. Sometimes this isn't enough, but equally, I don't want too much school to be missed. We're in Scotland so no fines if we miss a day here and there.