Roy_S
Well-known member
cat probably doesn’t like having strangers in the house
- Notice
MacBastard
Active member
Have you seen his latest EV video, where he pretends to be on the verge of tears because he’s going to miss his kids bedtime? A pathetic display altogether.
”Schorry I misssched your bed time, darling, it’sch beCAWS I had to drive to the other end of the country to try some fish an’ chipsch. Controverschial. But! You know me, I’m a Mansfield lad! Yawkshur! LEEDSCH LEEDSCH LEEDSCH! Now, onwardsch to bed, my friendsch!”
He doesn’t seem that bothered when he’s jetting off to America (or “the schtatesch/Amereeka”, as he says) for weeks on end, then - instead of rushing home upon his return - spends a long weekend getting tanked-up on Jameson with that tart Darren John. And when he’s there, all he talks about is baked beans.
“Beeeen-gate, eh? Beeen-gate. Who can ever forget that one, eh?”
No-one, beCAWS you mention it any time you’re within 20 metres of a tin of fucking beans, you complete wanker!
He has caught on to the number of views that his EV videos get, so we can expect a lot more of them - rammed full of more adverts than you can shake a shitty stick at. And the revenue will be higher, because he deliberately gets his bottom-dwelling, Brexit-loving, I’m-not-a-racist-but- followers to fill up the comments and incessantly argue with anyone with an alternative viewpoint.
Have I mentioned how much I hate this man..?
”Schorry I misssched your bed time, darling, it’sch beCAWS I had to drive to the other end of the country to try some fish an’ chipsch. Controverschial. But! You know me, I’m a Mansfield lad! Yawkshur! LEEDSCH LEEDSCH LEEDSCH! Now, onwardsch to bed, my friendsch!”
He doesn’t seem that bothered when he’s jetting off to America (or “the schtatesch/Amereeka”, as he says) for weeks on end, then - instead of rushing home upon his return - spends a long weekend getting tanked-up on Jameson with that tart Darren John. And when he’s there, all he talks about is baked beans.
“Beeeen-gate, eh? Beeen-gate. Who can ever forget that one, eh?”
No-one, beCAWS you mention it any time you’re within 20 metres of a tin of fucking beans, you complete wanker!
He has caught on to the number of views that his EV videos get, so we can expect a lot more of them - rammed full of more adverts than you can shake a shitty stick at. And the revenue will be higher, because he deliberately gets his bottom-dwelling, Brexit-loving, I’m-not-a-racist-but- followers to fill up the comments and incessantly argue with anyone with an alternative viewpoint.
Have I mentioned how much I hate this man..?
MacBastard
Active member
Oh, is that new? That’ll explain why he’s been poncing about waving his hand at anything and everything like some limp-wristed old tart in his latest videos - trying to get his watch into the shot. Probably got it on discount if he shows it off 6 times per video for the next two months.
Very money-savvy, old Dirty Dick Davey. Domiciled in America, no permanent address in the UK, all incoming money goes through a limited company to avoid National Insurance contributions, all while claiming his food and travel bills back (on the little tax he pays) as work expenses…. Loose lips sink ships, MacBastard. Trying saying that one without spitting your dentures out. Would be a shame if someone contacted inland revenue, wouldn’t it?
Yes, it would. And I’ve done it.
MacBastard
Active member
The cat either (a) has no clue who he is and wants to attack him, or (b) is fully aware of what a complete wanker he is and wants to attack him.
Telly Fanatic
VIP Member
Is the question ...why don't you spent time with your kids and grandkids ?
DonInDevon
Active member
This is going to sound weird but I would actually like to have a beer with the MacBastard because I have so many questions! So many myths and theories about this guy and what he knows:
1) How many women is he currently bedding? Are men involved?
2) What’s the truth behind him and the ScroungeStrider? Did he wave his willy at Laura?
3) Why the petnames for his ex-Tenerife buddies? Discuss..
4) Geoff Carter. Sex tourist?
5) Living With Tim in Tenerife channel..is he bonking Juliane? Did he wave his willy at her?
6) That Tenerife Vlog Cast. No idea. Why? Was any willy waving involved?
So many questions, so little time
1) How many women is he currently bedding? Are men involved?
2) What’s the truth behind him and the ScroungeStrider? Did he wave his willy at Laura?
3) Why the petnames for his ex-Tenerife buddies? Discuss..
4) Geoff Carter. Sex tourist?
5) Living With Tim in Tenerife channel..is he bonking Juliane? Did he wave his willy at her?
6) That Tenerife Vlog Cast. No idea. Why? Was any willy waving involved?
So many questions, so little time
He's one tightarse, him. Having spent north of £500 on two days in Tenerife, he is now saying he's not taking his family out for dinner on Christmas Day as it's too expensive, electing instead on a cheaper Indian.
And also... He refers to being scratched by 'Sarah's cat', not 'our cat' or 'the family cat'. Interesting.
And also... He refers to being scratched by 'Sarah's cat', not 'our cat' or 'the family cat'. Interesting.
Jimmytherat1
Member
The plane/travel episodes are my favourite most hated ones. They all follow the same format, a ridiculous click bait title, whispering in the dark outside a house (probably not his own), lumbering through a half empty airport at 6am because he’s paid for the cheap flight tickets, boots meal deal, something, something CONTROVERSIAL my friends! He might buy a coffee and croissant and then moan about the price. Some comment made about paying extra for more leg room and then moaning about that. Some free YouTube music plays over the in flight ‘experience’ that will consist of him filming the plane food menu in slo-mo….SLO MO!!!! For a jet 2 snack menu!!! He then orders something and 100% of the time bites into it and then pulls a stupid disappointed face, he might buy something else and also moan. Numerous head shakes or thumbs up to the camera, a few gurns thrown in for good measure. By this stage, I’ve turned off in anger whilst eagerly awaiting his next video where he lumbers around the streets searching for a 1 euro pint and breakfast.
Your cut out and keep MacMaster full English review bingo card :
"Beangate"
"Do hash browns belong on a full English? Comments down below"
"I like a bent sausage"
"Don't like sausages that look like a poodle's whatsit"
"I like my eggs with a bit of white over the top"
"Milk in my tea first - controversial"
"Don't really go for black pudding but this is nice"
"I prefer smaller mushrooms to those large Portobello ones"
"Tinned tomatoes take me back to my childhood"
"American hash browns are different - I lived there for 12 years, don't you know"
"Yes these are definitely Heinz"
"Toast on the plate pads it out"
"Don't like these sachets"
"much prefer tinned tomatoes to proper tomatoes that have been shown the frying pan"
"Toast is pre-buttered but I'm prepared to overlook that"
"Nice bit of bacon, not too much fat on it"
"Use the sausage as a waterbreak. One for all you Partridge fans out there"
"Beangate"
"Do hash browns belong on a full English? Comments down below"
"I like a bent sausage"
"Don't like sausages that look like a poodle's whatsit"
"I like my eggs with a bit of white over the top"
"Milk in my tea first - controversial"
"Don't really go for black pudding but this is nice"
"I prefer smaller mushrooms to those large Portobello ones"
"Tinned tomatoes take me back to my childhood"
"American hash browns are different - I lived there for 12 years, don't you know"
"Yes these are definitely Heinz"
"Toast on the plate pads it out"
"Don't like these sachets"
"much prefer tinned tomatoes to proper tomatoes that have been shown the frying pan"
"Toast is pre-buttered but I'm prepared to overlook that"
"Nice bit of bacon, not too much fat on it"
"Use the sausage as a waterbreak. One for all you Partridge fans out there"
Go easy on him. After all, as he said on more than one occasion, this is a Third World problem.
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MacBastard
Active member
Surprised he hasn’t gone down to London to try to cash in on the funeral goings-on.
Keep expecting to turn on the tv and see that bell-end crouched down on the floor in front of an oncoming parade, shouting “come on my friendsh, letsch go!” into a camera.
Keep expecting to turn on the tv and see that bell-end crouched down on the floor in front of an oncoming parade, shouting “come on my friendsh, letsch go!” into a camera.
MacBastard
Active member
Maybe he can add that to the opening title of his videos. In between “How you doin’?” and “Espresso Martini”
MacBastard
Active member
Ol’ Dirty Bollocks is back with another trip to the airport. You know what that means? A different but equally as nauseating set of cliches.
He starts, as you do, by waving goodbye to every square inch of his squalid hotel room. Not forgetting to give a thumbs-up to the toilet & bidet. I dare say the toilet deserves it; processing 25 pounds of Jameson-soaked junk food from MacBastard’s rotting colon.
Then he clambers into the back of a taxi for his obligatory “stare out the window and grin like a simpleton” shot.
Upon arrival at the airport, he heads off in search of a meal deal from WH Smith. In fact, this seems to be the entire focus of the video. Fucking riveting stuff from the fat prick. Could’ve saved himself a few euros, there’s probably a hash brown or a portion of chips hidden underneath those tit-flaps (that are so beautifully highlighted by that stinking pink shirt he’s had on since July).
Next, he’s on the plane, putting his camp little hairdressers luggage into the overhead storage. Again, edge of the seat stuff! And let’s not forget to behave like a child and embarrass yourself in front of all the other passengers by constantly videoing yourself grinning at the concept of air travel.
Fucking idiot.
He starts, as you do, by waving goodbye to every square inch of his squalid hotel room. Not forgetting to give a thumbs-up to the toilet & bidet. I dare say the toilet deserves it; processing 25 pounds of Jameson-soaked junk food from MacBastard’s rotting colon.
Then he clambers into the back of a taxi for his obligatory “stare out the window and grin like a simpleton” shot.
Upon arrival at the airport, he heads off in search of a meal deal from WH Smith. In fact, this seems to be the entire focus of the video. Fucking riveting stuff from the fat prick. Could’ve saved himself a few euros, there’s probably a hash brown or a portion of chips hidden underneath those tit-flaps (that are so beautifully highlighted by that stinking pink shirt he’s had on since July).
Next, he’s on the plane, putting his camp little hairdressers luggage into the overhead storage. Again, edge of the seat stuff! And let’s not forget to behave like a child and embarrass yourself in front of all the other passengers by constantly videoing yourself grinning at the concept of air travel.
Fucking idiot.
Sir Lancelot
VIP Member
Macmaster is a nob. He has zero redeeming features and his videos are only worth watching to pick them apart and laugh at. He and his fans are dreadful. Dreadful. I'd rather watch reruns of Fred Dibnah
borisjohnson
New member
Has he had a fall out with Darren John then? They haven’t met for a while and DJ made a comment recently about counting true friends on one hand.
MacBastard
Active member
If you are desperate to see the balding gobshite lisp his way through 25 mins of rambling nonsense while he waves a half-eaten chicken burger at you from 7 different angles, head on over to “YouTooob” (why does he say it like that?) beCAWS you will not be disappointed, my friendsh.
Oh, almost forgot, he met some fans in Wetherspoons (where else?!). They look exactly how I imagined his fans would look:
Him with barely a tooth in his head, and her with boobies hanging down to last Tuesday.
Oh, almost forgot, he met some fans in Wetherspoons (where else?!). They look exactly how I imagined his fans would look:
Him with barely a tooth in his head, and her with boobies hanging down to last Tuesday.
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MacBastard
Active member
When your granny dies and grandad gets on Tinder…
MacBastard
Active member
Good god.
The MacBastard taking a stiff one up the shitter:
The MacBastard spots a hot luggage handler:
The MacBastard catches a glimpse of his own pathetic little erection:
The MacBastard in the back seat of a stranger’s car, happy as a pig in shit beCAWS hes
Hands up who’s a camp little MacBastard:
Attachments
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PoisonHarley
Active member
Fuck me I’m glad my tits don’t look like that 
Then again I’m probs half her age. Wonder if Lee has had them chebs wrapped around his head
Then again I’m probs half her age. Wonder if Lee has had them chebs wrapped around his head